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Study of Text, Chapter 11: VI: Waking to Redemption, P 4. 11-3-15

VI. Waking to Redemption P 4

4 I am your resurrection and your life. You live in me because you live in God. And everyone lives in you, as you live in everyone. Can you, then, perceive unworthiness in a brother and not perceive it in yourself? And can you perceive it in yourself and not perceive it in God? Believe in the resurrection because it has been accomplished, and it has been accomplished in you. This is as true now as it will ever be, for the resurrection is the Will of God, which knows no time and no exceptions. But make no exceptions yourself, or you will not perceive what has been accomplished for you. For we ascend unto the Father together, as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, for such is the nature of God’s Son as his Father created him.

Journal
To truly understand and accept my true nature, my complete safety and the absolute certainty of my return to God, it is necessary to accept that there is only God. I could not be separate from God because there is no separate from God. I will “return” to God because I never left. There is no time and so there is not a “time” I am not in God and part of God. In each moment, each eternal now, I am in God.

There is no will that is not God’s Will, so I am as He created me and nothing else could be true. I cannot have a will separate from God because there is no such thing. How could I be different from God and be in God? Clearly, something else is going on here. If only God is possible, then I must be part of God and in God and anything not in alignment with that truth, must not be real. I must be dreaming, surely. What I imagine to be real can only be an illusion.

This is all so self-evident when I sit here with my sweet brother, Jesus, and let him enlighten me about it. So why is it I still fall into the story and think that something is happening and it’s real and it matters, and I must do something about it? And what do I do about it? I call my story of Myron my life, but the truth is, if there were any such thing as death, this would be it. I am ready to resurrect from this pretense of death.

It is helping me to understand that within the vastness that is God, is Jesus. And within the vastness of Jesus, is me. And within the vastness of me, is every other brother. Whatever I believe about my brother, I therefore, must believe about myself. Whatever I believe about myself, I must believe about Jesus and about God.

I suppose that is why the thing most of us take from Jesus’ life is his pain and suffering in the crucifixion. We do that because we believe in pain and suffering and punishment. It is why we believed for so long, that God would sacrifice His Son for our sins. We believe in sacrifice and sin and retribution, so we believed it of God. But we are learning differently.

To be helpful to me now, I must reduce these lofty ideas to the level at which I find myself. Each time I see a brother, here is what I know.

When I meet anyone remember it is a holy encounter.
As you see him, I will see myself.
As I treat him, I will treat myself.
As I think of him, I will think of myself.
I never forget this, for in him I will find myself or lose myself.

In each encounter with a brother there is the potential for awakening, or for deepening my sleep. How I use that encounter is up to me, but the sheer potential for good is staggering. Holy Spirit, help me remember this, and help me let go of all nonsense that blocks this potential.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: VI: Waking to Redemption, P 3. 11-2-15

VI. Waking to Redemption P 3

3 This course is perfectly clear. If you do not see it clearly, it is because you are interpreting against it, and therefore do not believe it. And since belief determines perception, you do not perceive what it means and therefore do not accept it. Yet different experiences lead to different beliefs, and with them different perceptions. For perceptions are learned with beliefs, and experience does teach. I am leading you to a new kind of experience that you will become less and less willing to deny. Learning of Christ is easy, for to perceive with Him involves no strain at all. His perceptions are your natural awareness, and it is only the distortions you introduce that tire you. Let the Christ in you interpret for you, and do not try to limit what you see by narrow little beliefs that are unworthy of God’s Son. For until Christ comes into His Own, the Son of God will see himself as Fatherless.

Journal
Jesus says the Course is perfectly clear, and I agree with him. There was a time when that sounded crazy to me. The Course was so hard for me to understand and harder still to accept. What I discovered over time is that everything that seemed complicated and hard became simple and easy as I was ready to allow that change. I was the one making it seem difficult. I was interpreting against it and so did not believe it.

