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Study of Text, Chapter 13:III. The Fear of Redemption, P 9. 7-5-16

III. The Fear of Redemption, P 9

Journal
Wow! Love cannot enter where there is one spot of fear to mar its welcome. That is an uncompromising statement. So if I insist on seeing my neighbor as nosy and bossy, I have blocked the flow of love and I have prevented complete healing. It seems like such a small thing, so unimportant. I hardly ever see my neighbor and think of her even less, and certainly I don’t express any antagonism toward her. But that dark thought is in my mind and because I have not opened it to light, I have barred the Holy Spirit from that place, and I am not healed.

So now I am going to change my mind about that. I listened to this neighbor talk and make demands and I asked the ego what that meant. The ego and I are now joined in this decision, how I see my neighbor and how I respond to her. What I am going to do instead is to cancel that decision and all that came with it, and I am going to be in union with the Holy Spirit instead. The Holy Spirit will be my adviser and together we will join in a different decision making process.

I haven’t given my neighbor much thought and have not become deeply attached to my decision about her, so it is not hard to do this. I readily choose to see the Christ in this woman and am happy to do it. Some other decisions I have made with the Holy Spirit are harder to walk away from. I am deeply invested in the previous decision made with ego and so I have to gently extricate myself from it.

My son was in the hospital recently and I worry about him. This is a dark spot in my mind that I bring to the light, then hide away again. I have been pulling it out and putting back for a long time now. He has had a lot of physical challenges and so it stays on my mind. Here is what is happening. I think of his problems and I feel afraid for him. I tell myself it is a mother’s love, but it is an attack on him.

Every worry thought is an attack on his perfection, and an attack on God Who created him perfect. Every thought is a prayer and so my thought that he is vulnerable and fragile is a prayer that he be vulnerable and fragile. That can’t be love. It is certainly not light. I gladly offer these thoughts to the Holy Spirit right now and I ask that He join with me in a new vision of my son.

Here is a new prayer that I say each time I forget and turn to the ego mind for an interpretation of what is happening to my son. I think this prayer often in between attacks, too, as it helps me to remember to join with Spirit in every decision about how I feel about my son.

My prayer is a visualization more than words. I see him standing with friends and throwing back his head in laughter. He is glowing from within and I know it is his holiness that I see. I know that there is nothing his holiness cannot do. I join my holiness with his and our holiness envelopes the world. I am saving him from his illusions that I may accept the magnitude of my Father in peace and joy.

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