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September-December, 2025

The Self-Image I Made

by Rev. Myron Jones, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Interestingly enough, I discovered through watching the movie Barbie, of all things, that a major component of the self-image I made is one of being a failure. The monologue from Barbie says this in part: “…you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we’re always doing it wrong.”

When I heard that, I cried. So, I knew it was something for me to look at.

Today, on my way home from the doctor’s office, I had a memory of something I did many years ago that still causes me to be embarrassed when I think of it. It was nothing really, but just an insignificant moment in my life when I felt like I behaved inappropriately. I was drinking and dancing. I felt like I was way too uninhibited in that dance. So even today, all these years later, I was still judging myself. It is so ridiculous and yet still true. It was just one of many moments that I knew I did it wrong.

I did so many things wrong as a child, as a teenager, as a mother. I seemed never to get it right.

As a Course student, I still do it wrong. And from the perspective of the ego, it doesn’t seem to matter how well I do or how much better I am now than before, I am not perfect and I still do it wrong. I am a failure.

Thank God that I don’t always feel that way and that I do realize that no matter what my ego-self believes, this cannot be true.

It is the ego-self, the self I made to be my avatar in this earth adventure, that I came to forgive, to let go. So, I am glad to see this particular aspect surface in my conscious awareness. Because how could I forgive it if I keep myself unaware of it? I cannot emphasize too strongly how important it is that I look at this.

In Chapter 14, Section VII, Paragraph 6, Jesus says this:

“The Holy Spirit asks of you but this; bring to Him every secret you have locked away from Him. Open every door to Him, and bid Him enter the darkness and lighten it away. At your request He enters gladly. He brings the light to darkness if you make the darkness open to Him. But what you hide He cannot look upon. He sees for you, and unless you look with Him He cannot see. The vision of Christ is not for Him alone, but for Him with you. Bring, therefore, all your dark and secret thoughts to Him, and look upon them with Him. He holds the light, and you the darkness. They cannot coexist when both of You together look on them. His judgment must prevail, and He will give it to you as you join your perception to His.” (T-14.VII.6:1-11)

So this is what I did today and it is what I continue to do every day, every time the thought of unworthiness surfaces in my mind. I do it with all false beliefs that make up the image I think of as Myron. I will let them all go so that I can remember who I am.

© 2025, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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