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The Peace of God Is All I Want

The Peace of God Is All I Want

What value do you place on your peace of mind? I think sometimes I sell my peace too cheaply. How many times have I traded my peace for anger that I thought was justified? How many times have I walked away from a peaceful mind so that I could wallow in self pity? How many times have I decided I would rather stay in fear than be peaceful. I had reason to think about this the other day.

I had been shopping at Albertsons and when I presented my check to pay for my groceries, they turned it down. The cashier explained to me that they use a service to cut down on bad checks, and that service advised them not to take mine. I must have looked totally shocked, because she reassured me that it was probably a mistake and these mistakes happen all the time. I paid for my groceries with a credit card and went home.

On the drive home I kept telling myself that there was no way I could have made such a big mistake with my account that it didn?t have money in it, and that it has been many years since I bounced a check, so that couldn?t be it. Why then did they turn me down? It had to be a mistake I reasoned, but what if it wasn?t? What if someone had taken a checkbook and was using it to finance their vacation? What if someone had stolen my identity? Finally, I gave it all over to God, and felt reassured.

I thought I was pretty calm about it by the time I reached the house. I checked my bank account over the internet and saw that all my money was still there. Then I called the company that denied my check and told them what happened. After asking a lot of personal questions they finally admitted it was an error on their part, and apologized. What I realized was that I had not entirely released this whole thing. I was still upset. I was angry at that company for the embarrassment and inconvenience it had caused me. I was not mean to the woman on the phone, but neither was I kind to her.

After I had hung up, I felt bad that I had been so sharp with her. After all it was not her fault this happened. I wanted to call Albertson?s and give them a piece of my mind. If this company makes mistakes, why were they using them? I wanted someone to be at fault. I wanted someone to take responsibility for this error. I wanted someone to blame.

Suddenly, I stopped what I was doing and asked the Holy Spirit to look at this with me. He showed me that I had given away my peace. I didn?t like the way I felt. I didn?t like being out of peace. The Holy Spirit helped me to see that I was trying to make myself feel better by making it someone else?s fault and then insisting that they fix it. He also helped me to see that this would never work. If I make my peace, or lack of it, someone else?s responsibility I would forever be dependent on forces outside of myself for my happiness.

What became clear to me was that this was a big mistake. The only way I could be sure of having peace was to take responsibility for it in every circumstance. It was so tempting to blame the check cashing company for my unhappiness. After all, they made the mistake that caused my upset, didn?t they? And what about Albertson?s? Weren?t they culpable as well? Didn?t their decision to hire an incompetent company figure in my loss of peace?

I could see that I was very angry about this. I wondered why I was so angry and the Holy Spirit helped me to see that I was feeling attacked. He led me to a course I took through Pathways of Light that talked about understanding attack. Here is how they explain it.

You build a house with your beliefs. It is your mental construction, your mental house (your state of consciousness).

When someone doesn?t agree with your mental house, you may feel that they are trying to attack it, which stimulates a need to build a fence around the house to protect against attack.

You can come from another perspective to see that when someone attacks your house, they are merely reflecting their belief about the house you are identifying with.

You can see it as an attack or merely a reflection of their belief.

It doesn?t have to be looked at as an attack.

OK now, I see that this is exactly what happened to me. I had a mental construct in which I saw myself as a person who didn?t write hot checks; as a person who is trustworthy. It was important to me that I be seen as the kind of person who has enough money to cover the cost of my groceries. Perhaps because this wasn?t always true about me, that image did not feel unassailable, so I felt a strong need to defend it. So, when I was told that they did not trust my check, I felt attacked. I felt like they were attacking my mental house. I wanted to defend that house.

Holy Spirit was helping me to see this differently. The clerk at the store and the woman who worked for the check cashing company were reflecting their belief about my check. Even if they carried it further and saw me as a person who would pass a bad check, they were still just reflecting their belief about me. I don?t have to own this belief, do I? I can choose to see this not as an attack on who I am, but just as a reflection of something these people think.

Did they take my peace? No one can take my peace unless I am willing to give it to them. My peace is my responsibility. Nothing anyone says or does to me can touch my peace unless I willingly allow it. As soon as I realized that peace is not a result of what happens to me, but is a decision I make, all of the anger went away. I realized in that moment, that I would rather have peace of mind, than have someone to make guilty. It was a simple choice. Choose for guilt, blame, and anger, or choose for peace, joy and happiness. Choose to listen to God?s Voice or choose to listen to my own little ego.

