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What’s Your Plan?

I forget who said this, but I know it is true. The real test of intelligence is the ability to make ones self happy. No matter how smart, or rich, or beautiful you are, if you are not happy, then what have you got? Neither any of those things by themselves, or all of them together will bring happiness. It is a misconception that they will. Sure I would rather have money than not. But I don?t kid myself that money would bring happiness. Having money brings things into my life, not happiness.

So what is your plan for happiness? You have one rather you realize it or not. Your plan may be your parents plan, or some other plan you formulated without conscious thought as you grew up. The question is, is your plan working? Are you happy?

I had a plan most of my life that didn?t work. Now that I look back on it, I question my common sense in not noticing how ineffective it was. Ok, here was my plan in a nutshell. If I was unhappy, I looked around to see who or what was making me unhappy and blamed them for it. That?s it. Oh yeah, sometimes I would try to get them to change. I would write a book on how often that worked, but one page books don?t sell for much.

So how could I have been hooked into a plan that is so obviously flawed and why would I stay with it for such a long time? I think that it is because I never really looked at it. I just got used to being unhappy. I lost sight of the fact that I had a choice. Also, I didn?t know there was any other way to see it. Before I could even consider changing, I had to start really looking at what I was doing.

I started noticing my grievances. Who was I angry at and why? Who did I hold a grudge against? What did I expect from these people and what were my chances of getting it?  I was married three times. Each partner seemed very different from the others. Each marriage seemed very different from the others. But if I really looked at it, they were all the same.

I started out looking for something I didn?t have. I found someone who I thought could supply that need. Though I didn?t think of it, they were doing the same thing. Consciously, or unconsciously we made a bargain. You supply my needs and I?ll supply yours. We called this bargain a marriage.

Everything would be fine until one stopped meeting the needs of the other, or until one of us discovered that we had additional needs that were not being met. Then anger would be the inevitable result. I married this man so that I could be happy, and since I am not happy it must be his fault.

No problem, if he is the reason I am unhappy I?ll just trade him for someone who would make me happy. The problem with this plan is that I am looking for my happiness in the wrong place and so I will never find it. I look for my happiness in someone else, and choose a different person with new circumstances, and because it looks different, I think that it is different. But no, it is the same thing all over again, with the same results.

As long as I look outside myself for my happiness, I am never going to find it. What I will find, is somewhere to put my blame. These are my grievances, and they are like dark clouds hiding the light of the world from me. After a lifetime of collecting grievances, my world becomes dark indeed. It becomes a life filled with depression, anger, fear and guilt.

There is a way out of that darkness. God has a plan. Being God, he knew we would need one, and so He placed within us His Guide. This Guide, this Voice for God, the Holy Spirit, is there to help us get back to the light. He is there to help us choose a new plan for happiness.

We spend our lives collecting grievances. Something goes wrong and we look around for someone to blame.  These grievances collect like a thunder cloud and imprison us in our misery. The Holy Spirit?s plan is to help us release those grievances, and to reclaim our power in God. And indeed, our power in God is great! We can live in the light of God. We can live in joy and freedom, and this is God?s plan for us.  Like any good parent, God wants only happiness for us, his children.

God doesn?t need our help in designing a happy plan for our lives. We can trust that job to Him. What He does need is our complicity in accepting it. In order to see this glorious plan of His, we need to remove the dark clouds we have placed before it. We need to remove the grievances from our lives.

Some of our grievances are obvious. If you were to lose your job you might blame your boss, or the person who took your place. You are unhappy and you think it is their fault. As long as you keep the cause of your unhappiness outside of you, the correction will remain out of your grasp. You have just given your power to someone else. Even if you get a better job, if you are still holding that grudge, you still have that dark cloud obscuring your vision. You are still living in darkness. As long as you believe that someone else has power over you, you will live in fear that they will steal your joy again.

