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Study of the Text 5-31-13

5-31-13
4 Eating of the fruit of the tree of knowledge is a symbolic expression for usurping the ability for self-creating. This is the only sense in which God and His creations are not co-creators. The belief that they are is implicit in the “self-concept,” or the tendency of the self to make an image of itself. Images are perceived, not known. Knowledge cannot deceive, but perception can. You can perceive yourself as self-creating, but you cannot do more than believe it. You cannot make it true. And, as I said before, when you finally perceive correctly you can only be glad that you cannot. Until then, however, the belief that you can is the foundation stone in your thought system, and all your defenses are used to attack ideas that might bring it to light. You still believe you are an image of your own making. Your mind is split with the Holy Spirit on this point, and there is no resolution while you believe the one thing that is literally inconceivable. That is why you cannot create and are filled with fear about what you make.

I am trying to create myself. That is a fact. I see myself as a body, and no matter what I say about it, that is if I say I am a body, in a body, or pretending to be a body, I believe I am an image of my own making. Of course I do! I am certainly not an image of God’s making, so it must be my making. It will not help me to return to my true Self if I deny what I have done.

From within this image, I continue to tweak my self concept, as I try to control the body image, keep it healthy, clothe and decorate it in an effort to express my “self” and thus become something of my own making. I “make something of myself.” I “become the best I can be.” I take self improvement courses.

I will never be through making myself, never be satisfied with the results, because I know (I deny, but I know) that I have a true Self that cannot be altered, and so all my effort does nothing. I know that this made up self, no matter how refined, is not me, doesn’t even come close to my true self. All of these things I do are defenses against the truth, efforts to hold at bay the reality that I am trying to improve on something that does not exist and never has.

While I continue to play in the world of make-believe I rob myself of true creation. I also scare myself. I live in uncertainty and doubt about nearly everything. Should I take this medicine or that supplement? Would it be good for me or hurt me? Studies vary. And that is just one area of uncertainty. There is nothing certain in our world and we live with the constant, though seldom acknowledged anxiety of not knowing.

The separation story will never get better. We will discover the cure for one disease and another will pop up. We will find the perfect diet and exercise program combined with the most effective meditation practice and death will claim this body, anyway. We will form a self-governing system and change the world and it will ultimately fall apart.

Nothing will work because the idea of separation cannot work. Its destruction is built into the concept itself. It will never make us happy because it is the opposite of our natural joy and peace. It will always leave us fearful and guilty because these are components of separation and unavoidable.

Our experiment in self-creating has had a good run, but surely it is time to set it aside. Of course it is. That is why we are here, studying A Course in Miracles, together. It is why I spend every day watching my thoughts, asking for guidance and healing. I am ready to retire as my own teacher, as my own guide, and absolutely as my own creator. All these things I do are symbolic of my growing desire to awaken from the dream of separation. I long for something I can’t quite remember.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-30-13

5-30-13
3 We have discussed the fall or separation before, but its meaning must be clearly understood. The separation is a system of thought real enough in time, though not in eternity. All beliefs are real to the believer. The fruit of only one tree was “forbidden” in the symbolic garden. But God could not have forbidden it, or it could not have been eaten. If God knows His children, and I assure you that He does, would He have put them in a position where their own destruction was possible? The “forbidden tree” was named the “tree of knowledge.” Yet God created knowledge and gave it freely to His creations. The symbolism here has been given many interpretations, but you may be sure that any interpretation that sees either God or His creations as capable of destroying Their Own purpose is in error.

I am happy to read this. Right now I have no trouble accepting that the generally accepted religious interpretation of the fall of man is a mistake, but when I first read it, I was so relieved I cried. Believing that God tempted us to sin and then punished us for our failure was a very frightening thought. It generated in my mind many false beliefs about the nature of God.

