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Study of Manual for Teachers 1/17/12

Day 17

A. Development of Trust
1 First, they must go through what might be called “a period of undoing.” This need not be painful, but it usually is so experienced. It seems as if things are being taken away, and it is rarely understood initially that their lack of value is merely being recognized. How can lack of value be perceived unless the perceiver is in a position where he must see things in a different light? He is not yet at a point at which he can make the shift entirely internally. And so the plan will sometimes call for changes in what seem to be external circumstances. These changes are always helpful. When the teacher of God has learned that much, he goes on to the second stage.

What I have noticed is that the stages as they appear in my life are not clearly defined, one from another. It seems that I slip from one stage to another and back again, but each time the return to a stage is different, the stay there not so intense or so long.

I am having the hardest time remembering what it was like to be afraid of letting go, a time when I did not believe that all of the changes were helpful. It is hard even to remember when the changes seemed to be outward, and I believed things were being taken from me.

Right now, I am letting go of the idea that I need my children to be something special to me. This seems to be a difficult transition to me because I still value the special relationships we have. Because I value the specialness in the relationships I feel reluctant to lose the outward signs that I am very special to my children. I don’t mean that I am being asked to give up our relationships, but only to give up the specialness.

So I am still having the experience of undoing, but now as it happens I am aware of the outward appearance but that is not where my focus is, as I know the change occurs within. I also know this change will be good. I trust that this is true because it has always been true as I have gone through these changes, but it seems I have to wait for the personality-self to catch up to this. The Myron-self feels fearful about it, and is afraid that it will be a loss though she can see, intellectually, that this would not be true.

When I first began the undoing process I did not have this certainty. I had to develop trust as I did the practice. When I was completely unsure that this was for my best good, undoing was indeed painful. It is surprisingly hard to put the difference into words.

Imagine that you had the ability to levitate, but you didn’t know about the ability, had no idea you could levitate. I come along and tell you to step off a cliff. I tell you that you cannot imagine the freedom you will feel when you realize you don’t have to worry about falling ever again. And to know this extraordinary freedom all you have to do is step out.

Even though you might trust me, or know you should trust me, you would be reluctant to give up the “safety” of the ground that seems to support you and keep you from certain death. You would value this sense of safety and be reluctant to let it go, and yet this trustworthy person is offering you the chance to be forever free of your fear of falling.

The true change being offered is that you would be giving up the sense of loss, vulnerability, and fear. But the outward appearance is that you would have to give up the safety of the ground under your feet. It would probably feel very frightening and very painful to contemplate and no matter how much you trusted me, extremely hard to take that first step into air.

Imagine now that you did finally step out and discovered that you really could levitate. The next time I told you that you could do something extraordinary you might experience fear, but you would have developed some trust and it would not be nearly so hard. You would have seen that I mean you only good. Suppose the next thing I tell you is that you can walk through fire and be unharmed. You will still be reluctant to let go of the safety of the place that has no fire, but you will consider my words with less trepidation than when you had the first experience of undoing a belief.

After many experiences of undoing, I know that they are all for my good, and I do trust the Holy Spirit. I have learned that I value all the wrong things, and though I feel some trepidation at giving up some beliefs, such as the one that says I need to be special to my children, I also know that I will. I have developed trust to that degree and so this process is not seen as being as painful as it used to be and it is not so protracted.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 1/16/12

Day 16
2 All differences among the Sons of God are temporary. Nevertheless, in time it can be said that the advanced teachers of God have the following characteristics:

I. Trust
1 This is the foundation on which their ability to fulfil their function rests. Perception is the result of learning. In fact, perception is learning, because cause and effect are never separated. The teachers of God have trust in the world, because they have learned it is not governed by the laws the world made up. It is governed by a power that is in them but not of them. It is this power that keeps all things safe. It is through this power that the teachers of God look on a forgiven world. 

2 When this power has once been experienced, it is impossible to trust one’s own petty strength again. Who would attempt to fly with the tiny wings of a sparrow when the mighty power of an eagle has been given him? And who would place his faith in the shabby offerings of the ego when the gifts of God are laid before him? What is it that induces them to make the shift?

I try to resist the urge to look at appearances and so judge where I am in the development of trust, but its hard not to do so. I seem not to have reached the final stage of achievement, and which step I am on varies with the moment. But I am absolutely not the frightened child with little trust that I once felt I was.

I have learned trust through persistent application of willingness. I have walked through the darkness more in hope of arriving on the other side than in trust that I would. Non-the-less, I did walk, and that required some degree of trust. I cannot say I have reached the point that I never place my faith in the shabby offerings of the ego, but I have reached the point that I always change my mind, and usually pretty quickly.