Know that this is not true. Withdraw your projections from the world. You don?t need to place blame. Look within for your happiness. Go to the Christ within and ask God for His plan for your happiness. Getting a new job is a good thing to do, but it isn?t what brings you joy. Forgiveness is the way to bring light into your life again. Release your brother from all blame in your life, and happiness is the inevitable result. This is God?s plan.

Part of God?s plan for happiness for us is abundance. Abundance is not the same as greed. Greed is the collecting of things in an effort to push the darkness back. It never works. You just wind up with more stuff to dust. You wind up spending your time earning money to buy more things that fail to satisfy. True abundance is knowing that what you need will be supplied when you need it. It is never fearing lack because you know that God is your source.

Until you accept your true abundance in God, you will spend your life greedily gobbling up whatever you think will finally fulfill you; special relationships, drugs, electronics, food, the list is endless and a waste of time. It is more than a waste of time, it is an assault on God?s plan for your salvation. It puts you in conflict with your brother.

There is just so much money, stuff, and special love, and if your brother takes it that leaves less for you. That is the law of greed. While we are living under the law of greed, the dark clouds of grievances pile up as we blame our brothers for taking what is ours and condemning us to lack.

Abundance on the other hand is of God. It is perfect as He is; it is unending as He is. There is no need to feel in competition to ?get yours while the getting is good.? In fact the more you get the more there is. The more you give what you got, the more you have. Abundance is a thought, a belief. And a thought cannot be used up. It only grows and is strengthened as it is shared.

Our grievances block the thought of abundance from our consciousness.  As we forgive, the light of abundance becomes stronger and stronger in our minds.  At first faith in God?s abundance feels like walking on water, but as we forgive more and more and the light of God glows brighter in our mind, it feels like walking on rock. We are perfectly supported and perfectly protected in God.

When I checked into a hotel last week, I was disappointed to not get the room I wanted. The clerk was busy and didn?t want to talk about it. I felt my anger rise. I resented being put in that room which I judged to be lesser than the one I wanted. The angrier I became, the more I found to be angry about. After all, anger is based on thought and what I think about grows. I didn?t have a desk to work at in this room. The computer hook up was in an inconvenient place. Never mind, I couldn?t get on line because their set up didn?t allow for pop up blockers and I couldn?t turn off my blocker without going on line. Catch 22.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I was angry at the hotel who messed up my reservation, the clerk who wouldn?t take the time to do anything about it, the person who got my room, whoever he was, and the computer system. The more I thought about it, the more things that seemed to be wrong with my life.  It was like there was a low lying dark cloud hanging over me.

But wait, I recognize that cloud! The problem is, when you allow your grievances to get so far out of hand, the cloud looks darker and feels thicker. It seems so much harder to get through to the light. I kept taking the whole thing to the Holy Spirit to heal. But then I?d change my mind. By golly, this was their fault. Why do I have to change my mind? I?m the one who was wronged.

I hate that feeling of being under a cloud. I wanted my peace back. But each time I started thinking about it, I got side tracked by angry thoughts. I finally got a pencil and paper because writing helps me focus on God?s answer. I started out by telling the Holy Spirit how amazingly hard it is to release a grievance when I let it get this far even though it doesn?t seem like an important issue. I know that this is just a hotel room, and that I am only going to be here a few hours. Why am I so upset? Sometimes these things hit me with the force of a tsunami, seeming to blow away my peace with no warning. It makes me feel like I am out of control. If I can be bowled over by such a small thing, what happens when it is something big?

Here is the answer I got: ?Myron, they are all the same. A grievance is an attack on God because it is an attack on His creations. It doesn?t matter what it is about. You think they are different grievances and divide them up into many categories in an effort to hide their true nature. But there is a part of you that knows what they are. You are not angry at the hotel clerk. You are angry at a god of your own invention; a god that seems to be bringing bad things into your life. That is how all grievances are the same. They change in form only; the content remains the same. You have invented a god of vengeance and you believe in him. That is why you are so angry. The hotel clerk was just a convenient place to project that anger and felt safer than putting it on your god of vengeance.?

