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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 14. 10-21-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 14
14 The ego’s interpretation of the laws of perception are, and would have to be, the exact opposite of the Holy Spirit’s. The ego focuses on error and overlooks truth. It makes real every mistake it perceives, and with characteristically circular reasoning concludes that because of the mistake consistent truth must be meaningless. The next step, then, is obvious. If consistent truth is meaningless, inconsistency must be true. Holding error clearly in mind, and protecting what it has made real, the ego proceeds to the next step in its thought system: Error is real and truth is error.

Journal
The ego focuses on error and overlooks truth. As soon as I read this sentence I saw how true this is and I saw that the ego then makes the error real. I got a call from an angry customer this morning. He had asked for a repair, and the repair didn’t work. In fact, this is his third time to call about the same repair. What I did was call the repairman and tell him what happened. I told him it must be done and done right, and everything cleaned up. I was very firm about this.

I did what I needed to do to get the problem solved. It should have been over at that point, but what happened is that the ego mind felt aggrieved and felt like anger was called for. It had stories to justify its position on this. The ego overlooked the truth that everyone involved is innocent and that there was a mistake to be corrected and that was all. Instead, it made the error real, insisting that it should never have happened and that the repairman was guilty for doing a shoddy job, and therefore, that my anger was justifiable.
Immediately, I turned to the Holy Spirit for His interpretation of the situation. I saw a problem, I took care of the problem, it’s over. There is no need for guilt or anger. Everyone is innocent and this is true in every case no matter what happened. In the world mistakes are made, but in reality nothing has happened and God’s creation remains as it was created.

Even so, I notice how intent the ego mind is on finding the guilty party and how it loves its righteous anger. But this time, I am not going to join the ego. I see the temptation, I understand it, but I am not interested. I see that the urge to be angry is just a reaction to fear. There is fear of losing a customer and fear of not making the right choice, of having to take on the role of “boss” as I speak to the repairman and not feeling qualified for that role. There is the fear of being judged harshly by the repairman. The fear he and others will see in me the same error I see in them. I give all this to Spirit and let it stay there.

It is not my goal to be the best sales person, or to keep customers. It is not my goal to look good in someone’s eyes, to earn their respect, or their acceptance. It is not my goal to be the boss or to avoid that responsibility. It is my goal to watch my mind, to ask for and accept healing, and to see the face of Christ in everyone including me. I need only open to that, to want it. I am doing that to the best of my ability and the Holy Spirit is doing His part, so it is done.

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