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Miracles News,
January-March, 2018
I can remember being harsh with my husband when I was married. I would feel attacked by him and I would defend myself. It felt like strength when I defended myself, but it was really weakness. I know now that “In my defenselessness my safety lies” is a wholly true statement. When I would defend myself two things would happen; our relationship would deteriorate a little, and I would feel more vulnerable.
At that time, I wasn’t able to see things differently. It was going to be awhile before I realized the strength of gentleness. I had to learn that everyone is innocent in spite of appearances.
Once I accepted that as true, I knew that there had to be another way to see and I would ask the Holy Spirit to clarify the situation for me. Most of the time now I see the innocence beneath the defenses and attacks and gentleness comes naturally. When it doesn’t, I ask for clarity.
A student of mine gave me this wonderful metaphor that helps to understand attack and so to respond with gentleness. It looks like this: We all have layers of beliefs that make up our individual self-images and our view of the world. Most of those beliefs are from the ego mind and are defensive in nature, and always skewed. But they feel very real to us and they determine how we see things and how we respond to them.
You might wonder where these concepts that make up our beliefs about ourselves and the world come from. We gather them all through our life. We begin as little children being told things that are often not true. Children don’t have filters that allow them to judge what is being said to them as being true or not. If a tired and frustrated mom tells her child that he is a bad boy, he believes her. He is not yet able to discern that she really means that he is behaving inappropriately. He just accepts that he is bad.
We continue to accept beliefs about our world and ourselves as we grow. We get these beliefs from authority figures and fellow students. We learn things from books and teachers. We even take in ideas from television shows and movies. Commercials are notorious for teaching us to be afraid and that we are not good enough and must buy something to make us better. We collect layer after layer of beliefs that are often not based on truth at all, but that we accept as true.
My friend said she sees this as a bubble surrounding us. So we float along in our bubble assuming that the world and how we see it is accurate. Everyone has their own bubble filled with their own perceptions. So when one person in a relationship says something to the other, it might very well be misunderstood when interpreted through the perceptions that make up their bubble world. This is how arguments and bad feelings occur, and they leave each person confused and therefore angry, fearful, and defensive.
Here is a simple example of how this might happen. A husband comes home from work and sees that the house is messy and he asks his wife what she did all day. He is judging the state of the house based on ideas he has picked up, perhaps from his childhood or from other people about how things should be. He is judging that his wife should be the one to get this done based on the same ideas. All of his judgments seem to be founded on truth, as he understands it. He has a lot of unquestioned beliefs about this in his mind.
His wife might respond by defending herself and probably being angry at his judgment. She has different criteria for behavior based on what she has learned. Perhaps she places more emphasis on childcare or on self-improvement. Maybe she sees other activities as being essential to her happiness and having to choose how to use her time, she chose what matters most to her. Her beliefs seem very true to her, just as true as his beliefs seem to him. Because they have different beliefs, they may not find a way to communicate lovingly unless something changes.
To make things more difficult, they might have other issues that interfere. Maybe he grew up thinking that he must be strong and that strength is exhibited in control. If his wife is a strong woman, it might be seen as an attack on him that she does not succumb to his desires. If he is uncertain of his strength, her desire to be in charge of her own life would be very upsetting to him. If she does not understand his world view, she might think he is just unkind and doesn’t care about her desires. There can be a lot of confusion and misunderstanding between couples because they do not understand or accept that their world view is different than the other’s world view. The bubbles they live in determine their world view and this does not change if the beliefs are never questioned.
The thing is, these bubbles are floating in an ocean of Love and Peace, but as long as the perceptions within the bubble are unquestioned, the bubble itself remains intact and no one experiences the peace and love that is all around them. If one in the relationship is able to perforate the bubble even a little, the Love they are in will infiltrate the bubble and illuminate the perceptions making them truer than they were. Then the reactions to the other will naturally change and become more understanding.
