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Study of the Text, Chapter 9, I. The Acceptance of the Atonement, P 5. 12-3-14

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 5
5 I have emphasized many times that the Holy Spirit will never call upon you to sacrifice anything. But if you ask the sacrifice of reality of yourself, the Holy Spirit must remind you that this is not God’s Will because it is not yours. There is no difference between your will and God’s. If you did not have a split mind, you would recognize that willing is salvation because it is communication.

I’m going to consider the idea of willing is communication when I look at the next paragraph where Jesus says more about it. Right now my mind is focused on the idea of sacrifice and the idea of my will and God’s Will being the same.

I have always thought that God was asking me to sacrifice. This has been going on all my life. Sacrificing for God was strongly emphasized when I was a Catholic, not that I needed any encouragement to believe in sacrifice, but through Catholicism sacrifice became confused with love of God in my mind. In reality, sacrifice is related not to love of God, but to the fear of God.

Slowly, through the study of ACIM, I have learned that God does not want my sacrifice. The idea of sacrifice is a sticky mess in my mind though, and I still notice the belief cropping up so it is still there, though not as strongly believed as before, and denied as truth when I notice it. If God wanted my sacrifice, He would not be Love.

The belief that is hardest to release is the belief the Holy Spirit is asking me to sacrifice the world and my own self in order to be saved. The confusion occurs because, while He does encourage me to give up the world and the ego self, He is also teaching me that this is no sacrifice, and up until now I just wasn’t buying it. There was still this corner of my mind where insanity reigns, and I think it is better to rule the asylum than to be one with God. Well, it is still there but it is a shrinking space.

In this part of the mind, the ego insists that with just a little more time the world can be improved upon and I will finally get what I want. No matter that it has been saying this for eons, and no matter that it can’t articulate exactly what it is I want or how that task will be accomplished. The ego mind is insistent that giving up on the separation idea is loss.

As a concept, I have already given up on the separation idea, and now I am just looking at the many forms of the idea in my mind and life, and realizing that I don’t want it anymore. I am learning through contrast that it is no sacrifice to let it all go. I have been doing this a thought at a time, a situation at a time, a relationship at a time, but the lesson is being generalized and I am much closer to letting go of the idea that I am ever being asked to sacrifice. I am finally realizing that there is nothing here worth keeping so how could it be that letting it go would be a sacrifice.

Which brings me naturally to the next idea; God’s Will is my will. We share the same will, God and I. This separate ego will is a toy I have played with, not what I am. I am one with God and so I am one with His Will. That is the only will I have, and as I let go of the belief I am being asked to sacrifice my own will for God’s, I become more eager for the truth.

I have become less protective of the ego will, and more willing to accept my own true will. Now the idea of my will being overcome by God’s Will no longer frightens me because I realize that is not what is happening. I am, instead, simply returning to my own will, which is returning to God’s Will. I’m still allowing this to be untangled in my mind, but it will go faster now that I am no longer afraid of it.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://dev.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text, Chapter 9, I. The Acceptance of the Atonement, P 4. 12-2-14

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 4
4 You have imprisoned your will beyond your own awareness, where it remains, but cannot help you. When I said that the Holy Spirit’s function is to sort out the true from the false in your mind, I meant that He has the power to look into what you have hidden and recognize the Will of God there. His recognition of this Will can make it real to you because He is in your mind, and therefore He is your reality. If, then, His perception of your mind brings its reality to you, He is helping you to remember what you are. The only source of fear in this process is what you think you will lose. Yet it is only what the Holy Spirit sees that you can possibly have.

Oh my! Do you see what Jesus is saying here? In my mind is the truth, in my mind is my true will, the Will of God, and as I am willing to accept His help, the Holy Spirit looks with me and I see it, too. Because the Holy Spirit is in my mind, I become aware of my true will which is the Will of God. The only thing standing between my awareness of the truth and the separated will of ego is the fear that knowing my self is a loss.

When I think of salvation in these terms, it all seems so simple and so accessible. I hear the Voice for God very clearly and I hear it every day so I am convinced that the Holy Spirit is in my mind. Now Jesus is telling me that all He has to do to bring me to full awareness is to look into what I have hidden and recognize the Will of God there. It feels so close and so possible when I think of this. I’ve cried three times just writing this.

