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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VI.From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 9. 4-23-14

9 Your mind is dividing its allegiance between two kingdoms, and you are totally committed to neither. Your identification with the Kingdom is totally beyond question except by you, when you are thinking insanely. What you are is not established by your perception, and is not influenced by it at all. Perceived problems in identification at any level are not problems of fact. They are problems of understanding, since their presence implies a belief that what you are is up to you to decide. The ego believes this totally, being fully committed to it. It is not true. The ego therefore is totally committed to untruth, perceiving in total contradiction to the Holy Spirit and to the knowledge of God.

Part of my mind believes I am this body/personality. It gives its allegiance to the idea that I am Myron and that I live in this body and in this world, and I will die here. This part of my mind believes that it is up to me to decide what I am and that I can make my decision true simply by deciding on it. I don’t know anything; I perceive and I think that my perceptions are meaningful.

Part of my mind knows who and what I am. I am God’s Son, free and whole and perfect, and I exit in Him and as part of Him. I don’t think; I know. I am not influenced in any way by the part of the mind that is insane. No matter what I think, I simply am as I was created and nothing I think or do can alter that in any way. I am a creator but I am not my own creator.

As long as I try to hold onto both ideas I will be in conflict. If I want peace, and I do, I must let go of one identity and become totally dedicated to the other. It is not possible to be totally committed to a lie, and why would I want to anyway. I have already made my decision to return my whole mind to God, and now it is just a matter of commitment and vigilance.

I watch my mind for the dark thoughts that take me deeper into the illusion and realize they are meaningless and that I am not interested in them. This is not hard to do and when it seems hard it is only because I have placed value where there is none and I change my mind. I don’t have to do anything to be my Self, I just stop trying to be something else.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VI.From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 8. 4-22-14

VI. From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 8

8 I have repeatedly emphasized that the ego does believe it can attack God, and tries to persuade you that you have done this. If the mind cannot attack, the ego proceeds perfectly logically to the belief that you must be a body. By not seeing you as you are, it can see itself as it wants to be. Aware of its weakness the ego wants your allegiance, but not as you really are. The ego therefore wants to engage your mind in its own delusional system, because otherwise the light of your understanding would dispel it. It wants no part of truth, because the ego itself is not true. If truth is total, the untrue cannot exist. Commitment to either must be total; they cannot coexist in your mind without splitting it. If they cannot coexist in peace, and if you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and for all time. This requires vigilance only as long as you do not recognize what is true. While you believe that two totally contradictory thought systems share truth, your need for vigilance is apparent.

The error I make is in confusing myself with the ego. I am not the ego. That is the truth and that makes all the difference in the world. The ego really does believe it can attack God, and it tries to convince me that I am the one attacking God. When I identify with the ego, I believe I have done this and so the guilt I feel is immense, so immense that I hide from it instead of bringing it into the Light for healing. As I have allowed more and more healing of my mind, I have withdrawn my allegiance from the ego.

I see that I cannot keep dividing my allegiance between ego and Truth. This has split my mind and put me in a perpetual state of conflict, which has become intolerable. I have made a decision to choose God once and for all. For the time being this requires vigilance on my part to be aware of the tendency to choose conflict over peace.

I never stay with conflict when I am aware that I am doing it. If I see that I am angry with someone, anyone, for any reason, I choose to forgive. I forgive the person, the situation, and myself. I cannot have this conflict and be at peace, and I choose peace every time. I might have to talk myself into making this choice but even that is not necessary most of the time.

My vigilance must be strongest for the conflict that is not as obvious. Sometimes I notice that I feel anxious and don’t know why. This is conflict that I am hiding from myself. I become willing to see it, and my willingness exposes the problem. Then I can confront my conflicted thoughts and ask for and accept the Atonement for them.

Yesterday I noticed that I was feeling little twinges of anger at one person then another. I felt impatient with them. This is unusual enough for me to take notice and ask Spirit for clarity. Suddenly I felt grief stricken and cried. I realized that what was really happening is that I was trying to avoid feeling upset about my sister-in-law being close to death.

It was like I had two thoughts in my mind; “Brinda is going to die” and “I am not going to think about Brinda dying.” There was a little battle going on in my mind, and in trying to be unaware of this inner war, I was projecting the upset onto other people. But I am very vigilant for conflict, and my truest desire is to be free of conflict, so I let Holy Spirit show me the problem and I accepted healing. I let myself feel the grief rather than shielding myself from it.

I want peace and so I am determined to give up the idea of conflict entirely and for all time.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VI.From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 7. 4-21-14

VI. From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 7

7 If you will keep in mind what the Holy Spirit offers you, you cannot be vigilant for anything but God and His Kingdom. The only reason you may find this hard to accept is because you may still think there is something else. Belief does not require vigilance unless it is conflicted. If it is, there are conflicting components within it that have led to a state of war, and vigilance has therefore become essential. Vigilance has no place in peace. It is necessary against beliefs that are not true, and would never have been called upon by the Holy Spirit if you had not believed the untrue. When you believe something, you have made it true for you. When you believe what God does not know, your thought seems to contradict His, and this makes it appear as if you are attacking Him.

This is what really stands out to me this morning.

“When you believe something, you have made it true for you.”

Jesus has made it clear to us that the life we think we are living is just a dream, an illusion, and it has no real effects. In other words, we cannot affect reality. We cannot change creation or make God something that He is not. So, ultimately our beliefs and actions are meaningless. However, what we believe is true for us, so in time we are suffering because of our beliefs. We are holding ourselves apart from God because of our beliefs.