?Myron your false idea of God does not hurt Him. He knows Himself and knows you. It does hurt you, though, by keeping you in hell. It robs you of your peace and makes you think that God does not love you and that you are separate from Him. That is hell. You don?t have to stay there. The light is just on the other side of this grievance. Release yourself by releasing God?s children from your grievances. When you know they are perfectly innocent, you will know that you are perfectly innocent as well.?

I thanked Holy Spirit for His words and His support, and I was finally able to release my grievances and step into my joy. God is so good!

So if you are still looking outside yourself for happiness; if you still think happiness can be found in another person, at circuit city, or at the bottom of a bottle; if you still think that you can get rid of your unhappiness by placing the blame on someone else, do I ever have a plan for you! I invite you to try God?s plan of forgiveness instead. I?ve tried it, and I?ve got to tell you, all of heaven is contained within it. Release your grievances and step into the light.

 

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Resolutions

So it is that time of the year again; a time of new beginnings. While everyday is a new day and a new start, New Years day is symbolic of wiping the slate clean and beginning anew.  And so the mind goes to past transgressions, grievances held and changes of all sorts that I long to make part of my life. On the blank paper that is the beginning of a new year and another chance to do my life better, I want to write my life story differently.

This year I want to choose God first in all moments of my life. I want to be a better minister, a better friend, a better mother. I want to put more money in my savings account, and be more organized and lose weight. I?m not even going to waste paper adding exercise more and eat right, having some sense of reality!

Naturally the mind goes to past resolutions, which looked a lot like these, and I can see some progress, but also a lot of times when I did not live up to them.  I do want to look at these places in my life where I fell short of my goals, but only so that I can let them go. The Cherokee have a wise saying; ?Don?t let yesterday use up too much of today.?  It is very easy to be pulled into the quicksand of regret and once there, it is hard indeed to extricate yourself. And what forward movement can I make if I am stuck in my own past, unable to get loose?

And so I ask the Holy Spirit to join me as I take a quick, but honest look at last year. He helps me to see where I veered from my path, and how I might do better this year. He reminds me that He is not delayed in His teaching by my mistakes. He can be held back only by my unwillingness to let them go.

What comes to me clearly is that in making my resolutions, I need to make them with God. First I make all my decisions with God, and then I trust in His strength to keep me on course. And so I ask Him, ?What do You want me to do? Where do You want me to go? What would you have me say??  I don?t get an immediate answer, but I know that I have set the intention to put God in charge of my life, and I know that as long as I keep that intention foremost in my mind, the answer will be there when I need it.

When I come to a fork in the road and stand uncertainly wondering which way to turn, I remember my intention to make all decisions with God, and I ask for guidance. It may come as a mental nudge that when acted upon feels right and brings with it a sense of peace. God never fails to answer though I may fail to listen. Sometimes I come to Him with preconceived ideas of what His answer should be. If I want it my way, He will wait lovingly and patiently for me to choose again, knowing that I will ultimately choose for Him. He knows this because He knows His creations.

I am happiest when I recognize that my will is God?s Will. Then I can avoid some of those wrong turns that hold me in the illusion. I know I have chosen wrongly when I feel depressed, sad, guilty, anxious and fearful. I know I have chosen for God when I feel peaceful, joyful and loving. It is impossible not to know which direction I have taken. I have, however, spent some time in my misery because I was unwilling to admit my error.

Sometimes I need a clear and immediate answer to a problem. At those times I get quiet and ask for guidance. I give the problem to God, minus the solution I had in mind, and wait for His solution. Sometimes not telling God what His answer should look like is the hardest part, but I have had enough experience with my own answers to know that I don?t have enough information to know what is best. How could I? I can?t possibly know how anything will affect everyone involved now and in the future. And when God answers, He answers for everyone. My solution will never be one that will cause harm to anyone else.

