Miracles News Fall 2000
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Resistance & Reluctance • Heaven's Gate
Our Connecting Link with God • Impossibilities • More Fall 2000 Articles
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Recently I spoke at a Sunday service on the topics of resistance and reluctance. I found it interesting that initially when Spirit suggested I speak on this topic, I found myself resisting the very thought. I found myself wanting to ignore or disregard the fact that I would have more than enough information from my own experiences on this topic.

The traditional definition of reluctance is: feeling or showing an aversion; hesitation or unwillingness (to get involved); a desire to avoid or turn away. These definitions fit my experiences of reluctance. Resistance was explained as an act (or instance) of opposition; being against a situation or condition. Yep, another fit.

When I thought about spiritual resistance and reluctance, I decided that the words defined above contain some qualities of spiritual resistance, but spiritual forms of resistance go far beyond these simple explanations for me.

After deciding that I would personally have enough material to speak on this subject, I was given some examples from friends of mine -- their forms of spiritual resistance and reluctance. One friend shared about wanting to see something differently and went a step further by being aware that thinking differently about the situation would be helpful to his peace of mind. But even with this awareness, he was still experiencing some resistance to actually doing it. At that moment it became clear to me that I didn't necessarily have a corner on the market on this subject. I think perhaps that many of us struggle with our own forms of resistance and reluctance, which may in some ways impair our spiritual growth.

In his case, I thought he was likely to change his thoughts in a way that would be healing to him at some point, since he had already overcome a major hurdle, which was awareness of his resistance. Awareness of resistance is the first step in healing our minds. Then this awareness can be blended with willingness to create a change in thoughts or behavior.

Another touching example of overcoming resistance came to me from a friend who is a counselor. He shared that he had a client who was economically challenged. He thought it was likely that this client didn't go out very often or have extra money to spend on things beyond his basic needs. One day before a session, my friend clearly got the thought to take this client to dinner. His resistance began at this point with, "No, that's not a good idea. That crosses boundaries of client/professional relationships." The thought to take his client to dinner persisted and after the session, he asked him if he had plans for dinner. He said he did not. Then my friend was moved to say, "I want to take you and your wife out for dinner tonight." The client accepted his offer. Later he told him that he was so pleased because that was his birthday and without the invitation to go to dinner, there would have been no celebration.

So my friend modeled to me that sometimes listening to the Voice of Spirit goes beyond our rules and boundaries set in place by society and that overcoming resistance can have a very favorable outcome.

Reluctance and resistance can be experienced in many ways. One form is fear. I may be too scared to act on a thought or gesture, so I experience resistance. Another form is doubt. Self-doubt can be justified as, "It won't matter if I do this, so I won't even try." This form of reluctance is really about something other than what I tell myself it's about.

Guilt is another way to experience resistance. Guilt is felt when I think, "If I do this, it might cause _____ to happen or ____ to go wrong." So I allow myself to be reluctant to avoid feeing guilty, whether the perceived outcome is real or not. It does matter if I allow myself to act on a false belief of thinking I know the outcome of my actions. I hold myself hostage to my false thoughts by allowing guilt to support my resistance.

Finally, judgment. In this case I am reluctant to act on something because I think or feel someone will judge me, or I begin to judge myself. I can remember times when I've decided not to call a friend, or give someone a hug. I've decided not to extend encouragement to someone or put limitations on myself, all because of resistance.

I've been given the opportunity to work with overcoming resistance in my relationships. I was in a marriage for over two decades where constructive communication wasn't developed. I learned to be quiet and non-communicative. When I met Derek, I began, with his help, to practice communication and start to overcome my reluctance to express myself. This has helped develop meaningful communications and strengthen our relationship. It was and still is at times difficult to recognize my resistance as a barrier to my personal growth and sometimes I fall back into patterns of non-verbalizing.