I also resented that it set up the idea that women were in some basic way, evil, and the cause of man’s fall from grace. I think that this idea seemed entirely too convenient for men in general and that alone caused me to doubt the Bible as the true source of God’s Word. At the very least, I doubted the interpretation, which was given by men. Did God create women for the sole purpose of giving men an excuse for bad behavior? I questioned that this was likely.

On the other hand, everybody seemed to accept this interpretation and it is one I was taught from a very young age so I was afraid it was true. God was manipulative and vengeful, and he had little regard for women. What a chilling vision of my Creator that was! Of course it is only the projection of our fear that we sinned when we had the thought of separation, but before I had the Course, I didn’t know about projection. At that time in my life, I took the allegory literally and very personally.

The other thing in this paragraph that stands out to me is the sentence that explains what the separation really is. It is just a thought system. It is a belief in our mind and that is all it is. It isn’t a true thought so it has no true effects, and that is a relief. A thought can be changed and if the effects are not real, then the seeming effects will disappear with the change of mind.

Even though the separation idea is not real, it seems to be real, and to those of us who are under its sway, it is real. So while I still believe in the separation thought, I still suffer its effects as if they were real, too. I want to change the mind about separation, not because it is a sin or because I have really done anything. I want to change my mind about separation because my belief in it is painful. I want to heal. I want to be at peace. I want to return the whole mind to God. I want to remember who I am.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-29-13

5-29-13
2 You cannot resolve the authority problem by depreciating the power of your mind. To do so is to deceive yourself, and this will hurt you because you really understand the strength of the mind. You also realize that you cannot weaken it, any more than you can weaken God. The “devil” is a frightening concept because he seems to be extremely powerful and extremely active. He is perceived as a force in combat with God, battling Him for possession of His creations. The devil deceives by lies, and builds kingdoms in which everything is in direct opposition to God. Yet he attracts men rather than repels them, and they are willing to “sell” him their souls in return for gifts of no real worth. This makes absolutely no sense.

Rather than acting as if my mind is weak, I am learning to use the power of my mind to undo what I have done. I watch for thoughts that indicate I am still trying to depreciate that power. For instance, recently I gained five pounds. Usually when this happens, I just go on a diet and lose it. No big deal. But this time I realized that I was tired of the merry go round and that I wanted off once and for all. Since I know that my body is in my mind, the solution is also in my mind, and I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of my false beliefs about food and body image.

As I have been doing this, I realize that I have many deep-rooted ideas about food and the body and this is harder than I would ever have believed possible. I also noticed that I tend to get discouraged and I feel like I can’t do this. I notice that when this happens I feel fear and when I asked the Holy Spirit about the source of the fear, I realized it was fear that the truth is not true, and I really am only this fragile and weak body.

My ego looks on those five pounds and my failure to see it differently as a symbol of all my separation thinking and sees it as proof positive that I am in competition with God and am winning, though it is a pitiful prize indeed.  This increases the fear and the desire to hide. My first reaction is to push these thoughts away with an admonition to myself that this can’t be true and I shouldn’t be thinking it.

Of course, thinking I am wrong for the beliefs in my mind just piles on more guilt and more fear of failure. But while this visceral reaction to guilt and fear, this desire to run from my thoughts, is still there I don’t listen to it any more. What I do now is to ask the Holy Spirit to heal this belief, too.

As I accept the Holy Spirit’s healing I notice that the conflict eases and I become more comfortable with the process. I feel patient and I feel certain that the ego beliefs about food and the body will be healed. They must be because they are not true and the mind that was powerful enough to create this illusion is powerful enough to let it go.

The devil Jesus speaks of sounds suspiciously like the ego. The difference between the devil I learned of from religion and the ego I learned of from Jesus, is that the devil was something outside me. It was the place I projected my more aggressive thoughts of being in competition with God. It was not my fault, “The devil made me do it.” The devil was a way to hide from the really scary thought that I was fighting God for my authorship.

