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There was a time when I was certain that I was among that special group of people (which I was equally certain existed), who did not have access to Inner Guidance. I remember matter-of-factly sharing this “key piece of personal information” with my facilitator when I began studying Pathways of Light’s ministerial training program. I don’t recall his exact response at the time. I know he did not directly challenge this belief. I believe though, it may have opened the door to a discussion of the Course’s concept of “specialness,” and I came to actually laugh at that “silly idea” of mine… much later. Though I no longer question my accessibility to Inner Guidance, at times I feel somewhat “Guidance challenged,” questioning whether what I’m receiving is true Guidance or just my own ego’s planning. I question being attached to the timing and/or manner in which guidance should show up. At times, I even wonder whether I’m getting Guidance at all. It recently came into my awareness that having this attitude towards receiving Guidance might not be conducive to a state of mind that is receptive to Inner Guidance. So I decided to ask for guidance on receiving guidance. Why not? After all, all we need do is ask, right? So I began to practice asking, deliberately listening and letting go of expectations, just staying open to whatever I heard without judgment. As I learned to quiet my mind and just listen, this reassuring message with clear guidelines for Guidance came into my mind: ”My Beloved, I have promised that if you call I will answer.” That promise is eternal. My voice speaks to you through every person, event or circumstance, regardless of how they may appear. I am always answering your calls. I am always guiding you ,expressing through you. You are always loved. You are always surrounded by Love, because Love is what you are. Love is all there is and Love is what I am. You are never alone nor abandoned. You can’t be. You are forever a part of me. How you let me lead you is by choosing to remember my promise, accepting it as Truth, and letting it be the foundation on which you stand, the arena within which you operate. There is not one call which I have not answered. I have not missed one opportunity to remind you of the Oneness that we share. As you dwell on these thoughts, your mind enters into a state of Peace. When you are in a peaceful state of mind you will see and hear my answer instead of obstacles to my answer. Do not look for proof of my answer in the form of changes to your ‘outside’ circumstances. Do not ask for changes in your ’outside’ circumstances, for what you perceive as ‘outside’ is only a reflection of your state of mind. Ask rather to be at peace; to experience peace, regardless of how the circumstances may appear. Let peace be your only desire. Let peace be your only option and that is what you will see, hear, reflect and experience. Put my promise to the test. Accept it as Fact. Peace has already been given you. I will always answer you. I already have. Be at peace my Beloved.” This is the form of guidance I at times seem to desperately seek, but can only receive when I get quiet and tune into peace. Rev. Jennifer McSween is a Pathways of Light minister who lives in Nuns Island, QC Email: lifeworks2001j@yahoo.com |
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It was spring and all creation was bringing forth new life. Buds were cropping out and signs of nest building were everywhere. Making use of this natural cycle of energy, our son and daughter-in-law began plans for their family ‘nest,’ a new home. The architect had submitted his sketch of what he understood they wanted. Of course, what was thought to be clear communication, had failed to materialize the desired plans. I’m one who enjoys making floor plans with my ‘magic pencil.’ A builder once told me that I could draw any (#!*!) thing I wanted with that magic pencil but that didn’t mean it could be built. So, knowing my ‘designing history,’ Mark and Julie asked me to spend some time with their house plans and see if i could come up with something that filled more of their needs and wants. Well, I was energized with their charge, to say the least. Mind you now, that I am usually in bed every night by nine, ten at the very latest. As the architects plans were drawn to 1/4” scale, I set to work using my husband’s 1/4” scale ruler that he once used to take off plans for painting new construction. Things were going great. I was getting some larger rooms they wanted and adding a powder room for guests. This is great! I was delighted with my ‘genius,’ and I was being such a help. Half way through the plans, I was at the end of my paper, so I taped on another large piece to accommodate my drawing. It was then, I first thought, “Wow, how big is this house?” I kept drawing, making precise measurements. I glanced at the clock, 2:00 a.m. I notice that I’m full of energy. I smile to myself, noting the preponderance of energy available when one has engaged heart, mind and soul with intent. The perimeters of my plans continued to grow so that I needed to add a third sheet of paper. I felt like I was in some kind