Pathways of Light Miracles News, 7/99 p. 1

Releasing False Belief • Partnering with MySelf • My Miracle Story with Mom • The Blessing with the Sleeping Bag • More Summer '99 Articles
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Miracles News Summer 1999

Releasing False Beliefs -- by Rev. Mary Manke

One of the first ‘teachers’ that I listened to had this bit of wisdom: “It is only your resistance to what is that causes you pain.” I find that it is my false self’s insistence that I need to ‘do’ something else to find happiness, that causes pain. The truth is that I need only to change my mind about what I value, what I invest in. I will never be happy, content, or satisfied if I choose to value these images I ‘see’ around me—because these images only represent separation thoughts. These images are like the images projected onto a movie screen. There is no true value in them. The fact is they are nothing—and I will never be happy by valuing nothing!

My insane thoughts are not me, but I can look at this insane thinking and move through it with the Holy Self guiding me, lighting the way. Instead of pushing the painful, fear-filled thoughts away from my awareness, I will look at them and, understanding the cause behind such thoughts, I will let them go. I let healing come to my mind as I learn from Holy Spirit, Who tells me all I need to know. I let go of my false perceptions, false ideas, false desires, and false dreams. False thoughts keep me preoccupied so that I do not see the light within—that always leads me away from false thinking into the unity of my True Self.

When I do not take the minutes to quiet my false thoughts, (which was the case recently as I was back at a seasonal job this spring) I feel very weary. I don’t give the time to allow the truth of my Holy Self to come into awareness. It seems I have only been aware of the thoughts of the false self, which is very unrestful, not to mention unhelpful to me. In fact, it is painful listening to the hurtful, crazy chatter of this self. It is meaningless. This empty thinking shows me a meaningless world. By forgetting that I can choose to listen to another Voice, I feel worn out, sore, hopeless, uninspired, and depressed. All this because I chose not to listen to Spirit, my Holy Self—what an insane way to learn!

I can choose to learn my lessons in a joyful way, not pain-filled. I’m very aware of the contrast between hurtful, false ideas and the peaceful, true ideas of Spirit. I’m beginning to understand that my false belief, that suffering makes me worthy, is not the truth. It is the opposite of truth. My suffering will not make me ‘better,’ more deserving, more ready or prepared for Love or Love’s purpose for me. I’m glad to see this ancient belief for what it is: Insane! Suffering or unhappiness only keeps me busy with more ego thoughts. It is a spiral that leads nowhere. With the insight of Holy Spirit, I learn how senseless and useless it is to continue a program of ‘suffering for benefit.’

With the love of my Holy Self, I learn I am innocent, safe, loved and home in God. With guidance of this loving Self, I learn that it is easy to let go of miscalculated, mistaken ideas. I allow the healing of Love to fill my mind. I allow the real Self to come forward as I let go of identifying with my false self.

I realize that I have been attempting to disengage my false self for many months. No wonder I’ve felt pulled one way and another. I would feel depressed when I’d hear all kinds of messages from ego that would tell me how ‘wrong’ I was or how I was a failure. This thought system is diligent and ingenious at keeping itself intact and implying that if I do let go of it, then there will be no ‘self.’ I will somehow cease to exist if I disavow my ego thoughts and it’s life style. This is what it wants me to believe, yet I am learning differently. I’m learning there is true life beyond the ego images of life. True living is to be free and aware of Love everywhere. True living is having given up the false beliefs and wishes of ego autonomy. This means I’m no longer concerned with gaining approval from others, for what I do or how I am. I no longer attempt to control every string, story, person, event, or circumstance in my daily dreaming. I no longer perceive others as threats to my safety, happiness, or living. I no longer allow rampant images to ‘run’ my life. As I watch my thoughts with Spirit, I learn I have no real thoughts apart from Love.

I thought I had to ‘control’ life to get rid of my pain (suffering). But to be free of suffering, I have only to give up the belief that suffering gains me any benefit. And because this was my past experience does not mean that I cannot choose differently now. My Holy Self has precedence, and with my little willingness, I will enjoy the joy and peace of Holy Self guiding my life. I cannot fail, I cannot lose, because I am not that false self.