So this is what has been happening in my practice! I look at the thoughts and feelings that seem to make up my life and I invite the Holy Spirit to look with me. To the degree I am willing to be known, the Holy Spirit finds God there and shows It to me. I feel like a blind woman whose sight is beginning to return. Or maybe like an insane person who is coming out of her psychosis.

I have been doing exactly what I need to be doing, and I never gave thought to the miracle that is occurring. It was just a practice, and yes, it was changing everything so it was the best practice in the world, but never did I realize the true significance of that practice. It just seemed too simple to be this important.

Now the immediate ego reaction to this is to find someone to make guilty. As the rush of discovery begins to fade, the ego mind starts asking what is wrong with me? What am I waiting for? It begins to insert doubt. It starts saying that if it was really this easy, I would already be awake. Or I must not be worthy or I would already be awake. And I’m guilty for being unworthy. I am unwilling to buy into its party line, so it agrees that this can be done and someday if I keep at it, I will wake up. Same old, same old.

I am so on fire with this new understanding that I am not even interested enough to listen to the ego this morning! Look into my mind, Holy Spirit, look with me at the ego beliefs there. Show me the Will of God that is also my will. What have I got to lose? Life as I know it? That is a loss I am willing to incur, if it is a loss at all.

Here are the objections my ego self has. I am afraid I will give up reading my novels, and that I will never find out what happens next on Blue Bloods. I will never again have a normal relationship with my kids because there will be no specialness in it. They won’t feel loved by me. What else is the little self afraid of, Holy Spirit?

What if my whole life changes and I feel lost and I don’t know my place in the world? I don’t know what to expect and I am afraid when I don’t know and don’t understand and have no control. My head begins to hurt as I think about this. Holy Spirit, look with me at these thoughts and find God in them. I am showing you my thoughts, and I am waiting for you to show me the Will of God in me. Show me that the Will of God is my will. What am I? Show me the truth in my mind.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://dev.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text, Chapter 9, I. The Acceptance of the Atonement, P 3. 12-1-14

I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 3
3 If you do not know what your reality is, why would you be so sure that it is fearful? The association of truth and fear, which would be highly artificial at most, is particularly inappropriate in the minds of those who do not know what truth is. All this could mean is that you are arbitrarily associating something beyond your awareness with something you do not want. It is evident, then, that you are judging something of which you are totally unaware. You have set up this strange situation so that it is impossible to escape from it without a Guide Who does know what your reality is. The purpose of this Guide is merely to remind you of what you want. He is not attempting to force an alien will upon you. He is merely making every possible effort, within the limits you impose on Him, to re-establish your own will in your awareness.

I would like to argue that I am ready for reality, to know the truth of what I am, to accept my own will in my awareness, and yet, it seems that I am not. I still sometimes cling to the ego will as if my own holy will were something to be avoided, to fear and to defend myself against. I can say this, though. I am no longer completely opposed to accepting reality. In fact, I am far more open to the truth than I ever have been.

It seems that this is all that the Holy Spirit needs from me. He simply needs me to allow Him to reestablish my own will in my awareness. I say this is what I want, but then I stop Him. My reality is that I am one with all my brothers, but when I get too close to that memory I choose to imagine a brother is my enemy.

I make an image of this desire and insert it in the life of Myron. Suddenly there is a story of betrayal and I am all into that story, hiding from myself that I chose it and put it there. Instead I get all confused, and spend time trying to see it differently, feeling victimized because it all seems so unfair, feeling discouraged because it all seems so hard.

I might ask how this is better than it ever was before, but you see, I know what I am doing. I might spend some time in confusion because I am afraid to admit my culpability, or because I simply don’t want to admit it,  but I know. I know it in my heart of hearts, and pretty quickly, I know it in my aware mind. I am learning not to fight this, but to relax into it and I’m learning not to judge it, just to be aware of it and remember that I don’t value the “right” to be a weak and miserable victim anymore.

I really am coming to my senses. I really am deciding for God more and more often. As I make this choice more often I become comfortable with it and my resistance is falling away. Something I have noticed is that I used to be totally focused on vigilantly watching my mind, learning to discern the ego thoughts from my true thoughts.

I used to be very focused on developing my will to see differently and to allow the Holy Spirit access to my mind. Now I don’t feel that hyper vigilance in the same way. I know that I want to wake up, and I am just learning to master that decision. There is no way I could back out of this now. I could never go back to ignorance. I could never want to.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://dev.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

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