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May-August, 2025

Holy Spirit’s Gentle Lessons in Contrast

by Rev. Nicole Witt, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

“I sure like the wheat bread (that we are out of) more than this sourdough.” (what we had, and he is currently eating), my husband shouted (ok, maybe not shouted, said) from the other room. “Well, I bought that because I was using it for a soup recipe where it gets blended in, so I didn’t buy the good kind that we like.”

A few moments later, I notice I am tense, a little uptight, not in a state of peace.

“In my defenselessness my safety lies.” (W-153)

I defended myself. My husband was merely sharing a preference, and I took it personally and defended myself. My peace was shattered.

Does “shattered” seem overly dramatic? A Course in Miracles tells us there are no levels to upset. I defended myself; I lost my peace. But, because I have seen this show before (over and over), I stopped this pain train in its tracks and hopped off. I stopped, I got silent, and I heard “In my defenselessness my safety lies.” So, I forgave myself and my defensiveness. Because that was its purpose — for me to forgive it.

I am currently participating in the Step 5 Relationship Counseling Training through Pathways of Light. A few weeks ago, it was suggested that we look at Workbook Lesson 193, “All things are lessons God would have me learn.” As I was about to head out on an overnight road trip with my husband, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to practice what Jesus tells us to do in this lesson.

“Shall we not learn to say these words [forgive, and you will see this differently] when we are tempted to believe that pain is real, and death becomes our choice instead of life? Shall we not learn to say these words when we have understood their power to release all minds from bondage? These are words which give you power over all events that seem to have been given power over you. You see them rightly when you hold these words in full awareness, and do not forget these words apply to everything you see or any brother looks upon amiss.” (W-193.6)

As we headed out, I was determined to let Holy Spirit take the wheel. I made a conscious decision to let go of my agenda and to just “go with the flow”. If I felt tension arise in my body during the trip, if my husband asked me to stop yet again, I would remember another part of the lesson: “I will forgive, and this will disappear.” (W-193.13:3)

And it did. We had a wonderful trip, everything worked out perfectly, the way “I” had planned, but even better — until the drive home. It was only the next day, but I forgot to give my day over to Holy Spirit. I told the dog sitter we would be home by three, and that was that. No stopping, no detours, and not very much patience, love, or compassion either.

It didn’t take me long to realize what had happened and that I would have had a better experience if I had followed “the flow”. We could have stopped at a fun looking, semi-local haunt that I’ve never been to and have wanted to try that was on the way home. But instead, we ended up walking through the door, relieving the sitter, turning right back around (and leaving our little Sammy alone again) and heading down to a not so great, but it costs a lot, early dinner.

It was such a great lesson in contrast for me. I forgave and I experienced joy, connection, abundance, and peace. When I defended my position, I lost peace. I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit’s gentle lessons and that I can choose to learn them with a happy heart. With every opportunity to practice, my commitment to teach only Love grows.

© 2025, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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