Once I have decided that I want God?s answer, I wait quietly for it to come. Sometimes I write what comes to me, trusting that it will be what God wants me to hear. It took me a little practice to do this, and more practice to trust what I got, but it is a very helpful process and it is comforting to know that God speaks to me through His Voice, the Holy Spirit. He must love me so!  Sometimes the answer comes as a thought or an inspiration. I suddenly just have an idea that puts everything right, or suggests a course of action. It may come as I sit there in meditation, or it may come as I go about my day, but it always comes. God is consistent. His love and His care for me never waver.

So I have, with God?s direction set my goals. What must I do to see these goals through. How can I make this year?s resolutions meaningful over the entire year? At this time next year, I don?t want to review 2006, and find that I forgot my resolutions shortly after making them. The secret to accomplishing any goal is singleness of purpose.

If I have only one goal concerning something, then accomplishing it becomes easy. One of the goals I set myself for this year is the relinquishment of guilt in all its forms. What a terrific goal that is! I am excited at the thought of working on this. On the other hand, I wonder how I can possibly do this.

First let me look at how I offer guilt to others. If one of my children wants to do something that I see as a bad idea, I might intimate that this would hurt me. Oooh, the ego is a sly devil isn?t he? See how he slipped guilt into that situation? My goal changed. It started as the relinquishment of guilt, but now my goal is to control my child through the application of guilt.

I argue with God about this saying that it is because I love them and want to protect them. Surely in this case, my goal should be different. The Holy Spirit gently reminds me that my goal is the relinquishment of guilt. He asks me to put my trust in the strength of God, not in my own solutions. Can I trust God with my children? Well, maybe. Ok, yes I can. God always answers for the good of each person involved. My solution wouldn?t have worked anyway since long practice has made my kids immune to my manipulations.

When I choose guilt for myself, I am reminded of my resolution. Why would I choose guilt, anyway? What could be my goal in choosing guilt? All of my life I have been taught that guilt is the proper response to error. It is what keeps me from doing wrong. But do I need guilt to keep me in line? I know the difference between right and wrong. Anyway when ever did guilt keep me from doing what I wanted to do?

What is my real goal when I choose guilt? Is guilt what I do instead of correction? Have I decided that I would prefer to experience guilt rather than give up a particular behavior? I have seen people drink themselves into a stupor and then feel so guilty that they did it again! Well, that certainly worked. The goal became to have an excuse to get drunk.

I?ve done the same kind of thing with food. I promise myself that I am going to stay away from sweets, then somehow find myself in a bakery. I feel really guilty for my transgression, and figure what?s the point, I?ll just do it again. I may as well eat everything in sight. So my goal became to use guilt to allow me to continue my behavior. My guilt becomes the glue that holds me in the past, ensuring the future will never be any different.

I choose to make peace my goal in every situation. There are many other goals which want to pop up as I choose the goal of peace. If I want peace to be my goal, then I must have that as the only goal in a particular situation. I cannot also have as my goal to be right. It is easy to add the goal of being respected, listened to, cared about.

When I add those goals, it makes it impossible not to feel justified in anger, and there goes my peace. I have to decide what I really want; do I want peace, or do I want to be right? Do I want peace, or do I want to be treated differently? What is my goal?

Having decided on my goals, how do I accomplish them? Certainly it is not always easy to stay true to my decision. On my own, I would not be able to, but I am not on my own. I can depend on the strength of God. There is a prayer from A Course in Miracles that I often use when tempted to give up on a resolution is, ?God is the strength in which I trust.? I am wise not to trust in my own strength, but I can trust in God?s strength to support me.

Choosing resolutions for the New Year is a way of setting my intention. I make my choices with God, and I trust in Him to strengthen me as I practice them. There is a New Years prayer that a friend sent me through email that I would like to share with you.

Dear God,
In preparation for an incredible New Year,
we release the failures and successes of the past.
Everything that has gone before is now complete.
We empty ourselves of all our yesterdays.
In this moment, we are present with You.
Thank You very much.
Amen

 

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

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