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Study of the Text II. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 11, 11-6-13

I. Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 11
11 You are not persecuted, nor was I. You are not asked to repeat my experiences because the Holy Spirit, Whom we share, makes this unnecessary. To use my experiences constructively, however, you must still follow my example in how to perceive them. My brothers and yours are constantly engaged in justifying the unjustifiable. My one lesson, which I must teach as I learned it, is that no perception that is out of accord with the judgment of the Holy Spirit can be justified. I undertook to show this was true in an extreme case, merely because it would serve as a good teaching aid to those whose temptation to give in to anger and assault would not be so extreme. I will with God that none of His Sons should suffer.

I am so grateful to my brother, Jesus, for his example, as well as for his reassurance now that we are not expected emulate his example, only to learn from it. It is not God’s Will that we suffer. I am pretty unlikely to experience any situation more extreme than crucifixion and even if I did, I still know how to see it because Jesus showed me.

His lesson is this: I am never justified in judging anybody as guilty. That is I am to never, under any circumstances no matter how extreme they appear to be, to perceive out of accord with the Holy Spirit’s judgment. And His judgment is that the Sons of God are innocent.

I had to take my car to the dealership for repairs yesterday. I asked the mechanic at work to check it over first so that when I got there I would not be clueless, and more importantly, that the mechanics at the dealership would know I was not clueless. I always feel at the mercy of the mechanic because I don’t know if they are trying to take advantage of my ignorance. I have, more than once, suspected that they are doing so. This makes me feel like I am being persecuted.

This time I am doing it differently. I did check with our mechanic at work, but I also offered my mistaken thoughts to the Holy Spirit and asked for the miracle in exchange. I left my car with the dealership as well as the information I received from our mechanic, which saved the dealership mechanics some time as it guided them to the right area.  I didn’t feel concerned about what happened or what it would cost. Already this was a different experience for me.

Late yesterday I went by to see how everything went. They took me out to the car to show me what needed to be done and why, and I actually talked with the young mechanic who was doing the work. It was obvious he took his job seriously and he explained everything very carefully, using visuals so I would understand. This has never happened before. He told me what I had to do and what I might could get away with doing. He carefully explained all his recommendations. I did not feel at all persecuted. ~smile~

They have to order a part. Normally, this would have panicked me because I will miss so much work. The cost is pretty high as well, and I don’t actually have enough money in hand to pay for it. Normally, before they order a part, I have to pay for it. This time they didn’t ask for any money, which is good since I don’t have it. I trust it will be there when I do have to pay for it since I’m learning to trust that it is not God’s Will that I suffer.

I haven’t suffered any panic or even concern since I handed the whole thing over to Spirit. The miracle I received in exchange was peace of mind. I am using this free time to work on my website and to do more writing. I am enjoying my unexpected “vacation” without anxiety. I see that I am probably going to have to buy a new car soon since this one is having periodic problems that cost me both money and work, so I am watching my mind for fear thoughts, which I can exchange for more miracles.

In the world it looks like I had an experience with my car and with money. In reality I have only one purpose, that is, to heal my mind of all false beliefs through asking for and accepting the Atonement. Yesterday, I remembered my purpose.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, I. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 10. 11-5-13

I. Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 10
10 We are still equal as learners, although we do not need to have equal experiences. The Holy Spirit is glad when you can learn from mine, and be reawakened by them. That is their only purpose, and that is the only way in which I can be perceived as the way, the truth and the life. When you hear only one Voice you are never called on to sacrifice. On the contrary, by being able to hear the Holy Spirit in others you can learn from their experiences, and can gain from them without experiencing them directly yourself. That is because the Holy Spirit is one, and anyone who listens is inevitably led to demonstrate His way for all.

All of us, Jesus included, are equal as learners. That is very encouraging, because it sometimes feels like we are not all equal as learners. I am often just dumbfounded that Jesus found our way out. How did he do that? I sometimes still have trouble finding my way out of an ego storm. I have trouble sometimes remembering the truth about myself and my brothers. And yet, he says that we are equal as learners so I know I can do this, too.