The ego is the “devil” in my mind. It is the desire to be something I am not, to experience something God did not create. It still scares me that I turned from God to the ego, but the fear is of my own doing. God is not the cause of my fear; my thoughts about God are what scare me. I sold my soul to the ego, and the ego remade me in its own image, then remade God in its image as well. The ego mind gave me an illusion of a weak and powerless victim against an angry and vengeful God. How did I imagine this was a bargain I wanted?

I have a sense of being separate and all I had to give up was peace, love, joy, freedom and complete safety. And, oh yeah, the love of God, because I cannot see myself as loved by God if I think I am at war with Him. It is all a lie, an incredible deceit, and no one is responsible except my self. I willingly and happily admit I have done this and I ask that it be undone.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-28-13

5-28-13
VII. Creating versus the Self-Image
1 Every system of thought must have a starting point. It begins with either a making or a creating, a difference we have already discussed. Their resemblance lies in their power as foundations. Their difference lies in what rests upon them. Both are cornerstones for systems of belief by which one lives. It is a mistake to believe that a thought system based on lies is weak. Nothing made by a child of God is without power. It is essential to realize this, because otherwise you will be unable to escape from the prison you have made.

We have two thought systems in our mind. The foundation for them both is the same; it is the power of God. This power is ours because it is God’s and as His children we inherited His power. From this power we create or we make depending on the thought system we are using. If we use the ego or separation thought system, everything that appears we made rather than created, but because of the power of our mind, what we made is very realistic indeed.

From the separation thought system nothing done is real or affects reality, but from within that thought system, it appears real and has effects. Our mind, however we might choose to use it, is very powerful, because our mind was created by God to be powerful. (Note: In my writing I refer to our mind, and I also refer to the ego thinking mind. My definition of the ego thinking mind is that part of the mind that is engaged in the separation story. It is the part of the mind that is filled with constant chatter and keeps us engrossed in the story so that we won’t notice the truth, which is also in our mind.)

Jesus wants us to be aware of the power of the mind and not to marginalize it just because we used it to make something that is not real. It is not real but it appears real, and our belief in it makes it real to us, so the affects seem real to us. And that is a fact, and one I probably don’t have to convince anyone of. If you have ever been in severe physical pain, you know how real the world feels. If you have ever lost someone you love very much, you know how real the world feels. Our mind is an awesome power.

It is because of this power of belief that we have a hard time accepting the truth instead of the illusion, even as we are ready to do so, as certainly we are. Everyone will be ready to do so at some point, but this is our time. That is why we picked up the Course and why we didn’t put it down. The ego says we made a decision to keep reading it, but we kept reading it because this is our time to wake up. And even so, it feels very hard to let go of parts of the illusion. This is because of the power of our belief.

What I believe in is true for me. Since an idea is true, how do I stop believing it? A belief we all share is that the sky is blue. How do we stop believing the sky is blue? We look at the sky and it seems blue. We ask around and yes, everyone else sees the same blue sky. We try to stop believing in blue skies, but we just can’t.

This is the same problem we have when Jesus tells us that pain is not real, or that guilt is not real. We may want to believe this, and we may think that we should believe it because we trust the integrity of the source, but still we wake up with a headache, or we burn our hand and it hurts. We think about something we did which seemed to have caused harm and we feel guilty. We watch someone do something wrong and we judge him as guilty.

This is why we have the Holy Spirit in our mind. The Holy Spirit will correct our thinking for us. Think of the mind that believes the impossible, that pain and guilt and fear are real, as a sick mind, and the Holy Spirit as the Healer of the mind. This is Its function and the reason It was placed in our mind.

The only thing needed to receive this essential help in returning our minds to Reality, is to desire it. The Holy Spirit would never, and could never, override the choice we make. But once we begin to desire the truth more than we desire our illusion, He heals our mind of our mistaken beliefs and the truth becomes clear to us.

