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The Comforter Which Is the Holy Spirit

The Comforter Which Is the Holy Spirit

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 14:26

When Jesus left us, he did not leave us comfortless. He left us with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit has a very specific job. He is the Voice for God within us. When we need God?s love and comfort we have it, because we have the Holy Spirit. My friend called me today. Her family has suffered a death and she is grieving. Death seems so permanent to those of us who are left in this world of form. The body of her loved one is gone. She will not, in this life, see that form again. And yet, Jesus conquered death. He showed us, through his resurrection that there is no death. Still, she grieves for the loss of her daughter in law, because in this world, she is lost to her. Where can she turn for comfort?

The Holy Spirit is the Comforter that was given us by our Father. The Holy Spirit brings us comfort when we turn to Him. When we truly turn to Him with our grief in expectation of relief, it is ours. I have had times when I asked the Holy Spirit for comfort, but didn?t really mean it. What I really wanted was for things to go back to the way I wanted them. I wanted the dead to return from the grave. I wanted lost affections to be restored. I wanted absent lovers to return. I wanted my way. But when I released my demands and asked the Holy Spirit only for the comfort of God that is what I got, and the comfort of God is no small thing.

The Holy Spirit is my comfort and He is also my guide. He is the way- shower. When I am conflicted and unsure of the path, I need only turn to the Holy Spirit. He will direct my ways. There are so many times when I am unsure how to act, what to do. Each time He has been there for me, waiting patiently for me as I tried to work things out on my own, and when I was ready to finally ask for His help, He lovingly gave it, never rebuking me for not turning to Him sooner.

I was raised Catholic and attended church regularly. My faith was important to me. I was a Catechism teacher, and was raising my children Catholic. When I divorced my first husband, I felt that God turned His back on me along with the Church. It was a very hard time for me. My marriage fell apart, and I felt like God had abandoned me as well. I didn?t know where to turn. I was very fearful and fear often takes the form of anger. I became very angry with God. I was also confused, because I didn?t feel like a bad person just because I got a divorce.

I spent many months railing against God, and finally, in my confusion and my grief, I turned to the Holy Spirit. I asked Him for guidance. If I can?t love God as a Catholic, how could I love Him? Would He love me? Was He angry with me? I had practiced my faith in the prescribed ways, but I wasn?t used to going to the Holy Spirit for answers. I didn?t know how the answer would come. Frankly, I was hoping I wasn?t going to encounter any burning bushes. And, of course, I didn?t. I have since learned that the Holy Spirit always answers in a way we can understand and accept.

Soon, I started running in to people who would set me on a new spiritual adventure. I came across books that would help me learn a new way of worshipping my God. I found a church that nurtured my growing spirit. All that stuff, all those people were always there, but I wasn?t aware of them because I wasn?t ready. As soon as I signaled my readiness by asking the Holy Spirit for help, I saw what had been right before my eyes all along. God loves us. He never forces His Love on us, but He keeps it ever available for us in what ever form will be most helpful.

The Holy Spirit teaches me all things. He teaches me how to live my life, how to do God?s work, how to love my brother, how to be joyful, whole and perfect as my God created me.  This is His function and His joy. It is no burden for Him to do this for me. It is what He is for. A couple of years ago I got a call from my older daughter, Sheryl. She asked me if I had seen Susan lately. (Susan is my younger daughter.) She said that she thought Susan had done something to her hair because even though she was wearing a bandana, the little she could see looked strange. This really piqued my curiosity and worried me a little. Susan has the most beautiful hair.

Well, I went by to check it out and was I ever in for a shock. The girl had shaved her head. We are talking about totally bald, not even stubble! I didn?t know what to say. Well, I knew what I wanted to say, but I restrained myself, admirably, if I do say so myself. I had a real problem with this. I was angry. I was sad. I was completely confused with my own reaction. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. After a while of this, I longed for some peace and so, finally, I took the whole issue to the Holy Spirit. I asked Him for some help.

