January-March, 2009
Having spent my whole life living on Long Island, just outside New York City, spending this Thanksgiving in the American heartland of Iowa was a truly unique experience and one that I will never forget. My 26 year old son, Kevin, has been living there for the past 5 months, and it was there that my wife, Laura, and I experienced the joy of a true miracle that comes from turning all problems over to the One Who knows the Truth.
You see, after an outstanding high school career and earning an athletic scholarship to the University of Massachusetts, Kevin fell into the depths of drug addiction over a six year period that eventually resulted in the intravenous abuse of heroin. Despite many efforts including interventions, in-patient and out-patient rehabs, addiction psychologists, AA and NA meetings, the strength of this disease over Kevin overpowered any attempts to battle it. When one is actively addicted to heroin, one feels no option but to get the drug by any means necessary. Going a day without a fix is really not an option. As a result, the levels to which he could stoop to obtain the drug appeared to have few limits.
As a parent, any insecurity that I ever held about myself would surface as I agonized over what I did wrong to have my son plunge to such depths. Didn’t I teach my son the proper values that would build character, discipline, and personal responsibility? Was my divorce from his mom a cause of this? Was I too lenient in his most formative years? Did I not serve as a good example that he would want to emulate? Eventually, after attending Al-Anon meetings for a while, I learned that: I didn’t cause it; I can’t cure it; I can’t control it. What I had learned from my study of ACIM was that I could turn this over to the Holy Spirit or what AA refers to as my Higher Power. His addiction got worse but my ability to put the Holy Spirit in charge got stronger. It is then that a miracle takes place.
With Kevin at his lowest point, his 41 year old 3rd cousin, Rob, from Iowa visited NY last summer after taking a break from the flood damage that had devastated his family’s property. This beautiful man, this ex-marine, offered Kevin a way out of hell. “Come to Iowa,” he said. “You need to detox and get in a 28 day rehab program there. And after that, providing that you dedicate yourself to 90 meetings in 90 days, you can live with me and help me with the flood clean up.” Somehow Kevin realized that jail, insanity, or death were his only other options. He went to Iowa with Rob.
It’s now been 5 months of sobriety for Kevin. Everything has changed. He has dedicated himself to his 12 step program and with the help of his sponsor is determined to stay in recovery. He has the beginnings of the belief in his Higher Power and is filled with gratitude for all the people who have helped and forgiven him, particularly in his darkest hours. He is working waiting tables and is enrolled again in college. He continues to help Rob with the flood damage. He is happy, healthy, and lives with two loving people who helped save his life.
We ate Thanksgiving dinner at Rob’s house in Iowa with 34 of the nicest, kindest Iowans - all of us holding hands before the meal and expressing individually all we have to be thankful for. I knew that I was experiencing the love of a “miracle.”
Rev. Larry Glenz is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Island, New York.
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