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Accepting Change with Love and Gratitude

by Rev. Cheryl Ford

This past year has really proved to be quite a profound time for me at this stage in my life. With all of the changes of leaving the United States and moving to a new country, I thought the extent of transitional life adjustments couldn’t be stretched much further. But I’m currently finding that this is not the case…

When I arrived in the United Kingdom last year it was not alone. My husband and two children came with me. I guess I should emphasize that my two ‘children’ are really adult age and came along as an expense paid opportunity to travel and learn from the ‘school of life.’ Our time together abroad has been wonderful, but now it seems to be coming to an end.

My daughter has decided that she misses her life back in the states and wants to permanently return to be with her friends and go back to college. My son is now 22 and is also ready to fly the coop and seek his fame and fortune in the world of form. I don’t blame them. Growing up and eventually starting a life of your own is natural and expected.

This is where I am currently learning one of the biggest developmental and spiritual lessons of my life — letting go. But it’s not as easy as it may seem. There are many twists and turns along the way and lessons galore! At first, I thought I would never be able to come to terms with my ‘babies’ leaving home for the first time, but now I’m finding that I’m actually looking forward to it.

For a long time I looked at my children as helpless; needing me for food and sustenance; unable to fend for themselves in a cold cruel world. How could they possibly survive on their own? Further compounding my doubts and fears was the idea of suddenly being alone with my husband for the first time in 22 years. Would we still have anything in common?

At this point in my life I would no longer be the maiden or the mother, but the crone! What if I ended up with feelings of meaninglessness and depression? I believe that is what psychologists call the “empty nest syndrome.”

Then, the not so pretty reality of day-to-day ‘caring for teen or adult children syndrome’ kicked-in. I started growing weary of picking up hair curlers and bobby-pins from the floor in front of the television, and washing mountains of half used bath towels. Not to mention the dissipating appeal of cooking meal after family meal into seeming eternity, and watching my hair grow gray waiting in line for computer, phone and bathroom time.

Slowly but surely my fears have subsided and I am beginning to realize the potential highs of having my children leave home! However the biggest help of all has come through the loving lessons of A Course in Miracles. I am reminded that all relationships are made holy when given over to Spirit to serve the purpose of love and forgiveness. But once that purpose is fulfilled, we may often seem to part ways. In truth, however, there is only oneness so we are never really separate.

I am also called to remember that my children are not small, frail, helpless beings in a big, scary world. Instead they are powerful, limitless Beings of Light fully capable of extending love and joy into whatever they do, wherever they are, always safe and cared for in the loving hands of our Heavenly Father!

Finally, Spirit reminds me that ‘love is the way I walk in gratitude.’ I am honored and thankful for having had the chance to experience so much giving and receiving of love in this lifetime.

The lessons of forgiveness and patience have been too numerous to mention, and the gifts of happiness and peace shared within our family arrangement has offered me amazing opportunities for spiritual growth.

Now, rather than feeling sad and uncertain when I think about my life without raising children, I think about the potential and flexibility of being more independent for the first time in many years, and I wonder what Holy Spirit will call me to experience next on our great path of awakening…

Rev. Cheryl Ford is a Pathways of Light minister living in Birmingham, England. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways of Light web site. Web site: http://www.awakentothelight.org

© 2007, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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