I am learning to ask myself, "Can I extend myself to someone in a way that brings me no immediate gain, or do I resist? Can I stretch my own comfort routines to serve others in a place of greater physical need? Or am I reluctant to try? Can I pause from my daily tasks to listen to a friend's problems or concerns? Or do I resist, thinking that it's no big deal. Can I forfeit some of my free time to extend my services or talents to a worthy cause? Or do I resist, assuming I won't be needed. Do I follow up on a hunch that a friend would appreciate hearing from me? Or am I reluctant, thinking it wouldn't really matter. Do I take time to travel to my old neighborhood to look in on a dear elderly couple who extended love to me at a time in need? Or do I resist, saying the time isn't now or the traffic is too heavy. Do I trust that a friend may enjoy a new book I just read? Or do I resist, thinking that last time it took forever to get returned.

It really boils down to choice. And the choice is: I can accept or deny barriers of resistance. This is very key. I can make a choice to accept or deny barriers of reluctance. When I become aware of my thoughts, I can bring in my willingness and create a new way of looking at my actions by bringing them to the Light. I can walk forward in a way that releases my resistance as I ask Spirit to help me overcome my barriers.

Click here to email Eva.

© Copyright 2000, Pathways of Light and/or the author.

I read in the last Miracle News about the upcoming weekend program in September at Pathways, "Healing Through Forgiveness." If I did not live so far away, I'd be there. Forgiveness is something that I have worked especially hard to achieve during the last five years. For the past half decade I have been immersed in ongoing divorce litigation. This process was proceeded by twenty years of a very unholy relationship. There has been great pain and fear between my ex-husband and myself. However, it has been through my efforts to forgive him and myself that I have started my journey home.

I have always learned best through practical application. I'm told that it is Capricorn on the cusp of my ninth house, as structure is the key concept of the astrological sign. The description of this placement reads that I am very much a person who prefers evidence to theory. One way or the other, my life is without doubt the learning ground I walk upon. It is, therefore, not surprising that I have created such an intense life lesson. The great difficulties I experienced through years of unhappiness and the terrible frustration of a never-ending divorce have deeply impressed upon me the necessity of changing my whole way of thinking. Not one to do things half way, my entire life has undergone a dramatic change. My home and family life is gone. Having formerly worked for my self-employed ex-husband, my job was also left behind. Most friends were ours through him, and my one childhood chum wasn't able to weather the separation. Physically, a structural weakness in my back has forced me to depend on disability and although I manage well enough with a major life style adjustment, I am unable to work on a daily basis and earn a living as I once could.

I lost all external power. I left myself only one option -- to go within. The choice was made perfectly clear.

I began to read and to study A Course in Miracles and was led to Pathways of Light. I'm receiving energy therapy and attend related workshops here in Massachusetts. I believe I've finally begun to know myself and remember who I am. "Forgiveness is the means by which we will remember" is stated in the preface to ACIM. It continues, "Through forgiveness the thinking of the world is reversed." I knew my direction could be changed. I prayed to fully embrace forgiveness.

I have slowly gained strength and insight. I have started to see the bigger picture. I am now able to understand that it is I who created the path I needed to follow. This was practical application at its finest. Choices I had thought to be poor ones or failures to be ashamed of now appeared to be perfect for the time and a catalyst for the growth I now benefit from. I'm more forgiving of myself at each encounter I find to be difficult and understand better that this growth will continue to cycle.

What I thought needed to be forgiven in my marriage is disappearing and dissolving into the past. "Forgiveness is the great release from time. It is the key to learning that the past is over. Madness speaks no more. There is no other teacher and no other way. For what has been undone no longer is." T26.V.6:1-5

I was released with this understanding and freed to respect what I had formerly held in contempt. I am able to replace anger and fear with love and understanding. I still have practical issues that must be dealt with but I am no longer burdened and paralyzed with conflicted thoughts and feelings.

My heart has always been grounded with the love I have within for my son, Chris. I have always known that he was sent to my ex-husband and me for a very special reason. These days as I struggle to endure and understand I can feel that love expand and facilitate the strength I am asking to receive. It has only been through our relationship that I am still in the running and I feel privileged and very grateful that I have, at last, the capability to take the only option left and reverse my thinking.

My thoughts are summed up, as it is at the end of the Preface to ACIM. "The forgiven world becomes the gate of Heaven, because by its mercy we can at last forgive ourselves. Holding no one prisoner to guilt, we become free. Acknowledging Christ in all our brothers, we recognize His Presence in ourselves. Forgetting all our misperceptions, and with nothing from the past to hold us back, we can remember God. Beyond this, learning cannot go. When we are ready, God himself will take the final step in our return to Him."

