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A LETTER TO MY FRIENDS

Hello to all of you from down here in hurricane land. If you are wondering if the media reports about what is going on are overblown, let me assure you that they only begin to cover the horror of this illusion.

However, when we set up fearful illusions of this magnitude, we are giving ourselves opportunities of the same magnitude. We are giving so many of us the opportunity to forgive on a grand scale, and to do so repeatedly. As soon as the horror subsides somewhat, I am sure the finger pointing will begin. At the moment, everyone is giving from the heart and this is bringing people together. The problem is, a month down the road when the refugees are still here, still reminding us of our frailty and vulnerability, will resentment set in?

As it is going on in the moment, it is a challenge to be in the illusion while not of the illusion. The church I work with down here is assisting several families. It is a financial burden for such a small church with so few resources, but everyone agreed to do it anyway. A request for financial assistance was met warmly by many who are “seemingly” untouched by what is happening. (Thanks to all of you who are helping) I am seeing a coming together of the members of the church and an increased sense of unity and the importance of having a spiritual community. Everyone is stretching their spiritual muscles in many ways; the ways that seem lovely to see, as well as through the conflicts that arise.

As I became aware of all that had happened and continues to happen, I realized that I was feeling a lot of anxiety. I am doing 905 again and there is a meditation that I used to help me rise above. I am also becoming aware of how hard it is to stay in that place as I am daily confronted with so much misery, pain, and confusion. I think that if I remember to bring even half of these wrong-minded thoughts the the Holy Spirit for correction, I will experience a real time collapse, and come out of it much further ahead when it all ends. Please keep me and all of the others in your prayers. There is just as much opportunity for growth and blessings in this situation as there is for fear. We are helped to choose for God when we are supported by our brother in that effort. I feel so lucky to have the Pathways family to support me. If you would like to contribute monetarily to this relief effort please contact me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Love to you all,
Myron

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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The Hurricane Within and The Hurricane Without

This is a sermon I delivered at a local church after Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana and Mississippi.

I hear people talk about the hurricane and its aftermath. They are looking for some kind of larger meaning. I hear people say that it is God purging evil, punishing and testing his children. I do believe there is a greater meaning, but I know my God, and He is not a punishing God. God loves me completely and unconditionally. He loves me because He created me.

He does not need to test me. Because He created me he is certain of me, as He is certain of Himself. To doubt His creations, God would have to doubt Himself. Doubt is a human quality that we sometimes project onto God, but if we give it even a little thought we can see how patently absurd it is to see God as uncertain and doubtful.

As I look for the larger meaning of what has happened here, I see that what we experience in our outer world is a reflection of what is happening within ourselves, and within each of us is a little hurricane, brewing discontent. Each time we look with judgment upon a brother, the winds of this hurricane pick up. Each time we treat someone in a way we would not want to be treated ourselves, the hurricane within picks up momentum.

Every time we see someone suffering and look the other way, our own personal hurricane grows bigger. When we look at our brother and say he is wrong, he is different, he is less than, we sow the seeds of inner destruction. When we construct these invisible barriers that separate us from other brothers; he is from another country, speaks a different language, is a different color, has a different sexual orientation, goes to a different church, worships God in a different way, votes differently from me, watches movies and reads books I don?t approve of, raises their children differently than I do (the list is endless) we separate and make different.

God is not a god of separation and divisiveness. He is a God of unity and love. He is a God of inclusiveness. He made us in His image and so we, too, are meant to be united and loving and inclusive. When we see ourselves differently from the way God created us, the storm within brews.

God does not make hurricanes, or tsunamis, or earthquakes. God is not a murderer who destroys thousands of people. But God is in these situations. He is in this specific situation, and His presence brings meaning to what is happening to all of us. Because He is in this situation, we have His love and His comfort to sustain us. We have His strength to draw upon.

In order to calm the hurricane within, and to clean up the aftermath of these destructive thoughts, we only need to turn to our Father for help. We can bring Him our thoughts of separation and judgment, of guilt and fear, and He will lift us above the battleground of our inner turmoil. He will show us another way to think and to live.

In the aftermath of Katrina, we are given abundant opportunities to practice in the world the healing we want to effect within. We have the chance to give of our time, our energy, our money, and our spiritual support to those who now need us. If we are tempted to say that we want to help this one but not that one, we are given the opportunity to receive healing for that thought. Just as it rains on the just and the unjust, we send our love and support to all regardless of judgments we are tempted to make.

In this way we clean up after our inner hurricane as we clean up after the outer manifestation of that destructive force. There are so many opportunities for us right now. I don?t want to miss a one of them. When I see signs of bad behavior or seeming ingratitude, I have a choice in how I choose to perceive this. I can choose with my little ego and experience anger. Or I can choose with God and recognize these are a desperate and fearful people calling out for love in the only way they are able at this time. One choice feeds the next hurricane within, and the other feeds peace instead.

For those who have lost everything and are facing financial ruin, and perhaps have missing or lost relatives, there is a choice as well. Choose the unproductive path of anger and hopelessness, and certainly they won?t have to look far for justification for this choice, or choose for God. In choosing for God, they are choosing for life, for new beginnings, for another chance. In this choice they cannot fail for in God they have a powerful friend, because my God is an awesome God!

This is just as true for those of us who were not directly hit by the hurricane. At different times in our lives we are severely challenged. Sometimes it is through illness, or financial losses. Carolyn has shared with us her own personal challenge with her ex-husband, and we have seen how destructive that has been to her life. Some have experienced problems with addictions, or have relatives who have this challenge.

