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Healing Through Spiritual Relationships

by Rev. Vicki Evans, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Today I reflected on the thought of being open to the spiritual gifts of others and to reinforce this kindness through sincere encouragement. The Pathways of Light course, “Spiritual Relationship Counselor Training,” changed my direction of thinking and paved my way for a miracle of a new perspective.

This course provided me with the learning and techniques to ask open-ended questions that have more than a yes-no answer to help me dig deeper into my relationships for a greater understanding of the person. This helps me give grace and accept what the person gives from their heart. I remember: No expectations, no judgment. Each person has their own set of personal tapes from their past playing in their mind that influences behaviors and reactions, just as I have my own tapes.

Recently, I found myself in the old role of Ego-in-Chief when I was talking to a relative. I started to feel that I had the answers which led me to give advice based on my limited knowledge. Luckily, I stopped myself when I started hearing the “you should…” I remembered that ego is in charge with this type of thinking.

I stepped back and took a moment to go to Holy Spirit and ask for a change of perspective to return to my true Self. I took a deep breath for eight counts, breathing in and then gave myself a slower breathing out pace with 12 counts and repeated this exercise five times.

My head and heart felt open and ready for a reset as I could now act in peace and Love. I could go to my mental space where I store my Course 2010 techniques to bring them to the forefront for a more positive relationship interaction!

“Once you accept the need to change the way you think, your level of willingness expands. You see that changing the way you think is in your own best interest.” (Creating a Spiritual Relationship-Removing the Blocks; Lesson 3, paragraph 4, sentence 1-2 on page 12) 

After going to Holy Spirit and focusing on the meaning of this lesson, I was ready to bring out the tools I learned from this course. After laying ego aside, I remembered the importance of just listening to the other person. I modeled patience with the thought of focusing on being the positive change that I want to see in life by starting this practice with myself.

I started to find joy in listening and added a mindful focus activity of observing my surroundings quietly as I listen to others: the shape of leaves, shadows of artistic tree branches if I am outdoors. Observing ordinary objects as art if I am indoors such as a picture on a wall or the unique shape of each physical object in a room. Combining mindfulness with breathing brought me a gift of peace and the ability to listen with focus and calm.

I really embraced Lesson 11 of the Spiritual Counseling course 2010 as on page 43 paragraph 6. I learned that behaviors are changed by monitoring thoughts and being aware of the mental pictures generated about a partner.

“Changing the thoughts you have about others is one of the key ingredients to successful, nurturing relationships.”

This lesson helped me realize that I want to release judgments of others and accept that we are each doing the best we can. I have been practicing being open to the true nature of others in accepting what they give spiritually in the relationship in the form of connection and oneness instead of trying to change them.

Another technique I learned that I like to use is checking for deeper understanding with caring and open-ended questions that I can ask myself, such as the questions provided from Creating a Spiritual Relationship course; Lesson 11, Item 6, sentences 1-5, page 43. These questions focus on me asking myself how I can be more nurturing with my thoughts, my actions, and with my words. The last question of Item 6 states: “Is this what the highest within me would think, do or say in this relationship?” I now carry this question with me to remind me of who I am in any situation. 

I learned that I do not need to fix anything, just be an attentive, non-judgmental listener! I can be present with no agenda, judgment or advice giving; just bring in Holy Spirit and let the relationship heal and flourish!

This activity of connection helped me cherish the gift of a relationship with others through nurturing these relationships with kindness. It helps me be open to accept myself and others just as we are — Love and Light! My gift that comes from healthy spiritual relationships is better health and wholeness, more peace and calm, and deeper relationships based on trust, compassion, and Oneness!

Rev. Vicki Evans, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Dallas, Texas. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) Phone: 713-775-9153
(POL Ministers interested in Course 2010 email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address))

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Giving Peace a Home in Our Minds

by Robert and Mary Stoelting, founders of Pathways of Light

We cannot give peace a home and believe in a world of separation from God’s oneness at the same time. We give peace a home by accepting the reality of Love’s oneness as the only Identity that exists. We give peace a home as we are willing to accept God’s Will, and not try to replace God’s Will of oneness with the belief in separation.
Conflict comes with choosing to see separation from our Identity through identifying with the body’s physical senses. As long as we insist on making what bodies do and say real, we are choosing to make peace homeless because peace and separation, like oil and water, are opposites in every way.

On Text page 76 Jesus tells us, “You are the Kingdom of Heaven, but you have let the belief in darkness enter your mind and so you need a new light. The Holy Spirit is the radiance that you must let banish the idea of darkness. His is the glory before which dissociation falls away, and the Kingdom of Heaven breaks through into its own.” (T-5.II.4:1-3)

The idea of darkness is the idea of separation from God’s Love that we let enter into our mind. The desire to get rid of peace is synonymous with the desire for separation. Getting rid of peace is the same as getting rid of God, which is where peace resides.