of a world of overlapping dimensions. The architect’s little 1/4” scale plan had at least doubled or more in size. I checked the scale on the ruler. Yes, I was using the 1/4” scale side. So what is happening here? Something is not working; something crazy is going on. I put down my pencil and ruler, sat back, quietly took a deep breath, glanced at the clock, 4:00 a.m., and prayed. “Holy Spirit, help me to see what the problem is so it can be corrected.” In no more than the time it took me to feel that prayer, I found my hands picking up the ruler again and this time my eyes saw for the first time a notice written across the whole length of the ruler... Notice: Special civil engineer’s scale for 3/4” size projections only! Then I remembered, my husband would take off plans on a huge underlit table that was equipped with a projector. My ruler was not the standard 1/4” scale. Therein was the answer to my prayer as well as the feeling of overlapping dimensions. Oh my god; ten hours of work using the wrong tool! First I felt angry at myself that negative ego voice calling me stupid. Then I felt foolish, just plain foolish for not noticing sooner. And then I began to laugh out loud, a huge belly laugh, at the cosmic joke and the learning. The lesson for me in that ‘holy instant’ was ACIM’s “projection makes perception.” I thought about how this experience was a simile for ego’s projections. When we are using the ‘tool’ of the ego eyes we ‘project’ huge distortions — things that are believed to be real and seem to be real, but aren’t. When we use the proper measure, Spirit’s eyes, we see Reality. Rev. Therese Anne Ward is a Pathways of Light minister who lives in Cold Spring, KY Email: d.t.ward@fuse.net |
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The Practice of Healing and Transformation I woke up this morning. It was early and I realized that I was wide awake. As I am in the process of doing my Miracles Practitioner practice, I am having this experience of words resonating in me. I am finding that I will take one passage from A Course in Miracles or from Course 921 and immerse in it before sleeping. Last night I was working on two sections: 1) “Miracles Practitioners Know How to Overlook the Meaningless” and 2) “Miracles Practitioners Practice Accepting God’s Final Judgment.” I immerse and then I sleep. As I awaken I find that certain words or passages begin coming to me as if they are speaking to me, as if I have connected or am resonating with the words in some way. I woke up comforted with the words, “All that God would have me do, I can do.” “And now sit down in true humility, and realize that all God would have you do you can do.” (M-14.5:10) I centered myself in the thought all that God would have me do, I can do. In this recognition, a calm came over me and I was thinking, “Yes, I can do it.” I am capable of whatever this day calls for in me and whatever God calls me forth to do today. My usual ego-centered doubts and fears seemed far away and I felt so grateful in beginning this day. What beautiful words and it is even more profound to feel those words seep into my being. As I was reflecting, I found myself becoming quiet. “Learn to be quiet, for His Voice is heard in stillness. And His Judgment comes to all who stand aside in quiet listening and wait for Him.” (M-15.2:12-13) And as I sat in this process, I needed to return to the answer to, What is God’s final judgment? And I sat with the answer for awhile. “Holy are you, eternal, free and whole, at peace forever in the Heart of God.” (M-15.1:11) Knowing that I can do all that God would have me do,, I will practice listening to Holy Spirit today. I will practice being quiet and breathing into God’s Final Judgment. In all of this, I feel healing and transformation. I am gentle. I am free. A peace comes over me. Love at rest, yet it flows and manifests the essence of a Guiding Light, leading me to shine and be, ever so silently. Colleen McNally is a Pathways of Light student living in Crystal Lake, Illinois. Email: colleenmac64@hotmail.com |
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May 28th, I and seven other students were ordained as ministers of Pathways of Light. For me it was the culmination of a long journey from darkness into light; a journey of the prodigal son’s return Home to his Heavenly Creator. Like so many others, I had become disillusioned with the God of my childhood script Who was supposed to be loving but Who I falsely believed also created a world of pain, misery and suffering. It wasn’t until I started the ministerial program and started studying A Course in Miracles at Pathways of Light that I came to learn that God did not create this world of pain and misery; the ego did in its attempt to separate from God and usurp God’s function. I learned that in one moment of insanity, we bought into the ego’s story, joined with ego and fell into this dream we call the world, a dream of scarcity, lack, fear, doubt, disease, and death. We then tricked ourselves into believing God created this mess so we could blame Him instead of join with Him. It worked; I did blame God and I turned away from Him in anger and forgot who I was. In the dream searching for love, peace and purpose, I felt alone and in the desert, hungry and thirsting. I became a peace activist and for over twenty years tried to change a world that was not of God’s creation. Instead of peace, I found myself becoming angrier and more frustrated. I learned through studying ACIM that it isn’t the world I need to change but how I think about the world that needs to change. How could I see peace when I was consumed with angry thoughts and sought vengeance andblamed others out there for my unhappiness? At times I felt so desperately unhappy and depressed, I found myself frantically running to others in the belief that they could tell me how to find happiness. In short, I became a workshop junkie looking for gurus who could ‘show me the way.’ None of them told me I needed to change my thoughts and beliefs. No one told me that I had the Holy Spirit inside of me Who could heal my false beliefs and misperceptions and guide me to the truth of who I am in God’s Love. However, even though I thought I abandoned God, God never abandoned me. Before coming to Pathways of Light, I was led to teachers who started encouraging me to look for the answers inside. They tried to convince me that the peace of mind I was searching for was an inside job. I fought this for a long time even thought I was sinking more and more into darkness and despair. But Holy Spirit never gave up on me and one day in a state of desperation, I fell on my knees and said to whoever I thought might be up there, “God help me,” and He heard me. I remembered several years before moving to Wisconsin, meeting someone who talked about Pathways of Light in Kiel, Wisconsin which happened to be 30 minutes from where I lived, having moved from Chicago three and a half years ago. When we first moved, my husband David and I thought we were moving to help a friend build a Buddhist retreat center. When that didn’t happen, I sank into a dark hole of depression. But looking back I know that Holy Spirit had a perfect plan for me. So, one Sunday I just showed up at Pathways of Light not having a clue what it was about. But when I walked through the door embraced in the loving arms of one of its ministers, Lorretta, I knew I had come Home out of the darkness and into the Light. In preparing for the ministerial program, I was able to gently examine beliefs and thoughts from the past that no longer served me and release them through practicing forgiveness with the help of Holy Spirit who gave me a new way of seeing. I experienced Love in action at Pathways and came to know that we are all Love as God created us. A few weeks before doing the in-person part of the ministerial preparation, I experienced resistance coming up. With the help of my facilitator, Myron, I went to Holy Spirit to ask Him to help me through this. He told me that I was worthy of becoming a Teacher of God and worthy of teaching that only Love is real for that is who I AM. The in-person training with the seven other students and seven ministers was filled with joy and love. I learned and experienced God’s love for me and all my brothers is Real and eternal; it’s joyful; it’s unconditional. The love was expressed in many different ways — through silence, laughter, singing and learning to access our own Inner Wisdom. As the day of ordination approached, I noticed I was becoming increasingly nervous and panicky about making a presentation to express what my commitment meant to me. Again Holy Spirit came through as I joined with my facilitator, Myron, in doing my daily lessons from the Workbook of A Course in Miracles. Lesson 35, My mind is part of God’s; I am very holy; Lesson 36, My holiness envelops everything I see; Lesson 37, My holiness blesses the world; Lesson 38, There is nothing my holiness cannot do; Lesson 39, My holiness is my salvation; Lesson 40, I am blessed as a Son of God; and Lesson 41 God goes with me wherever I go. These lessons were perfect in helping me transform my false fear and speak with confidence about my commitment to be of service as a minister for God. The ordination ceremony was joyous, sharedtude to Pathways of Light for shining the Light for all who enter inviting us to join with our Creator and teach that only Love is Real for that is What we are. I do not know where I go from here but I am not alone; Holy Spirit will show me how I can be truly helpful and be of service. I Email: linwis@aol.com |
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As much as I thought I wanted to move in the direction of doing spiritual teaching, I went on for an entire year in my marketing job after becoming an ordained minister before I lifted a finger towards creating anything with it. I don’t know if I believed what I was telling myself that it just wasn’t time yet, that I hadn’t quite finished the marketing stint yet. Stress and overwork certainly have a way of modifying one’s perception of reality. By the end of our industry’s annual holiday busy season, I finally came to the point where I knew I’d had enough. Yet I didn’t understand how to deal with the knowledge. I guess the universe figured that if I were not ready to volunteer the discussion, it would have to be pulled out of me. One mid-October morning in a quiet side of a busy New Orleans hotel reception area, tired and drained from early days and late nights filled with business networking, my boss, John, sitting in the chair next to me, asked if there was something wrong; he noticed that I hadn’t been my normal cheerful self lately. Over the course of our five-year working relationship, John and I had built a pleasant friendship, and I couldn’t lie to him. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I expressed questions about how much longer I could continue to do this work when my life was calling for deeper meaning attached. ”Are you telling me that you want to leave?” ”No; I’m not really ready to talk about it at any depth. This is just how I am feeling.” ”Let’s make sure we talk before you come to any big decisions.” ”Okay.” Even though I wasn’t ready to come to any conclusions, I felt better after having had this exchange. John was such a gracious man and terrific boss that I felt guilty walking around pretending that I was enthused about my work. We both knew my heart wasn’t in the business anymore, and this, too, ate away at me. Not only did I feel I was cheating John, I was holding a position that rightfully could belong to someone who wanted the charge more than I. A week or two later, again before I felt prepared enough to visit the subject again in any kind of significant way, John stepped into my office, closed the door, and asked me what I had been thinking about since our talk that final morning in New Orleans. This became the kickoff to a number of evolving conversations over the next month. I felt very torn at this point. From an emotional perspective, I wanted to cut back to half time, knowing I wanted out as much as I could possibly structure it without giving up too much of my financial security. Once I voiced that, I experienced a fair amount of anxiety, asking myself ,“What the heck have I done?” This response was clearly a message that I wasn’t quite ready to cut the ties too deeply, and I suppose John was pretty much in the same space. We settled on a schedule where I gave up 20% of my compensation for a Monday through Thursday working week. Perfect. I started this new schedule at the first of the year, committing Fridays to writing. This arrangement was such a new and wonderful novelty that I was keenly aware to how I was responding to it. Besides cherishing the fact that I could take a walk through the glorious hills around my house at a time when I would normally feel chained to my desk, I recognized that my heart simply felt joyful, and my lusciously sacred Fridays set a peaceful and centered tone through the weekend. The challenging flip side to that, however, was that the long weekend joy became a bright mirror which reflected how I had opposite feelings about my Monday through Thursday experiences. I felt like I had two lives, one that I treasured, and one that dragged me down. Here I was a spiritual student who believed in the principles of faith and God so much that I felt called to teach them, yet I was completely unable to relax into the faith that I would be taken care of if I released the financial security of my well-paying marketing job. It was so clear how much I wanted out of the marketing job that I told a friend that the best thing that could happen to me was to get fired. Clearly I wanted the split to take place, yet I was looking at having someone other than myself make the decision to spare me any responsibility of having made a mistake. John and I agreed that we would wait until after the partner’s meeting, one week later, to announce to the staff that I was leaving. The day the news was let out was a very emotional one for me. I gathered my group in the conference room, already teary eyed myself, wondering how I would be able to hold it together. After all, I gave birth to the division, and those who now shared in its responsibilities were women I cherished. The work was often stressful and very busy, yet we respected and enjoyed each other. As I sat at the end of the long conference table with my team gathered on both sides near me, the tears flowed immediately when the message that I had resigned came out of my mouth. Funny how the universe had placed a box of tissues on the table within my reach, a spot I never noticed one to reside before. Once I’d taken this long-awaited leap of faith, there was absolutely no fear, no regrets, and this time, no “What have I done?” Instead I felt a smile in my heart, which I suspected was God’s gratitude and support. I sensed energy in motion around me that was preparing for my introduction to the teaching work that had lived inside of me for over twenty years. I also felt that I had claimed my life back, and I was very excited to think about creating each day for myself, with a strong confidence that each day would lead me forward towards a successful new stimulating career. I just needed to continue to believe in myself, hold strong to my deepening faith, and apply myself. I felt ready. Rev. Susan Hanshaw is a Pathways of Light minister who lives in San Rafael, California. Email: susanhanshaw@earthlink.net |
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