Now that one, with a mind much clearer, will see that the other is not cruel or unfeeling, and is in fact perfectly innocent. It is clear that the partner is just stuck in his or her bubble of mistaken beliefs, and the natural tendency will be to gently extend love rather than to defend and attack. The extension of love will defuse the situation and perhaps give the other person a chance to reconsider. Love always heals and if at least one person in the partnership is questioning the beliefs in his or her bubble, the relationship will become more loving.
I love this image of the bubbles floating in an ocean of Love. This idea will work for any relationship. It will help in the workplace and with child rearing. I think it will help me to always question my beliefs and to consider how others or myself might be trapped in unchallenged beliefs. One way that I can perforate my own bubble so that love can shine away the darkness is to ask a fellow Pathways of Light minister to help me examine the thought clusters that are in my bubble, and to ask the Holy Spirit to correct them and give me another way to see. This better way to see things will help to ensure that I never again judge someone harshly, that I will judge as the Holy Spirit judges and know their innocence. In this way, I will always be gentle in my actions and words.
Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Westlake, Louisiana. Read her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways website. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) Website: http://www.forgivenessisthewayhome.org
© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.
Miracles News,
January-March, 2018
When you… reach out to another,
you are reaching in… to you.
So all you do… for others,
you also do… for you.
All that you may ask of me,
you ask for me and you.
And, all that you are giving me,
you also give to you.
The gifts…that you have given,
are always…with you still.
Your cup… is never empty,
it is always being filled.
All that… you give another,
is also… given you.
All your thoughts
and all your words…
and all… that you may do.
Peace and Love… are truly yours,
reach in… and you’ll receive.
Happiness… is yours to have…
to have… if you believe.
So keep on with your offerings,
your joyful gifts of Love.
Just give and give all that you can
You’ll always… have enough.
When Love walks with another,
and goes the extra mile,
you’ll see your Love reflected,
in the other’s… joyful smile.
To give… while you receive,
what bliss… for you and me!
When everything I’m giving you,
I’m also… giving me!
When… you give Love to others,
which you have… so much of…
Your Love cup’s ever filling…
from your… overflowing Love…
Rev. Robert Joseph Thompson, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Portage, Wisconsin. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.
Miracles News,
January-March, 2018
I get asked a lot by my students and clients:
How can I be happy?
How can I no longer suffer?
How can things change in my life?
I always say, “It takes something” from my own experience and those whom I work with. There is a desire to heal, but not really. We still want to judge, we still don’t want to forgive and still want to look for something outside in form to complete us.
I can totally relate! One thing that was really hard for me that I did not want to change, but said I did, was looking for love in a man. I learned the hard way that when we are always looking for something or someone to complete us, we soon feel as if we’re living in hell.
You might be wondering what happened. What changed that allowed me to recognize I was the love of my life? The truth is, before this happened, I really did not have any idea how my mind worked. I was studying the Course and other perspectives, but I was not experiencing what I was reading because my unconscious belief in separation prevented me from adopting a new outlook. What made the difference is that I really became ready to be happy and that takes something! I had to feel my feelings, forgive even if I didn’t want to. True change takes something. It takes discipline and cojones. You have to really want it.
One day in meditation I was pleading to Holy Spirit that I really wanted to heal my relationships with men. That I really wanted to heal! That I am ready! The Holy Spirit lovingly said, “No you’re not.” I was in shock at first, although it was the best insight I have ever received and it would change my life forever. It lifted the veil and made me realize how I was compromising the principles of ACIM and still wanted to manipulate and make this happen.
After that I let go of the need to date or find someone to fill my void. I stopped looking for happiness “out there.” I began an inner exploration of love. Self-love. I became accepting of my single-hood and began having fun. I started to fall in love with everyone and everything instead of making that one person special. With practice, I began to notice these thoughts and feelings and give them over to the Holy Spirit. I constantly practiced giving things over, even if I felt this process was not working. I would “choose again” — and again. The more I did, the more I could see a whole world inside me, so incredibly lovely and not dependent on external things. I got unhooked from the world outside, which mattered less and less.
