Pathways of Light Miracles News, 1/99 p. 1

Miracles News Winter 1999

Resolving Conflict • God's Only Wish for You Is Happiness • We Are Still as God Created Us • Why Keep Guilt? • Whose Happiness Is It? • More Winter '99 Articles
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Resolving Conflict -- by Rev. Robert Stoelting

When I was a child, I perceived myself as different. I felt that I didn't "fit in." I believed that being different caused conflict. To cope with the conflict I felt, I became quiet and withdrew so I wouldn't be noticed. The less attention I received, the safer I felt. I was labeled "shy." This coping mechanism that I believed would keep me safe from conflict became a way of life.

Yet what I thought would protect me from conflict actually kept it going. Along with the belief that being different caused conflict came the belief that being different made me unacceptable and unworthy. The part of me that felt unacceptable wanted to be part of "the group" so that I could feel more worthy. One part of me wanted to withdraw to avoid conflict with others, while another part of me wanted to join with the group so I could feel accepted. But withdrawing separated me from everyone, leaving me feeling alone, isolated, unacceptable and unworthy.

The belief in being different and that being different makes me unacceptable and unworthy is a twisted perception the ego uses to reinforce a sense of separation, isolation and aloneness. Withdrawing to avoid conflict was serving the ego's purpose well. All my coping mechanism did was shift the apparent conflict from outside (between me and others) to inside (between aspects within myself). At the same time it made me feel even more alone.

It is true that believing we are separate from our Source leads us to feel unworthy because that belief cuts us off from awareness of our Source of infinite worth. The ego does not want us to recognize that this false belief in being different is our source of feeling unworthy. If we recognized that a false belief was our source of pain, we would let it go immediately.

The truth is that we are not and can not be different from our Source of worth. We are one with our Source. But we can believe we are different, and believing makes it seem to be true.

It is the belief in being different that is the central foundation of the ego. To protect this belief from being recognized for its falsity, it needs to make it appear that being different is not just a belief in our minds. So an elaborate world was made with billions of "other" people who appear to be outside of us and different.

To reinforce the sense of separation, the appearance of differences seems to cause conflict. And the fear of conflict leads to believing that isolation can protect against conflict. So the sense of separation is further reinforced. It now appears that there is no way out of the sense of isolation and unworthiness because everywhere we turn, the sense of difference means conflict. And conflict is something to be avoided.

Once again, this avoidance of conflict is a twist of the ego. Deep within each of us is a memory that peace is our natural state and conflict is unnatural. The ego took my desire to return to my natural state of peace and twisted it into a belief that I needed to avoid conflict at all costs. The ego never questions the reality of conflict. To the ego, conflict is a given because the ego is the idea of conflict. It would never question the basis for its very existence.

My perceived need to avoid conflict is a clever ego substitute for my innate desire to return Home to Peace. My belief that conflict is real holds the need to avoid it in place.

The antidote for the poison of the false belief in conflict is to remember that we are not different. Our loving Father created us out of His Love and gave all His Love to all of us. And because we are His Thought of Love, we remain safely in His Mind. All His Love is ours, for His Mind is ours. We contain everything that is God. We contain all Love. Love never changes, so we remain the Thought of Love with all Its attributes. And since Love continuously extends, we continuously extend. Our Love extends as God's Love extends.

Love always joins with Love, for Love is the idea of Oneness. There can be no conflict in Love, for Love is all the same. Without conflict, there is peace, which is an attribute of Love. The extension of Love brings joy, and because Love is always extending, Love is always joyous.

Peace and joy are attributes of Love. Conflict and sadness are attributes of separation. Since separation is a false idea that could never be true, conflict and sadness are false ideas.

The way to protect ourselves from feeling different and alone is to recognize that we are safe at Home in the Love that created us. In this world of seeming differences, conflict between differences is inevitable. But this seeming conflict has no effect when we remember it is not real and that we are safe at Home in the Heart of Love.

An Exercise to Resolve Conflict
Recall a situation in which you felt conflict. Acknowledge that you perceived conflict and remind yourself that the conflict is not real. It is an effect of the belief in differences. It is fear that points out differences. Ask your Inner Wisdom to help you see beyond the cloak of fear to the Light of Love. Join with the Light of Love and the cloak will fall away. Feel the joy of joining in Love. Feel the safety and the complete lack of conflict.

The answer to feeling different is the opposite of withdrawing. It is the joining with the Love Essence in everyone and seeing Its reality that clearly shows that differences are unreal. All seeming differences are merely an ego attempt to make separation seem real. In the heart of all who see differences is a call to remember Love.

Differences don't matter. What people think of differences doesn't matter. What purpose is given the differences matters. If the differences are used to hold in place a belief in the reality of separation, they only lead to greater isolation. And since the ego is the idea of separation, it will always use some form of separation to "resolve" conflict.

