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October-December, 2021

Forgiveness

by Rev. Joyce Peebles, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

I have enjoyed reading about the lives of Bill Thetford and Helen Schucman who first took down A Course in Miracles. They were not religious beforehand, and their egos were just like anyone else’s. There existed bitterness in their relationship and among their colleagues.

Carol Howe, who wrote Never Forget to Laugh, a biography of Bill, relates his first attempt to use ACIM to heal a relationship in the office. Art was co-chair with Bill of the Medical Psychology Department at Columbia University. Over disputes about Helen, they had got to the point of not speaking at all.

Bill decided to use the Course material on forgiveness to heal the strife with Art. This was Bill’s very first attempt to actually practice forgiveness.

Bill knew that every morning before the workday began Art would be in his office reading the newspaper. Bill went into Art’s office and sat in a chair for months saying nothing but good morning and waiting with no response from Art. This was done for months!

One day Bill had a meeting and did not show up in Art’s office to sit. Later that day Art contacted Bill asking why he had not come; that was the beginning of their speaking again.

Things got better from then on. They did not rehash the past. Bill simply followed what the Course said about practicing forgiveness, namely “it merely looks, and waits, and judges not.”

What astounds me is Bill’s willingness to do exactly what it said.

I know my ego. I feel convicted to practice forgiveness of my brother. My ego, though, after a couple of attempts stops, is discouraged, and says “this did not work” because I did not get the response I wanted. I wanted to control the other person’s behavior.

Bill kept practicing forgiveness everyday for months. The lesson is clear that my half-hearted attempts at forgiveness were conditional on the other person responding how I thought they should quickly. After all I made the first move. Practicing forgiveness is exactly that, practicing.

I know someone who barely speaks to me. He holds a grievance and does not live in the same state. To call him at work everyday might seem like harassment.

Holy Spirit has let me know that nothing is stopping me from sending him Love in my Mind everyday sincerely. I will not have a chair in his office to sit in, but starting today I am willing to sincerely see him as innocent and send Love expecting nothing. Nothing “out there” needs to change, for there is nothing “out there.”

“Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin.” (W-pII.1.1:1-3)

The ego says how can this be so? The Course says:

“The world you see is but a judgment on yourself. It is not there at all. Yet judgment lays a sentence on it, justifies it and makes it real. Such is the world you see; a judgment on yourself and made by you. This sickly picture of yourself is carefully preserved by the ego, whose image it is and which it loves, and placed outside you in the world.” (T-20.III.5:2-5)

My goal is not to cater to my ego. It is to remove the obstacles to peace by practicing forgiveness. I am learning not to analyze the past. Focusing on the present and what is true is helpful. Somebody else does not need to change to make my ego feel better. I will follow the guidance provided, knowing who goes with me, for it is not an illusion that Jesus holds my hand.

© 2021, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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