Jesus also says that we do not all need to have the same experience. His contribution included crucifixion and we can learn from his experience so we do not have to be crucified. His crucifixion teaches me that everyone is innocent regardless of their actions, and it teaches me that there is nothing to fear. We are invulnerable. No matter what happens to the body we remain unaffected. No matter what direction the story takes, we are unaffected.

I am, of course, the perfectly free and unlimited Son of God, so I can act like I am being crucified regularly if I want to. I am learning not to do that. I am learning to accept the Atonement instead. I think I am guilty and I suffer. This is how I crucify myself. Then I realize what I have done and I offer the guilt to the Holy Spirit in exchange for the miracle. This is how I get down off the cross. Why would I want to emulate the lesson when I can simply accept the healing instead?

I can learn from everyone’s experience if I choose to. When I watch a TV show or go to the movies, I automatically look for the lesson. I do this when I read novels as well. I do this when I listen to my brother’s story. I am healed with my brother when we study together. Last week I was healed many times as all those people at the workshop shared their healing. As they shifted, so did I.

We will awaken not because we each individually heal all mistaken thoughts in our mind, but because in healing the thoughts that come up for that purpose, we heal the entire Sonship. It is also very helpful when we share these healings in words, because, as inadequate as they are, words are how we communicate with each other while here.

As we live from our healed mind we teach what we have learned simply by being. I can learn from the book and I can talk a good talk. But if I do not live what I learn and make it mine so that I never live from anything else, I will not teach salvation.  Jesus lived salvation. That is why he made such an impact on the world and why he is still awakening us. I want to join with Jesus by believing what he believed. I want to join with Jesus in awakening the Sonship by teaching what I believe with Jesus.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, !. Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 9. 11-3-13

I. Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 9
9 I elected, for your sake and mine, to demonstrate that the most outrageous assault, as judged by the ego, does not matter. As the world judges these things, but not as God knows them, I was betrayed, abandoned, beaten, torn, and finally killed. It was clear that this was only because of the projection of others onto me, since I had not harmed anyone and had healed many.

What I get from this is that if I feel like someone has attacked me in any way, be it small or large, I must forgive. I don’t forgive the person for what they did, but I forgive the idea they did anything. I forgive the idea that I can be betrayed or insulted or anything else. Even if they attack this body, I forgive the idea that I can be attacked, because this body is nothing, only a vehicle, handy to assist in the awakening, but certainly not important to me and most certainly not me.

On those rare occasions when I feel a sense of betrayal or abandonment, I question that feeling and inevitably discover that it was only my thoughts that hurt me. When recently I felt abandoned by my daughter I first asked the ego what was going on, and the ego told me that I must be guilty for something then told me that my daughter was at fault. These thoughts were very painful, but at first I was swayed by this explanation because guilt still has a place in my mind.

After awhile, though, I came to my senses and looked at it with the Holy Spirit. I remembered that I cannot be abandoned. I am part of the Whole; how could I be abandoned and by what? There is nothing outside my mind to abandon me. My daughter is part of me and I cannot lose her and she cannot take herself from me.

Is it true that my daughter abandoned me? No. It cannot be true. The only explanation for my feeling of abandonment must be the mistaken thoughts of guilt and fear in my mind, and they are not real either. I chose the Atonement and allowed those beliefs to be transformed. From that healed place, I called her, not in fear but in love. I invited her company and she gladly accepted.

Not only had nothing really happened in my mind except that I believed a thought that wasn’t true, but nothing had happened in her mind either. It was just a sad story I had told myself. Then I told myself a happier story. But really, nothing happened at all. I keep trying to make something out of nothing, but at least this time I used the experience to take me further out of the dream.

