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On Being Falsely Accused

Someone I know accused me of something I didn?t do. In the ego, being falsely accused brings up so much fear. First, if it is a false accusation there is nothing for me to fix. I can?t make it right. I can try to argue the point, but even the ego knows that too much arguing just makes it more real. ?Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.? So it just sits there, unresolved and seeming to taunt me.

I find it hard to look away, and the more I look the worse I feel. I feel that I have been attacked and since I can find no other way to defend myself, I return the attack. There must be something wrong with this person. If his accusation is so patently false, he must be projecting. He is showing his true colors. He said about me what he really feels about himself. Oh, fool that he is, he just tells the world his secrets when accuses me!

Strangely, though I feel completely justified in my attack, I do not feel better. I do not understand this. It makes perfect sense. I took the high road in not pointing out his error to him. I saw what was really happening. Why don?t I feel better? Why don?t I feel vindicated? Why is his accusation still just sitting there taunting me? And why is my justification sitting beside it?

Now not only do I feel diminished by his attack, I feel guilty because I found my brother wrong. Not voicing my judgment doesn?t lessen the attack as I thought it would. This is all his fault. If he had not made that totally unnecessary and untrue remark, I wouldn?t feel so bad. Oh my gosh! Did I just say that? Did I just give my power to him? Did I just make myself his victim? Cancel, cancel, I take it all back!

Oh lord, this is so confusing. I hate that man. I wish I didn?t know him and had never met him. It just gets worse and worse the more I think about it. OK, Holy Spirit, I need help. How do I get out of this? I hate this conflict. I don?t want conflict in my life. Please help me to unravel this.

?Myron, when you feel diminished it is because you think you can be diminished. You feel that the Son of God can be chipped away a little at a time by stray words flung about carelessly by others. I want to gently remind you that your wholeness is protected by God and has been so protected since your creation. Nothing can be taken from it. You are free, however, to experience yourself as less than if you so choose, but it doesn?t make it true. It is only a thought. You are equally free to change your mind about that thought, and choose to feel your wholeness instead. Then you will be experiencing the truth of who you are.?

?If you choose to experience your wholeness, you will be teaching your brother his wholeness without ever uttering a word. If he does not choose to look at your wholeness now, and he does not choose to experience his wholeness now, it does not matter. The gift was given and will wait for him. All gifts given through Me are given to all, and so the truth about you has been reinforced. As you continue to use all of the circumstances in your story to practice this, the truth will become more real to you than the ego stories you have written.?

?Holy Spirit, this feels so good. I feel much lighter and freer without the conflict. I don?t understand how I could have been so confused. It is really very simple. But what I have seen is that I am easily tempted back into the drama of the ego. Sometimes I hold onto the drama for a long time before I become willing to let it go. I feel very guilty about this, and a little scared, too. I feel that I can?t trust myself not to self-destruct. What if I get so far into the drama I can?t find my way out? What if I refuse to see the truth??

?Holy child of God, you are completely untouched by the play of your mind. You can only pretend to be hurt. Play all you want for as long as you like. Pain is self-limiting. You will always stop when the pain becomes unbearable. You have already spent too much time in joy to tolerate much pain, and now you stop yourself soon after you have begun. Continue to come to me with your errant thoughts and I will correct them for you. I will not hold your ?evil? deeds against you because God does not. You need not hold anything against yourself either.?

?There is nothing to be afraid of, precious one. If you become afraid of what you make with your thoughts, invite Me to join you in the experience. This is the same as exposing them to the light and the light will dispel the darkness of your thoughts. Do not be discouraged that you must repeat the process. That is what the world is for, to give you many opportunities to practice moving from darkness to light so that, slowly, you may become accustomed to the light, and learn that it is really the light you want.?

?Thank you, Holy Spirit.?

 

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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VENGEANCE

You can only see within another that which you see in your self. This holds true for what you see in God. If you see an angry, vengeful God, then it is because there is anger and a desire for vengeance within you. There is a phrase from the bible that says ??vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.? When you hear those words, does some person come to mind? Do you see a picture of the one who wronged you? Do you get a little thrill of righteous indignation, and just punishment when you think of God avenging you?

