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January-March, 2016

Trusting I Am in Good Hands

by Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C.

I feel like my “Trust” level is steadily increasing. I have been practicing forgiveness — ACIM style — for more than two decades. Seeing the world as a classroom and every circumstance and situation as a “forgiveness opportunity” is the goal of the practice.  And I am definitely getting better at it.

Why do I think that I am getting better at this? It seems to be in the way I feel — the amount of love that comes my way — a feeling of confidence that everything is exactly as it should be for my continuing spiritual growth. I am so grateful to have this pathway to travel while I slowly yet steadily realize that I am the “dreamer of the dream.”

The situation that I can apply this to today has to do with the fact that my book, Forgiving Kevin, is being made into a full-length motion picture. Although this was not my idea, I did say, “yes” to the project after going to Holy Spirit. In fact, I felt that I heard Spirit tell me, “say yes, and then let go and leave the rest to Me.”

The screenplay of the book is now completed in its first version. I did not write it. It was written by my new friend, Chris, who is also the director and producer of the movie.

I am being reminded that the ego knows exactly how to enlist all my fears to challenge my intentions of true forgiveness – my efforts to let go and let God. Although Chris is well experienced in this field and I certainly am not, something makes me feel like the expert. After all, I was there. I wrote the book.

Chris has said many times that he expects to collaborate with me to keep the movie “honest and authentic” to the story. As a result, upon reading the screenplay I made more than 100 notations of changes I believe should be made to achieve this “honesty and authenticity.”

I spoke to my friend Picch, the editor of my book, about this. He asked with some skepticism, “Do you believe suggesting over 100 corrections to be letting go?”

I replied with confidence, “Yes, I went to Spirit with the intention of being helpful. I had the opportunity to give my thoughts in detail over a 3-hour meeting. Now, I can let go and help only when asked or directed.”

But it really is not that easy for me. My ego rails at the words the script has me say. Those were not my words. I don’t talk like that.

There are actions of Kevin or me that never happened the way described in the screenplay. My ego screams, “Hey, do you want it authentic or not?” I am quick to forget that I promised to “let go.”

Reducing a seven-year period into about 105 minutes requires skill and innovation. I know little to nothing about filmmaking. I feel I was clearly advised by my Higher Power to hand all the details to Him. He (Spirit) will involve me as He sees fit. Without His clear direction, I need do nothing.

This is my opportunity to practice true forgiveness — to let go and let God. This whole scenario has been set up perfectly for my continued spiritual growth. My trust has grown over the years of practice with ACIM.

I have also enlisted the spirit of my son, Kevin, to help me stay focused on this true form of forgiveness. He often serves as a guiding angel to remind me to laugh at all these ego thoughts that enter my mind. I ask both Holy Spirit and his assistant coach, Kevin, to keep me vigilant in this practice of forgiveness.

And I trust that I am in good hands.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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