What if she had really been angry with me, and was avoiding my company? What if she had refused my company? She would have been having a sad dream of her own in that case, but still it would only be a dream. How I react to someone else’s dream depends on what I choose to believe. If I choose the ego story of guilt, fear, abandonment, and betrayal to believe then I will suffer, but I cannot make any of that real through my suffering. I can only choose to suffer or choose not to suffer.

My prayer, my true prayer in these moments of confusion is not to have the circumstances changed, but to have my mind healed. I could ask that my mind be healed of its sadness, or the circumstances be altered to reflect something different. But a truer prayer, one that leads to awakening would be to let me be healed of the belief in betrayal.

If my pain tells me this is just not possible, I can disregard that answer.  It might well be impossible for Myron to believe differently about it, but it is not Myron that does the healing. It is the Holy Spirit that does the actual healing, and Myron only needs to desire the healing. This can be done. I can desire to be healed more than I desire to hold my brother hostage to my suffering. 

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text II. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 8, 10-30-13

I am attending a workshop with Nouk Sanchez. If I have time I may post, but I may not. I will be back on Nov 5.

I. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 8
8 I am sorry when my brothers do not share my decision to hear only one Voice, because it weakens them as teachers and as learners. Yet I know they cannot really betray themselves or me, and that it is still on them that I must build my church. There is no choice in this, because only you can be the foundation of God’s church. A church is where an altar is, and the presence of the altar is what makes the church holy. A church that does not inspire love has a hidden altar that is not serving the purpose for which God intended it. I must found His church on you, because those who accept me as a model are literally my disciples. Disciples are followers, and if the model they follow has chosen to save them pain in all respects, they are unwise not to follow him.

I am glad to know that even when I fail to share Jesus’ decision to hear only one Voice that I am not betraying him or myself. I weaken my ability to teach and to learn, but it’s ok, nothing important has changed. I am still the foundation upon which Jesus builds his church. The reason this hit home for me this morning is that I have been very conflicted lately when it comes to what is most important to me.

In the Manual for Teachers, Jesus said that it (the resurrection) is the relinquishment of all other purposes, all other interests, all other wishes and all other concerns. It is the single desire of the Son for the Father.  Sometimes, usually actually, I feel this and I know it is true for me and when it is not, I want it to be true for me, so I have willingness for it to be true.

Recently, however, I have been going through a process of allowing my mind to be healed that feels like it is very protracted. I want to let go of the belief that food is the cause of weight gain. Man! This is a hard one. I believe it as a concept, and it makes perfect sense when I think about it. Jesus says that the body is neutral, that it is an effect and effects can’t have effects. He says the body cannot even feel. He says that everything including the body is in my mind and that everything is there by my choice.

I see that the size and shape of my body are choices I make. If certain foods seem to affect my body it can only be because that is my choice. I choose to have a weight problem and I create the illusion of it happening every time I eat certain things. Why would I do that? It must be part of the unconscious guilt we all carry around.

It takes form in different ways and this is one of them. Probably other reasons too, but the most important thing for me to notice is that I but do this to myself and the source of the problem are my thoughts, the way it occurs is just the way I get the effect I want while convincing myself it is not my fault and I am just a victim.

That is clear enough for me to work with the concept, but moving it from the head to the heart is turning out to be more difficult than I would have imagined. Which brings me to today’s idea. I realized that my prayer for healing is taking me more deeply into the issue. Do I want to have a certain size and shape to my body? Is this my purpose, my interests, my concerns, my goal? Or is my purpose to let go of all other goals, and to give myself to the complete healing of my mind so that I can return my self to God?

I want to wake up! I want to remember God, and to remember my Self. I want to be a teacher for God all the time, not just in specific moments of the day. I want to help my brothers to wake up. These are things I really want. Until the next time I pass in front of a mirror and think, “I’ve really got to lose some weight.” Then I am right back to a different goal. 

This morning I realized something. I thought I was asking that my mind be healed about weight loss. What I really want is that my mind be healed of the belief that weight loss is my salvation. I really want to relinquish of all other purposes, all other interests, all other wishes and all other concerns, and remember that I have a single desire. I want to be with my Father with my whole mind. No more dreaming of separation, just total union with All That Is. That is my real goal.

