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Study of Text, C 14: XI. The Test of Truth, P 15. 8-26-17

XI. The Test of Truth, P 15
15 The power of God, from which they both arise, is yours as surely as it is His. You think you know Him not, only because, alone, it is impossible to know Him. Yet see the mighty works that He will do through you, and you must be convinced you did them through Him. It is impossible to deny the Source of effects so powerful they could not be of you. Leave room for Him, and you will find yourself so filled with power that nothing will prevail against your peace. And this will be the test by which you recognize that you have understood.

Journal
“Yet see the mighty works that He will do through you, and you must be convinced you did them through Him.” I have helped people, uplifted people, brought people to a new understanding of God, even guided someone out of a suicide pact. I myself have risen from a hostile, fearful and depressed person to someone who is peaceful and happy more than not. And none of that could have possibly come from me. It could only have come through me, by a power not of me. There is nothing about me as Myron that could do any of that.

I sit here in the stillness asking for clarity and for words, and suddenly I am writing. Sometimes as I write, I gain the clarity I asked for. Sometimes it is in me in a flash. Sometimes I write something that is lovely. Nothing I wrote before I learned to listen was good, helpful or lovely. There was nothing noteworthy about it. Where did the words come from? Not from me, but from God through me. It makes me cry when I think about it.
I have had physical healings that defy logic as we know it. I have had emotional healings that occur in a blink of an eye, where I go from fear or intense guilt to complete and unfathomable peace. How did that happen? Where did it come from? Not from Myron, that’s for sure. It came through me from God. Jesus says this: “It is impossible to deny the Source of effects so powerful they could not be of you.” I see how true this is.

In spite of almost daily proof of God working through me, sometimes in quiet, barely discernable ways, and other times in startling ways, I still doubt myself and thus doubt my Creator, the Source of this power. There are times when I feel like a fraud because while all of this is true sometimes, other times I feel afraid and weak and vulnerable. I cringe to say that I am a channel for miracles. I hardly feel worthy. And I sigh to realize that I am far more comfortable playing small.

But then I read what Jesus wrote next. “Leave room for Him, and you will find yourself so filled with power that nothing will prevail against your peace.” I am stunned by this statement. All I have to do is leave room for Him. Leave room. This must surely be that I am to turn aside from the ego’s false humility and simply accept that I belong to God and that He wants me to understand and He wants perfect peace for me. It is through His power in me that I will know this peace.

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