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Study of Text, Chapter 13: VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 13. 10-17-16

VII. Attainment of the Real World, P 13

Journal
Again I am reminded to leave my needs to the Holy Spirit. I can rest easy knowing that everything is taken care of if I do this. My retirement date is very close. Every so often I wonder if I am going to be financially ready for that. Sometimes I start planning what to do about this bill or that obligation. Then I start to worry.

Reviewing this section of the Course is so helpful right now. When I notice I am thinking ahead and fretting, I remind myself that the Holy Spirit is in charge of my needs in this world so why would I be concerned. This helps me to back out of something that does not need my attention. I realize that I don’t know what it is I need, nor do I know how to ask for that which will not distract me, or in some other way delay me.

The Holy Spirit has His eye on the journey’s end, and that is not always true about me. Sometimes, often really, I know that the peace of God is everything I want. But then other times I think I really need something else. This neediness diverts my attention from what matters and sometimes it turns me completely away from my purpose. I don’t always realize what has happened for awhile, only that I am no longer happy and at peace. So yes, I need the Holy Spirit’s help. It is never confused about what matters.

Here I seem to have so many obligations and responsibilities. I am often confused and uncertain. I suffer and I die. It is a harsh illusion in many ways. The absolute best I can do is to experience relief from this, but never be free of it for as long as I hold the illusion in place with my desire for a personal self, and with my fear to look at the unconscious guilt I have buried so deeply in my mind. Sometimes it makes me tired just thinking about it. Maybe that is why I am so attracted to the last line.

“Within himself he has no needs, for light needs nothing but to shine in peace, and from itself to let the rays extend in quiet to infinity.”

I feel like I can rest in that promise. I feel unburdened just thinking about it. Perhaps I am not “within myself” right now, but I can get a taste of this as I step back from my plans and my worries and just let the Holy Spirit provide for me.

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