In the meantime, I am still innocent even though I forget my goal and go running after lesser desires as if they will save me. This manic attempt to make something out of nothing is painful, and Jesus has offered me a way out of this pain. I would be crazy not to take it. I am still innocent and as I remember my innocence, I am happy to see these little forays into nothingness so that I can ask again that my mind be healed. No guilt, no fear, just a return to mindfulness and a return to the truth and a return to being a disciple of Jesus.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text II. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 7, 10-29-13

I. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 7
7 Your resurrection is your reawakening. I am the model for rebirth, but rebirth itself is merely the dawning on your mind of what is already in it. God placed it there Himself, and so it is true forever. I believed in it, and therefore accepted it as true for me. Help me to teach it to our brothers in the name of the Kingdom of God, but first believe that it is true for you, or you will teach amiss. My brothers slept during the so-called “agony in the garden,” but I could not be angry with them because I knew I could not be abandoned.

I almost overlooked the message in that first sentence. Jesus says that my resurrection is my reawakening. Jesus was resurrected from what seemed like death to show that there is no death and the Son of God cannot die. I will experience my own resurrection as I wake up from the dream. But wait! He says my resurrection is my reawakening. In another place in the Course Jesus says that when he ascended we were with him, and now it seems that when he resurrected, we were with him. We share the same mind.

It seems, though, that we must also experience the resurrection from our own point of view as well, and Jesus experiences it with us, just as we experienced his with him. Jesus has awakened from the dream but it is not complete until he awakens through all of us. This seems odd to us who are still dreaming we are separate, but again, we share the same mind.

Awakening should be easy since we are reborn as we remember what is already in our minds, but to do so, we must accept what is there. We must believe it. Jesus wants our help. He wants us to teach what is true, but we must believe it ourselves in order to teach it. We are innocent, every one of us and in every case, we are innocent. We are invulnerable and so cannot be hurt. We cannot be betrayed or abandoned. We are as God created us. This is true regardless of the stories we tell ourselves.

It seems so easy when Jesus puts it like this. We are, simply, as God created us. All we have to do is turn away from everything we think we know and everything we think we see, feel, experience in any way. We only have to stop believing our eyes and ears and mind. We have to give up all our favorite victim stories. Easy peasy, right?

As it turns out, it’s not so easy to do. Even those who were following Jesus found it impossible to believe that no one was guilty. They felt guilty for falling asleep in the Garden. They felt guilty for abandoning and betraying Jesus, even as he was teaching them that he cannot be betrayed or abandoned. But this is the lesson. This is the way we wake up. We simply accept as true that we are as God created us.

Really, how hard can this be?  Surely, it is harder to maintain the illusion that we can be different than we are created. I am not making a literal story of being crucified, but I do crucify myself in little ways all the time to prove that I am separate and a victim and not at all like the Divine being God created in His Own image.

Sunday my car started acting up and I will have to take it to be fixed. The dealership can’t even look at it until Thursday. Then my ceiling fan broke and now I will have to find someone to replace it. There are other little things around the house that are going to have to be fixed as well. I can’t do these things myself and the ego thinks these are all disasters.

It also thinks I am a victim and these problems prove it. The ego says I will never see myself any other way and I am guilty for that. But the Holy Spirit speaks, too. He says that these are no big deal, that they are simply effects of the vestiges of the belief in victimization. “Let the belief in guilt and victimhood be healed,” He says. “Just another opportunity to heal the mind for the Sonship, that’s all.”

