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Study of the Text 5-15-13

5-15-13
3 You have no idea of the tremendous release and deep peace that comes from meeting yourself and your brothers totally without judgment. When you recognize what you are and what your brothers are, you will realize that judging them in any way is without meaning. In fact, their meaning is lost to you precisely because you are judging them. All uncertainty comes from the belief that you are under the coercion of judgment. You do not need judgment to organize your life, and you certainly do not need it to organize yourself. In the presence of knowledge all judgment is automatically suspended, and this is the process that enables recognition to replace perception.

Oh, I love this paragraph! First, I do understand how much I hurt myself through judging. I know that I lose my peace each time I judge myself or a brother! I am judging less and less and I have had times when judgment was suspended, so I know how it feels to be free of that burden. This is why I continue my daily process of forgiving. I want more of that freedom.

Yesterday, I said that I didn’t know how to live in this world without judgment, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to do so, trusting that I will not be asked to do the impossible. So many times I have heard people say that everyone judges and that you must judge just to be in this world. I have felt the temptation to believe that myself, but I know it cannot be true.

In this paragraph, Jesus assures me that I don’t need judgment. I don’t need it to organize my world and I don’t need it to organize myself. He says that knowledge will take the place of judgment. If I am talking about living completely identified with ego then I must judge to be in the world, but we are no longer so identified with ego, are we? Our mind is split and we are learning to identify with the Truth in our mind, rather than with ego. We don’t need judgment anymore because we have access to knowledge. It comes through Holy Spirit. If we decide then we must judge. If we ask, then we will be told.

Of course for knowledge to take the place of judgment, I must let go of judgment. I have to release the idea I need to judge or want to judge so that I can be given something else. I am heartened to hear this because that is what I am doing. I do this every day all day long. Every time I notice that I am judging, I offer that thought to the Holy Spirit to be healed. I open my heart to His answer.

Another way I am doing this is by not deciding alone. Jesus said that if I will ask him if he agrees with my decision before I make it, then it will not cause me fear. So I have made a habit of doing this. Here is an example. I thought of going to one of Nouk’s workshops but when I waited for confirmation, I didn’t feel it. I checked in a couple of different times, but I didn’t feel a yes. Then recently, I received a notice about one in Portland and got a strong yes on it. I don’t know why it was no before and now it is yes, but I cannot know everything and the Holy Spirit does.

Sometimes it is not so clear. For instance, I had the thought that I should stop taking a certain medication. The next time I went to the doctor I mentioned that I was going to stop using it. He was adamant that I shouldn’t stop and so I deferred to his judgment. I let myself be swayed by his fear. But it bothered me. I know that all our judgments are based on fear in some form, and so I don’t trust them.

I asked again about the medicine. I talked to Jesus about my uncertainty and asked him to help me know for sure that he was guiding me in this. What happened is that I began to get nauseated every time I took the pill. I stopped taking it and now I feel fine. There was a time when I would have been too afraid, and my doubt too strong to listen to guidance in this way, but all the little practices have built my confidence and motivated me to trust.

Another idea that stands out to me is that I cannot know myself or my brother if I judge us. We are perfect. We are whole, and complete. We are part of God. What is there to judge? How could we be judged? Who could judge us? To judge another or even to judge one’s self is to forget one’s identity. When I judge myself I ask, “Who am I?” It is a good question and the answer undoes the judgment.

I do the same for the brother I have judged. “Who is this one before me, Jesus? My judgment has clouded my mind and hidden his identity from me and so I don’t know him.” Because I don’t know my brother I don’t know myself. He is part of me and if he is lost to me, then I am lost as well. I cannot be whole without him and I cannot be my Self if I am not whole. My very salvation depends on me letting go of this nonsensical idea that I can judge and want to judge.

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