The second thing that stands out for me is this.

“When you believe what God does not know, your thought seems to contradict His, and this makes it appear as if you are attacking Him.”

This is the source of our fear and guilt. We think that we are attacking God through holding beliefs that are in opposition to His nature. The solution is to be vigilant for signs that we are believing what is not in alignment with Truth, and to ask the Holy Spirit to undo this belief for us. We will not always have to do this because one day we will have allowed healing of these separate thoughts often enough to realize that they are all the same. This transfer of learning allows healing of the one thought, that we are separated from God. Once that is healed we will be at peace.

In the meantime, I am vigilant for my thoughts and my emotions. I notice when they are not the thoughts I think with God. I realize that I am willing to be corrected. I accept the healing of my mind. So simple. Oh yeah, I disregard appearances. What appears to have substance, my body and of all I see with the body’s eyes, is just an expression of the beliefs in my mind. I will notice when I am taking them for fact and remember that they are meaningless except for the opportunity they afford me to see what is going on in my head.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VI.From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 6. 4-17-14

VI. From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 6

6 The Holy Spirit undoes illusions without attacking them, because He cannot perceive them at all. They therefore do not exist for Him. He resolves the apparent conflict they engender by perceiving conflict as meaningless. I have said before that the Holy Spirit perceives the conflict exactly as it is, and it is meaningless. The Holy Spirit does not want you to understand conflict; He wants you to realize that, because conflict is meaningless, it is not understandable. As I have already said, understanding brings appreciation and appreciation brings love. Nothing else can be understood, because nothing else is real and therefore nothing else has meaning.

I found out late yesterday that my beloved sister-in-law is dying. I always feel a little strange around death because my reaction to death is so different than it is for others who still believe in death. When my mom died some of my Course friends came to the wake and we laughed more than anything else. I know others who were there must have thought I was either unfeeling or maybe still in shock. I was happy for my mom. She was ready to move on.

I do miss her even now. I miss talking to her and seeing her and touching her. I still wouldn’t wish her back and never was I sad for her. When I am less identified with the body as self, I am certain that communication will be unbroken between those of us who are still embodied and those who are not. Then there will be no grief at all.

One of the problems that I face at times like this is that I resist the natural grief that comes with loss. If I feel no loss then there is no reason for grief. But I still do feel loss, at least for awhile, and I hate feeling the emotion that comes with that. I have always pushed it down and resisted it as much as I could. I realized this morning that it makes me feel afraid and vulnerable and that’s probably why I try not to feel it.

But in reading this paragraph I am reminded that it doesn’t matter why I feel like I do, and why I am afraid of my feelings. I don’t need to dig around in my childhood to come up with answers. I don’t even need to know what I should feel. All of it is a part of the illusion. Fear and grief and confusion have no place in God so none of it is real. The Holy Spirit will undo what I have done simply because I want Him to.

That doesn’t mean He will wave a magic wand and it will all be gone without any effort on my part. My part is to look at my fears and agree that I am through with them and ready for them to be healed. I can’t get out of that. It, however, doesn’t need to be a protracted experience. I’ve noticed that it goes by pretty quickly these days for the most part. Once I have done my part, then the magic wand trick comes out and, poof, just like that I am healed and all the confusion and fear falls away.

Whatever needs to be looked at and whatever I need to experience, I am ready. I want only to heal my mind and awaken from the dream. My friend Rev Cathy Doran sent me a helpful message this morning. Here is what she said.

“I know that you have the intellectual understanding about death. I would simply urge you to stay in the present moment and experience whatever emotions come up. Do not place an expectation on what emotions should look like, or feel like or which emotion is appropriate for the moment. Simply allow yourself to experience the seeming loss of a friend, sister, loved one. You may discover that you are mourning the loss of others; other people, other things; the loss of your separate identity as Myron. In doing so, you will allow those around you, in fact all of the Christ body, to mourn their own ‘losses’. This mourning is a healing when done in awareness.”

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Posted by Rev. Myron Jones.

Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VI.From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 5. 4-16-14

If you are following along, you may want to look at yesterdays posting. I added a postscript after contemplating further.

VI. From Vigilance to Peace, Paragraph 5

5 The ego therefore opposes all appreciation, all recognition, all sane perception and all knowledge. It perceives their threat as total, because it senses that all commitments the mind makes are total. Forced, therefore, to detach itself from you, it is willing to attach itself to anything else. But there is nothing else. The mind can, however, make up illusions, and if it does so it will believe in them, because that is how it made them.

Oh my, it is becoming clearer how we got into this mess, this entanglement with illusions. We made the ego as a separation idea, and it is opposite to everything that is true and real. It is in opposition to what we are and so it must detach itself from us. So where does it go? It makes up someplace to go. It makes up illusions, bodies, and stories to hold our attention with lots of drama. And I love how Jesus explains this why this works: “The mind can, however, make up illusions, and if it does so it will believe in them, because that is how it made them.”

We did such a good job making these illusions (of course we did, we are God’s Son) that we have confused ourselves. We made them from belief and now we believe them. So when a story unfolds, and that story holds our attention, we have a hard time remembering that it is only an illusion and has nothing to do with us other than to make more illusion for our entertainment.

But dang, it sure seems real. And if it is real, we are guilty and in danger. Luckily, only part of the mind has been driven mad by its insane beliefs and there is a way out of our illusory experience. The Holy Spirit is the answer to our predicament, and the Holy Spirit is in our mind, right next to the problem. Handy, right?

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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