It seemed to me like I believed it, but just couldn’t do it. But I see now that I didn’t really believe it. I would read something like we were all one, and I would try to believe it. I would try to see us as one, but still hold onto the idea that we were different. I would see this one as better than another or worse. I would see some people victimizing me or others, and believe in that instead of believing in oneness.

It was a process, and it took time for me to walk through it. Each step I took brought me a new experience and that experience changed the way I saw things. It was miraculous, really. I would struggle with a letting a grievance go and it would be so hard, sometimes taking weeks or months. I had a couple that took years.

But then one day I would finally reach my tipping point. I would be so sick of feeling stressed by the situation that I would finally ask with all my heart to be relieved of this grievance. And that would be the moment that I wanted peace more than I wanted to be right, and it was just done. I was healed, and I was happy. The next one would be easier because I believed in the healing power of the Atonement more than I had before.

I have finally reached the point that my perceptions are true enough that I seldom hold onto wrong-minded thinking for very long. My experience of allowing those thoughts to be healed has led me to new beliefs, and changed perceptions. More thoughts are coming up for healing and I look on them with the Holy Spirit and I am willing to see with Christ Vision in a way I didn’t even understand before. Occasionally it still feels hard, but I am not fooled. I know it is not hard, just temporarily unwelcome.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, VI.Waking to Redemption, P 1. 10-29-15

VI. Waking to Redemption P 1

1 It is impossible not to believe what you see, but it is equally impossible to see what you do not believe. Perceptions are built up on the basis of experience, and experience leads to beliefs. It is not until beliefs are fixed that perceptions stabilize. In effect, then, what you believe you do see. That is what I meant when I said, “Blessed are ye who have not seen and still believe,” for those who believe in the resurrection will see it. The resurrection is the complete triumph of Christ over the ego, not by attack but by transcendence. For Christ does rise above the ego and all its works, and ascends to the Father and His Kingdom.

Journal
I see suffering and I see death, and it is impossible for me to stop seeing this as long as I believe in them. There is no point in trying to see this differently in the way I used to do. When I would see someone suffering and felt bad for them, I would try to see it differently. I would talk to myself about this not being the truth. I would tell myself that they are not the body that is suffering. But these were just words and all they could do was to push the truth down further from my awareness, because there was no healing in that process.

Here is how it is different now. Instead of seeing suffering and trying to see something else, and then feeling guilty and afraid when it didn’t work, I now see the suffering and realizing that my mind is not healed, I ask for healing. Over the years I have done this many times and I have learned that this prayer is always answered. I may not accept it fully the first time I ask, but even a little willingness changes the way I see.

Eventually, I have formed a new habit of asking that my perceptions be healed, and accepting that healing. These new perceptions become stable after awhile and now there are some wrong minded thoughts that I no longer believe even when the thoughts show up in my mind. No matter what my eyes show me, or my ego mind believes, I am never confused about them.

This success has motivated me to continue my practice. Everything I see in the world, and all my interpretations of what I see are based on my perceptions, and my perceptions tell me what it is that I want to believe. Perceptions are not the truth, but simply a choice made according to the experience I want.

I can change my mind at any time, and I do this through the Holy Spirit. I share with Him the way I am seeing something now, and I ask Him to heal my perceptions and show me what is really happening. It is that simple. If it takes time for acceptance to kick in, then I am patient with myself. I can afford to be patient because I have absolute faith in the outcome.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 18. 10-28-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 18

18 Every brother you meet becomes a witness for Christ or for the ego, depending on what you perceive in him. Everyone convinces you of what you want to perceive, and of the reality of the kingdom you have chosen for your vigilance. Everything you perceive is a witness to the thought system you want to be true. Every brother has the power to release you, if you choose to be free. You cannot accept false witness of him unless you have evoked false witnesses against him. If he speaks not of Christ to you, you spoke not of Christ to him. You hear but your own voice, and if Christ speaks through you, you will hear Him.