I have experienced this. It is not something I am interested in now, but in the past, I certainly have seen a God of vengeance and was elated in the thought that all these sinners were going to get theirs. They weren?t going to get away with anything. Some were obvious sinners; the Hitlers, the Ben Ladens, the murderers of the world. Others were on my own personal hit list. The ones who insulted me, hurt my feelings, got the job I wanted, the man I wanted, offended me in any way. And I saw God as my own personal hit-man. They were wrong, and they were going to pay for it.

Does it sound funny to think of it that way? Think about your own life. Has someone sinned against you? Has someone been unfair, or hurt someone you love? Do you see them suffering for their sin? Do you feel that it is unfair that they should get away with this, and do you see the scales of justice being balanced by God? God as hit-man, making the wrong-doers suffer for their sins, and we get to make a list for him to consider. Good grief, what a vision of God!

I decided that vengeance is truly God?s and so I gave it to Him. He thanked me for my gift of trust that He knew what to do with vengeance, and then He taught me to love instead. I began to see my brother differently. For instance, instead of seeing an ex-husband as the cause of my distress, I saw him as my dear brother in Christ. Instead of seeing him as a selfish, self-centered person intent on ruining my life, I saw his inner wounded child begging to be loved.

When I gave my thoughts of vengeance to God, He gave me the gift of vision. I gave Him my thoughts of being attacked by others, and He showed me their true self. I gave Him my fear of being attacked and He showed me the love and support I receive from many every day of my life. I gave Him my rage against those who threaten me, and He gave me the peace of God.

I am not entirely free of the need for vengeance, though I am not so overt in my attacks as I used to be. Now it is more subtle. I have learned to cover my attack with softer words. Someone says something harsh to me, and I think to myself, ?They just don?t know any better.? That is an attack and attack calls for vengeance. I tell myself that I am not angry. I understand. In truth, if I see this person as less than me, I have attacked him.

I say instead, ?Ok, he hurt me, but I will forgive him.? This is an attack. If I see my brother as wrong, I have attacked him. I have, in my mind at least, lowered this person from the perfection in which he was created, and made him less. That is an attack. This is a vengeful act.

It may seem to you that as long as you keep your dark secret to yourself, then it hurts no one, but this is not at all true. Our minds are connected. We can feel from another what remains unsaid. We may not be conscious of the details, but we feel the judgment, and the lack of love.

Another thing that happens is that when we see another as less than, we see ourselves that way. Just as I cannot see in another what I don?t see in myself, I make true for myself what I believe about another. In our deepest hearts, we know that we are connected in a way that we don?t see with our eyes. When we believe that someone is awful, we have opened the possibility of awfulness in ourselves.

As we teach, we learn. This is the reason I have become vigilant of my thoughts. I want for my brother only what I want for myself. I will not believe about you anything I would not embrace fully as my own. And, it is not necessary that I believe evil of anyone.

When I look at what they do, it may seem to be very compelling evidence that my brother is wrong, but in our creation God called us good, and what proves God wrong must be a lie. I have done many things in my life I am not proud of, but I don?t condemn myself for them. I made errors, but I accept God?s judgment of me. He judged me good, and God does not change his mind. If I act less than good, that is just an error and easily undone. I am still good.

This is the way I look at my brother. He may do things that are not good, but that does not change creation. He has simply made errors. When I find myself in judgment, which Jesus was very adamant that I am not qualified to do, I ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking about this.

All judgment, even the most benign, is attack, and all attack is a form of vengeance. I am, in effect, saying that I judge you as falling short, and I condemn you for it. Who am I to judge a child of God? To judge God?s creation, is to judge God as a creator. Now, not only have I made of God a vengeful God, but I have made of Him a faulty Creator. I have seen in my brother faults, and so I see in myself the potential for faults, and what I see in myself, I see in God. I have now created God in my own image.