The Holy Spirit is our fail-safe, the assurance we will not be forever lost in our own dreams. Reading, studying, and practicing A Course in Miracles helps us to see that we want to make a new decision, and the Holy Spirit makes it possible for us to do so. What I have learned from doing the Course is that I can watch my mind for thoughts which indicate I am believing something that is not true. I can see the effect of these beliefs in my life and realize that I don’t want to believe them anymore. Then I can ask the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking, and heal my mind.

As my beliefs change, the effects change and the world I seem to live in, the life I seem to be living, is one of the effects that change. Peace, love and joy are powerful motivators and I become for eager for the Holy Spirit’s help and come with less reluctance to Him for healing. This is how I do my part to wake us up from our dream of separation. This is the answer to the conundrum of overriding a belief. This is the solution to undoing the ego.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-27-13

5-27-13
11 There is no one who does not feel that he is imprisoned in some way. If this is the result of his own free will he must regard his will as not free, or the circular reasoning in this position would be quite apparent. Free will must lead to freedom. Judgment always imprisons because it separates segments of reality by the unstable scales of desire. Wishes are not facts. To wish is to imply that willing is not sufficient. Yet no one in his right mind believes that what is wished is as real as what is willed. Instead of “Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven” say, “Will ye first the Kingdom of Heaven,” and you have said, “I know what I am and I accept my own inheritance.”

I was thinking about how this all comes together. How do I imprison myself through judging, wishing, and desiring? Here is the thought that came to me. My sister in law just had surgery and there are complications. I have been worried, which is judgment. I judge the situation as bad, with the potential to be worse.

My judgment scares me and I tend to project blame. The doctors should have seen the problem sooner. My sister in law should have acted sooner. I should have done something differently. I have imprisoned myself with my judgment. I am afraid and guilt is driving my emotions. I am not at peace, and I am not helpful in this situation. I feel trapped in my ego mind.

I wish (desire) she would get better. This wish implies that I am afraid she will not get better. Wish is such a tentative term. It holds no conviction. When I hear myself say I wish I could do better, I know I really mean, “I don’t believe I can do better.” Or, “I think I should do better but I don’t believe I will, and if I do, it is pretty much by accident.” A wish imprisons me within the very thing I hope to escape. It holds me captive through its irresolution.

Which way lies my freedom? I gladly put away my judgment, for starters. I give it to the Holy Spirit, Who knows what to do with it. I have no basis on which to judge. I don’t know what anything is for, what anything means. As I surrender my desire to judge, my mind clears and I know this one thing; we are all innocent. No. I know two things. We are all innocent and the Son of God is not victim to the world.

I give my wishes to the Holy Spirit and accept a miracle in their place. I will for truth to assert itself it my mind. I give up the wish for healing, instead willing first the Kingdom of Heaven, knowing that within the Kingdom there is only health. I rejoice this morning that I have slipped the bonds of imprisonment as I turned from the ego mind and placed my faith in my Self. I know what I am and I accept my own inheritance.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-24-13

5-24-13
10 Peace is a natural heritage of spirit. Everyone is free to refuse to accept his inheritance, but he is not free to establish what his inheritance is. The problem everyone must decide is the fundamental question of authorship. All fear comes ultimately, and sometimes by way of very devious routes, from the denial of Authorship. The offense is never to God, but only to those who deny Him. To deny His Authorship is to deny yourself the reason for your peace, so that you see yourself only in segments. This strange perception is the authority problem.

This is good news, indeed! What I understand from reading this paragraph is that I am free to deny the truth of who I am. I can pretend that I am not the free and perfect Son of God. I can do this all day long for as long as I can stand the pain. It is not a sin and God is not offended. It changes nothing and so no harm is done. Who I am is unassailable. I can deny my Self, but I cannot change my Self.

All fear and guilt are derived from the misunderstanding that I am free to change what God has done. He created me but I think that because I am having an imaginary experience of being something else that I have authored myself. I think I have undone what God has done and that I have re-created my self. Now I am my own creator.