Because we have forgotten, Jesus reminds us of the eternal truth about ourselves and our true function: “You are the center from which [peace] radiates outward, to call the others in. You are [peace’s] home; its tranquil dwelling place from which [peace] gently reaches out, but never leaving you. If you would make [peace] homeless, how can [peace] abide within the Son of God? If [peace] would spread across the whole creation, it must begin with you, and from you reach to everyone who calls, and bring him rest by joining you.” (T-19.IV.A.1:3-6) Here we see that giving peace a home is our function because we still are the Kingdom of Heaven.

Jesus describes the belief in separation as it shows up in this world as, “The little barrier of sand [that] still stands between you and your brother.” (T-19.IV.A.2:4) He asks us, “Would you let a little bank of sand, a wall of dust, a tiny seeming barrier, stand between your brothers and salvation? And yet, this little remnant of attack you cherish still against your brother is the first obstacle the peace in you encounters in its going forth. This little wall of hatred would still oppose the Will of God, and keep [your awareness of peace] limited.” (T-19.IV.A.2:9-11)

It is helpful for us to understand that when we think that there really is something that is outside of us that is the cause of our distress, what we are doing is creating an obstacle to experiencing the peace that is innately ours.

Because we can choose once again, we now can learn to realize that everything that seems to be happening to us in the dream is just an effect of the false idea of separation and we can choose to let it go instead of continuing to believe in it. We don’t have to continue to make this world of separation real. We can forgive or let go of trying to make it real in our minds.

To find this quiet, we must meet these conditions: “God’s peace can never come where anger is, for anger must deny that peace exists. Who sees anger as justified in any way or any circumstance proclaims that peace is meaningless, and must believe that it cannot exist. In this condition, peace cannot be found. Therefore, forgiveness is the necessary condition for finding the peace of God.” (M-20.3:3-6)

Mary and Robert: We practice this together whenever we notice that we are getting upset about anything, like when we recently found ants in the house. We don’t need to dwell on how terrible this is or how unhappy we are about this situation. We have learned over time that when we notice that something that we see through our body’s eyes takes us out of our peace, we say to each other, “We can choose peace instead of this.”  This helps us break up the spell of making the ego stories of the world real in our mind. We stopped and went to the Holy Spirit with this. We then remembered that we could check the neighborhood website and ask how other people have solved a problem with ants in the house.

Being willing to stop, still our minds, and accept peace instead, is a reflection of our willingness to be led out of dismay or conflict. The habit of stepping back from judging our brother, or from judging what anything means in this world of separation, will bring great rewards.

Jesus points to our state of mind as the reason we appear to have problems. As long as we join with ego thoughts that project a world of separate bodies, we are in a state of mind that conflicts with the peaceful and joyful beingness of our true Self.

He tells us, “…it must also be that, in your state of mind, solution is impossible. Therefore, God must have given you a way of reaching to another state of mind in which the answer is already there. Such is the holy instant. It is here that all your problems should be brought and left. Here they belong, for here their answer is.” (T-27.IV.2:2-6)

To accept the holy instant, we must allow our mind to quiet and enter a state of peace. We must leave an open space in which the Holy Spirit can enter. “In quietness are all things answered, and is every problem quietly resolved.” (T-27.IV.1:1)  As we accept the Holy Spirit’s peace, we become the vehicle to extend the healing rest peace offers. We naturally extend the peace we receive to every brother, just as it was extended to us.

Jesus tells us, “And you will carry its message of love and safety and freedom to everyone who draws nigh unto your temple, where healing waits for him. You will not wait to give this, for you will call to him and he will answer you, recognizing in your call the Call for God. And you will draw him in and give him rest, as it was given you.” (T-19.IV.1:7-9)

Because of the power of our minds, we get what we focus on. Here we are seeing that it truly is worth our time to focus on accepting the peace the Holy Spirit has to offer us. It truly is worth accepting the peace of God, which is our natural inheritance.

To help with this acceptance, Jesus gives us a prayer in Lesson 205 that is priceless: “The peace of God is everything I want. The peace of God is my one goal; the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and my function and my life, while I abide where I am not at home.” (W-pI.205.1:2-3)

Because we may not have fully developed the habit of accepting Holy Spirit’s peace as a constant practice, we may doubt our ability to consistently accept the peace that is inherent in our true Nature.