If you are in this life, you have or will have challenges. You, too, have those same two choices. Choose to hear the little voice of the ego talk to you about victimhood, blame, shame, fear and guilt, or choose to hear the Voice for God speak to you of strength, unity, abundance, power, and love.

Do not wait for circumstances that prove God is in your life, because it is your claim on Him that changes the circumstances in your life. Step out on faith, walk on water. Give God all the thoughts that speak to the littleness in life, and allow Him to replace them with His thoughts. Then step back and watch the miracles take place all over your life!

As the winds die, the skies clear, the water begins to recede, the real work begins. Those who came from New Orleans have come with little more than their lives and their faith, but it is a strong foundation on which to build. Those of us who were not directly involved are also touched by their plight. We are first reminded of our own vulnerability, and this brings our fears to the surface. We too, are left with work to do as we allow our fears to be healed and begin again with a clean slate.

What do we want to build on that slate? Do we want to build the same old thing? I don?t. I want to take full advantage of this opportunity to receive many healings. I ask the Holy Spirit to come into my mind and to correct my thoughts where they do not reflect the love I was created to be. And I want to use these outward opportunities to express this love. This is my practice. This is how I make my expression of love perfect.

I ask God, ?How might I be of service? What would you have me do?? There is so much to do I hardly know where to start, but I know that it is important that I do start. In the face of the horrible destruction and the seeming impossibility of dealing with the aftermath, assimilating the homeless and finding a way to help them get back on their feet, I start to feel helpless, to feel so overwhelmed. It also brings up in me my own fears of being vulnerable. If I stay hooked into the drama of what is going on, the fear will take over and fear always brings with it blame, hate and violence. How can I get past these feelings?

I read this from an article by Rev. Sue Borg of Salt Lake City: When our focus is on helping, our minds move away from fear and anxiety to a place of peace and clarity. There is no place where love and fear can exist simultaneously, so if peace is your goal, you must find a place to share your kindness and service and then watch how things change.
 

Once again, I have reason to be grateful to this church where I am given a place to do this, and the joy of uniting with others as I do it. I am grateful that I have the chance to give my time and effort to the hurricane victims. I am also grateful that I can share my peace, my joy, my spiritual faith with them and with all others God sends to me. The thing is, I cannot share what I do not have. So I must be mindful of that inner work, as well as its expression in the outer world.

It is very easy to become drawn back into the drama of what is happening around us. But there is a place I can be where I honor the story of what is happening, and yet I don?t believe in it. This is what Jesus showed us through the loaves and fishes. He saw that the people were hungry. He honored that need by supplying food, but he did not buy into their belief in lack. He used this opportunity to teach that there is no lack. He is telling us in this story that what we need will be supplied when we are faithful to our belief in abundance through Him.

So this tells me that I am to supply a seeming need, while keeping my faith that in spite of appearances, there is plenty. It is just as much my job to remain steadfast in my belief in God?s presence, in His Love, and in His power in our lives, as it is to gather supplies, prepare food, and write checks.

This seems to be a moment by moment job. My friend said something to me that is very helpful. She suggested that I not look too far ahead; that I ask of God, ?What can I do in this moment.?  She also reminded me that this works well in maintaining my peace as I remind myself that in this single moment, I can have peace. That has become my mantra.  As I center myself in God, I am peaceful and so I have tamed the hurricane within. Now I have something of real significance to give.

I invite you to meet the challenge before us. This is what Jesus taught us to do through many stories in the New Testament. Helping each other when we are in need is at the core of Christianity. Go to the civic center and volunteer for a few hours. Come here to see how you can help. Give of your time, your money, your prayers, of the many blessings you have been given. But most of all, do not buy into or support those thoughts and words of divisiveness and fear and hate that we are beginning to hear. Be true to your faith. Be strong in your faith. Allow God to work through you.

 

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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THERE ARE NO JUSTIFIED RESENTMENTS

I was listening to a Wayne Dyer CD yesterday and I heard something that was very helpful to me. He said that there are no justified resentments. That?s great isn?t it? There are no justified resentments. I love that it is so clear. It doesn?t say there are almost no justified resentments. It doesn?t say that most resentments are not justified, just that there are no justified resentments.

If I accept that statement as true, then letting go of resentments becomes much easier. I don?t have to decide which resentments to let go of. I don?t have to decide which resentments deserve my attention because they are just so justified. I simply accept that none of them are justified, and go from there. And why would I accept that statement as true?

I accept it as true because I want to be happy. If I have even one resentment in my life, I have given up my peace. I have placed my happiness in someone else?s hands. I have said that my happiness and my peace are up to you. If you will just apologize or act differently, if the world will just modify itself to accommodate me, then I can be happy. Well, good luck with that!

If, on the other hand, I am willing to take full responsibility for how my life is at this moment, then I can have peace; I can be happy. It is all in my own hands as soon as I acknowledge that there are no justified resentments.

The only problem with this is that I want to argue that there are a few of my resentments that seem justified. I mean, that person really did something bad to me. He did it on purpose and ruined my life. Actually, once I get to thinking about it, my whole life is just a string of justified resentments. Well, ok, there a few resentments that become a stretch as I try to justify them, but the rest are certainly justified.

That?s the problem when I try to justify any one of them, the rest ride in on its coat tail. And the simple truth is, no matter what anyone did to me, or said to me, or how the world treated me, it is entirely up to me what I do with that. I can bemoan what happened and feel sorry for myself. I can continue to allow it to poison me for the rest of my life. Or, I can accept that the world does what it does, and how I feel about it or choose to see it, is the only reality it has for me.

