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Love Came to Me in a Dream

by Rev. Erica Letfus, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

When I hopped into bed, I was overcome with grief, feeling my journey as “mother” was coming to an end. It was suggested to me that I was experiencing “empty nest syndrome,” a term used to express the grief parents often feel when their children leave home and get on with their own lives.

My children are 16 and 13. My daughter though attached to me, is also an adventurer and definite that she wants to move away from home for university, a choice which I have no hesitation in supporting her in every and any way I can.

But here I lay sobbing at midnight. And in my despair, thoughts started to steal my peace, one by one:

“My kids don’t need me anymore. They used to adore hugging me. I used to be their entire world. Raising them was hard. I should have enjoyed them more. I should have been more present with them. Did they know I loved them enough? They were so sweet and innocent. Now it’s all gone. Despair, despair, despair.” My ego thinking took over well and truly.

However, in truth, I know for a fact that I loved them with all the love in my heart. When cleaning out our garage, a job that goes on and on forever it seems, I constantly find notes we used to write to each other expressing our love, photo albums filled with happy faces and lovely adventures together. But my ego mind does it’s guilt ridden “image making” of the past and keeps me locked into, “I didn’t do a good enough job. I wasn’t a good enough mother. Now I have missed my chance – they are all grown up.”

I could barely escape the grief this evening. I didn’t know how I would fall asleep these thoughts tormented me so much!

But in a tiny moment of surrender, I remembered a teaching from A Course in Miracles — we can’t heal ourselves — that’s the job of Holy Spirit. So finally, in the wee hours of the morning I asked Holy Spirit to heal my mind. I asked for correction. I asked to have my mind healed of the beliefs that time had run out, that I didn’t do a good enough job, that I had missed my chance. I asked for my mind to be healed of the deeper belief in separation. I asked for my mind to be healed of the belief that I was all alone in my grief.

And remarkably, I fell asleep. I slept all night and awoke to a dream.

In the dream God, or Benevolence, clearly told me that a mother’s job is to love. And love is the most powerful thing in the world. That love is the only real thing at all. And no matter how hard things got while raising my children, I always loved my children. I was told that if I’m loving them, I’m always relevant. I was told that if I’m loving them, it’s never too late. We are on an endless journey through eternity and after this life is complete, love is all that remains.

This is certainly true for me, as my two year old daughter Lily died of cancer. But her love never left me. In fact her love serves as evidence to me of the unendingness of love, connecting this world to the next.

Last night, I asked a being beyond myself for my mind to be healed of my sorrow and grief, to be healed from wrongminded thinking, and I was answered. I was answered in a profound way in my dreams whilst my ego mind was at rest — by the love that never leaves me.

© 2026, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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