He tells me that these effects are meaningless, but He will use them to heal my mind and then I can teach perfection for Him. I feel kind of sheepish as I get down from the cross. I still forget the truth and need a gentle reminder from time to time. The Holy Spirit doesn’t mind. That is His function.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text II. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 6, 10-28-13

1. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 6
6 As I have said before, “As you teach so shall you learn.” If you react as if you are persecuted, you are teaching persecution. This is not a lesson a Son of God should want to teach if he is to realize his own salvation. Rather, teach your own perfect immunity, which is the truth in you, and realize that it cannot be assailed. Do not try to protect it yourself, or you are believing that it is assailable. You are not asked to be crucified, which was part of my own teaching contribution. You are merely asked to follow my example in the face of much less extreme temptations to misperceive, and not to accept them as false justifications for anger. There can be no justification for the unjustifiable. Do not believe there is, and do not teach that there is. Remember always that what you believe you will teach. Believe with me, and we will become equal as teachers.

I will always teach what I believe and what I teach will be reinforced as a belief. And I am always teaching. I don’t want to teach that I can be persecuted so I must stop believing in persecution. I do this by being vigilant for thoughts of persecution and looking at that belief with the Holy Spirit. I then ask for healing and accept the healing.

It is very simple and easy to do and I do it all the time, except when I get hooked by some situation that still seems real to me. These are the times when I choose to justify an exception to the rule. When I believe I have been attacked, and then try to protect myself, I teach myself and everyone else that I am vulnerable. It is not God’s Will that I be vulnerable and so it can’t be true, but if I protect myself, that is what I teach myself that is what I will learn and what will be real for me.

Every time I turn around I see an ad recommending that I rush out and get a shot to protect me from shingles. I see it in magazines, at the pharmacy. My customer got shingles and did a good job of scaring me with his tale of woe. Each time I see a reminder to get immunized against shingles I feel afraid and want to do it. Then I feel safe and peaceful about the whole thing, and I remember that my safety lies in my defenselessness. I am conflicted because I am listening first to the ego voice and then to the Voice for God.

I can get the shot of I want to. Getting the shot will not make me guilty. However, getting the shot will teach me that I am vulnerable. Is this what I want to learn and to teach? What I am doing now is watching my thoughts about it, watching as fear speaks to me and as I turn from fear to hear the Holy Spirit. I ask for the Atonement in this situation.

This is my job, my part in the Atonement. I look with the Holy Spirit, I ask for healing, I accept the Atonement. I do this as I am able and I continue to do it when it becomes obvious my willingness is still weak. I trust that as I do my part, the Holy Spirit will do His part. Avoiding shingles through a shot or through mind healing is not the purpose; allowing my mind to be healed as I look at my fears and doubts is the purpose. Being a teacher equal to Jesus is my purpose, so I am giving my willingness to believe as Jesus believes.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text,I. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 5

I. The Message of the Crucifixion, Paragraph 5
5 I have made it perfectly clear that I am like you and you are like me, but our fundamental equality can be demonstrated only through joint decision. You are free to perceive yourself as persecuted if you choose. When you do choose to react that way, however, you might remember that I was persecuted as the world judges, and did not share this evaluation for myself. And because I did not share it, I did not strengthen it. I therefore offered a different interpretation of attack, and one which I want to share with you. If you will believe it, you will help me teach it.

I am like Jesus and he is like me. Of course, we are alike as spirit. When I am identified with ego we are not alike as he has stopped believing in the ego. No matter that I am not the ego and that I am like Jesus, I will not feel like I am spirit and act like I am spirit until I make the decision that Jesus made. I believe it is possible to do this because Jesus did it, and because he did it, it is done and the only thing for me to do is to choose to remember. Shoot, he even gave me an instruction manual through A Course in Miracles.

Right now in the Course, Jesus is helping us to understand what he wanted us to learn from his crucifixion, and it is very different from what I learned on my own. What I took away from the crucifixion story is that God wants me to suffer on his behalf and I have good reason to fear Him. No matter how blameless my life, in the end I will wind up on the cross. I also learned that no matter how much I suffer at the hands of another I must be forgiving. Martyrdom is the goal.