Journal
That first sentence really grabs my attention. “Every brother you meet becomes a witness for Christ or for the ego, depending on what you perceive in him.”  When I see a co-worker as being manipulative and mean spirited, it is not because she is, it is because I see her in this way. I perceive it because I want the ego thought system to be true. It is essential that I accept this, and recognize it when it happens if I want my mind to be healed.

What do I do now that I understand what I have been doing? Each time I think of this person, I notice my thoughts and my feelings. If they tell me that I am asking to be convinced that the ego is real and that I want it, then I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. What I really want is sanity. I want to be happy, and to return to the God mind. I have been confused and now I want clarity, so I ask for it.

According to my willingness, this is done for me. Sometimes I have to revisit this idea because, while I want clarity, the ego mind also attracts me. But every time I choose differently, my desire for God grows stronger and my willingness for healing increases. As I do this, I begin to see this one sister of mine, differently. Instead of showing me the ego, she begins to witness to our Divinity. Every time I think of her I either bind myself ever closer to the ego, or I let her strengthen the truth that I am free. It’s up to me.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 17. 10-27-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 17
17 Would you remember the Father? Accept His Son and you will remember Him. Nothing can demonstrate that His Son is unworthy, for nothing can prove that a lie is true. What you see of His Son through the eyes of the ego is a demonstration that His Son does not exist, yet where the Son is the Father must be. Accept what God does not deny, and it will demonstrate its truth. The witnesses for God stand in His light and behold what He created. Their silence is the sign that they have beheld God’s Son, and in the Presence of Christ they need demonstrate nothing, for Christ speaks to them of Himself and of His Father. They are silent because Christ speaks to them, and it is His words they speak.

Journal
“Would you remember the Father? Accept His Son and you will remember Him.” I want to remember my Father and so I will accept His Son. His Son is every one of us together. I watch my mind for judgmental thoughts about anyone, and when I find them I know I must be wrong. There is nothing my brother can do that changes his nature.

He is innocent, and more than innocent, He is the Son of God. Nothing that is done within this illusion of time and space demonstrates his unworthiness. Within time, he is guilty, but he is not in time; he is in God. The illusion of guilt does not alter reality. When I become temporarily confused and start to believe what my eyes show me, I ask for the Atonement. The eyes are made to prove the unprovable, to provide me a picture of what I want to believe, not what is real.

I don’t want to try to prove that my brother is not the Son of God by witnessing his errors. I don’t have to do this. I have allowed the Holy Spirit to show me what lies behind the ego story of a brother and so I know the miracle of a changed perception. I wish I had words to adequately describe what this feels like.  It doesn’t seem enough to just say that I went from chaos to peace.

Some things in the Course gain meaning only through the experience of them, and once experienced, the understanding is irrefutable. Who would return to hell once Heaven is glimpsed? Well, never to return to hell, because I know there is something else now, but I still spend time in purgatory, it seems. I seem to need to make the decision for Heaven many times before I have made my final decision. But could I go back to not knowing there is another way? No. That is not possible. Can’t get the toothpaste back in the tube!

Here is the sentence that makes my heart speed up. “The witnesses for God stand in His light and behold what He created.” Oh my! I want this! I want to stand in God’s light, look at you and see what God created. I want to witness to your reality and so know God. I want to be silent in the presence of such radiant beauty, and simply allow Christ to speak.

Yesterday, I looked for Christ in everyone I saw. It was a lovely day. It was not a perfect attempt, and I was well aware of the ego pushing back, pointing out errors, even an emotional reaction to the whole thing. I began to feel unaccountable irritation with certain people. But I also wanted, beyond ego thinking, to have this day of Christ consciousness. So it was given me and I loved it! Today, I am asking that I stand witness to God’s creations everywhere I go. I am willing to be silent and let Him speak through me.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: V: The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 16. 10-26-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 16

16 Do not underestimate the appeal of the ego’s demonstrations to those who would listen. Selective perception chooses its witnesses carefully, and its witnesses are consistent. The case for insanity is strong to the insane. For reasoning ends at its beginning, and no thought system transcends its source. Yet reasoning without meaning cannot demonstrate anything, and those who are convinced by it must be deluded. Can the ego teach truly when it overlooks truth? Can it perceive what it has denied? Its witnesses do attest to its denial, but hardly to what it has denied. The ego looks straight at the Father and does not see Him, for it has denied His Son.

