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The Control Issue

by Rev. Joyce Peebles, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

The Holy Spirit has shown me some aspects of my ego personality that have not served me well. My ego wants to be in control. This comes from fear and anxiety, which are hallmarks of the separation experience.

I not only want to control my world, but I have been arrogant enough to think I could control someone else’s. For example, under the guise of helping my 94-year-old mother, I tried to help or fix her. This gratifies my ego because I tell myself I am a good daughter, helping her mother. The fact is she does not want my help most of the time. And I don’t know what is in her best interest. It’s not my job to fix her or help her when she doesn’t want help.

Dr. Jerry Jampolsky, MD, relates his experience to his own mother. She was quite feisty and no one referred to her as a sweet, little, old lady. The same can be said of my mother. The Holy Spirit advised him “to tear up his scripts for Tilly” and to stop trying to change or help her. This does not mean you stop loving thoughts towards them. It means doing nothing to try to control.

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I am my mother’s sole caregiver. She does irrational things, including making poor financial decisions. Let go? Something bad will happen!

Holy Spirit has spoken more than once about this control issue. As an ego body I am a “doer.” I get things done. That’s for me.  I am asked to merely look at my fearful thoughts and do nothing.

The idea of being still and quiet seems inadequate. Forgiveness merely looks, waits and does nothing. There is no need to twist what I see in the world to get rid of my unease and try to feel better.

I am being told to be still, to stop all judging and doing. This is hard for the Joyce character in the story. I want to control and yet feel guided to surrender and do nothing.

I have told others I don’t understand. The Holy Spirit has assured me my understanding is not necessary for salvation. In fact, the only reason I want to understand is because I want to control. Instead, I need to learn to be still and quiet, do nothing in the midst of turmoil. Stop struggling and wanting things differently.

Furthermore, I am guided to let all things be exactly as they are all the time. If I want to know my True Self, I need to just BE. I can observe my thoughts without engaging or reacting at all. Beingness happens outside the dream. All I am asked to do is come with wholly empty hands to God, ready to listen.

I am learning to merely look at my pride, ignorance, controlling thoughts and do nothing. By doing nothing and just allowing them to surface they will go away on their own. Fear made this world and I want to control out of fear. Fear has tried to stop me from quietly doing nothing.

It does not matter what images I see. I can do nothing. The Holy Spirit reminds me everything is only happening in the Mind.

What do I do about the thoughts? Nothing. Let them pass. Being present in the moment is what is asked of me. I am safe in the present moment and there is nothing to fear. Stop all activity and just BE.

© 2026, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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