(Post script) In ramping into the energy of the work place, I forgot that I still had choice, the choice between fear and love. In this mode of forgetfulness, my false self had me feeling lacking (no friends to talk with), purposeless (I wasn’t getting others to look at their job differently), guilty ( why wasn’t I changing other’s views?), worthless (it doesn’t matter what I do), and loveless (why didn’t I forgive them?). I was in the perfect place to be made aware of all these false concepts and judgments. But I was hypnotized by the pictures that were so familiar and still so hurtful. I wanted to be ‘right’ even when I asked Spirit’s help to see it differently, I wasn’t willing to give up the picture. I wasn’t willing to give or receive the gift that Holy Spirit brings with true letting go. Let me remember that to ‘be right’ is to not choose to be happy.

I am grateful now to be aware that these embedded concepts are false. I’m grateful to see where my mind needs healing. My ego does not want me to see truth. I am grateful to be reminded that what it believes about me is the exact opposite of the truth. Therefore, I am abundant, purposeful, innocent, worthy, and loving.

Partnering with MySelf -- by Rev. Therese Anne Ward

We had a disagreement, a serious disagreement as we both viewed it. We were on different sides of the fence. My perception was that I saw and knew the facts and he was mistaken for sure. What we were both missing was the human fact of different realities, that no two human egos have the same reality. And each of us was definitely arguing from our own ego perspective, defending our position.

It amazes me how quickly I change states of mind. I can be so in tune with God in the morning in solitude in meditation, lifting my heart beyond ego’s drama to oneness, only to find myself playing out the drama as soon as I’m with my spouse again. “God, what am I missing here?” Then I read the thought for today in Marianne Williamson’s perpetual calendar. June 8 -- “Our barriers to love are rarely consciously chosen. They are our efforts to protect the places where the heart is bruised.” Of course. When I argue, I’m protecting my ego’s bruised places. I know it’s only who I think I am that gets hurt. My True Self cannot be messed with; always was, always will be and always remains the same God creation.

So then I read A Course in Miracles Text, page 136, "The State of Grace," where paragraph 3, line 11 says, “You who could give the Love of God to everything you see and touch and remember, are literally denying Heaven to yourself.” Now I have no defense. There it is, the Light shining between my eyes; truth. I cannot ignore it. I asked for it. I begin to see that, when I’m in my drama and arguing my position, I’m literally denying Heaven to myself in that moment. I could give the Love of God (which I am) to everything I see and touch and remember. I emphasize remember, because now I understand that everything I defend comes from PAST remembered ego hurts. In this PRESENT moment, I could choose to give the Love of God in remembered Truth to this Light Being, who is my every own Self. And so I say, under my breath as I stand facing my spouse from my side of the fence, “Give me your blessing holy Son of God,” (ACIM, Workbook Lesson 161) and thus I know my perfect sinlessness.

I must say, that in those rare moments when I in-deed do that, I do enter Heaven and my spouse with me. In such “holy instants” of sanity when I taste Heaven, always already given me and everyone, I become truth, I become joy, I become love. Experiencing that is more than enough to yoke my desire to God. And in this desire, I see Christ’s vision of this Christ Being masquerading as my spouse, defenses and all, and mySelf masquerading as his wife, judgments and all. Holy belly laughter at such divine comedy. Such irreverence we extensions of God seemingly do to each other. It’s to laugh at. Thank you, God. Thank you.

My Miracle Story with Mom -- by Rev. Christine Anderson

I have just returned to Pathways after a month’s visit in Chicago. Some of the time I had the wonderful opportunity to be with my mother. Since I am working with mind training and letting go of what doesn’t serve in my thought system, I’ve been able to take more of an observer’s view of my experience in this world.

