Together, We Light the Way

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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-10-12

7-10-12
Where there was darkness now we see the light. What is the ego? What the darkness was. Where is the ego? Where the darkness was. What is it now and where can it be found? Nothing and nowhere. Now the light has come: its opposite has gone without a trace. Where evil was there now is holiness. What is the ego? What the evil was. Where is the ego? In an evil dream that but seemed real while you were dreaming it. Where there was crucifixion stands God’s Son. What is the ego? Who has need to ask? Where is the Ego? Who has the need to seek for an illusion now that dreams are gone?

The ego seems so very real that it is hard to imagine life without it. At first I didn’t understand the mechanism that allowed me to experience the impossible. Then, through A Course in Miracles, I learned how it works and that I didn’t want it anymore. I learned to let it go. It seemed to take a very long time because I had to come to that conclusion myself, and I did not entirely want to do that, even when my memory of something else began to awaken. I said to myself that it was too scary, too hard, but what I really meant was “I am not sure I want to.”

The small gentle steps I took as I learned to trust the Voice within helped me choose again. The daily lessons, those clever clever lessons, undid wrong minded thinking and then gave me something else. From there I practiced watching what was going on in my mind so that I could choose what I wanted to believe based on what brought me peace, and what brought me closer to God. The Holy Spirit healed what I truly no longer wanted.

Guilt is the heavy chain that seems to bind me to the world and the ego, but it only imprisons a willing inmate. It is an illusion that binds me, and I can walk out of the chains as if they don’t exist, because they don’t, and discover I am no longer bound, because I never was.

The Holy Spirit told me that there is no such thing as pain and that it is only my belief in pain that creates the sensations of pain that I feel. I made up pain and apply it as desired. How strange. I kept reminding myself that this was the truth. Every time I felt pain I remembered that there is no pain, that it is only a thought in my mind that I feel. I watched pain dissolve as I let the belief be healed. When I pick it up again, I remind myself of the truth again.

Guilt is the same thing. Guilt is just something I made up and decided to use as if it were real. But pain and guilt are part of the ego which does not exist except in my memory. This morning I woke up to a dream in which I was watching myself apologize for some part of my story. I was younger and was talking to my daughter who morphed into my mother. I listened to her sadness and regret and I knew she was wrong about being guilty.

I tried to take her hand to reassure her, but she didn’t want to be interrupted in her guilty story. I woke up knowing that she represents me as the Myron who believed in guilt and wrapped herself in it like it was her protection. She had no intention of giving it up no matter how many lessons she did or how many times Jesus told her she was innocent. How strangely we act when we believe in the ego, and believe we are something we could never be. But in my dream was the watcher, the one who recognizes guilt, but knows only innocence. It is she I have learned to identify with.

No matter how strongly we believe in the impossible, we cannot make it real. It can affect us only if we believe in it. How real can an affect be if the cause is unreal? That is the answer to the illusion. Is my experience real? Is it God? Pain is not God so pain is not real. Fear is not God, so fear is not real. Guilt is not God, so guilt is not real. If it is not real then I can let go of it. I can give that belief to the Holy Spirit, be healed and the experience of the unreal will cease. The only power these things have in my life is my belief that they are real.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-9-12

7-9-12
4 We cannot make a definition for what the ego is, but we can say what it is not. And this is shown to us with perfect clarity. It is from this that we deduce all that the ego is. Look at its opposite and you can see the only answer that is meaningful.
5 The ego’s opposite in every way,-in origin, effect and consequence-we call a miracle. And here we find all that is not the ego in this world. Here is the ego’s opposite and here alone we look on what the ego was, for here we see all that it seemed to do, and cause and its effects must still be one.

While Jesus offers no definition for the ego, he tells us that it is the opposite of a miracle. The miracle is the way to God, and the ego is the way we defend against God. The miracle is the effect of Love and the ego is the effect of separation from Love. The miracle brings certainty, peace, and joy, where the ego brings only darkness, which appear as fear, guilt, anger, shame, jealousy and competition, sickness, suffering and death. The effect of the ego is insanity and the effect of the miracle is a return to sanity.

Each day as I, moment by moment, made my choice, I have seen the effects of those choices in my life. I have watched my life become more peaceful and happier as I more consistently chose God and therefore received the miracle of the healed mind. I protect my choice moment by moment as I continue to choose for God.

I used to think that a judgmental thought made me a judgmental person, and therefore a “bad” person, a person who needed to be fixed. Then I would worry the thought until it became the center of my attention and the proof I was still unworthy to be my Self. By the time I gave it over to the Holy Spirit, I was desperate to be rid of it, and went as humble supplicant in hope of relief. I learned to trust the process, but I held onto the belief that each new dark thought was proof I was still unworthy. That was the ego at work.