I can recognize that what this person standing in front of me says is not the cause of my unhappiness. I am not angry because of what he said. I am angry because of how I chose to experience what he had to say. In this way, I am entirely responsible for my life. I am free at any moment to change my mind about how I feel about what happens to me. It is that simple.

While it is that simple, it isn?t always that easy, I grant you that. I have a death grip on some of my resentments. I can?t let them go because I don?t want to. I would prefer to be right than happy. It is insane to think that keeping you in the prison of my blame is going to make me happy or do anything good for me, but there you are. I do it all the time.

Since I made the decision to be happy I have been systematically releasing resentments. As each one comes up, I let it go. I give it to God and I ask Him for another way to see it. No one is prying it from my clenched fist; I am choosing to open up and let it fall away. I tell you; such a weight is lifted from my shoulders when I do this.

Sometimes, though, I will hide a resentment from myself. I?m not exactly lying when I say there are no more resentments. It is more like I am just withholding the truth. If I never think about them, then they can?t really hurt me, right? Wrong. I was reading Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. These two psychologists say that withholding is a form of lying and that, physically, it can show up in several ways.

? Tight throat
? Clenched jaw
? Headaches at the temples or back of the neck
? Held or shallow breath
? Tension areas between shoulder blades or in the forearms
? Fluttering sensations in the stomach
? Evasive eye contact

I mention these symptoms because the other day I got a chance to experience them all. I didn?t realize what was going on at the time, but when I read this book I was amazed at how accurate they were.

Mary had invited me to the AA convention in Beaumont and I agreed to go. At the time I agreed, I felt a slight flutter in my stomach, but put it down to concern that I would have to cancel appointments and free up an entire day to accommodate this plan. By the time I got everything all arranged and arrived in Beaumont, I was fine with it, and was wondering what it would be like.

Well, when I went in I immediately realized I was way out of my comfort zone. As I started walking through all the people there, I felt myself closing off, putting up my shields. I knew this was crazy, but I couldn?t seem to help how I was feeling. I kept trying to see it differently, and just got more and more uncomfortable.

This really made no sense. Why was I feeling so threatened? I tried to think it out and couldn?t. There was a speaker for Al-Anon and I thought that this would be interesting to me. I grew up with an alcoholic father and have several relatives and many friends who are alcoholics and drug addicts. Even so, I have never been interested in going to Al-Anon, and had never attended a meeting.

If I had been really truthful with myself, I would have realized that it was more than a casual disregard that kept me from joining this group at some point. Well, we listened to a really nice lady who spoke very honestly about her experience as a wife of an alcoholic. She has been his wife for a very long time, and though it was a difficult marriage for much of that time, she loves her husband, and is very happy.

Those are the facts of what I heard, but my reaction indicated I was hearing something different. The more she spoke, the angrier I became. I didn?t know why. I just knew that I felt such resentment toward her, and now that I thought about it, I felt resentment toward the rest of the people in the room. What was going on? I was feeling all of those symptoms I told you about.

I couldn?t figure it out and I couldn?t really think about it. I was so busy keeping a tight control over my emotions that I couldn?t really think clearly. I just knew that I was going to have to look at this when I got home and could think again. I asked the Holy Spirit to look at it with me-later.

Well, later stretched on awhile. I kept myself pretty busy for awhile, but finally I couldn?t take the loss of peace any longer. I sat still and meditated. When I felt calmer, I asked the Holy Spirit to look at it with me and to help me see this differently. I took it a step at a time, and allowed myself to look closely at what happened, and to experience my feelings fully.

This is when I got a glimpse of some of those unconscious, deeply buried resentments. I remembered that I felt discomfort from the first moment I encountered the attendees in the halls. Why should I feel discomfort around people I don?t even know? The Holy Spirit helped me to see that I wasn?t seeing those people-I was seeing my fears. It was as if there were hundreds of people representing my fears rushing at me all at once. No wonder I was feeling overwhelmed.

Immediately, I got a picture of my father in my mind. Oh my, I thought I was through with that. I thought my dad was all dealt with and put away. I knew in that moment, I had been withholding the truth from myself. I felt such rage toward him. And the resentment I felt toward the people in the Al-Anon group, what was that all about?

The Holy Spirit helped me to see that they were bringing up for me the un-forgiveness that I was hiding from myself. That woman had forgiven and was happy. There was a part of my mind that was outraged that she had forgiven. Her story proved that she was fully justified in her resentments, and yet she had chosen forgiveness instead. Seeing this, I had to look at my own un-forgiveness toward my dad and also toward my ex husband, and what it was doing to me.

Ok, I thought I had fully forgiven these people, but I will just do it now. There, that?s done. Then I would see the face of the speaker in my mind, and it was like I put up my hand and said, ?Stop.? All the anger and hostility would rise up in me again. I tell you, I was really having issues with that poor woman! Every time I thought about her, I got mad.

I didn?t know what to do. This was just so disheartening. You think you have worked through something, and there it is all over again. I just couldn?t seem to get past my anger. I said, ?Holy Spirit, I just can?t do this. What am I going to do?? And the thought that came very clearly in that moment was, ?But you are not alone. I am with you.? I felt such a deep sense of relief flow over me.

I said, ?OK. I don?t know how to forgive this, but I am willing. What do I do?? He said to me, ?Nothing. You have already done your part. I will do the rest.? I just stood there and cried. I felt such peace.