But if the differences are used to open doors for people to pass through and build bridges for them to cross as they move toward the real world of forgiveness, then those differences serve to lead the way Home to the peace and joy of infinite Love. It comes back once again to asking of everything, "What is this for?"

God's Only Wish for You Is Happiness -- by Rev. Christine Anderson

One day I was going to cook a stir fry for myself and looked for my wonderful, big teflon coated frying pan, with a big glass lid. I found it out of it's usual place, and no cover to be found. I noticed to my dismay a few gouges in the teflon. Someone was careless with my pot, I judged, I blamed. I started to be aware of an internal irritability. It could even be called anger.

Quickly, I reached out to a nearby friend for a true statement. With great willingness she connected with Spirit in her own mind and in a moment, gave me this gem. "God's only wish for you is happiness." I thanked her and accepted the truth gem in my own mind, and returned to my cooking.

I said to myself, I have a new life now -- an opening up to my heritage of happiness. This new life speaks to me from deep within, where it has always been, waiting patiently for me to listen and receive what is rightfully mine. This voice encourages me to remember that happiness is an inside job. I can use the awareness of my feelings of irritability or disappointment as a helpful signal to make a decision. Would I rather have peace than this? Then, if I really want it, receive the miracle.

Recalling the moment my friend was there for me, I remember that Holy Spirit is ready, willing and able to give me a gift, a gem, a change of perception, another way to look at any situation, right in my own mind. I can choose happiness, even when something happens that is not what I expected or wanted. With the effect of the work I have done with healing my mind, my preventative maintenance system kicked in. I'd rather have peace than go to pieces.

The story doesn't end there. A week later, I noticed my glass lid in my cupboard. Low and behold, my own pot, unscratched and perfect was there also. The other pot wasn't even mine! In retrospect, I was so glad I was willing to ask for help to move beyond the appearance of lack and to truly have the experience of nothing happened other than love. I recall how quickly the answer to my call for love was answered within my mind and with the appearance of my friend.

We Are Still as God Created Us -- by Rev. Mary Stoelting

One of the most significant truths from A Course in Miracles I am focusing on and reinforcing in my mind is the idea that we are still as God created us and we can't change what God created because what God created is eternal. Because ideas leave not their source, we cannot leave God and we cannot change God.

This means we did not and could not change into limited, separate self identities. This also means that we are from God, of God and we can't change that. We are always safe in God, immersed in a sea of love, no matter what may seem to be happening in the dream.

I am finding that remembering this is very practical in my everyday life. When I am vigilant in remembering that I really am in a sea of peace and love, I can feel it. With this comes the experience of ease and the feeling that everything is all right. I remember that the outer appearances that I see with the body's senses is just a dream. I really am safe -- still in God... still in love... still in the eternal peace of God. I am an extension of God's love and so are you. Nothing has really changed.

This helps me trust when the road appears to get bumpy. When things don't seem to be going smoothly, I can bring that memory back that I am still safe in God, in Love. This helps me take another look at my experience from the perspective that I am dreaming a dream of separation, but the truth is, I am still in eternal Oneness. Nothing has really changed. With this detachment, I can relax and listen to the inner Teacher, who will support my trusting in Reality instead of illusions.

I am finding that it is impossible to stay in peace if I am not coming from this state of mind. When I am not remembering, I make the error real. If I am buying the ego thought system, I am not seeing from the Holy Spirit's point of view. Then this world seems so filled with conflict, scarcity, victim thinking and the need to defend.

From my experience I am finding it is worth the effort and constant vigilance it takes to come back to: I am still as God created me. Right now I am immersed in peace and love... that is the truth. Right now I am peace and love. That is the only truth. I don't have to struggle and fight for it. It is the only truth--now.

Returning to this thought helps me connect with my inner Teacher so my mind can be straightened out. I just forgot who I was and where I was. My mind got puckered up and I forgot that peace and love is my only reality. I thought something else was true for awhile. I believed that illusions were real and scared myself for awhile. I just forgot my innate abundance and placed my trust in the wrong place.

When I take the time to stop and listen, Spirit brings the truth back into my mind. I am grateful that this is so.

Why Keep Guilt? -- by Rev. Mary Manke

I recently gleaned another awareness about guilt that the ego thought system would have me use. I came to see that this world, when used under ego's direction, is for the purpose of maintaining guilt and belief in my separation from God.

It is a thought system that uses the world to make guilt real. That is the system's only purpose--an attempt to make guilt real. So any thought, however innocuous it appears, may be for the sole purpose of perpetuating guilt and my belief in separation. If some part of my mind is feeling guilty, then it is tempted to use the old pattern of projection. If I see myself as guilty, how can I see a brother as guiltless?

My ego beliefs would have me make him guilty, just as the ego sees me, so that I could "take back" my innocence. And this "attack" for stealing innocence will insure that my guilt is held firmly intact. If I see guilt in me, then I am seeing it in my brother subconsciously.