I wasn?t asking Him to talk some sense into my daughter. I wasn?t asking Him to give her back her beautiful hair. I just wanted my peace. He reminded me that Susan is not her body. She is spirit. Spirit cannot be altered. I love her as Spirit. ?So,? I asked, ?Why am I so upset?? Why am I having so much trouble getting over it?? I didn?t even want Susan to take her bandana off around me.

The Holy Spirit helped me to see that I had certain expectations around Susan as my daughter; a certain role for her to fill. I thought I needed her to be beautiful and talented, in a prescribed way. I thought I needed her to represent my success as a mother-whatever that means. As the Holy Spirit, gently and lovingly, showed me these feelings, I was able to release them. It was like cutting strings that were attached to my love, and watching it soar to new heights. I was freed from my judgments. I was at peace.

The funny thing was, the next time I saw her, she seemed more beautiful than ever. Her head has such a lovely shape and without the distraction of her hair, her features were especially lovely. Susan shaved her head for her own reasons, but the Holy Spirit used this incident to teach me how to love.

There are many ways the Holy Spirit helps me. Sometimes I take full advantage of this help. Sometimes I don?t. I had a teacher once, who told me that I should not berate myself for missed opportunities to learn. He said that the Universe is very patient. If you don?t get your lesson the first time, you will be given another chance. I have certainly found this to be true for me.

Marianne Williamson was talking about this in her book, ?A Return to Love.? She tells us about how self destructive she used to be, and how she kept falling back into the same behavior patterns no matter how hard she tried not to. She says that there is only one despair worse than, ?God, I blew it.?- and that?s, ?God, I blew it again.? It was at a twelve-step meeting that she finally heard something that really helped. She heard alcoholics asking God to take away their desire to drink. Well, drinking wasn?t her addiction; her addiction was her own pain. She says, ?It occurred to me that, just as with any other addictive behavior, maybe a power greater than myself could turn me around.?

I greatly admire her clarity in this. It took me a very long time to reach any kind of understanding of my own behavior. I would do things a certain way and when they didn?t work; I would do the same thing again. Strangely enough, the same thing didn?t work that time either. So I would do it again. I don?t think I ever realized that I was attached to my pain. I had gotten used to it; it was comforting in its familiarity. It may not have been all that pleasant, but I could always depend on it being there.

When I finally declared that I had had enough, and decided there must be a better way, I learned to turn to the Holy Spirit. It took some work because I had a life time habit to turn around. Like the ?one day at a time? philosophy, I would take it one thought at a time.? In the past, when my husband would berate me for not doing something the way he wanted me to, I would respond with accusations of my own. The battle would begin. You know, it got to where we knew our lines so well, it hardly seemed worth it to go through the motions. But it was like I enjoyed the pain. I just kept going, even though I knew it would bring us nothing but misery.

Eventually, with the Holy Spirit?s help, I got to the point that I could short circuit the argument. Sometimes I could even turn it into a loving moment. Though I did not choose to stay in that marriage, I am grateful that I was able to use some of our life together to practice going to the Holy Spirit. I learned that my addiction to my own pain could be overcome through surrender. I surrendered my demands and my expectations and just asked God what He wanted me to do in the situation.

This was hard at first because I had grown accustomed to defending myself. The first attempts to surrender were tentative because I was afraid of being vulnerable. But what I learned is that surrender to God does not leave you vulnerable, but rather strengthens you. As my faith grew, so did my comfort level. I?m not afraid of this process any more, and seldom resist it. I can be stubborn about giving up my need to be right, but most of the time, I understand that being happy is more important than being right.

The Holy Spirit is my guide, my teacher and my comforter. Because it is God?s Will that I return to Him, He placed this help within me. My only job is to surrender myself to His help. Let me share something else that Marianne Williamson said. “How ironic. You spend your whole life resisting the idea that there?s someone smarter than you are, and then all of a sudden you?re so relieved to know it?s true. All of a sudden you?re not too proud to ask for help. That?s what it means to surrender to God.? This is how I feel now. I am so relieved to know that I have help. I only need to ask.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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