Together, We Light the Way

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, IV.Seeking and Finding, P 7. 2-18-16

IV. Seeking and Finding, P 7
7 The Atonement is not the price of your wholeness, but it is the price of your awareness of your wholeness. For what you chose to “sell” had to be kept for you, since you could not “buy” it back. Yet you must invest in it, not with money but with spirit. For spirit is will, and will is the “price” of the Kingdom. Your inheritance awaits only the recognition that you have been redeemed. The Holy Spirit guides you into life eternal, but you must relinquish your investment in death, or you will not see life though it is all around you.

Journal
I understand the price I have paid to embrace death. I understand it perfectly. I see what it looks like in my life. I know what it costs me to let it go and why I want to do this. I stand in utter astonishment at my own stubborn insistence on holding onto the little self I made. Sometimes I scare myself with my stubbornness. What if I never let it go? What if I can’t? What if I am completely wrong about everything? This is the fear that the truth is not true.

When I became aware of what I was doing to myself and when I started letting go of the blocks to the truth, the ego pulled out the big guns. The ego voice shouted at me about doubt and fear, insisting that this was just not possible and that I obviously cannot, will not, succeed. Probably, the ego says, because it is all nonsense. Just ask anyone … anyone not in the same ridiculous spiritual quest as I am in.

These thoughts used to terrify me, but I went through them and discovered they only have power as I give them meaning. When I go through them without slowing down to stew in them, nothing happens and I continue on my way to the truth. Sometimes, though, thoughts that the truth is not true find a place in my mind to take root, and I am temporarily shaken by them. Fortunately, I am no longer interested in feeding them so the roots are shallow and the thoughts are easily uprooted.

Today, I am listening to the Voice for God tell me about life everlasting, about love without conditions, about union and joy and peace. This Voice speaks to me all through the day and every day. Today, I am listening. The ego keeps trying to pull my attention away from that Voice, but I am enthralled with the Voice for God and its sweet promises. The ego is having no luck.

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