After this, I saw that this had nothing to do with anything that happened outside of me. It had nothing to do with the convention, or the people there. I was no longer angry at that nice Al-Anon lady. I saw that it didn?t even have to do with my dad. My mom and dad came here to work on their forgiveness lessons, and that is what they were doing. I joined them so that I could work on my own. Why on earth would I resent them for providing the very circumstances that allowed me to do the work I had chosen to do?

I told my dad that I love him and that I appreciate him. I also appreciate that, all these many years after he died, he is still providing me with an opportunity to practice forgiveness, and to love unconditionally.

If I told you all the stories about my life living with an alcoholic father, and then with an alcoholic husband, I might convince you that my resentments are justified, but I don?t want to be justified. I don?t want to be right. I want to be happy. I want peace and joy. The world is just chock full of teachers, people who help me to see my own buried resentments, and so give me the chance to heal. I feel only gratitude toward them.

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Hurricane Meditation

Complete Release Through the Restoration of the Sonship from 905

My mind is on Hurricane Katrina. I read this morning that the levies which keep Lake Ponchetrain out of New Orleans have been breached. I feel the sadness of the people who love that city. I feel the grief of those who have left behind their homes and everything they own, and may never return to. I feel my son, Toby?s upset over losing his first real home away from his childhood home, and the school he loves.

As I begin to do this meditation, I realize that this whole drama was created as a fantasy. It is an extreme and vivid way to make the illusion feel real. How very special are the people involved in this. How special, separate and unique. How special is the situation, and how separate and unique it is; very different from what is happening to other people.

This kind of drama on such a big scale, makes it easy to see how specialness works. As I am reading the accounts of Hurricane Katrina, I notice that I am buying into the specialness of New Orleans as a target; making us so very special because of special circumstances. It becomes so big in my mind that I am not interested in what happens in Alabama or Mississippi. There is even a sense of competition; they lost fifty people, but wait until the water goes down and we count the dead in New Orleans. I bet the count will be even higher.

As I realize how this is happening to me and I am sure to many other people, too, I can see so clearly how we use our twisted fantasies to support our belief in specialness-to make it feel even more real to ourselves. I also notice that the bigger, and more dramatic the illusion, the harder it is to remember that it isn?t real.

As long as we treasure our specialness and continue to support it with our fantasies, these special circumstances will continue to develop within the illusion. We cannot have more favorable illusions, gentle, sweet and precious illusions without also having the more dramatic, frightening, and devastating illusions. We cannot keep any of our illusions without keeping all of them.

I am suddenly aware that I have been counting my lucky stars because I don?t live in New Orleans, and this isn?t happening to me. But it is; there is only one mind. They are me, this is happening to me; that is to me as I am truly, when I am not experiencing myself as separate. So, my relief at not being literally part of the experience of living thru a direct hit, reinforces my belief in separation. It happened to them-how sad; it didn?t happen to me-how lucky. But there are no differences in us. The Sonship is whole; we are one, and it happened to all of the Sonship. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say this illusion was created by all of the Sonship-we made it and it is our experience.

As I think of the people who were directly involved in this experience, I am tempted to feel sadness and sorrow. In fact, not to feel these things seems cold and callous. But in truth, I know that they are not suffering and devastated people. In truth, they are still loving extensions of God. They are still in God?s Mind. How could they be in harms way if they are in God?s Mind? They can be in danger only in our twisted fantasies. My part will be to remember for all the truth of who we are, rather than to join in the illusion of separateness and make it stronger in our mind.

I see myself embracing all of these people who are experiencing themselves as separate, suffering individuals. I see myself embracing the mayor of New Orleans whose heart is heavy as he sees his beloved city drowning under the waters of Lake Ponchatrain and feels the helplessness of not being able to stop it. I see myself bringing comfort and reassurance to all parts of the Sonship as I know for them that we are all one, and that we are all really safely at home in the loving embrace of our Father.

Our sick fantasies, no matter how real and devastating we make them, remain fantasies. Nothing has changed. I am part of All, and so are you. In my body and within my own story, I continue to offer refuge to those who see themselves as harmed, but my real work is in holding the truth for them, and for me. Holy Spirit, please support me in this work. Please keep the truth firmly in the forefront of my mind. Please do not let me become distracted by the illusion of pain and destruction we have made. 

 

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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I AM HERE ONLY TO BE TRULY HELPFUL

A Course In Miracles has a prayer that begins; I am here only to be truly helpful. How can I be truly helpful? What constitutes true help? Have you ever had someone interfere in your life, and when you called them on it they said, ?I was only trying to help?? Have you ever been asked, ?How can I help?? only to have no answer because though you wanted help, you didn?t really know what would help.

A common mistake I have made is to think that it is truly helpful to fix people. I have spent my life thinking that it is my responsibility to fix everyone. I thought that this was being helpful, and a good person. I thought this gave my life purpose.

What I have learned is that when I see another person as needing to be fixed, this is wrong-minded thinking. Now I am learning to trust my brother, to know that he is not his actions, but rather he is perfect as God created him.

I have learned that if I truly want to be helpful, then the most useful thing that I can do is to hold him in the Light. By holding him in the Light, I mean that I never lose sight of his wholeness, of his holiness. I know who he is. He is God?s perfect child. In God he is mighty.

Does this mean that I pretend he is not facing a challenge? Do I turn a blind eye to his pain?  No, I honor his story. Yes, he is experiencing himself in pain and I know what that feels like. I know how real it seems and how difficult it is to move out of it.