The thoughts of "should, ought to, have to," can show me that the underlying belief in separation and guilt are being adhered to. And these beliefs are followed blindly if I do not catch them and ask for Spirit's correction. If I let the ego spoon feed me guilt without looking at what it says is good for me, then I remain a blind and willing student of fear. The thoughts of "should, ought to, have to," are from my past programming. They deal with how others might see me or what others think about me.

Any of my feelings of littleness, unworthiness, unlovableness, and the flip side--feelings of specialness--are from the thought system that would keep guilt real and me guilty. Is it my desire to keep guilt? Or can I change my mind about its value and let the thought that protected guilt go? I can decide to let Holy Spirit change my sight. Then I will see truth or love or peace, where the misperception stood. And I need not feel defeated or dismayed when I recognize another form that guilt has taken. It appears that witnesses to guilt take on many forms and each has many voices. (T-27.I:6-7)

I can look at the next aspect that upholds belief in guilt and remember that it is another opportunity to give this perception to Spirit, where it will be corrected, and my mind healed. I can look at the aspect and recognize I have brought myself a lesson in love, the chance to let Holy Spirit show me love behind the self-inflicted fear.

Love will always show me that guilt, in any form, in me or my brother, is never justified. Guilt is always meaningless in any form. Guilt is a call for love. Guilt is the attempt to keep the separation from God real. Guilt would keep me from reaching my right mind or Holy Spirit, to let the thought of guilt be corrected and transformed to truth.

Ask yourself this: Has the acceptance of guilt ever changed anything for the good in your experience? Or has it left you feeling bereft, hopeless and exposed? Has guilt ever helped you to be aware of truth? In my case it has never given me any benefits, never truly eased any pain, never made my life "easier." I feel that I am now giving up thoughts of guilt and it's "benefits," to seek what Spirit gives in place of false beliefs. Spirit gives so happily to me when I ask.

Whose Happiness Is It? -- by Rev. Mary Manke

After reading Lesson 66 in A Course in Miracles, I had the following flow of consciousness: God gives me only happiness. Accepting something else in its place is insane. God gives me only happiness. What I have made is no substitute for happiness. I cannot be happy by myself, I cannot be happy trying to do "my will." I cannot be happy if I think God's Will is different from my own.

God gives me only happiness. If I am not happy, then I am playing in my illusionary dream world, thinking I can be different from what God created. God gives me only happiness. My insane choices make me unhappy. If I follow Holy Spirit, I will be led back to my true happiness.

God gives me only happiness. He cannot give what He does not have. God does not give guilt, punishment, revenge, grievances, hate, spitefulness, anger, despair. He does not give me tension, stress, defeat, rejection, aloneness, or insanity! These mad ideas have come only from my insane thoughts.

God gives me only happiness. God knows only happiness. There is no difference between us. My happiness is His happiness. God gives me only happiness. He has given my function to me. Therefore my function must be happiness.

My lesson continued along these thoughts: the law of God is not the law of a tyrant. The tyrant cannot usurp the role of God. What I have dreamed has always been a dream and nothing more. What happens in a dream does not change the truth, but I have the ability to recognize and accept the truth (or choose not to).

I am not to be deceived by the ego's claims that I am failing this Course. Every instant I choose to release the past (past thought) I am a step nearer to my Memory. A step away from a thought of nothingness assures that I am releasing the desire to be autonomous. It assures I am looking for the Christ, and that is the wholeness of Mind, the acceptance of Oneness. It is the memory of never being alone, the memory of a loving Oneness, which I never left.

Letting go of what never happened (because I made the dream) is now real to me. This letting go is real to me, as forgiveness' witnesses show me the world forgiven. A world where the Son of God is free of guilt. The happy dream is mine to share -- not the dark world of fear and denial (of truth).

Every instant I release the past, I free the world, I free my brother, I free myself from the illusions I thought would make me happy. The world (dream) of fear will no more hold value for me. I will see the temptation of fear thoughts and will decide that loving thoughts hold more value for me than meaningless ones.

God gives me only happiness. His Will is one. I can deny the truth, but I cannot change it. I stop denying my truth, my Self, I stop seeking treasure in an empty, unloving dream world, when I cease to replay the past in my thinking, in my mind. I am not to feel shame over these mistakes (shame/guilt is yet another "past tape" or weapon of the ego) -- merely see that these mistakes are no longer worthy of me, no longer merit thoughts in my mind. Merely seek the healing of Holy Spirit. See that every mistaken thought is my call for love and let His loving answer replace the thought of past or fear. He will teach me that the past has no meaning, has no truth, has no value. By accepting this miracle, this gift, I will know my function is happiness. My happiness is God's Will. My function has the light of God in It. God gives me only happiness. My freedom from the past demonstrates happiness is my function.

Resolving Conflict • God's Only Wish for You Is Happiness • We Are Still as God Created Us • Why Keep Guilt? • Whose Happiness Is It? • More Winter '99 Articles