Journal
What Jesus seems to be telling me in this paragraph is that the ego has something to say and if I am interested and want to believe it, then I will. That does not make it true, it only means that I want it to be true. When I was holding a grievance against someone, I saw justification for that grievance every time I was around this person.

The grievance was the ego interpretation of this person’s actions and I was fully buying into that interpretation. But when I realized how painful it is to separate myself in this way, I changed my mind. I decided that I wanted to be happy and I asked for help to see differently. My prayer was answered and I began to see this person’s actions in another way as I chose to become aware of the Holy Spirit’s interpretation.

Now when I see him I smile. Every time. It just makes me happy to see him. Nothing changed about this person. The only change occurred in my mind. I wanted to see the Christ that was in him, and so Christ Vision was given me. The transition from seeing with ego and seeing with Holy Spirit seemed to take time because I needed time to fully let go of my judgments.

I had a lot invested in my grievance and I had to divest myself of it. I continued to see, first with ego then with Holy Spirit for awhile as I learned through contrast that the ego had nothing to offer that I want. The ego can show me what I think I want, but it cannot show me truth. Once I make a new decision, I understand why I want the truth. The ego illusion was blinding me to the Son and thus to God.

How could the Son of God stand right in front of me and I not see Him? I saw what I wanted to see. That is all the ego does for me. It shows me what I want to see, not what would make me happy, not the truth. The ego cannot give me those things because the ego doesn’t have them to give. The power to choose is mine. To see God, I must choose to see His Son. What grievance could be more important than that?

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 15. 10-22-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 15
15 The ego makes no attempt to understand this, and it is clearly not understandable, but the ego does make every attempt to demonstrate it, and this it does constantly. Analyzing to attack meaning, the ego succeeds in overlooking it and is left with a series of fragmented perceptions which it unifies on behalf of itself. This, then, becomes the universe it perceives. And it is this universe which, in turn, becomes its demonstration of its own reality.

Journal
I have been allowing my mind to see the ego attack on meaning in a larger sense. I looked at how it works at those times I am sick and those times I am upset with coworkers. I was thinking about relationships that have suffered this ego attack, and fear of lack and loss. But really, all of those categories are just more ego attack on wholeness.

It is the ego saying that a threatened relationship is different than when my income is threatened. So, I see all these different forms of separation, then I see the different stories around each form. The ego separates things until they are unrecognizable. What seems to help is to become willing to see the sameness in all things. Then the Holy Spirit can heal my mind of this insane fragmentation.

If I am caught up in the story, I will see only separation. I will see part of a story, and focus only on the part that interests me. I will see things through the filter of my beliefs so that what I see will be different than what someone else sees. I then wonder how it is that the other person could be so wrong when I find the “truth” so obvious. The level of confusion is so profound that I cannot find my way out alone. I need help.

When I ask the Holy Spirit for help with any perceived problem, He starts with me where I think I am and then sends me thoughts that lead me out of the story and toward truth. No matter what the story or what emotion the story elicits, it is never about that story. It is always about the belief that sourced the story and then projected it into the world. So He brings me to that belief and then I have the choice of keeping it or letting it go. If I don’t see the value in keeping it, the belief is removed from my mind.

Sometimes I have to go through the process a number of times until I finally decide that I don’t want it anymore. The point here is that the story I am experiencing is just a reflection of wrong minded thinking. It is an idea and that is all. It is either a true idea or false idea. The false idea doesn’t exist because God did not create it. So there is only a true idea. Wow! Look how the Holy Spirit undid the complicated and shattered meaning the ego tries to demonstrate, and brings us to the simple unified truth. Everything is an idea and only true ideas exist. Like it says at the beginning of the Course:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exis

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