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Study of Text, C 15: V. The Holy Instant and Special Relationships, P 5. 1-18-18

V. The Holy Instant and Special Relationships, P 5
5 The Holy Spirit knows no one is special. Yet He also perceives that you have made special relationships, which He would purify and not let you destroy. However unholy the reason you made them may be, He can translate them into holiness by removing as much fear as you will let Him. You can place any relationship under His care and be sure that it will not result in pain, if you offer Him your willingness to have it serve no need but His. All the guilt in it arises from your use of it. All the love from His. Do not, then, be afraid to let go your imagined needs, which would destroy the relationship. Your only need is His.

Journal
There are a lot of little nuggets in this paragraph. The main point, of course, is that if left to our own devices we tend to destroy our relationships. However, if we will give them to the Holy Spirit, they will be transformed for us. But I noticed some important ideas in here that I want to look at.

The first thing I noticed is that the Holy Spirit knows that no one is special and at the same time, He perceives that we have made special relationships. I had to smile as I thought about this. It is like when my kids were little. Sometimes they would be afraid of something that was not really fearful. I knew there was nothing to be afraid of, but I still understood they believed in the fear, and so I responded lovingly and made them feel safe again.

We don’t know what to do with our relationships. We completely misunderstand them. We think that we need our child or partner, and this need becomes the driving force in the relationship. If the need is not met, the relationship is destroyed. The destruction is always the perception of a loss of love, sometimes temporary and sometimes permanent. A relationship given to the Holy Spirit is safe from this loss.

How does the Holy Spirit do this? He removes the fear from them. If we let Him. If we put our relationships under His care and let them serve His purpose, they will never result in pain. Here, Jesus says that all the guilt arises from our use of them. And this is another point he emphasizes; the fear he talks about comes from guilt.

We give our relationships the purpose of getting something we think we need and so we feel guilty. In another section, Jesus will explain this more thoroughly, but basically, we think we are taking from someone else what we don’t have and are offering something in return that is of lesser value. So we feel like we have cheated the other. (My words, not his.) This is the source of the guilt and guilt always causes fear.

The only thing holding us back from taking the Holy Spirit up on this incredible offer is the fear that we will not get our needs met. We really believe we need something from these others and we are afraid to let go of this idea. The solution is in the last two sentences of this paragraph. It says: Do not, then, be afraid to let go your imagined needs, which would destroy the relationship. Your only need is His.

We don’t have to be afraid to let go of our needs because they are imagined. They are like the monsters under the bed that children were so afraid of. They are no more real than that. The Holy Spirit knows what we really need and will supply it as long as we still believe in needs. When we turn our relationships over to the Holy Spirit, the only thing we give up is fear and guilt, and what we gain is love.

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