To put God back on His throne, and to see Him as Love, which He is, I must experience correction of my thinking. Correction must come from the Holy Spirit. Left to myself, I am going to be blinded by what my eyes seem to tell me. I will see only everyone?s mistakes, and will attempt to forgive through the ego, which will only compound the error. I will try to change my behavior, try to act like I believe the best of them, or that I do not hold their evil deeds against them. This will not work. True healing comes only from the Holy Spirit, through my willingness to be corrected.

It can be amazingly hard to give up my judgments, my attacks, my vengeance. They bring me nothing but unhappiness, and yet I cling to them as if they were salvation itself. And that is the cause of my reluctance. I do believe that through judgment and attack, my vengeance saves me. I believe that if I truly forgave, if I really believed that my brother is completely innocent of any wrong doing, I would be stripped of my armor.

Where is my protection then? If my brother acts badly, and I don?t acknowledge his sin, then am I somehow open to harm? And if I recognize his sin, and condemn him for it, am I somehow protected from that sin? Or perhaps I feel the need to use my brother as the screen where I project my own sins. If my brother is innocent, does that leave only me to carry the guilt?

This is only the ego?s insane and convoluted thinking. In truth, I am completely innocent. You are completely innocent. This is God?s judgment of us, and it will not change. You, precious child of a most perfect and holy God, cannot be wrong. No matter what you do, you have the promise of God?s absolute and total love, because God is Love. Love can only be itself; it cannot be anything else. It cannot be condemnation, or vengeance.

Because I am created in the image of God, I can be only love. I am free to imagine I am something else and to act out my imagination. But my creation is held untouched and protected by my creator, and my imagination may cause me untold misery, but it does not change me. Because I am tired of playing like I am less than God created me, and am tired of the pain this brings me, I am vigilant for the truth. I may have some resistance to releasing judgment, but I will eventually do so because I trust God to offer me something better.

Vengeance is truly God?s. Give it to Him. He knows what to do with it. If only you release those thoughts to Him He will transform them. He will not wrest them from you, or in anyway coerce you into giving them up. His love for you and His faith in you is great. You are free to live in any way you please. If you want the dark and depressing life of a vengeful and angry person, God will allow you to have that. But always He stands ready to take it from you and give you, instead, a life of light and joy.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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I CAN ONLY REMEMBER

What I really understand now is that I can neither learn nor teach anything of any real importance. Here is how this finally dawned on me:

I had suddenly understood something important that had, up to then, eluded me. I was so excited and couldn?t wait to tell other Course friends. When the person I first told about it obviously didn?t understand what I was saying, I thought it was because I had not found the right words. I tried again. Again, she understood, but not in the way I meant; not at the same level. I started to try again when finally I heard my Inner Guidance chuckling at my silliness. What she heard and would continue to hear, in spite of my clear explanation, was what fit with her own concepts.

The truth is not something I learn. It is something I remember. If I can?t learn it, I can?t teach it. I wondered for a moment how I remembered it; what was the trigger? What came to me is that I remember when I remove the blocks to remembering. On my website I have a page on which I describe some of my favorite processes for doing this. No one process is better than another. None of them is the magic formula. They are just useful tools to remove the blocks of Love?s awareness.

Every time I forgive, I remove a block. Every time I remove a block, I remember a little more. Everything I seek is right here in me quietly residing behind the wall of resistance I have built to keep it out of my awareness. I have been chipping away at that wall for a long time. Sometimes when a big chunk comes away, I am frightened by the light that comes through and try to push the block back in place. It is a hopeless job. Once a block is out, it is out. I can only give myself time to adjust to the light and soon I see it as a welcome change.

If I cannot teach others to have what I am gaining, what am I supposed to do? I thought it was my job to save the world? The answer I got is that I save the world by saving myself. The ego part of me doesn?t like this. The answer seems to be saying that I (the little ego I) doesn?t have a very big role to play. I remember enough of the truth to laugh at this and be very glad it is true. The ego-self has done nothing good for me in all of its existence. It is not going to start now.

