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Letting Go of the Need to Understand

by Rev. Larry Glenz

I know that many people believe that God has abandoned them when they suffer the tragic loss of a loved one. After turning to Holy Spirit during the seven years that my son, Kevin, battled with an opiate addiction, he relapsed again and died last winter of an overdose at the age of 27.

The question often asked in such a situation by the loved ones left behind is, “How could God let this happen?” My understanding of ACIM teaches me that God didn’t let it happen. The metaphysics of the Course explain that it never happened. But while I remain in this dream of the human condition, I need Holy Spirit to help me with this. I turned to Holy Spirit consistently throughout his years of addiction, his efforts at recovery, and his relapses. The answers that I received from Spirit were also consistent.

In different ways Holy Spirit said, “Love him anyway. You don’t know what Kevin needs to go through. Release all judgment, condemnation, and fear. Offer help but don’t try to shame him or use guilt to get him to change.” Sometimes I followed Holy Spirit’s advice; but often I was too scared to listen and used whatever leverage I had to force him into rehab and recovery. It didn’t work.

Heroin addiction forces the addict to constantly lie and steal in order to keep getting high. The compulsion to get high overcomes his love and respect for family, friends, and especially himself. At those times, it was difficult to see the innocence of that Child of God. And today, it is difficult to see how his death could be for the greater good. Certainly, there is much I don’t understand for I cannot conceive of the “Big Picture” here.

Nevertheless, since his passing, I have been inundated with the love of so many people. This love has come my way in many different forms; but this flow of love has been constant. I no longer feel the terror that I often felt during the years of his addiction. In fact, Kevin’s love is always with me in my heart and mind.

I am very grateful to Holy Spirit for this ability I have to feel Kevin’s love and his guidance as I go through my day. Talking to Kevin and communicating with Holy Spirit seem the same to me now, although my words are much more irreverent when I think it is Kevin to whom I speak.

I realize there is no way that I can understand what is for the greater good. But ACIM has taught me some things that I can experience. I have been taught that in every situation, only the love is real; and I have been able to experience great love from so many people since Kevin’s death.

And when I cry and have my moments of deep sadness, I sometimes hear Kevin’s voice say, “Hey Dad, you know better. That whole story was never true. Only the love we shared was real.” And I can answer with certainty, “Yes, Kevin, I know better.” And I feel gratitude for this experience.

And I will let go of my need to try to understand how this could all be for the greater good. My perceived need to know is one of the ego’s best tricks. But my only function is to let go and let God.

Rev. Larry Glenz is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Living in the World While Waking Up

by Rev. Peggy Booth

I’m in the middle of doing the Pathways of Light Miracles Studies Course 910: “Living in the World While Waking Up.” Part of why I was drawn to this course is my trying to make sense of my employment situation which is seemingly getting more complex and daunting all the time.

Today as I bicycled to work, I though about the ACIM lesson I’m doing today — Lesson 72, “Holding grievances is an attack on God’s plan for salvation,” which suggests saying “What is salvation, Father? I do not know. Tell me that I may understand.” I said a version of this over and over as I biked along — except I didn’t remember it exactly and what came to mind was “Having resentments is an attack on God’s plan for salvation.” And of course the situations annoying me at work loomed in my mind. So I’d say to myself; “What’s salvation?” And before long, what clearly came is, “I cannot be but in the right place at the right time.” Why this? I kept wondering over and over what this means for me. “I do not know.” Yet, at least, I was having a lovely bike ride.

And so, I resumed this thought when I left work this evening — having an even lovelier bike ride with a tail wind. Today, what would appear to be a catastrophe in my program at work decidedly got worse. There is a landowner’s perspective and a department leadership perspective in relation to something I am responsible for. It’s a fundamental difference in perspective and value. No solution or common ground seems possible. It’s just another intractable problem that has fallen in my lap.

Yet, as I started my bike ride home, I wasn’t in the least angry or fearful or upset at all. I was a bit saddened having heard the pain and anger on each side. But, all-in-all I was in a very good mood recognizing that this is only a dream — a very insane one at that.

Then, out of the blue, the thought of Lucille Ball and the “I Love Lucy Show” came to me. I have never liked that series and have avoided watching any episodes because Lucy was always getting herself into such terrible messes. There would always be so many noisy outbursts and so much drama. She’d connive and dig herself into a deeper hole as she’d try to solve one problem, only to get into another and make matters worse. Such situations — even on TV — make me very uncomfortable. There’s nothing funny about them, I would think.

