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Study of Manual for Teachers 1/17/12

Day 17

A. Development of Trust
1 First, they must go through what might be called “a period of undoing.” This need not be painful, but it usually is so experienced. It seems as if things are being taken away, and it is rarely understood initially that their lack of value is merely being recognized. How can lack of value be perceived unless the perceiver is in a position where he must see things in a different light? He is not yet at a point at which he can make the shift entirely internally. And so the plan will sometimes call for changes in what seem to be external circumstances. These changes are always helpful. When the teacher of God has learned that much, he goes on to the second stage.

What I have noticed is that the stages as they appear in my life are not clearly defined, one from another. It seems that I slip from one stage to another and back again, but each time the return to a stage is different, the stay there not so intense or so long.

I am having the hardest time remembering what it was like to be afraid of letting go, a time when I did not believe that all of the changes were helpful. It is hard even to remember when the changes seemed to be outward, and I believed things were being taken from me.

Right now, I am letting go of the idea that I need my children to be something special to me. This seems to be a difficult transition to me because I still value the special relationships we have. Because I value the specialness in the relationships I feel reluctant to lose the outward signs that I am very special to my children. I don’t mean that I am being asked to give up our relationships, but only to give up the specialness.

So I am still having the experience of undoing, but now as it happens I am aware of the outward appearance but that is not where my focus is, as I know the change occurs within. I also know this change will be good. I trust that this is true because it has always been true as I have gone through these changes, but it seems I have to wait for the personality-self to catch up to this. The Myron-self feels fearful about it, and is afraid that it will be a loss though she can see, intellectually, that this would not be true.

When I first began the undoing process I did not have this certainty. I had to develop trust as I did the practice. When I was completely unsure that this was for my best good, undoing was indeed painful. It is surprisingly hard to put the difference into words.

Imagine that you had the ability to levitate, but you didn’t know about the ability, had no idea you could levitate. I come along and tell you to step off a cliff. I tell you that you cannot imagine the freedom you will feel when you realize you don’t have to worry about falling ever again. And to know this extraordinary freedom all you have to do is step out.

Even though you might trust me, or know you should trust me, you would be reluctant to give up the “safety” of the ground that seems to support you and keep you from certain death. You would value this sense of safety and be reluctant to let it go, and yet this trustworthy person is offering you the chance to be forever free of your fear of falling.

The true change being offered is that you would be giving up the sense of loss, vulnerability, and fear. But the outward appearance is that you would have to give up the safety of the ground under your feet. It would probably feel very frightening and very painful to contemplate and no matter how much you trusted me, extremely hard to take that first step into air.

Imagine now that you did finally step out and discovered that you really could levitate. The next time I told you that you could do something extraordinary you might experience fear, but you would have developed some trust and it would not be nearly so hard. You would have seen that I mean you only good. Suppose the next thing I tell you is that you can walk through fire and be unharmed. You will still be reluctant to let go of the safety of the place that has no fire, but you will consider my words with less trepidation than when you had the first experience of undoing a belief.

After many experiences of undoing, I know that they are all for my good, and I do trust the Holy Spirit. I have learned that I value all the wrong things, and though I feel some trepidation at giving up some beliefs, such as the one that says I need to be special to my children, I also know that I will. I have developed trust to that degree and so this process is not seen as being as painful as it used to be and it is not so protracted.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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