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I Need Results!

by Rev. Larry Glenz

Having recently finished my ordination courses and having been a student of ACIM for years, I know full well that the practice of asking Holy Spirit for guidance in every concern or problem that I have is the path for receiving miracles. That being acknowledged, when it comes to life’s greatest challenges, my strongest tendency is to believe that if I don’t fix the problem it won’t get fixed.  I need results.

As the parent of a 25 year old drug addict, I feel like I have been in a battle with a powerful, fiendish demon using only prayer and meditation as my weapons. I am taught that my safety lies in my defenselessness. I am taught to always put “peace first.” I am taught to see the innocence in a son who must continuously lie and steal from his family to continue his addiction. After more than five years of in-patient rehabs, out-patient rehabs, addiction counselors and psychologists, AA, NA, and Al-anon meetings, sometimes I feel like I’m losing hope.

I have become pretty well versed in the problem of addiction and the behaviors that this disease will lead the addict to do. I am grateful for the lessons of the Pathways of Light courses, my wise and compassionate facilitators, and especially the guidance of the Holy Spirit in keeping me patient, calm, and compassionate in the face of this disease. Yet in my weakest moments I ask, “Why isn’t this working? What good is all this if it doesn’t get results?” 

Yet in my best moments, I hear a Voice tell me, “Of course it’s working. Love always works. Don’t judge the process with your own time table or your own standard of results. You don’t know what your son needs to go through or what those who love him need to learn. Love him anyway and serve as an example of compassion, understanding, and patience. Everything will be okay. Never, never give up or turn away.”

I am being taught that there is strength in defenselessness, non-judgment, gentleness, compassion, and trust. It is in a struggle as serious as this that these spiritual principles must be adhered to in order to do all I can to bring peace to myself and others.

No one ever said that following the teachings of A Course in Miracles would be easy. But it does guarantee that the direction of the Holy Spirit will bring me peace. That’s what I’ve signed up for. That’s certainly not a small result. In fact, it is and will be a miracle.

Rev. Larry Glenz is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Island, New York.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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