Jesus expresses his confidence in us when he says, “All this will you do. Yet the peace that already lies deeply within must first expand, and flow across the obstacles you placed before it. This will you do, for nothing undertaken with the Holy Spirit remains unfinished.” (T-19.IV.2:1-3)

The following is a meditation that has helped us more consistently accept the peace that is inherent in our true Nature.

MEDITATION: As you slowly read each part below, between the dots do what it says… relax and breathe it in…

Right now I quiet my mind… I take in a deep breath and relax… I allow the Holy Spirit to lead me into a peaceful state of mind… (Allow time to receive Holy Spirit’s relaxing peace…)

I let the Holy Spirit show me where I may still be attached to the grand drama of the world where competition and specialness prevails…

I let the Holy Spirit show me where I may still be believing that I am a unique and different body, and want to make decisions on my own instead of letting Jesus take the wheel.… (allow time)…

I let the Holy Spirit show me where I may be still wanting my special likes and dislikes and the little pleasures the body offers in the ego’s ongoing story of being separate from God’s one Mind of Love .… (allow time)…

I let Holy Spirit show me that I am not a body… I am still one in God’s Love… I remember that I am never alone because the Holy Spirit is right here in my mind, waiting for me to listen and follow His lead.… (allow time)…

I am gently filled with God’s Love and extend God’s Love to every brother… This brings me a deep sense of happiness and peace.… (allow time)…

I give thanks because I know that peace of mind is not a small gift. It is my pathway to freedom from the tyranny of the ego.… I welcome Holy Spirit’s inspiration, which brings me an awareness of the truth about What I am and Where I am in Truth…  (allow time to receive Holy Spirit’s inspiration)…

Closing Thoughts:

We give peace a home in our minds
when we let the Holy Spirit
lift the veil to see
the Christ in every brother.

This is our only meaningful purpose on our journey of returning to the truth.

Again and again the Course reminds us not to make the error of separation real or we will remain in hell, along with our brother. We do not go Home alone.

The reason we cannot go Home alone is that in truth, we could never really be alone. We need to recognize that our brother is one with us. The truth is we are united with every brother in the Christ Mind as the one Son of God. We are joined in the one Mind of Love.

Throughout the Course Jesus talks about forgiveness and how important it is for us to look past error to the truth in every brother.

“Here is the holy place of resurrection, to which we come again; to which we will return until redemption is accomplished and received.

Think who your brother is, before you would condemn him. And offer thanks to God that he is holy, and has been given the gift of holiness for you.

Join him in gladness, and remove all trace of guilt from his disturbed and tortured mind. Help him to lift the heavy burden of sin you laid upon him and he accepted as his own, and toss it lightly and with happy laughter away from him. Press it not like thorns against his brow, nor nail him to it, unredeemed and hopeless.” (T-19.IV-Di.16:1-6)

The way out of madness is not to join with it. The way out of madness is to be willing to look past illusions of differences to the real Spirit of Wholeness in every brother. This is how we heal together.

Jesus tells us, “You see his madness, which you hate because you share it…. Brother, you need forgiveness of your brother, for you will share in madness or in Heaven together. And you and he will raise your eyes in faith together, or not at all.” (T-19.IV-Di.12:5,6-8)

Robert and Mary Stoelting are Founders of Pathways of Light.
Website: http://www.pathwaysoflight.org Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Guidance with My Changing Role

by Rev. Larry Glenz, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

After spending 15 weeks in Florida as a snowbird, I returned to my home on the south shore of Long Island in late April.

Although the high school lacrosse season was already two months old, I have joined the coaching staff as a volunteer coach for the final month of the season. I have served as a coach in some capacity for the Lynbrook Owls for the past 50 years.

This year, however, has been a little different for me. There have been some changes in the coaching staff and, although I am still welcomed back from my extended vacation in Florida, it took little time for me to see that the voices of authority were now different.

My ego was challenged by this. I no longer had the same comfortable role with the new coaches. I felt my voice was no longer needed, even though I was treated with warmth and respect when I first arrived. The team was struggling and the coaches were at their wits end in trying to right the ship.

But my ego was in full stride. I was the veteran coach with all the experience. But there was no room for my voice for the solution to our mediocre record at this point in the season. And I felt my presence would likely aggravate the new coaches’ frustrations. It was a bad feeling for me.

I recognized that I did not like the way I was feeling. As I have been taught, I turned my hurt feelings over to Holy Spirit.

My daily practice with the Workbook of ACIM had me on Lesson 135, If I defend myself I am attacked. Several lines stood out to me.

“A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to wisdom that is not its own. It waits until it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it.” (W-135.11:1-3)

“What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good.” (W-135.18:1)

These lines from Lesson 135 had the desired effect on me. I now felt that I was being guided to step back from being a coach after 50 years, and to be their biggest fan.