I think that within the illusion, I can only shine with whatever light I have uncovered in my mind, and allow this light to be seen by whoever is sent my way. I can say things and write things, and maybe some of that will remind someone else of a dimly remembered truth. If so, they may be motivated to dig a little deeper at their own wall of resistance. That is all I can do. The words, though, are meaningless unless I live them. It is not my words, but my life that points the way.

Holy Spirit, be my Guide today, that I might shine brightly, a beacon of Light and Love to all who are looking for it. I offer to You, every wrong minded thought that it might be corrected and another block removed from my wall of resistance. This morning, I am ready to shine!

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Being of Service

Sometimes it seems hard to know how best to be of service. Someone is in crisis, or simply processing and I wonder, ?How can I really help? At what point will my helpfulness become intrusive?? What about other times when the need is not so obvious? I started thinking about this because of something that happened while I was working. I was helping a customer with some paper work he had to submit to a governmental agency. I was so intent on what we were doing and with getting through so I could make my next appointment that it wasn?t until I was leaving that I picked up on his discomfort.

I?m pretty sure he had a personal problem that he may have wanted to talk about, but I missed the chance to offer him that opportunity. He keeps popping up in my thoughts. I decided to hold him in God?s healing light and to know that he is loved and perfectly protected. In linear time, it may be too late, but time isn?t the truth so it is never too late. The Holy Spirit is not hampered by our ego laws. Healing moves across the imaginary borders of time easily, completely unimpeded by false ideas like past and present.

I regret not being present in the moment I was with this man. If I had been, I would have asked for guidance, and if led to do so, would have opened the way for him to share. I would have stepped back and allowed the Holy Spirit to lead the way. Then I would have known what to say, and how to be of service. For the most part, I think that is the secret to serving; just to be aware and open to guidance.

I also think that I can be helpful simply because that is my intention. There are so many little ways in which we can serve. I was checking into a hotel and was tired and distracted. The clerk was kind and friendly, and I immediately felt renewed. My energy level went up, and I felt myself smiling gratefully at her. Such a little thing, being kind and friendly, easy to do, costs nothing, and yet we might never know how important it is to another person. Perhaps it is not such a small thing after all. A lifetime of smiles and kind words would be a lifetime of healing. I would love to know that my lifetime could be summed up as one of kindness.

Being of service would indeed be difficult if I had to figure out what to say and to whom, but that is not my part in it. I only have to be ready and willing to step back so that the Holy Spirit can lead me. I set my intention by starting the day with a prayer from A Course in Miracles.
  I am here only to be truly helpful.
This is a perfect beginning. It is here that I set my intention. In this statement, I have decided my purpose and made clear how I will respond to whatever happens. I will be truly helpful. I have always found it easier to be with smaller groups of people, and when there are too many, I feel overwhelmed. So when I went to a meeting last night where there would be 30 or so folks, I reminded myself of my purpose by saying just the one easy to remember line; I am here only to be truly helpful. So I don?t have a lot of things to figure out as I interact with the people at the meeting, because whatever their story is, I only need to do or say whatever would be truly helpful.

The second sentence of the prayer says:
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
When I think about this, I feel tears coming into my eyes. Did I think that this meeting was just the last thing on my schedule, something to get through so that I could go home? Perhaps this is true in the ego perspective of my life, but in truth, God sent me here. I am here to represent Him. What was a mundane purpose, seen in the light of truth, is now recognized as lofty indeed.

The prayer goes on to say:
I do not have to worry about what to say or what
  to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.
Well, that is a relief. I do want to serve God through serving my brother, but what qualifies me to do that? How could I know that would prepare me for this? How could I know what is best for everyone in any situation?