My mother is a very loving person, very kind and thoughtful. She is very satisfied with her life and she doesn’t need a lot of interaction with others around her. She loves God and she loves herself. So at the beginning of my visit this time with her, I noticed thoughts in my mind like, “Why doesn’t she talk to me? I wonder what she is thinking.” I noticed an old pattern that linked me to my youth where the same mom, busy with her household work and her own issues, was not very available for interaction at that time. When I was a child, I adapted to this, as a child does.

As an adult using the ego as my guide, I reviewed my childhood and decided that either I must not have been very interesting, that something was wrong with me, or my mother just didn’t love me. I used this grievance as a judgment against myself and against my mother. I carried this made up story throughout my life, thinking that it was true.

Now I know that my thoughts are very powerful and that my thoughts make my experience. (A real experience when I’m holding hands with Spirit, and an experience of no content that brings me no contentment, when I hold hands with the ego.) So this made up story was my reality—it was true for me because of my choice of beliefs. I then repeatedly chose relationships with the unconscious thought of resolving the painful experience that came from this belief. By choosing similar scenarios, I was continually recreating the problem to solve it, but perpetuating it because the underlying belief was still the same: I wasn’t lovable. So I kept creating unloving situations.

Now I know that love was always present. Love was all that was ever happening. I now know that where this world view originally started was from the insane projection that God doesn’t listen to me and doesn’t hear my call for love and attention and won’t communicate with me. So I played this same story over and over, like in the movie Groundhog Day. When I awaken to Love, the separation story is over! I need to remember I am the director and producer of the movie that I am watching on the screen of the world. I am learning that I can change the movie by changing my beliefs. My experience of all the players, be they happy or sad, is in direct accordance with the thoughts that I am projecting from the projection room of my mind. My dream becomes a happy one when I am extending Love. I am experiencing our Oneness, not focusing on differences.

As I took to the journey of mind training or healing my mind through A Course in Miracles, the golden key was handed to me by the Holy Spirit. When I choose to live in illusion, my false beliefs will not be taken away against my wishes. It is only when I let go willingly of what doesn’t serve me that Spirit can undo what never happened. As I let go of the original grievance, the grievance against myself that I seemingly turned my back on God and sought out specialness, I am more easily able to forgive the grievances against others that have really been my own projections.

Everyone on the bridge of return to their true Spiritual Nature is in the perfect place for their own understanding—safe, loved and cherished by a loving Creator. The whole bridge of return to Love is saturated with unconditional Love. No matter how I perceive another person through the screen of my past, all that is ever true of all of us is that we are Love and nothing else.

In this dream, we all seem to have different needs, but that doesn’t have to separate us. My Mother has modeled to me a person who is satisfied and happy with her life, just the way it is. Now I can sit in the same room with her and we can be silent in a worldly sense and our Spirit’s communicate in a silence filled with delightful messages from Spirit. I hear Holy Spirit say to me, “Christine, I am with you and I am with your mother.” I know I love my mom and I know she loves me. This has always been true. Contentment reigns. There is only peace. I now hear the Voice that was always there. It was only the grievances that I held against myself that interfered with my listening. Now the pathway of communication is getting clearer and stronger with my willingness to practice forgiveness and let go of all greviences.

In this visit with my mother, where at first I questioned our communication level, I had the opportunity to practice staying in peace and listening for the Voice that is always there. As I did this, I experienced the miracle that brought a change of perception. I saw that my mother and I are the same Self.

I felt ‘nudged’ by Spirit to ask my mom if she had been able to forgive the disappointment I thought I had been to her. You see, some of the choices I made in my life resulted in calamities. She thought a moment and answered me with, “All I could do was let you go.” Obviously my mom had not held a grievance against me. I had held a grievance all these years against myself. I had judged myself so harshly about perceived wrongs. My mom had let me go. To me that is forgiveness. Somehow she knew she had done all she could with a rebellious, self-willed child. She knew intuitively that I’d experience what I needed to and trusted that it would all turn out all right.

I see this as symbolic of God always knowing the truth about me. A truth I share with you beloved reader. We are all Love and nothing else! In reality, we are giving and receiving this message all day long through Holy Spirit’s holy ‘innernet’ and we are all on God’s innernet, extending love and light eternally. That’s really great!