It simultaneously came to me that this whole issue at work is like a ridiculous comedy — but this time I’m laughing along. I am supposed to be here in this job now to see it as that. Also, I can be the actor like Lucille Ball. In my case, rather than playing the serious, earnest, work-is-so-important role I call Margaret, I can instead (even perhaps looking and seeming the same) play a role of a new character I’ll call Margie who always follows an ACIM script. Margie’s role would be to recognize it’s a dream, see everyone as the same holy child of God, be in the now, let go and turn it over, etc. Today I was a good listener and that’s part of it. I also didn’t take anything personally which was helpful too.

As I rode along, I explicitly tried to connect heart-to-heart with the landowner, our division director, and to myself and the two younger guys who also seem caught in the middle, saying “This is only a dream. There is nothing to fear, and no reason to be angry or guilty. You’re doing just fine.” I kept extending love and enjoying myself in the now. Nonetheless, I observed again and again, my ego trying to pull me back into stewing on “the problem.” Over and over, I caught this, refused to get sucked in, and returned to extending love, smiling, noticing the blue sky, the beautiful day and the wind at my back.

At some point, it occurred to me that the reason that these seeming intractable, dramatic problems happen and why I’m in the right place at the right time is that Holy Spirit is so obviously showing me how insane this dream we’re in really is. There is absolutely nothing I could ever do in the world of form to make things right and to resolve or avoid all problems. One is solved and another will always appear.

Being right here, right now in my job is making it very easy to be willing to let go – it is so very insane. Thanks for such clarity, Holy Spirit. I just keep smiling and chuckling to myself when I recognize this. Yet, I recognize not everyone is here. In the play called “my job”, Margie doesn’t need to say to others: “get over it, it’s only a dream.” Instead, her role (my job) is to be kind, gentle, respectful, and to extend love.

Ego may find ways to exploit this and turn such innocence upside down and manufacture unintended consequences. But, I’m not afraid of saying without any guilt, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake. What can I do for you?” I will just keep focusing on the now, turning things over, seeing everyone as one and perfect inside, remembering it’s a dream, just doing what needs to be done in the moment without fuss or worry, letting go of outcomes, and walking out work’s door everyday with a smile on my face and leaving it all behind.

So, today, this is how I will “live in the world while waking up.”

Rev. Peggy Booth is a Pathways of Light minister living in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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The One About Peace

by Rev. Stephan Mead

After spending a day in seclusion at my family’s farm cabin, an hour driving and a short ferryboat ride away from Seattle, I realized what I was looking for — Peace! What a fabulous word! It even sounds attractive. Why do I always end up thinking peace has either been withheld, or denied to me? Or, that for some strange reason, I just have to suffer a little while longer and then I can enjoy peace. As I sat out on the porch surveying the acres and acres of ready to cut alfalfa, watching several deer wandering through the pasture, I experienced one of those rare (for me) moments when my mind was just quiet.

Along with the warmth of the sun, the sensation of peace literally enveloped me. “This must be what the Course is talking about” I thought. Time was standing still; I had the strong feeling that all was well with everything. After about eleven seconds, my ego kicked in and assured me that to believe living with the thought of peace was not only impossible, but also so selfish and self-centered, I should be ashamed to even want peace. Examples after examples were quickly provided of past misdeeds, some recent and some from long ago, proving why I should not be enjoying peace of mind.

I remembered reading, one cannot get rid of the ego, but it is possible to not value its counsel. I discovered that day, it was possible! I sat back in my chair and just stopped thinking. I’m smiling right now even writing about it! The Course has much to say about peace. I recently read through the text again, starting with the thought that what I was reading was a love story from God to me. What story could God share other than love? And, if God shares all, and He only shares Love, then Love must be all there Is. Who wouldn’t experience peace with those thoughts! “There is a way of living in the world that is not here, although it seems to be.” (ACIM Workbook Lesson 155) What if living in peace was as simple as listening to a love story all day?

Rev. Stephan Mead is a Pathways of Light minister living in Seattle, Washington.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Comparisons

by Rev. Joanne Kraenzle Schneider

Comparisons have been floating through my mind and disturbing my peace.  I compare my friend’s sporty car to my less desirable “old lady” car, others’ exotic vacations to my weekend retreat vacations, my friend’s perceptions of the world to what I perceive about the world. I even compare what people think to what the Course teaches!

The list of comparisons continues without my knowing it, in the background of my mind. But recently, as though I have had enough, I realized this background comparing is disturbing my peace. And, although these comparisons have been there all along, my current recognition tells me the Spirit is nudging me to explore these comparisons. My first nudge is to see what the Course says about comparisons.

Even before I opened the Course I knew these comparisons are of the ego thought system. “The ego literally lives by comparisons.” (T-4.II.7:1) Comparisons are judgments and certainly not of Love.  “Comparison must be an ego device, for love makes none.” (T-24.II.1:1) Yet I wanted to get deeper with this. So after reflecting on them a few days, I recognized that my comparisons come from two underlying egoic thoughts. I either determine that my way is better, or others’ ways are better.