I knew a woman who was often very wise and who seemed always to know the right thing to do. I liked her very much, and since I was quite young and had little experience of life to draw on, appreciated her wisdom and the quiet authority with which she spoke. But then, if she noticed that someone was going to change their mind and act according to what she said, she would say no, that?s for me, you have to decide for yourself what to do. She was certain for herself, but didn?t want to take the responsibility of influencing others.

If I speak only for my ego-self, I will feel the same way. As a young woman, I was disconcerted by her uncertainty, but as I grew older, I began to understand her conflict. I, too, sensed that I had no way of knowing what was needed by someone else, and yet I also sensed that I was there for a reason. A Course in Miracles helped me to understand that while I am here for a reason, I am not here on my own authority, nor am I left to make these decisions on my own. The Holy Spirit will tell me what to say and what to do if I let Him.

The next line perfectly expresses my relief at not being on my own, and my decision to be directed. It says:
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing
  He goes there with me.
This speaks to acceptance. In the past, I have tried to accept what was, and it has been an uphill battle. The ego-self wants its way. Its focus is on the comfort and protection of the body, and will fight to achieve that goal. It is an impossible goal, and only serves to keep me in conflict and discontent. On the other hand, trying is an ego concept, and so in the end, will always fail.

In this line of the prayer, I am offered an alternative that works. I know that God goes with me everywhere I go, so I am perfectly protected and perfectly loved. I have no concern where that may be, because my safety and my joy are not dependent on the place, or the situation, or on who may be there with me. All that I need in every circumstance is provided because I am with God. I am content.

And finally:
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.
This is what it is all about. God does not send me to a person for my entertainment, or to help me pass the time. I have a purpose, and that purpose is to heal. By keeping God in the lead, I learn to heal. Because this is true, every encounter has the potential to be holy. There are many ways in which this plays out in our stories, but it is always about seeing the innocence. I was in a meeting when someone I don?t like showed up. I have such a hard time being around this man. Even though I was uncomfortable with my judgment, I had a hard time releasing it. Later I asked the Holy Spirit what I should do. I just didn?t know how to handle this in a way that was healing. How this person acted, and what he said kept engaging my attention.

The next morning the first thing I thought when I woke up is that this man is perfectly innocent. Nothing he says or does has any impact on his innocence which was guaranteed in his creation. I wondered if that could be all there was to it. Yes! I understood that this is all I need to know about this man. I went to bed blaming myself for my judgments, and blaming him for putting me in this position. I woke up in forgiveness, and discovered that I am as innocent as he is. This relationship is healed. There is nothing I can do that is more important than this. I have a T-shirt that has this ACIM quote: The holiest of all spots on earth is where an ancient hatred becomes a present love. And how could I do anything but love that innocent child of God.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Ho?opnopnono

I received an email that changed my life. In this email I heard about a Hawaiian healing process called Ho?opnopnono.  The email tells about how Dr. Hew Len used this process to heal an entire ward of criminally insane people without ever seeing any of the patients. He did this by healing the part of him that created them. He called this taking total responsibility.

I was deeply touched by the truth I read in this email. Understanding that I am not a victim of the world I see, and knowing that I am responsible for my life is one of the most important things I have ever learned. Being responsible means there is no one to blame for what happens in my life, and that is so freeing. Dr. Len helped me to take this idea to a new level. He says that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life-simply because it is in your life-is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Because this is true, it becomes my responsibility to heal everything in my life, not just to work on those things which I personally contribute like the things I say to people which affect them and so cause a reaction that impacts my life, but literally everything in my life. This makes perfect sense. There is nothing out there. I made the whole thing up in my mind. Everything I see is a reflection of my belief system. If I don?t like it, I need to think differently. I know this, but I had never considered it in such a broad context. If I felt free before, I don?t even know what to call how I feel now.

Dr. Len said that the way he did the work at the hospital was to look at the patient?s files and then say ?I?m sorry? and ?I love you.? Joe Vitale, the creator of the email, said that when he used this process he didn?t even say it to anyone in particular; he was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within himself what was creating the outer circumstance.