You can email Christine at: revhappywoman@pathwaysoflight.org

The Blessing with the Sleeping Bag -- by Rev. Kevin L. Fields

May 12th, 1999, a beautiful spring day in the Ozarks -- the kind of day that one sees in a French impressionist painting, with surreal colors everywhere, and just a hint of summer in the air. My grandson and I had just made the trip across the Boston Mountain range between Fayetteville and Fort Smith, Arkansas. He was coming to stay with me for a couple of days at my home, and I had already begun to open my mind to the world as I remember a three year old does. In fact, I’d like to believe that in some way we all remember the world the way that we saw it when we were three years old.

As Donovan and I were driving over the mountains, we were engaged in a lively conversation about the beauty of the scenery. Much to my surprise, he was making comments that continued to jog my memory, re-minding me that the world of the three year old is a world in which anything is possible. As anyone who has been around small children can attest, the love and wonder of that age is contagious. It’s as if their Lights are so bright that others around them cannot help but shine with just a little more intensity. And I was shining with extra energy that afternoon, the energy of Love, the energy of Life.

I had made the decision to do a little shopping before going home that day. Donovan loves to help me cook whenever he comes to visit, and we needed some groceries in the house. I also wanted to stop at the local WalMart and pick up a few of the other necessities. With that in mind, my idyll in the mountains ended, and Donovan and I pulled into the WalMart parking lot. The store, as usual, was a center of seemingly aimless activity, with people in competition for parking spaces close to the main entrance. Entire families were there, huddled groups out for a celebration of capitalism. I suppose Donovan and I were no different at that moment, as he exclaimed, “Appaw WalMart!” with a giggle and a smile. ('Appaw' is his way of saying 'grandpa.') I smiled back at him, validating his enthusiasm, and thought to myself how blessed I was to be in his company. Capitalism or not, we would enjoy this time together, in a world apart, a community unto itself where the masses come for a bargain and a brief escape from everyday life.

Into the fray we went, grabbing a shopping cart and dodging those who had stopped mid-isle to chat about the current events of the day. You know, the upcoming prom, graduation, the fishing tournament, Aunt Millie’s gout. A place to stop and discuss life’s events of the moment, mid-isle, oblivious to the world.

Donovan was smiling at me as I hoisted him into the child seat in the basket and when he was certain he was situated, he began to look all around at the other people in the store. As soon as he made eye contact with anyone else, I saw the walls of separation between individual lives fall. Unafraid, he would begin a discourse with whomever he had eye contact with. As I watched, I felt amazed and in awe at how Love, unafraid in this small child, just reached out and touched everyone who came near. Intellectually, I know that this is true with every small child on the planet, not just my grandson. But to feel it in my heart reminded me that it is we, the adults of the world, who believe that the walls of individual lives are impenetrable and insurmountable. Yet, those we consider the least of us, the children, remember and know that there is really only One of us.

We finished our shopping and upon making our way to the check out counter, Donovan asked me to put him down out of the shopping cart, which I did post haste. As I was paying for our purchase, I heard Donovan talking with the worker at the check out next to us and before I knew what had happened, he was helping her bag items for her customer. Again, at that moment, there was only Love in the store, as witnessed by the smiles of every adult nearby, testimony to the antics of a small boy. Calling to him, we headed out of the store to a chorus of “Good-byes” coming from all sides. Stepping into the beauty of the day, I silently thanked God for the Blessing. What I didn’t know was in that instant another blessing of Love was at hand waiting for us. And that is what this story is truly about.

As we walked out into the parking lot, smiling and laughing, I noticed two men engaged in what appeared to be a serious conversation close to our parked car. One of the men looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties, with a white pressed ‘western’ style shirt, pressed blue jeans, and ‘Roper’ style boots on his feet. The other man also looked to be in his twenties or thirties, but he was disheveled, wearing dirty brown dungarees, and a faded blue pocket ‘T’ shirt. On his feet were black canvas shoes which were obviously well worn, and he was carrying a sleeping bag rolled into a tight bundle.

