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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 9. 10-1-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 10
10 Your recognition that whatever seems to separate you from God is only fear, regardless of the form it takes and quite apart from how the ego wants you to experience it, is therefore the basic ego threat. Its dream of autonomy is shaken to its foundation by this awareness. For though you may countenance a false idea of independence, you will not accept the cost of fear if you recognize it. Yet this is the cost, and the ego cannot minimize it. If you overlook love you are overlooking yourself, and you must fear unreality because you have denied yourself. By believing that you have successfully attacked truth, you are believing that attack has power. Very simply, then, you have become afraid of yourself. And no one wants to find what he believes would destroy him.

Journal
Whatever seems to separate me from God is only fear and fear is not real, so nothing real separates me from God. My work right now is to let go of the persistent belief that fear is real and meaningful. I practiced last night. I was driving late to get to a hotel and crossed the Mississippi via an unfamiliar bridge. I don’t see all that well in the dark, and the Mississippi is very wide and the bridge seemed to go on forever. I felt a stab of fear as I peered into the darkness to see the stripe dividing my lane from the other. Then I remembered my purpose and I surrendered the fear and drove the rest of the way in peace.

As soon as I let the fear thought go, the fear was gone. The fear was just a false thought in my mind and had no power and no reality other than what I gave it. This is how I am allowing my mind to be healed of the belief in fear. In my fear, I had seen myself separate from God. In releasing that thought, I felt closer to God. I felt happy and I laughed at myself for my fear thoughts. This happy and peaceful person is much closer to my real self. This is the reason it matters that I chose not to be afraid last night. The fear made me forget who I am. Letting it go reminded me of the truth.

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