At the same time, I don?t join him in his illusion by making it real. I don?t believe in his illusion. I don?t believe that this person is a weak, vulnerable creature in need of outside help. God knows how strong and perfect we are. He does not reach down and move us out of the sticky traps we have put ourselves into, because He knows we don?t need Him to do that. If He did this for us, He would be saying that we are weak and needy. If God did believe this about us, it would be true.

Something that I learned listening to a set of tapes by Tom and Linda Carpenter is that anytime I am counseling someone, formally or informally, the moment I think I know the answer, that I know how they can fix this, this is the moment I back off. I know that I have put the ego in charge. I step back, and ask the Holy Spirit to take the lead.

One thing I know for sure-I don’t know what I am supposed to say or do. This is why I always ask Spirit first. I surrender my need to be in charge and to be right. As I do this, I am also releasing my attachment to the outcome. My son called me the other day to tell me that he is having trouble with his landlady, and can’t figure out what to do about it. As he told his story, it did indeed seem that he was justified in his anger and confusion.

He has a window in his apartment that opens from the outside and, for security reasons, he wanted to put some kind of lock on it. She didn?t want him to, and all of her reasons for not doing so were unreasonable. She has such an odd way of looking at things that one doesn?t know how to talk to her. It left Toby feeling confused and vulnerable.

I could easily have joined him in this perception of what was happening. In fact, that is exactly what I did at first. I looked at what seemed to be going on, and saw that his landlady was being unreasonable, and that she was a threat to him. I saw my son in a position of vulnerability and I looked for ways he could defend himself. I made some reassuring comments, and some suggestions on how he could get the upper hand.

As we said goodbye and I put the phone down, I felt uneasy with my response. At first I didn?t realize why. I just knew that I didn?t feel peaceful with what I had said. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me where I went wrong. I was reminded of a message I had recently heard on one of those tapes by Tom and Linda Carpenter. Tom said that any decision made should be of benefit to all. 

What could Toby do or say that would fit that description? I asked the Holy Spirit what I could say that would be truly helpful to Toby and to the landlady. I called Toby back and told him that I had a different answer for him. I don?t remember exactly what I told him, but it was something like this. I suggested that he recognize her behavior for what it was; fear. As a matter of fact, Caroline, his girlfriend, had already noted this, and so he had been thinking about it. When people are fearful, calmness and kindness is a better response than retaliation.

I suggested that even when she wasn?t around that he might think of her as she really is, that perfectly created child of Light and Love, and that he could use this time to practice seeing past her fearful actions to the truth of her. This is holding her in the Light. It is the best prayer we can have for someone. It is the solution that benefits everyone.

As we see others we see ourselves. If I think you are lacking in some way, I am teaching myself that I too, can be lacking in this way. What is possible for you is also possible for me. I don?t want to teach you that you are something I don?t want to be. So as Toby is learning that unreasonable is what his landlady is doing, not who she is, he is at the same time teaching himself that neither is he the errors he makes. They both remain as they were created. This is a win-win answer.

I was given a spiritual response and so that is what I gave him. What I told him felt right, but I had no attachment to the outcome. It was not the quick and easy answer I am sure he was looking for in the moment. He listened with interest, but I am not sure he will do it. That?s ok, I fully trust Toby to make his own decisions. Even when he makes decisions that cost him in some way, I trust that these errors are just stepping stones to the place he needs to be.  I fully trust him to do just that. I love him enough to allow him to do that. Whatever Toby needs to do to learn his lessons is what I want him to do. This is holding Toby in the Light. The way I can be most helpful to him, in any circumstance is not to be sure he does what I say, but to believe in who he is, and to never mistake what he does for who he is.

Sometimes I feel the need to fix someone because, while I hate to see her suffer, I also recognize that a lot of that pain I feel is caused by my own projections. I see that person doing what I have done in the past and what I am afraid I will do in the future, and I hate that she is mirroring my own nightmares back to me. I even find myself feeling resentment toward her when what she mirrors for me is particularly painful. But on the other hand, I am also able to feel gratitude that I am being shown what needs to be healed in myself, and so can now ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking on this.

When someone I care about found herself in desperate financial straits, I wanted to do something to help her through this. The problem was, I didn?t have the kind of money that it would take to do it. Every time I would think about what was happening in her life, I would feel anxious. I kept taking it to the Holy Spirit and asking for another way to see it.
The next morning as I was once again feeling anxious about the situation and asking for help seeing this clearly, I found my mind wandering to my own finances. I was doing OK, but I started thinking about what would happen if I suddenly lost my job, knowing that I am not financially prepared for something like that. What would I do? How would I cope?

Ah, now I understood why I was having so much trouble seeing my friend?s problem clearly. The Holy Spirit was showing me that she was being a mirror in which I could see my own fears plainly-fears I didn?t even realize I had. Now, with this new clarity, I could ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking. With my thinking on the subject healed, I was able to see her as healed as well. I was able to be truly helpful to her.

My job is to allow healing for myself. As I am healed, I will be a blessing to the other people in my life. I cannot bless them in this way unless I first accept healing for myself. When they see how happy that makes me, they will just naturally want it for themselves. It is not my job to correct anyone; it is only my job to model for them what has been corrected in myself.

So, when my motivation to help someone flows from a feeling of discomfort, I can recognize that the discomfort is my own, not theirs. When my friend told me that her husband was getting drunk and acting out violently, I felt a flash of anger. I was angry at him for his behavior and at her for staying there and putting up with it. I stepped back for a moment and asked the Holy Spirit why I am feeling so much anger.