When I read this paragraph I couldn’t think what to say. I don’t feel like an eagle. I still feel often feel like the sparrow. But on second thought, I realize that I turn to that mighty power within over and over, perhaps not perfectly, and perhaps not first, but absolutely every time. I believe in that power.

What does it mean to trust the world? I have had deep distrust of the world, but that is because I always saw the world through the ego. As the ego is being undone in my mind, what is emerging is a vision very different than I had before. Instead of seeing a world out to get me, and me the helpless victim, I am beginning to see a world that only reflects my wishes. It shows me exactly what I want to see. In this, it is perfectly trustworthy.

I begin to understand that everything is perfect. Everything either reflects truth, or it reflects separation, and it is perfect. When it reflects separation I realize that this is what I have been asking for and now I can change my mind and make a different choice. Perfect. Having given my willingness to see differently I have learned to trust the power that is not of me but in me, and so when I recognize that my perception is off, I call on that power to heal my mind. To the degree I am willing to do this, I look on a forgiven world.

Holy Spirit, I am so happy to begin this study of the Development of trust. I want to be Your advanced teacher, and I understand that trust is the foundation that will allow me to become the teacher You have asked me to be. Please help me as I go through this section. I give You my thoughts and beliefs and ask that You purify them and return them to me so that my perception is as close to truth as it is possible to be. I trust You. Please teach me perfect trust.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 1/15/12

Day 15

4. WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF GOD’S TEACHERS?

1 The surface traits of God’s teachers are not at all alike. They do not look alike to the body’s eyes, they come from vastly different backgrounds, their experiences of the world vary greatly, and their superficial “personalities” are quite distinct. Nor, at the beginning stages of their functioning as teachers of God, have they as yet acquired the deeper characteristics that will establish them as what they are. God gives special gifts to His teachers, because they have a special role in His plan for Atonement. Their specialness is, of course, only temporary; set in time as a means of leading out of time. These special gifts, born in the holy relationship toward which the teaching-learning situation is geared, become characteristic of all teachers of God who have advanced in their own learning. In this respect they are all alike.

Jesus says God’s teachers don’t look alike and that their personalities are distinct. That caught my attention because when I first started studying the Course I thought His teachers would be perfect in their outward appearance. I don’t mean looks of course, but I thought they would act like they were already awake, and it was confusing for me when that didn’t happen. In fact, it seems that many of them have lots of personality flaws.

I had to learn to not confuse the messenger with the message, and of course it was an opportunity to practice forgiveness and look at my desire to judge. I would not be able to take my place among the teachers of God until I let go of this mistaken belief because I would never live up to my standards and so would never feel worthy.

The special gifts Jesus speaks of would be things like the ability to channel and to scribe such as Helen did and Regina does. Maybe the ability to write like I do. I have always had the desire to write but every time I tried to do that it would be just awful. I decided to just settle for being a reader. Then one day I felt a strong desire to write an article for Unity Magazine. I knew I couldn’t write, but I felt such a strong desire to share that I asked God to help me. The story just flowed from me and it was published.

I think that was the first time I listened to the Holy Spirit and wrote down what I was given. I had no idea that this is what happened and had never heard of such a thing. Afterwards, I was so impressed with my writing I tried to write a fictional story. It was as awful as before. I didn’t understand it but assumed it was a one time shot and forgot about writing for a long time.

The next time I wrote was for Pathways of Light and I did it because I felt I was supposed to, and I knew that it should be my personal story and completely open and honest. Since up until that time I had always been reluctant to share on a personal level I was very surprised by what I wrote, but never questioned it.

I always began the writing by asking Holy Spirit to guide my words and I’ve been writing like this ever since. I now simply accept that the writing doesn’t come from me, but through me. I know that the Myron personality is not responsible and gets none of the credit. In fact that part is funny. The ego self wants to grab all the credit and be a famous Course writer and have everyone be amazed at her accomplishments.

Then she is afraid and feels like stepping back and pretending to barely exist, so as not to draw attention to herself. She thinks that she will fail and everyone will know what a fake she is. It is so typical ego it is funny. But in this one area of my life I hear the ego and am completely clear that it is just the ego and meaningless. I am simply following directions; my only part is to not get in the way. Sometimes I do that part well, and sometimes not. It doesn’t matter. The Holy Spirit works around all that stuff.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 1/14/12

Day 14
5 The third level of teaching occurs in relationships which, once they are formed, are lifelong. These are teaching-learning situations in which each person is given a chosen learning partner who presents him with unlimited opportunities for learning. These relationships are generally few, because their existence implies that those involved have reached a stage simultaneously in which the teaching-learning balance is actually perfect. This does not mean that they necessarily recognize this; in fact, they generally do not. They may even be quite hostile to each other for some time, and perhaps for life. Yet should they decide to learn it, the perfect lesson is before them and can be learned. And if they decide to learn that lesson, they become the saviors of the teachers who falter and may even seem to fail. No teacher of God can fail to find the Help he needs.

