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April-June, 2022

Initiation into Forgiveness

by Rev. Sharon Oliver, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Seventeen years ago, my husband left me. He had an affair, took all of our money, and left me alone, pregnant and with our three year old. I was devastated, afraid and angry beyond description. I felt hatred towards him and the woman he was with.

Initially I was also frozen and did not know what to do. I prayed for help to pay our bills so I could keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I decided to take in international students to help financially and also to have and give company and friendship. This did help us stay afloat, however I was financially stressed, physically exhausted and felt very alone.

One night, as I fell into bed tired and crying, I prayed again. “Please God, allow me to see my husband through your loving eyes. I am so angry and do not want to hate him. I need strength and Your help. Thank you.”

I fell asleep and that night I had a very vivid “ dream” of my ex-husband as a child. He had severe wounds and was obviously distraught. I will not describe everything I saw, for I believe God gave me a glimpse of his wounded soul and that this is very personal. I believe I was granted this information to help me to heal myself and to find compassion for him.

From this point on, my emotions did soften. I cannot say that this healed me in an instant, though I wish it had. My life was and still is quite hard. I have constant large challenges and a great deal of stress. When life is so difficult it is easy to blame it on him leaving us and the fallout of that.

It has taken many years of constant work in order to continue healing. Even today I work at healing myself of this enormous challenge that has been an ongoing struggle. However, I know I was given a gift. I did begin a journey of massive healing within myself. I kept working with ACIM and now with Pathways of Light. I am grateful. It was for me, an initiation into a journey into true forgiveness.

© 2022, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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