I was shown that when I looked at my friend?s situation, I was seeing my own past vulnerability. I saw myself in a similar place and felt my fear and frustration at the situation. I remembered how long I stayed in it and felt stupid. I never want to be in that situation again, and here is my friend showing me how easy it is to get caught up in it again.

I can see that I am not really reacting to my friend; I am reacting to my own feelings. My motivation is mixed. Sure, I want my friend to be happy and safe, but I also want to protect myself from what she is reflecting back to me. My friend is the mirror in which I see something about myself that I don?t like. My secret dark heart that I don?t want anybody to see (including myself) wants to reach out and smash that mirror. Instead, I become invested in trying to fix her so that I don?t have to look at what upsets me.

The solution I chose was to look, with the help of the Holy Spirit, and with complete honesty at what I was feeling. I owned all my feelings, even the ones that I felt embarrassed or ashamed about. I then asked the Holy Spirit to correct my wrong minded thoughts and so to heal my mind.

Now I will have something real to offer my friend. If she sees my joy and my peace she may be motivated to get out of her present situation so she can have that, too. If she is not, then I know that it is OK. I have planted a seed, and someday it may take root. In the meantime, I will do my part and hold her in the Light, knowing the truth about her until she is ready to acknowledge that truth herself.

So how can I be truly helpful? Let me read you the rest of the prayer:

I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
I do not have to worry about what to say or what
to do, because he who sent me will direct me.
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing
He goes there with me.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.
                          ACIM T-2.V.18:2-6

I can be truly helpful by getting my little self out of the way and allowing God to direct me.

 

 

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Worry

Lately I have been indulging in worry, and I?ve got to tell you that this is a monumental waste of time. I know this for sure because after a week of concerted effort put into worry, I can say with absolute certainty that nothing was accomplished through this activity.

Worry seems like such a natural thing to do. Like everyone else, I learned early on to worry about things. Our teachers told us to worry about passing tomorrow?s math test because it was going to be a big part of our grade. They did it because they were afraid we would not study otherwise. Our parents encouraged us to worry about a myriad of things, and we do the same to our own children. It falls under the guise of protecting them. We do it because we don?t want anything bad to happen to them; because we love them.

Alan Cohen said, ?Worry is not a form of love. Vision, confidence, and belief in him are.? I was thinking about this last week after I got tired of giving my peace away through worry. I am so accustomed to worry as a form of love, that I had never questioned it. My son was in a wreck, so I spent three days worrying. A hurricane was coming so I worried about him being in its path, and when I convinced him to come home I worried about him losing all his stuff that he had left behind.

I worried about my daughter?s financial plans. She is in the middle of some exciting but risky ventures. What if everything went wrong? I think about it and I seem justified in worrying. Hurricanes and financial loss seem scary. Unexpected things do happen, and they can seem bad. I love these people so shouldn?t I worry? If I didn?t worry wouldn?t that mean I didn?t care about them?

I asked myself how it would feel not to worry about them. It seems weird to even think about it. If Toby was caught in a hurricane and I wasn?t worried about him, wouldn?t you wonder what was wrong with me? And yet, what good does it do? Is he one iota safer because I am here worrying about him? And is it really love that prompts worry?

I think it is fear, actually, that causes anyone to be worried; fear of loss. I am not really afraid that Toby will die. Toby will die when it is his time. There is nothing bad about dieing. We do what we came here to do, and then we leave. There is no real ending, just a change in venue. I get that. My fear is about my own sense of loss, and the grief I would experience. I am afraid to be without him for the time that is left for me.

I don?t really believe that financial loss is the end of the world either. All things that happen to us are opportunities to love, to forgive, to practice being in peace and that is all the meaning anything has. If Toby lost all his stuff, then he would learn that stuff can be replaced. It has no real value of itself. If Sheryl were to fail in her financial venture, she would learn from her errors and move on, a better person for it. So why do I worry? I think it may be because, as a mom, I feel a misguided need to fix everything for them, even when I know that it is not possible or even desirable for me to do so. I think if I can?t fix it, I will be a failure as a mom.

Well, it became apparent to me as I thought this out, that my worry for others was really worry for myself. I had not realized this before. If I want to be truly helpful, I can choose to do as Alan Cohen suggested; I can see my children with true vision. I can see them as confident, strong, and able. I can see them as God created them. If this is the vision I have of them, it will be reflected in my words and my actions. They will be aware of my belief in them and it will strengthen their belief in themselves. Isn?t this a far more loving thing to do than to worry about them?

It is very important that I realize my words and actions are continually teaching. Do I want to teach fear and weakness? Or do I want to teach strength and faith? I have no option but to teach, however, it is up to me what I choose to teach. While there may seem to be many options, it is really very straight forward. There are always only two options. I can choose for the ego, or I can choose for God. The choice I make supports one or the other. Which do I support?

And it does matter which I support. What I support I strengthen, and what I do not support I weaken. I think we all recognize this at some level even though we may not have really thought it out. This is the reason we want people to agree with us. We know that their agreement supports our beliefs. We know that their failure to agree weakens it. That is why some people are very upset when we refuse to go along with their religious or political beliefs. They need our agreement to strengthen their point of view.

So what do I do with worry when it starts? Over the last couple of weeks I have had some experience with this. I held onto my fear for several days before I let it go. I don?t entirely understand why I choose to stay in my dramas, but I recognize that I do. Eventually, though, I remember how much better life is when I choose peace instead.