I see these relationships as the ones I have with my children and my family members. I think that I am my kid’s forgiveness lesson more than they are mine, though of course, it goes both ways. One area I am working with right now that centers around my children is my desire to please them. It seems it is finally time to accept healing in this area. When I first looked at this I cried just to think about having to do anything about it. The inconvenience this people-pleasing creates for me seemed a small price to pay to avoid really looking at the fear behind it.

I used Byron Katie worksheets to help me get to the thoughts that need healing. I talked to my children about this and asked them how they felt when they had to say no to someone they love. I had a good talk with Toby, my youngest, sharing with him my problem and my fears. I told him that saying yes to him and my other children was not always love, but sometimes fear; that I was actually afraid of them, afraid they would not love me if I said no. Saying that out loud to him was very helpful. It took the fear out of looking at it.

He shared that he knew this about me and that he was careful not to ask me for something that would be too much, like not asking for money I didn’t have. He knew more about me than I did, it seems. I told him that I want to heal this in myself because it is not his job to take care of me. That is my job. I’m not sure where I am in this process, but I don’t feel near as much discomfort when I think of it so I know that I am doing what needs to be done. I am accepting there is something that needs to be healed, and I am giving my willingness that it be done.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 1-13-12

Day 13
4 Each teaching-learning situation is maximal in the sense that each person involved will learn the most that he can from the other person at that time. In this sense, and in this sense only, we can speak of levels of teaching. Using the term in this way, the second level of teaching is a more sustained relationship, in which, for a time, two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate. As with the first level, these meetings are not accidental, nor is what appears to be the end of the relationship a real end. Again, each has learned the most he can at the time. Yet all who meet will someday meet again, for it is the destiny of all relationships to become holy. God is not mistaken in His Son.

Hah! Two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate. That sounds exactly like my marriages. I was Catholic at the time of my first divorce. The priest said I would no longer be allowed to teach Catechism or receive the sacraments. I was very angry with God for about a year, but I’ve since forgiven Him. ~smile~

I experienced a lot of shame at not being able to sustain a marriage relationship, and a lot of guilt. But Jesus tells us here that the relationships we have are deliberate. We don’t just form relationships accidentally and we get as much from the relationship as we are both able to at the time. That is a very comforting thing for me to know. Divorce was not a sin, or even a failure. We learned what we could and then we separated, which when put like that, makes perfect sense. Why would we remain together if there was nothing else for us to gain from the relationship?

Jesus also tells us that all relationships are destined to become holy, so these aborted relationships will be fulfilled at some time. A part of my mind is relieved at this. I am here to save the world through forgiveness, and it would be disturbing to think I passed up a chance to do so and now it is too late. But another part of my mind holds the memories of all that went wrong in these relationships and really doesn’t want to go there again.  Holy Spirit, could you speak to me about this?

Holy Spirit: The memories you speak of are the memories of your judgments of what happened. As your mind is healed, the judgments and the desire to judge will fall away, and so will the pain and suffering. Your experience of the situation will be very different, indeed, as you see the one before you as he is rather than as you have thought you needed him to be. You have had some experience with this already, have you not?

Me: Yes, actually I have. I have seen the anger fall away as I forgave Greg for all I thought he was guilty. I was surprised, too, that as I forgave myself for the mistakes I thought I made, it was simple to forgive him. It seemed a lot of the anger I directed towards him was just projection of my guilt onto him. When I forgave myself, I didn’t need him to be guilty.

Oh, I see. That is what you mean when you say the experience will be very different when I see him as he is rather than as I thought I needed him to be. I still don’t want to return to that relationship, and there are others that I dread the thought of returning to.

Holy Spirit: Yes, these are the parts of the relationships that remain unforgiven, or to say it differently, that you are still judging. Continue the work you are doing now as you practice forgiveness. When you next meet your brother you will welcome him with a loving heart unburdened by judgment.

Me: This is hard for me to imagine in some cases, but I know this is just a measure of my desire to judge, and judgment is the cause of my fear, not the actual situation or person. I will gladly continue my practice

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 1-12-12

Day 12

2 The simplest level of teaching appears to be quite superficial. It consists of what seem to be very casual encounters; a “chance” meeting of two apparent strangers in an elevator, a child who is not looking where he is going running into an adult “by chance,” two students “happening” to walk home together. These are not chance encounters. Each of them has the potential for becoming a teaching-learning situation. Perhaps the seeming strangers in the elevator will smile to one another; perhaps the adult will not scold the child for bumping into him; perhaps the students will become friends. Even at the level of the most casual encounter, it is possible for two people to lose sight of separate interests, if only for a moment. That moment will be enough. Salvation has come.