Now my attention is briefly caught by a dark thought and I remember that I am not my thoughts. They come to my attention and I realize I am not interested and they leave. I no longer feel guilty that I noticed a judgmental thought, just uninterested, or if I notice an attachment to it, I simply offer it to Holy Spirit and anticipate my healing. No fear. No guilt. No doubt. No confusion about who I am. That is the miracle.

My life is a miracle.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-8-12

7-8-12
3 There is no definition for a lie that serves to make it true. Nor can there be a truth that lies conceal effectively. The ego’s unreality is not denied by words nor is its meaning clear because its nature seems to have a form. Who can define the undefinable? And yet there is an answer even here.

In spite of what Jesus is telling me in this section, that the ego is nothing, my thinking mind longed for a definition. It insisted on naming and defining because that is what the mind does. It is the way it makes separation. It pieces off from the whole, gives it a name, creates illusional boundaries and says, “There. I have created this thing and made it real.” It’s a joke.

The ego remains nothing and cannot be given substance through my insistence that it exist. Giving it form did not make it real. I made bodies and trees, and all manner of form and gave myself seeing instead of vision, and said, “See, it must be real. There it is.” I made a thinking mind that sends thoughts to support the ego and emotions like fear to terrorize and rage to impress me with its might. And still it does not exist.

And with all of this unreal proof, distraction and disguise, the truth remains fixed in my mind waiting patiently for me to tire of the game and take notice. It goes nowhere and is not in any way diminished by my self imposed ignorance.

There, I see You. I thought You were destroyed, and all along, I just had my eyes closed. Ha ha ha.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-7-12

7-7-12
2 What is the ego? Nothingness, but in a form that seems like something. In a world of form the ego cannot be denied for it alone seems real. Yet could God’s Son as He created him abide in form or in a world of form? Who asks you to define the ego and explain how it arose can be but he who thinks it real, and seeks by definition to ensure that its illusive nature is concealed behind the words that seem to make it so.

I am not really here in this world of the ego, entrapped in a body. How could that be true? I am as God created me. I am as God. I cannot be defined by form. I have no boundaries, and certainly I am not bound by skin and bone. And yet, I imagine myself made small and imprisoned, and this was supposedly done by a thought of smallness that I am learning to think of as ego.

Even though the ego is nothing, doesn’t really exist, as long as our mind is dreaming dreams of form we cannot deny the ego. In this world it seems very real, and since this is where we choose to be, we have to deal with the ego as if it is real. I deny the ego because I know it is not real, but if I pretend it has no affect on me, I am in denial about the ego.

When I began to learn about the ego and to understand how it works, I became obsessed with defining it. I wanted to know all about it, how we got to this place, what it means. Why would we ever leave Heaven if it were all that great? I wanted to learn to master the ego, to destroy the ego. And all of that was the ego response to the news that the ego exists. Even the desire to rid myself of the ego proclaimed its reality and its power to be a threat.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-6-12

7-6-12
2. THE EGO - THE MIRACLE
1 Illusions will not last. Their death is sure and this alone is certain in their world. It is the ego’s world because of this. What is the ego? But a dream of what you really are. A thought you are apart from your Creator and a wish to be what He created not. It is a thing of madness, not reality at all. A name for namelessness is all it is. A symbol of impossibility; a choice for options that do not exist. We name it but to help us understand that it is nothing but an ancient thought that what is made has immortality. But what could come of this except a dream which, like all dreams, can only end in death?

Sometimes I think I will never wake up. I notice that my mind is a jumble of wrong minded thoughts. I notice that I am reacting to something said to me. I notice that I am afraid, I feel guilty, I am ashamed, I am sad. And I think that I will never be anything else except these thoughts and feelings that are so unlike God.

Lately when I have these fears the Holy Spirit has reminded me that I am not the one who feels this way. The body/personality that is Myron and that I so often identify with, is an illusion and part of the illusion of the world I see around me. Illusions will not last. I was created by God as an extension of God and so am like God. I cannot die, or end in any way. I am eternal, therefore I cannot be this body. I cannot be this shifting and changing personality.

Therefore, when I feel lost and think I will never wake up, who is having this thought? Who is fearful? It cannot be me, so I have nothing to fear. I was reading a quote from Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani. It ended with this sentence which I changed to first person to make it more meaningful to me:

  I am already enlightened. I just have to realize it to allow it into my experience.

I, the true I, is already enlightened. In the present ego story of separation that I am engaged in, Myron is trying to remember the truth while living in an illusional environment. Its not easy, you know. If she were a real person and this were actually happening, I would feel bad for her. But she is just an imaginary person living out impossible dreams, but through her dream story she is helping me realize I am already enlightened.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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