January-March, 2013
Workbook lesson 12 says, I am upset because I see a meaningless world. I see a world where a life ends — and then ends up in a vacuum cleaner bag (a spider). And then ends up in that bag forever, at the dump. A glorious life, forever in a vacuum cleaner bag, at the dump. This can’t be real. That kind of stuff can only happen in dreams.
Being concerned about a spider ending its life in a bag at the garbage dump is a viewpoint that could be considered fatalistic. I can go there sometimes! When things jump out and strike my consciousness and when I’m feeling unmanageable.
At those times I want to say maybe this world is more powerful than God! God doesn’t seem to have much power here. For goodness’ sake, I can’t even control my own self! My own actions aren’t even under my own control! From a dead spider to complete defeatism in 2.7 seconds. Just what the ego wants. It’s all according to plan.
Holy Spirit, how do I do differently when I can’t do differently? I don’t know what anything is for. I don’t even know what I am for. The queen is lost, has amnesia, and is wandering in the gutter. The kingdom is looting and pillaging. Like some crazy, kookie, cartoon carnival everything is running amok! A whirling vortex of insanity, a mirrored merry-go-round.
But into the middle of that whirling world, I can close my eyes, immediately stopping the projection and say, “Come, Holy Spirit. I need a miracle. Please heal my mind, and please show me Your way, show me Reality.”
The Holy Spirit, with laser-beam clarity, will say something like, Perception seems to teach you what you see. Yet it but witnesses to what you taught. (T-24.VII.8:8-9) Yet can perception serve another goal.
It is not bound to specialness but by your choice. And it is given you to make a different choice, and use perception for a different purpose. (T-24.VII.11:10-12)
Instant flip. Instant peace. Instant miracle, because I know that I have created this with an unhealed ego mind. It isn’t a problem — it isn’t even real. But it can be used by the Holy Spirit. Its purpose can change, and I can be healed — I can awaken, together with my Brothers and Sisters. And a dead spider in a vacuum cleaner bag can go down in history as a Dead Bug Healing, and I can understand why God is laughing, and I can laugh too. ❦
Bobbie Montgomery is Pathways of Light minister candidate living in Vancleave, Mississippi.
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