3 It is difficult to understand that levels of teaching the universal course is a concept as meaningless in reality as is time. The illusion of one permits the illusion of the other. In time, the teacher of God seems to begin to change his mind about the world with a single decision, and then learns more and more about the new direction as he teaches it. We have covered the illusion of time already, but the illusion of levels of teaching seems to be something different. Perhaps the best way to demonstrate that these levels cannot exist is simply to say that any level of the teaching-learning situation is part of God’s plan for Atonement, and His plan can have no levels, being a reflection of His Will. Salvation is always ready and always there. God’s teachers work at different levels, but the result is always the same.
Two thoughts occur to me as I read this paragraph. The first is that I am dismayed to think how many opportunities I have had to offer salvation, and have actively chosen not to, or have thoughtlessly chosen not to. The clerk who checked me out at the store, and others I looked right through, barely glancing at them, my thoughts on my own interests which had nothing to do with theirs.

The fellow shopper who seemed to be in my way, the child throwing a tantrum in a restaurant where I had planned to have a quiet meal at the end of a long day, the driver who raced to get the parking space up front that I thought was mine; these are all opportunities to set aside the thought of separate interests. I am going to open my eyes tomorrow. I’m going to be aware of these chances to offer salvation to that person in front of me and so to myself. I think it will be a happy way to spend the day.

The second thing that occurs to me is that I am still confused about levels within the illusion. I have thought of those chance encounters as small and so not important. And I have thought of the relationships with my friends and children and coworkers as being more important because they seem to impact me in a stronger way.

Paragraph 3 helps me to understand this. My work seems to be different in some relationships than in others, that is the level of work required for some relationships may be more intense, but the healing is equal. Perhaps my day of being more aware, and of taking full advantage of every learning-teaching opportunity will help me let go of the mistaken belief that there are levels of learning-teaching.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 1-11-12

3. WHAT ARE THE LEVELS OF TEACHING?

1 The teachers of God have no set teaching level. Each teaching-learning situation involves a different relationship at the beginning, although the ultimate goal is always the same; to make of the relationship a holy relationship, in which both can look upon the Son of God as sinless. There is no one from whom a teacher of God cannot learn, so there is no one whom he cannot teach. However, from a practical point of view he cannot meet everyone, nor can everyone find him. Therefore, the plan includes very specific contacts to be made for each teacher of God. There are no accidents in salvation. Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship. They are ready for each other. 
Every sentence in this paragraph tells me something I am happy to know. Relationships have different forms but all have the same goal. Through the teaching-learning process they have the potential to become holy relationships in which they look on each other and see only innocence. While this can happen with any two, there are very specific contacts for all of us and they will show up in our lives.

In light of this information I look at the relationships in my life and see them in an entirely different light. My relationship with my boss has seemed to be complex. I work for my younger brother and over the past 16 years of this relationship, there has been a lot of adjustments as we learned to separate our relationship as siblings from our relationship as boss and employee.

There was sometimes a lot of contention as I often projected my frustrations onto him, and probably he did the same to me.  There was a time during those years when I wondered if our personal relationship would survive our work relationship. But there are no mistakes in salvation, so our coming together was for this purpose, and in every union there is always the potential for a holy relationship.

Slowly, over the years a lot of this has been healed and I now I laugh because I have no reason to see our relationship as separate in any way. He is my brother in every sense of the word, and now I see that the relationship was always only for the purpose of healing. Our relative positions, the work situation, all of it was just the backdrop of this healing. It is simply one more link in the chain of Atonement.

Each of my marriages was exactly the same although at the time I was struggling in the relationships I failed to realize this. I saw each of them as my hope of having my needs met. From this myopic standpoint I set about trying to achieve this goal, and failing to do so, moved on to the next possibility.

How different the relationships would have seemed if I had entered them in recognition of their only true purpose, which was to allow the special relationship to be transformed into a holy relationship. How different the outcome if I had known and accepted that we were always meant to be together for this purpose and the relationship had the potential to succeed regardless of how it seemed in the moment.

As I was reading this paragraph, a difficult relationship came into my mind. For the first time, every objection I have to the relationship and the person simply faded away. My heartfelt prayer was for the healing of this relationship. This teaching-learning situation no longer seemed to be about personalities and needs. All those things that had seemed so important just a moment ago no longer matter to me. This opportunity has been given to us that we might bless the world with its healing, and in light of that holy purpose all the petty grievances are seen as the nothing they are. Holy Spirit, thank you for this knowing. I will protect it with my willingness.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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