Once I choose peace, I have set an intention to make it happen. This gets things rolling. I may not move immediately into peace, but my intention invites heaven to assist me. I have all the help I need to get to where I intend to be. The longer I stay in chaos, the more difficult it is for me to make that choice. It is as if I get lost there and can?t find my way out. My mind becomes busy with thoughts, and I don?t know which one to believe.

This is what happened to me recently. So when I decided that I wanted my peace back, I recognized that I needed help. I asked the Holy Spirit to look at all my thoughts with me and to correct the ones that were in error. I thought I had already done that, but I wasn?t in peace. What I realized was that I had been asking the Holy Spirit to take away my discomfort, but I was holding onto my thoughts.

I can?t have both. I can?t have mistaken thoughts and peace of mind. One will not exist with the other. As soon as I saw what I was doing, I decided that I was willing to see this in a different way. The Holy Spirit showed me the truth about worry, and gave me this new way of looking at things. This was not instantaneous. I had to practice choosing peace. Each time ego thoughts would rise to the top, I looked at them with the Holy Spirit. I allowed my mind to be healed.  Eventually, as each was corrected, there were fewer and fewer worry thoughts, and my peace was uninterrupted.

The truth is, I don?t know what anything means anyway. There is a great sense of relief as I say that. I don?t know what anything means. Why should I think that it is my responsibility to make decisions? It is one of my favorite prayers to say, ?I make no decisions on my own.? I open my mind to the Holy Spirit and invite Him in. I ask Him to decide for me because I know that He speaks for God. This too, brings peace.

Life goes on; things happen, some of them upsetting to my plans. I can?t change that. I can choose to keep my peace in the midst of it all. I can allow the Holy Spirit to show me a different way to see the things that are happening. He can help me change my perspective.

I was reading a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called ?There?s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem.? Shortly after Dr. Dyer wrote this book, he had an opportunity to practice what he had just preached. He had a heart attack. He ate healthy, exercised regularly all his life, meditated daily, did what he loved and loved what he did. Heart attacks were supposed to happen to other people, not to him.

Dr. Dyer couldn?t believe this was happening to him. He felt sorry for himself. He was in a state of shock and disbelief. He was feeling self-pity, sadness, doubt. He was scared. Then he turned this around as he thought of the principles of his book and realized there was a spiritual solution to this problem, too.

He said: The facts are the facts, my heart had been injured. Now it was up to me. I am not this body; I am a spiritual being, eternal, always connected to God. I could shift my awareness to being the observer rather than the victim? It was as if a light came on in a dark room.  Dr. Dyer had brought his problem to God, and had been shown a different way to see things. He began to feel cheerful rather than morose. He began to circulate around the hospital ward bringing cheer to others. He started seeing the other people and the staff differently. Instead of looking at everyone with fear and anxiety, he was seeing them with awe, love, and respect. He said: I looked for what was right about that place and experienced gratitude for everything my senses witnessed. Surely the presence of God is in this place.

Dr. Dyer recognized that he could not change what was happening in the world of form, but that did not mean he was helpless in the situation. He had a choice. He could choose to stay in worry, or he could choose to allow the Holy Spirit to show him a different way to see. Choosing for God made all the difference in the world. He helped not only himself, but his actions taught everyone there. His doctor?s wife had been suffering from illness, and what she heard about Dr. Dyer?s spiritual solution to his physical problems it set her on a spiritual path. It also impressed his cardiologist and gave him a new way to help his patients.

So what I have learned these past two weeks is that when I see I am in a state of worry and fear, I know that there is nothing to be gained from staying in it. Worry serves no useful purpose. I know that I am not a victim of the world, and do not have to remain in this state; I can choose differently by choosing God. I know that all my problems are a direct result of faulty thinking, and that I can ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking. I may not be able to change what is happening in the physical world, but by changing my mind, I can change my experience of what is happening. I know that changing my thinking changes everything.

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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The Path to God

It seems that there are many paths that I can take in my life. But in truth there is only one. All roads lead to God. I look back over my life and some of the things I have experienced argue against this idea. It certainly doesn?t look like I have always been on the right path. It doesn?t seem that I have always been on the path to God. But then, when I reconsider, I see that I have experienced in life exactly what I need to be where I am now. I also see that, yes, all roads do lead to God, because God is all there is.

I?ve done a lot of crazy things in my life. During those times, it certainly didn?t seem that I was on a path to God. I didn?t sleep through the sixties, and I lived the seventies as if they were the sixties, too. I burned my bra, I practiced free love with enthusiasm, I inhaled! I made mistakes that felt really big. I hurt myself and I hurt other people. I spent some time being very angry at God. I openly and frankly cursed Him. And each thing I did brought me a step closer to my Father, because there is no place else to go.

At some point in the eighties, I made up with God. How amused the Universe must have been to hear that I was returning to where I had never left. Now I sat my foot more deliberately on the path home. I began to realize that I wanted the road to God, and I started to really put some effort into it. I studied and meditated. I opened my mind to seeing things differently. I worried that I would choose the wrong path. The Holy Spirit tried to show me that all the paths, no matter how different or odd one might seem, wound up right back at the same place.

I wasn?t very consistent in my spiritual efforts. I would be working really hard, and then suddenly I would wake up to the fact that I was floating aimlessly through life again. I would feel guilty for losing my way, for veering off path again. As if I could. As if there was some other path.

I spent the nineties slipping on and off my intended spiritual path. I would do what I thought God wanted me to do and I would feel good about myself. Then I would mess up and I would feel guilty. I would feel like a failure. I would feel like I had made a promise to God and then failed to keep it. God just kept right on loving me, carrying me. When I felt able I would get back on my feet and try again. Why did I think that I needed to walk my path on my own? Why did I think it would be better if God did not carry me?