I was so excited to begin this work, and I had a perfect opportunity to do so. I had recently met a young woman with whom I had a conflicted relationship from the very beginning. I had no idea what the problem was, but I could tell she was experiencing the same thing. I asked the Holy Spirit to look at her ?file? with me. I saw that I was seeing some personality traits that I didn?t like.

Then I asked the Holy Spirit to look at my ?file? with me and to show me what I needed to see. I realized that I, too, have some of those same traits. They showed up in different ways, but they were definitely there. I saw that I didn?t like seeing that in myself, and that instead of asking for healing, I had projected them outward. In this way I could avoid experiencing the discomfort of guilt by making it seem that someone else was the guilty party. I felt very sorry that I did this, and withdrew those projections. I wanted them back so that I could ask the Holy Spirit to help me to see them differently.

I said that I was sorry. I said, ?I love you.? I did this over and over and soon I began to feel this deep connection with the Holy Spirit. I began to feel a sense of love and peace flow through me. It was a great feeling and I knew that I was healed. Suddenly my phone rang with a number I didn?t recognize. I was really surprised to see that it was the very person I had chosen to do the process around. I was surprised at the timing, and even more surprised that she would call me. That she even had my phone number was startling (and that turned out to be a miracle story in itself). By the time we had talked for thirty minutes, it was obvious that we both felt the healing.

I continued to use this process. I was at a business conference last week. A friend called to talk about how the latest terrorist activity in England would affect our travel plans. I didn?t know anything about it because I don?t watch television or listen to news reports. I decided to check it out. As I listened to the newscaster go over and over the same report, I began to feel the fear grow in me. I remembered why I quit watching these things, and I turned it off. The problem with fear is that it is like a virus; once you become infected with it, it spreads all through your thoughts.

I started thinking about my son?s back problem. He was going to the doctor soon, and I was worried about what would be said. I remembered that my daughter had called with an update on her house which was still being repaired from the hurricane damage. The costs were higher than expected and I worried that she would not be able to afford to do all the work needed. The fear thoughts were like a program running in the back of my mind as I went about my business at the busy conference.

Soon I was in a funk, without really knowing why. I did know that I had lost my peace and I wanted it back. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see what needed healing. Very quickly I realized where the problem started. I noticed thoughts like, ?Some of these religious fanatics are really insane. No one is safe from them. It is just a matter of time before they succeed in another act of terror here in the US.? Then I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see what it was within myself that created terrorists. This is where the problem occurred, and this is where it must be corrected.

Together we looked at the terrorist file. I saw rage and fear, and intolerance. Then we looked at my file and I saw the same thing. I have moments of intense rage. Usually, I suppress it, but when I act on it I am a terrorist, too. I may not blow up buildings when I am enraged, but I cause pain and destroy relationships when I am acting out my anger. It is not a lesser act of terrorism because no one dies. It is only an ego device to camouflage rage as anger, annoyance, or frustration, but in truth no matter what the form looks like, if it is not God it is ego. Those are the only two choices.

I expressed my remorse at having projected my rage and intolerance in the form of terrorists. I asked the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking and to heal my mind. I expressed my love toward all. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me know that each terrorist is completely innocent no matter what his actions. I am completely innocent no matter what my actions, or even my thoughts. I was surprised at how quickly I regained my peace. I felt light and I smiled a lot. Ahhh!

Another way this process has been useful concerns body issues. Anyone who has read much of what I have written knows that I have a core issue around my body weight. I just bought some new fall clothes and before I could wear any of them, I gained a few pounds. I was really disgusted with myself, and then I thought about my tendency to rename my fury to make it sound more acceptable. So I really let go and said what I was thinking. ?I hate my body. I hate my weakness. I hate what I do to myself.? Whew, that was even hard to write. No wonder I prefer to project this kind of thing.