The man in the jeans was saying something to the other man, I could not tell what, all the while vigorously shaking his head no. The other man seemed to be taking it all in with resignation. His gaze was cast downward as if he were trying to escape from the barrage of words which seemed to be like cannon shots fired into his heart. The man in the boots abruptly turned his back on the other, and literally jumped into his pickup truck and sped away. The man with the sleeping bag followed him with his eyes and for a moment I could sense a deep sorrow emanating from him. Not sorrow for himself, but the kind of sorrow that comes with the realization of opportunity lost.

He looked up in the direction where Donovan and I were and slowly began walking toward us. At that moment, I had begun to put our small purchase into the trunk of our car. As I was doing this, I looked back and my eyes locked with his, and my heart was touched by Love. As he came near, I noticed that his face was clear, and his eyes bright. He stood about 5 feet 8 inches tall with light brown skin and pure, clear hazel eyes. His hair was cut to moderate length, and his smile was intoxicating.

He moved to within three feet in front of me, came to a deft stop, and spoke to me in a voice which was soft and eloquent, belying his ragged appearance. With the words he spoke, I felt love come pouring forth into my heart. “Good afternoon, sir,” was the phrase that he used, “How are you and your grandson today?” I felt a quickening of my breath as the shock of his knowledge about Donovan and I sunk in. “Very blessed” was my quick reply. Then he continued, “I’ve been traveling on the road from Arizona and got off the highway hoping to find a meal. I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday, and when I went to the McDonald’s across the street, no one would help me. I have no money, and I am very hungry. Could you please help a brother soul out with a meal?”

As I stood there listening to him speak, I was transfixed by the honesty which was pouring forth from him. His eyes spoke to my heart of gentleness and Love as they twinkled with compassion, the kind which is born and raised in the hard experiences that this life sometimes brings.

My mind reeled back to days past, when I was him and he was me. I began to recall a legend from ancient Greece which eventually became the law of that land so long ago. Strangers were never turned down or away, for the Greeks believed that their gods might come down from Olympus at any time and present themselves in human form, to see how humankind was treating one another. As this memory went through my mind, coupled with the memory of the many who have helped me along the way, my decision was made and carried. I reached out my hand and gently touched his shoulder, and he did the same to me.

I told him to be careful, warning him of the local police and their policies, and bade him to eat his fill. He looked deeply into my eyes, smiling a knowing smile and said, “God bless you sir!” My reply was that He just had. He turned to walk away, and I had the impression that I had just been in the presence of a Divine Soul, come to earth that beautiful May afternoon.

Donovan had remained strangely quiet during the entire experience, only smiling and growing ‘brighter and brighter.’ Looking down into the trunk of my car to make sure that I had presence of mind to put our purchase away, I had the urge to look at the man one last time.

I looked into the direction he had gone, scanning up and down the road for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. It was as if Heaven had opened up and he has stepped through to that place where we all come from and all go to. Perhaps one the of gods of old Greece, or an angel had indeed visited that parking lot. Of that I’m not sure. But what I do know is this: In that moment in time there was no separation between my self and the Soul which stood before me. The illusion of separateness had been shattered and all was One, joined by Love.

I put Donovan in his car seat, and as I walked around the car and got in, the words of our Elder Brother, Jesus, rang true and clear in my mind, “What you do to the least of my brothers, you also do unto me...” and a sensation I can only describe as Love, began to spread from my chest to fill the entire car. Donovan looked over at me and with his warm smile said, “Appaw, I love you.” I cried silently, and with a tear moving down my cheek, thanked God and the man in the parking lot with the sleeping bag, for the rich blessing that had been given to me and my grandson, that warm spring day. We never know when our “angels” may appear. Are we available to be there? I’d like to believe so.

The ideas represented herein are the personal interpretation and understanding of the author(s) and are not necessarily endorsed by the copyright holder of A Course in Miracles.

Releasing False Belief • Partnering with MySelf • My Miracle Story with Mom • The Blessing with the Sleeping Bag • More Summer '99 Articles