I feel, at long last, to be moving forward. The past can no longer hold me back. I have found the freedom to remember who I am. Only miracles lay ahead.

Click here to email Joy.

© Copyright 2000, Pathways of Light and/or the author.

A Course in Miracles defines forgiveness as the willingness to let our thoughts be corrected by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit may seem far away at times, but this Voice for God is always there, in the back of our minds, waiting to be welcomed into our awareness. If the Holy Spirit is hidden, it is our fear that is hiding it from ourselves. In our fear, we try to kid ourselves into thinking that the Holy Spirit is not available to us.

The Holy Spirit is the connecting link to our true Self in God. This connecting link creates a pathway by which we return Home. We have to choose to be open-minded enough to let ourselves be aware of Its constant Presence in our minds. Part of this choosing is being willing to still the monkey mind -- all the ego thoughts that constantly chatter about an outer world of bodies and separated forms. This monkey mind is constantly churning up outer reasons for our lack of peace.

It constantly encourages striving to get more, because it believes in scarcity. It is vigilant to defend against anything that doesn't agree with its world view of separation, individuality, scarcity and loss. It sees a world of constant change, which it must defend itself against to protect its private interests.

The Holy Spirit wants us to recognize the monkey mind for what it is -- just a bunch of fearful ideas. The Holy Spirit wants to heal our minds of such sick and foolish thoughts. The Holy Spirit comes from our true Self, which we had forgotten when we bought into the beliefs of the monkey mind. The truth is the Holy Spirit is always there, waiting in the back of our mind, waiting for the opportunity to correct our fear thoughts. When we pay attention to the monkey mind, it shuts off the awareness that the Holy Spirit is still there... waiting for us to quiet down long enough for us to be aware of Its Presence.

I once thought that I had to jump over hurdles to be able to get in touch with the Holy Spirit. Now I know that it simply takes my willingness to quiet down the monkey mind -- which always focuses on making an outer world real. Quieting the monkey mind involves being willing to take time out from the busyness of the world. It means taking time out to be quiet. As I started this practice of quieting down the monkey mind, it seemed very hard to do. Thoughts seemed to pop up constantly... something I needed to do... something I needed to worry about or figure out to protect the future... or something in the past to ruminate about. It seemed like the monkey mind was saying, "Oh no! Not quiet, anything but that! Don't give me up. Don't let all your striving go. You will not be safe! Don't let all your thoughts of the past go. That is part of your identity. Then where will you be? What will happen to you? This is dangerous!" I saw my deciding to be quiet was a threat to the monkey mind. Stillness... quiet... Thoughts from the monkey mind then said, "This is boring. How long can you put up with this? Let's go for something more exciting and stimulating... something that will get the adrenaline flowing again."

No... I choose to still my mind... I choose to let all these thoughts quiet down... relaxing down to deeper quiet... slowing all worldly thoughts down to a halt... going to the deep waters of peace... allowing my mind to be there... rest there awhile... rest in feeling the gentleness... the presence of peace. In this quiet place I am aware of the feeling that all is well... all is safe... everything is OK. In this quiet place I realize that the Holy Spirit is still there, helping me return to the truth... helping me feel the happiness, the joy, the safety of my true Self. There is really nothing to worry about... I am safe in God. I never really left.

I am learning that when I don't take time out frequently to return to this quiet place of peace, I easily put myself under pressure again. I start believing in the monkey mind and lose my awareness of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit never leaves my mind. I just shut It out when I listen to the monkey mind.

I am realizing that it is always my choice which voice I listen to -- the Holy Spirit or the monkey mind. I can tell which voice I am listening to by the level of peace I feel. The monkey mind hates peace and loves conflict, worry and judgment. The Holy Spirit always leads to peace, joy and happiness. I am finding it very worthwhile to catch when I am choosing monkey mind and take the time to go to stillness... quietness. And there is my faithful connecting link to God -- waiting for me with open arms, helping me remember again the truth of our oneness in God.

Click here to email Mary.

© Copyright 2000, Pathways of Light and/or the author.