After five years of appearing to be single in the world, this year I got married to a man that reflects self-love back to me. It’s the most loving, respectful, fun relationship I have ever experienced and It took something for me to call this into my life.
I had to want it. Not Christian, my husband. I had to really want to recognize that there is nothing that can replace the Love of God. It takes something. Big willingness. I can hardly believe how far I have come! Now also being pregnant blows my mind! It’s such a joy to experience progress.
I used this mantra: I am the love of my life because I am God’s. Using this practice, I slowly cultivated genuine self-love, which means experiencing my true self within God. Once I felt this, having a boyfriend wasn’t as important.
You can choose as well. You choose to be the love of your life when you are ready to be. That choice can take place right now. All you need to declare is “I am willing!” You make the choice for truth, the right mind, holy love, or God — whatever you want to call it. Then you start to live that choice.
I hope this message helps you in really getting out of your own way so you can experience the happiness you are so worthy of.
Maria Felipe is a Pathways of Light minister and author of “Live Your Happy.” She leads monthly services in both Spanish and English at Unity Church in Burbank, California. Visit her online at http://www.mariafelipe.org.
Live Your Happy is now available in Spanish at http://www.mariafelipe.org
© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.
Miracles News,
January-March, 2018
One thing seems certain in this dream I call my life: There will always be significant forgiveness opportunities presented to me for my continued spiritual growth.
Coaching high school kids has always been a great passion for me. I have been with the same organization for 46 years now — the Lynbrook Owls varsity lacrosse team. Because of my longevity, I have been a witness to many tragedies of young people who transition from this world in their teens and early 20’s.
Last week we lost another great kid. We call him Jake. Jake was the starting goalie for the Owls in 2011 and 2012 and a real favorite of the coaches and players. Just when he seemed to have everything coming together for him, he contracted a rare autoimmune disease called HLH. The body’s immune response turned against healthy cells. It was less than a month from his first symptoms to his ultimate passing last week.
Jake was in training as a cadet in the academy for the New York Police Department (NYPD) — his dream job. He was scheduled to graduate next month. Two weeks before his illness manifested, Jake became engaged to his beautiful sweetheart. They rented an apartment together and picked out new furniture. They were over the moon in their excitement for their new lives together. Their dream disappeared so tragically and quickly.
This is the type of event that has people crying out, “Why?” Despite my years of experience with such heartbreaking situations, I never have had an answer for others. I am grateful for my training with ACIM and truly believe the Course concept that “there is no death.” I have asked Holy Spirit to guide me in helping the family and many friends of Jake in dealing with grief.
Upon hearing of Jake’s diagnosis, our community quickly jumped into action. An alumni lacrosse game was soon organized and a massive fund raiser put in place. But Jake was taken from us so quickly that the game and subsequent fund raiser took place the day after his funeral.
Because Lynbrook lacrosse is a powerful brotherhood spanning 60 years, the response was overwhelming. Both the alumni game and fund raiser became a true love fest in Jake’s honor. The energy of genuine love was so palpable that the family became immersed in it. It was a glorious day of love that we will never forget.
Forgiveness opportunities are always there for our healing. Experiencing such love requires us to let go and let God. Spirit never dies but becomes an angel if we let it. Jake’s love is available to heal us. Thy Will be done.
Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice and website address are included.
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Below are example references to specific sentences using the notation of the Second & Third Editions of A Course in Miracles published by the Foundation for Inner Peace:
T-26.IV.4:7 = Text, Chapt. 26, Section IV, paragraph 4, sentence 7.
W-169.5:2 = Workbook, Lesson 169, paragraph 5, sentence 2.
W-pII.1.1:1 = Workbook, Part II, Question 1, paragraph 1, sentence 1.
M-13.3:2 = Manual for Teachers, Question 13, paragraph 3, sentence 2.
C-6.4:6 = Clarification of Terms, Term 6, paragraph 4, sentence 6
The above numbering system of the Second & Third Editions published by The Foundation for A Course in Miracles
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your judgments of the world. More.