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Study of Text, Chapter 11: III. From Darkness to Light, P 1. 9-3-15

III. From Darkness to Light P 1

Journal
Right now I am feeling anxious because I have to talk to a customer about a mistake I made. I want to do it right this moment and I know the reason I am in such a hurry is that I feel guilty and afraid, and I want to make everything right. This is always the ego solution to everything I think is wrong. I hate how I feel, so the ego says I need to do something to make it right. I must find the right words to make up for my error and the sooner the better.

The Holy Spirit, on the other hand, is gently nudging me in another direction. The situation is not the problem. The problem is the ego interpretation of the situation. The ego says I am wrong and guilty and in trouble. The Holy Spirit says that the problem is that I believe I am this story and that I am endangered at every turn.

He says that the story of Myron making a mistake is the effect of the belief in my mind that I am separated from God and so am vulnerable. It is the effect of believing the thought that life is not fair and that guilt is an endless, awful burden that is mine to carry. So fixing the story isn’t going to help. I will still be left with these mistaken thoughts that will simply make more stories of disaster.

Other than the thoughts in my mind about the mistake I made and what I must do to correct it, nothing has happened in regard to this situation. I am hurting myself with each fear thought I entertain. I am moving myself further and further from the Light that is in my mind. The Holy Spirit will comfort me and guide me if I turn to Him. But to turn to Him, I must turn from the ego.

I cannot be at peace if I try to listen to both voices. They speak different languages, they turn in different directions. Trying to walk both paths at the same time keeps me in conflict and conflict is painful. I am suffering, but it is suffering I brought on myself. It will stop the moment I choose. I will choose God, Who has never led me astray and never failed me.

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