After I got clear of the anger, I could see how foolish my first choice had been. What good would choosing to place blame have done? It could not have changed what happened. It could only rob me of my joy, and of the chance to be a teacher for God. I wished I had made that decision earlier, I could have saved myself all that worry. I could have been a teacher of God when I spoke to that woman on the phone. Still, I managed to stop the ego insanity long enough to hear the Holy Spirit speak to me. I heard him remind me that I could have had peace instead of this. At least I was able to use this opportunity to strengthen my spiritual muscles.

I was talking about this to a good friend and she told me about an incident that happened with her. She was having an argument with her husband when suddenly in a sane moment, she was able to say, ?No, I don?t want this.? She was able to say to her husband that she wanted peace instead. Saying it out loud allowed them to break the cycle of attack and defend. From there they were able to change their focus from one of blame and guilt to one of problem solving. She was able to see, just for a moment, that peace was her real goal, and in that moment she chose for God, and God responded to her call.

What a gift we give ourselves when we choose peace.  It is also a gift to everyone else as well. As we allow God to lift us higher up the ladder, we are doing this for our brothers as well. They too, are lifted up that ladder. Being a teacher for God isn?t always about what you say. Your example in the face of a crisis is teaching. During the recent hurricane I heard about a man with a camp ground who offered through his local radio stations, openings for campers with all the amenities-free of charge for those who were fleeing the hurricane. This man is a teacher of God. He is extending God?s Love and is teaching others to do the same through the example of his life. In the stress and anxiety of dealing with catastrophe, He was an island of peace; a reminder that we are comforted and loved, and one of God?s own.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with problems and find it difficult to choose peace instead. Or I will choose peace and then find myself picking up the problems again. When this happens, I may need to take some time out and ask for help. There is a process that I find helpful. Perhaps you, too, could use a way to clear your mind and give the Holy Spirit an invitation to heal your thoughts. Why don’If we try this process right now.

Get comfortable in your chair, close your eyes and relax. ?Envision yourself in the basket of a hot air balloon, sitting on the ground. Jesus is standing with you in the basket. You can see the blue sky above you, and other balloons drifting among the clouds. You wonder why you can?t join them. Looking down at your feet, you see all around you in the basket the concerns of the day… . You imagine that you can pick up one of those concerns, and you hold it up to the light. ?You and Jesus look at the problem, and in his love and acceptance you watch as that problem seems to shrivel up and turn to dust.

Choose another problem, or perhaps a guilty secret, a depressing moment of regret, an offending personality. Do you see some fear thoughts, some anxiety provoking situations?Whatever you find hiding in the dark at your feet, I invite you to bring into God?s comforting Light. ?.As you give this over to Jesus as well, he smiles gently and shows you that it, too is nothing as it dries to dust and blows away. ?As you continue to give Jesus all of your burdens, you notice that without the weight of these problems, your balloon is lifting into the sky. You are lifted and held aloft by God?s Love.

As you revel in the delight of this gentle flight, Jesus places his arm around your shoulders. He lets you know that the peace of God is always yours for the asking. He asks if you have a question that you need to voice, and assures you that you will receive an answer in a way you can hear and understand. Ask your question now, and wait with Jesus for an answer. ?.When you are ready, gently return your attention to the room around you.

Here is what I have learned about peace.
1. No one can take my peace. I can lose it only if I voluntarily give it up.
2. Peace is not about what happens around me. Peace is a decision I make.
3. I can always have peace because this is what God wants for me.
4. I choose peace when I choose the Voice for God over the voice of the ego.
5. Living in peace is my gift to my brother. It is the way I teach for God.
6.        The peace of God is all I want.

As long as I am in this world I will be faced with distractions, with people who feel the need to attack, with fearful situations, because that is what the world is. I do have a choice though, about how I respond to this. I can choose to spread strife and unhappiness, or I can choose to give the gift of peace. It is up to me. Regardless of what is happening in my life, I can decide that the peace of God is all I want. I can quit selling my peace cheaply. I set my intention, right this moment, to choose peace and I invite you to join me in that choice. I choose the peace of God.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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