With the new millennium I came near to celebrating another decade in this life. It also brought a new determination to walk a straighter path. I finally realized that I probably was not going to remain in this life forever. I felt a driving force moving me steadily toward God. I asked for whatever it would take to keep me going-to get me to my destination. I expressed a willingness to do whatever it took. God answered my prayers, and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper in my heart in a way I never had before.

I was led to Pathways of Light, and they provided a structured program that would help me reach my hearts desire. I was shown how to use A Course in Miracles to move me forward at a faster, surer pace. I was led each step of the way. I was assured that I need only focus on my true purpose and everything else would be taken care of. Did that mean that I would never have any problems? No, but it did mean that whatever problems came up in my life, I would have the option of taking them to the Holy Spirit to be solved. If that is what I chose to do, then the problems themselves would move me another step down the path.

My path brought me to the Church of the Brethren. I am so grateful for this opportunity to share with, and learn from, such a terrific bunch of people. I can hardly believe my good fortune to find a church so inclusive, so loving, and so open minded. But then, it is not really good fortune; it is another step planned for me by the Holy Spirit. I set my intention to follow His lead, and He, in turn, led me to exactly the place where I should be.

I would like to share with you some of the things that I have learned while on this path.  I have learned that I have never done anything wrong. I have taken a few side roads, but they all led back to the path. They slowed me down, but that?s OK because I learned many lessons while on them. I spent some time in regrets and guilt, and that slowed me down, too, but what I learned was that guilt and regrets are a waste of time. What I have done or failed to do is irrelevant to God. He knows His creations and He knows that my actions cannot change what He created. I am just as God created me. Still.

I have learned that there are only two voices; the voice of the ego, and the voice of the Holy Spirit. I can choose the voice I want to hear. It is always my choice which I listen to. One will lead to chaos and one will lead to peace. I love the simplicity. I can ask at any time, ?Who am I listening to?? and the answer is always only one of two voices. The answer is very clear and the choice to listen to the Voice for God is always possible.

I have learned that peace is my one goal. Peace is all I want in life. I have tried lots of other things and none of them have brought me happiness. I don?t remember where I read it, but something that has always impressed me as true is that intelligence is the measure of your ability to make yourself happy. If that is so, my intelligence quotient has risen over the years.

If I have to choose between being right or being happy, happy is going to win out every time.  That is another place in my life that has become simpler. I look at my choices and ask which one will bring peace into my life, and that is the one I choose. 

I?ve learned that everyone, without exception, is always giving love, or asking for love. There?s that simplicity again. If my boss speaks to me in anger, I know that he is not expressing love, so he must be asking for love. My choice is to return the attack, or choose a loving response. Which will bring peace into my life? So simple.

I?ve learned that when Jesus told me not to judge, he wasn?t joking. He really knew what he was talking about. He was very aware that there was no way I could know everything there was to know about each person involved, past, present and future. Without that information to work with, how could I make any kind of informed judgment? It was amazing to me how much smoother my life?s path became when I stopped trying to do what I am clearly not qualified to do. When I step back into that role of judge, it is exactly like stepping onto a rocky path, and I stumble.

While I could see that it was a mistake to judge the people in my life, it took a little longer to apply the non-judgment rule to everything else in my life. I just didn?t see that at first. Then I began to apply the same criteria to events. I don?t know what this event means in the long run.

At one time, I thought that I absolutely could not live if I didn?t have a certain man in my life. I judged that he was necessary to my happiness and that having him was a good thing. I was
wrong about that, but I couldn?t have made a clear judgment, because I couldn?t possibly know all that would happen as a result of my machinations to make this alliance possible.

I am learning to let life be what it is. I am learning not to judge what is happening, and instead, to seek peace no matter what seems to be happening. This, too, has made life simpler and happier. If my focus is peace instead of change, I am able to disengage from what is happening around me. One way I see this in action is through work. I used to think that when I got a new customer it was an exciting occasion. I judged that as good.

The thing is, if getting a new customer is good, what is losing a customer? So long as my goal is increasing my customer base, my peace is constantly at risk. Even when I get a new customer, my happiness is tainted with the fear of losing a customer. I can change my goal. I can decide that all I want is peace. I can stop judging each event as good or bad. When I am tempted to do so, I can give that judgment to the Holy Spirit. I can ask him for another way to see this. When I bring God into my life, I bring peace into my life.

I have learned that every seeming problem in my life is just a forgiveness lesson. It is an opportunity for me to practice forgiving. It doesn?t matter what seems to be happening, this is what it is for. When I hit those rocky places on my path, I ask myself what it is I need to forgive. Forgiveness is really simple; it is just a change of mind.

If I think you have done something to me, I forgive the idea that you have attacked me. Instead I allow the Holy Spirit to show me a different way to see this. I see your ?attack? as a call for love. The Holy Spirit may show me that you didn?t really do anything at all, and that I am actually seeing my fears reflected in your actions, and that is why I feel attacked. I forgive the picture I was holding of you, and this allows me to see the Christ that you are.

All paths lead to God. My choice is who I want to walk with. I can walk with the ego in fear, or I can walk with God in love. It makes no difference in reality, but in my experience it makes a world of difference. One brings me happiness and peace and the other leads me down a rocky and rough road; same road, different experience. When I walk the path of Love, God walks with me. When I walk a different path, God still walks with me, I just don?t know it.

© 2005, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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