What I have learned from the Course is a much different interpretation of the crucifixion. Jesus meant it to be such an extreme example that I could not miss the meaning. He must have sighed in frustration at my obtuseness. Or maybe not, maybe he expected to have to come back with further explanations.

His intention was to show that no matter what someone does to the body, nothing has been done. Since nothing has been done, there is no reason to feel persecuted. There was no victim in his story, and if even in the most extreme of circumstances there was no victim, then there must be a better way to perceive the circumstances of my life.

I am finally learning this lesson. I still feel persecuted sometimes, but I always know this is not true, and I ask that my mind be healed. There is never a circumstance, so far, which leaves me thinking that this time I really am a victim, no matter how I feel. When I have that feeling of being victimized, feeling sad about it and afraid, wanting to blame someone, I recognize it for what it is, the ego mind interpreting circumstances according to its beliefs. That in no way makes it true.

When I was married I really thought I was a victim to my husband. I thought his behavior caused me to be unhappy. I knew the Course said that I was never a victim of the world I see, but I made my circumstances special. I just couldn’t see how he wasn’t at fault. All the evidence pointed to his guilt.

However, as I continued my study of the Course, allowing my mind to be healed, my faith in Jesus overcame my desire to be a victim and to have someone to blame. I kept bringing all my proof to the Holy Spirit and asking Him to correct my thinking. It took awhile for me to become willing to accept the Atonement in this case, but eventually I did so. Now I can’t see him as guilty. If he isn’t guilty, I am not a victim.

By letting go of my victim stories one at a time as I was ready, I slowly began to realize that I can’t be victimized. Only a body with a story can be victimized, and I am spirit. I am beyond stories. I can tell stories, and I can believe my stories, but eventually, I must let the stories go and be what I am, the teller of stories not the victim of the stories.

Because I am more aware now, my victim stories are generally more subtle and I recognize them as I notice anxiety in myself. My kids and I have busy lives and don’t always see and talk to each other every day, but we have patterns and when a pattern is broken I notice. My youngest daughter had not called me lately and when I texted her she answered but didn’t seem engaged in the conversation.

I didn’t pay much attention at first, but the ego questioned this behavior and worried at it with thoughts like, she must be mad at me and I wonder what I did to make her not call. The ego brought up all my past transgressions and feelings of unworthiness. I felt sad and defeated. I noticed all these thoughts and all these feelings and I knew they were not true but I also felt them. That’s very strange, but it’s the way it happens now as I waver in my certainty and return to listening to the ego voice instead of only listening to the Voice for God.

This was not the focus of my attention, but it was like a gnat flying around my head that I tried to ignore, telling myself it wasn’t true. Once in a while I would think about her and the doubts and fears would come up, but then I would get back to my business as usual. Ignoring the ego mind as it drums up a case for its beliefs is not a good idea. It doesn’t go away and the story just gets bigger in the mind. I had reached the point that I was sure she was angry about something and it was just so unfair. I had worked up a good case of being unfairly treated, persecuted by my own daughter and condemned to being unloved.

The ridiculousness of the situation finally snapped me out of my foolishness and I stopped ignoring the situation. I sat down with Spirit and told him everything I was thinking. I told him what was happening and my ego interpretation of it. I asked that He heal my mind about this, and that He guide me to the right action.

Yesterday, without the burden of feeling like a victim, I was able to act out of love and not fear. I thought how much I missed going out to eat with my daughter and that we hadn’t done it in a long time. I texted her an invitation which she enthusiastically answered. It was like I was never her victim… because I wasn’t. Once again, I had but done it to myself.

This story might have had an altogether different ending if I had fallen for the ego interpretation of things and not questioned my beliefs. What if I went to her with my fearful beliefs and insisted she own up to her unfair persecution of me. Even if I had gently hinted at her guilt and her need to make amends, I would have been teaching her that we can be persecuted and this is not what I want to teach, because this is not what I want to learn. I am grateful that, while I can still be distracted by the ego, I cannot long be fooled by it. I look forward to the day when I only laugh at the ego.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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