I asked the Holy Spirit to help me with this. What I got is that I am never going to heal anything through hatred. Healing takes place only through Love. So I used the Ho?opnopnono process with this also. I apologized for my projections and decided to stop blaming everything outside myself. I decided to accept that it is not food that makes me gain weight. It is not my mom?s fault for passing me the fat gene. I asked the Holy Spirit to look at this with me and help me see what it is within myself that creates this outer appearance. What is it within myself that needs to be healed? 

Then I started saying I love you. I love every part of myself, including the part that projected the guilt that translated into excess body. I love you. I love you. Now every time I have an unloving thought about myself, I remember to love myself instead. When I find it difficult to do this, I ask the Holy Spirit to teach me how to love. I don?t have absolute clarity about what it is in me that needs to be healed, but I do absolutely know that it is through love that it will be healed.

Have you ever used this process? I would love to hear about your experiences with it, or perhaps you have another healing process you like. If so, I would like to hear about that as well. My email address is .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) I look forward to hearing from you.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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The Blessings Just Keep Coming

One of the most valuable things about the experience I recently had with my mom, (see Seeing Mom Clearly) was watching what happens when I withdraw my projections. I was sad to see her in that position of course, but most of my discomfort was in picturing myself in her place and also my guilt over all the things I did and said that I could not make amends for. So I was projecting my fear and guilt and anger onto her.

Discovering that she was not suffereing as I had supposed, made it easier to stop projecting and allowed me to see her differently. Well, over the last few days, I have come to realize that I have withdrawn ALL the projections I had put on her in our life together. I see her clean and beautiful now, and so completely innocent. I find that I long to visit again just to be nearer that lovely spirit.

I am filled with a sense of excitement at the possibilities. If I withdraw my projections from other people in my life, how will they look to me? As I do this for more and more people, will this feeling of joy expand? Will I begin to experience myself as innocent as well?

Holy Spirit, I don’t know how to do this by myself. I invite you into my mind and ask that you correct my projection thoughts about the people in my life. I am willing to relinquish the need I thought I had to make them guilty. I long to see the innocence in them instead. I long to know my own innocence.

Thank you.

 

 

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Seeing Mom Clearly

I recently read about a new speaker scheduled for the ACIM Conference in San Francisco next February. Her name is Tammy Holmes and she is a spiritual coach as well as a gifted sensitive. For reasons I didn?t understand, I felt very strongly guided to call Tammy for a reading. So I went to her web page, stayawakeproductions.com, and got her phone number.

She helped me see a lot of things clearly and also shared with me some great info about my kids and future relationships. However, there were two very important things she told me. One of them was about my mom.

Mom is in a nursing home experiencing Alzheimer?s. I have always found it very hard to visit her because she doesn’t remember me, can’t communicate, and seems to be in such a sad confused state. I never visit that I don’t rush out in tears.

Tammy told me she was speaking to Mom and that she wanted to assure me that she is not in that body. Mom says that she is glad not to be in the body because she didn’t think she could stand it. She says that she is working on things and that even though she is not in the body, she enjoys my visits because she can feel my energy. She loves me very much and wishes we had had more time together.

I felt so much better. It was so good to know that Mom was not suffering the indignities inflicted by Alzheimer?s. It was such a relief to know that outside that body she still knows me and loves me. I am glad to know that she is not hanging around out of fear of dieing, but because she still has work to do.

I went by to see her the next day. Without all my projections of fear and guilt placed on her I could see her clearly. I saw that her eyes were glazed over; there simply wasn’t anyone home. I stood there wondering how to best be with her. I no longer felt the need to entertain or distract her with stories she could not relate to anyway. I no longer felt the need to make inane conversation just to nervously fill time before I could feel justified in getting out of there.

I held her hand and told her how much I loved her. I bent over and kissed her. She turned her head and looked me straight in the eye. She said very clearly, “love you.” It was such a dramatic change and my heart was so touched. It took real effort for her to get the words out, and her eyes were so clear and focused on me. Then she mumbled something I could not really understand except for the word gratitude. I told her that I was grateful for her, too, and that she had been a wonderful mom. She smiled at me, then turned her head and went away.

I will never dread visiting my mom again.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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