I have a good relationship with the kids and I will continue to talk to them individually on the sideline. But my strong coaching voice is now silent when it comes to giving direction. I attend practices occasionally and come to all the games. I pat the players on the back and give a lot of “attaboys” for encouragement. During games I stand on the far end of the sideline away from the coaches and try to help to keep the energy high.

My life as a high school athletic coach has been extremely rewarding. I feel as if Holy Spirit has given me some tips on how to stay involved without being a threat to the actual coaches who are being paid by the school to do the job.

Keeping my ego in check is a full time job, however. Losing games still has a tendency to bring out the worst in me. But I am very appreciative of Holy Spirit’s Guidance when my thoughts tend to wander towards frustration.

Spirit’s Guidance in stepping back, stepping aside, and letting myself be guided in my actions is a very good feeling. And I am grateful always for this. Let’s go Owls!

Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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Practicing Forgiveness

by Rev. Joyce Peebles, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

I do not normally calculate in my mind how much gas I am going to get for a certain amount of money I give the attendant. When gas hit $3.00/gallon, I gave the attendant $30.00 and because the math was so easy, I expected ten gallons of fuel. The pump stopped at eight gallons. Clearly displayed was the $30.00 I had given for the gas. I asked for $6.00 back or two more gallons of gas and was refused. I had not pressed the button for a higher grade of fuel. I left feeling unfairly treated. It was only a few dollars, but my ego would not let it go until the next morning when I read my daily lesson. This is the time of day that determines how the rest of the day will look.

Why was I holding on to this grievance? The answer came that I valued being the victim, seeing myself as vulnerable and unfairly treated, more than I valued peace. A Course in Miracles tells us ”The ego’s plan is to have you see error clearly first, and then overlook it. Yet how can you overlook what you have made real?” (T-9.IV.4:4-5) I had focused on seeing “error clearly first.” Judgment was made as I esteemed the story as reality.

The Holy Spirit’s plan is to practice forgiveness, or overlook the ego/body story, zeroing in on true reality. As I sat there that morning, I heard “you are seeing what you want to see.” If I value and want the thought of myself as separated, vulnerable, unfairly treated, the gas pump scenario supports this desire. This thought I projected came from nowhere else but my Mind. It did not make me happy, but I knew I could choose again.

Gary Renard’s book, The Disappearance of the Universe, contains a sample forgiveness prayer on page 258. “You’re not really there. If I think you are guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then the imagined guilt and fear must be in me. Since the separation from God never occurred, I forgive “both” of us for what we haven’t done. Now there is only innocence, and I join with the Holy Spirit in peace.”

I shall break this down step by step. “You’re not really there and if I think you are guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then the imagined guilt and fear must be in me.” I recognized that what my body’s eyes were seeing were the projected thoughts in my Mind. There was nothing outside of my Mind. I deceived myself by believing the lie I am an ego/body. I literally made this projection up. These images I see have value! They show me my insane mistaken thoughts. This is something the Holy Spirit showed me, the exact opposite of what the ego says is reality. The choice is always between these two voices.

“Since the separation from God never occurred, I forgive “both” of us for what we haven’t done.” Life is a dream, an illusion, a classroom in which we wake up. Reality is that I have never left the Love of God and that Oneness. It is true that my mistaken thoughts can obscure this fact, but nothing actually happened. This is also a truth that the Holy Spirit revealed to me. Again, we each choose which voice we want to hear. Let it be known I have not always been as willing to hear as I am now. ACIM has a convention once a year (pre-COVID), where people come from many different countries to hear great speakers, including Gary Renard. What was the most important thing I gained one year? The humbling knowledge that I was not as willing as I thought I was.

“Now there is only innocence, and I join with the Holy Spirit in peace.”  My erroneous thoughts were just that, thoughts. I gently let them go. It has been helpful to read, “The secret of salvation is but this: That you are doing this unto yourself. No matter what the form of the attack, this still is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, still is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is still true. For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that you were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they could have no effect on you unless you failed to recognize it is your dream.” (T-27.VIII:10:1-6)

From this perspective, my story at the gas pump is petty, nothing but a learning, healing opportunity. When forgiveness has been accomplished, I feel different. There is always gratitude which feels much better than victimization. The text continues, “This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, whatever form it takes. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo.” (T-27.VIII.11:1,6)

Somewhere in Gary Renard’s book, his helpers advised him to read Chapter 27, VIII. “The Hero of the Dream” ten times. I tried that for myself, and it changed my life. The ego’s plan brings suffering. The Holy Spirit’s plan brings happiness and peace. Each of us makes the choice every day of whose plan we follow.

Rev. Joyce Peebles is a Pathways of Light minister living in Hot Springs Village, Arkansas Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.

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