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January-April, 2024

Goals

by Rev. Joyce Peebles, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

I recently read a lesson and reread the comments I had made the year before. I concluded I had not made much progress on how I was perceiving my projections. I am still projecting guilt on someone outside of my mind. Therefore, I am still finding value in judgment. I still think anger is justified at times. I am still entertaining the idea that I am a victim, in short, this ego/ body self I see as Me.

My only function is to recognize this is a lie. That’s it. To accept the atonement for myself. This is done by knowing I am not this ego-body character, neither is anyone in my projections. Reality is I have no difficulties, anger is never justified, and peace can be recognized if I want to enough. I alone have caused my misery. Nobody needs to change because there is no world “out there.” Jesus tells me when I decided to reject love and wanted to be a separated individual, I also decided to invent goals I think I now need.

Goal #1: I need to somehow be good enough because I am not. I observe myself attempting to do well in a job, being a parent, as a spouse, playing bridge, etc. There is nothing wrong with any of these activities except when I ask myself, “What has that got to do with me?”

Reality is that I am not this character in the story of Joyce. I hear the ego saying that I do not measure up. I perceive myself as criticized, embarrassed, and even ashamed. It is as if I would be more worthy if I was “successful” in these areas.

Goal #2: I must make myself safe. This includes financial security, illness, fear from loneliness, etc. In other words, I see myself as vulnerable. It’s a scary world I invented.

Goal #3: I must keep lying to myself.
I need to keep searching endlessly for things in the world to alleviate my pain. If I just have the things the ego says,  I will be happy. And never, above all else look inside with the Holy Spirit and believe that my lies are false. If I did, I would have to confront my fear that my pain is caused by my false beliefs that I have made-up.

There is a part of me that knows real Love and peace is what I am. Experiencing this state requires cleansing my mind through diligently looking non-judgmentally at my thoughts and projections and accepting that I am choosing them to keep Love from my awareness once again.

”The Holy Spirit will direct you only so as to avoid pain. Surely no one would object to this goal if he recognized it. The problem is not whether what the Holy Spirit says is true, but whether you want to listen to what He says. You no more recognize what is painful than you know what is joyful, and are, in fact, very apt to confuse the two. The Holy Spirit’s main function is to teach you to tell them apart.” (T-7.X.3:1-5)

I am aware I have made some progress. There are those days though, when I fall back into my ego thinking and cause myself suffering. I see myself peeling back another layer of the onion and there are still more to go.

To negate the progress I have made because I am not where I want to be yet is foolish. I need to take my own advice of being kind and patient, not only to others but towards myself. One thing is certain: I cannot fail to awaken from this dream and know my true Self.

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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