The first type of comparison I make comes from the underlying thought that I am special and others are lacking. The very fact that I perceive myself as special has resulted in my comparison. “Specialness always makes comparisons.” (T-24.II.1:2)  In fact, specialness “is established by a lack seen in another.” (T-24.II.1:3) As I see the littleness in others, I see myself as good, right, and stately by comparison. (T-24.II.1:6)

The second type of comparisons I make is when I see myself as lacking something.  These thoughts of lack imply that I think I would be better off possessing something I do not possess or be in a state that is different from my current state. (T-1.VI.1:5)  Whether it is from jealousy or envy, the root of these comparisons is my misplaced values. My thoughts of comparisons reflect my values and are disturbing my peace.  Hence, my peace is connected to my material values.

In addition, my perceptions of lack reinforce my thoughts of separation from God which is the only lack I need to correct. (T-1.VI.2:1) Again, this sense of separation indicates to me that I have distorted my perception of the truth. (T-1.VI.2:2) The truth is that lack does not exist in God’s creations. (T-1.VI.1:3)

Regardless of whom I judge to be lacking (myself or others), comparisons always stem from ego and reinforce my thoughts of separation from God and my brothers.  In the Bible, Paul discourages comparing ourselves with others. (2Cor. 10:12; Gal. 6:4) Likewise, in the Course, Jesus encourages us not to compare ourselves with our brothers, “for thus we split them off from our awareness of the unity we share with them.” (W-pI.195.5:4) During my comparing thoughts I am clearly not seeing my unity with my brothers. I am actually strengthening my belief that they are separate from me.

So now that I recognize my routine egoic comparisons, what do I do about them?  Again I turn to the Course which so beautifully says, “Who uses but Christ’s vision finds a peace so deep and quiet, undisturbable and wholly changeless, that the world contains no counterpart.  Comparisons are still before this peace.” (W-pII.305.1:1-2) Through Christ’s vision I can find a peace that transcends all understanding. (Phil. 4:7) Within this peace, even comparisons are still. Clearly I want to see with Christ’s vision.

The Course tells me another important thing. Although I am asleep, Christ’s vision does not leave me. (T-13.VI.13:8)  I must find Christ’s vision and the best way I know how is with Spirit’s help. I must remember that Holy Spirit is in the Mind of Both the Father and the Son and knows that Mind is One. (T-13.VIII.4:2) He is always accessible to me, the Son. I need only to ask. He is a thought of God and God has given Him to me (His Son) because He has no Thoughts He does not share. (T-13.VIII.4:3) Spirit is at my service.

In the case of my first type of comparison, where I see myself as special and others lacking, through Christ’s vision I would see differently. Christ’s vision shows me that my specialness I think I see is an illusion. (T-24.II.5:6) The Course instructs me to see the light beyond the body. “Christ’s vision has one law. It does not look upon a body, and mistake it for the Son whom God created. It beholds a light beyond the body; an idea beyond what can be touched, a purity undimmed by errors, pitiful mistakes, and fearful thoughts of guilt from dreams of sin.” (W-pI.158.7:1-3) Thus, I ask the Spirit that I see the light beyond the body, the idea beyond what I can touch. I ask to see that which is greater than my external surroundings. Clearly, Christ’s vision does not use my eyes. Yet, I can learn to look through His eyes and see like Him. (S-2.I.6:4) And, when I see with Christ’s vision, I see with forgiveness because Christ’s vision has power to overlook all sins. (W-pI.158.9:1)

With regard to the second type of comparison where I see others as special and myself as lacking, the Course reminds me that Christ’s vision looks on me as well.  This lesson is not difficult if I remember that in my brother, I see myself. If I see him as lost in sin, so must I be. But, if I see Light in him, my sins are forgiven as well. (W-pI.158.10:2-4) In other words, if I see him in Christ’s vision and see my brother’s Love, Light, and oneness, I see myself as Love, Light, and oneness. It is a reciprocating vision.

Christ’s vision has the power to carry me from my view of this physical world to one made holy by forgiveness. (W-pI.159.5:1-2) With the help of the Holy Spirit, each person I meet provides another chance to see with Christ’s vision and let Christ’s vision shine on me and bring me peace. (W-pI.158.10:5) Thus, I ask Spirit that I see no one as a body and greet everyone as the Son of God he is, with me in holiness. (W-pI.158.8:4) With Christ’s vision, He will show me the perfect purity that is forever within all of God’s Sons. (T-13.X.10:11)

Rev. Joanne Kraenzle Schneider is a Pathways of Light minister living in Festus, Missouri.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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