It’s easy to see why I believe that. I am so immersed in this story of separation that I believe it is true. I think I am Myron and that I really am this fragile body living this uncertain existence, doomed to die and who knows what happens after that, if anything. And yet, I have an ancient memory that persists. It is the source of all the God stories that just won’t die, and it is the source of the persistent hope for something better.

What keeps the complete truth from my mind is the fear that although I was once beloved of God my sins have made me unworthy. Since I seemed to be this person, and this proves I succeeded in becoming my own creator, then my assault on God must be real as well. My guilt and fear of what I have done keep me trapped in my story, the prodigal son afraid to return home.

But none of that is true. I cannot create myself. I cannot undo what God has done. I cannot offend God. God is not judgmental or vengeful. Those are projections from the separated mind. Those are ego beliefs that I have put on God. When I “re-created” myself, I also “re-created” God in my image, making Him the fallible being I see myself to be. Thank you, God, that neither thing can be true! God remains God, pure unadulterated Love, and I remain His sinless Son.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 5-23-13

5-23-13
9 Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible. You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it. Fortunately, to lose something does not mean that it has gone. It merely means that you do not remember where it is. Its existence does not depend on your ability to identify it, or even to place it. It is possible to look on reality without judgment and merely know that it is there.

What a neat paragraph this is!

Only those who give over all desire to reject can know that their own rejection is impossible.

No wonder I still feel rejectable! I have the belief in rejection in my mind, so I project stories of rejection. I see someone I disapprove of and I have rejected that person. I see an action I judge as wrong and I have rejected it. Each time I reject, I strengthen the belief that rejection is real and important. I increase the value I place on my right to reject. Spend today noticing the obvious and subtle ways you reject today and you will see what I mean.

Because all our weapons of attack are double edged, it will slice both ways and I will project stories that prove I, too, am rejected. Because I have taught myself to believe in rejection, I will believe the stories that seem to prove I have been rejected, even when the proof is flimsy. Understanding this, I am going to be very alert for my tendency to judge and reject. This is not a belief I want to strengthen in my mind.

I am grateful to remember that it is not my job to eradicate the belief in rejection, or even to control my urge to reject. It is only my job to notice when I am rejecting and to realize this is a belief that has no truth to it. God is not rejection so rejection cannot exist. I made it up as part of the whole separation experiment. I am ready to choose again and I do so by asking the Holy Spirit to undo what I have done. When I have been healed of this false belief, there will be no more rejection in my mind to project onto the story of Myron. Won’t that be a nifty turn of events!

You have not usurped the power of God, but you have lost it.

The second thing I love about this paragraph is that I am reminded that I have not actually done anything to feel guilty about. I have not really usurped the power of God. It is patently absurd to believe I ever could have done this, but in believing I had done so, I scared the bejeesus out of myself.

I am so awash in guilt and shame that I cannot even think straight anymore. This guilt is so intense that it cannot be borne and so is denied, but along with the guilt the reason for the guilt is denied as well. I can’t find most of this unconscious guilt because I buried it so deeply in my mind that it is lost to me. But as I have lost conscious awareness of the guilt, I have also lost conscious awareness of the power of God.

The good news is twofold. First, guilt does not exist. It is part of the separation idea. We made up guilt and we can allow it to be undone for us. We don’t need to get in touch with that deep well of unconscious guilt in order to do that. As long as we continue to forgive as much of the guilt as we can, the rest will be done for us.

The second piece of good news is that while we can “lose” our awareness of the power of God, it does not actually go anywhere. I will find it when I want it. I will want it when I am no longer afraid of it. I will no longer be afraid of it when I forgive the idea of guilt. It is simple to forgive guilt. However, the ego mind absolutely believes in guilt. It is made of guilt and will not give up the idea easily. But it is still simple to do it.

I notice guilt in the mind, all guilt, regardless of the direction it points, toward another or toward my self. I realize that guilt is not in God and so it cannot be in me. I agree to be healed of this belief and I accept that healing. Notice a pattern here? ~smile~ When you get serious about this forgiveness work with guilt, don’t be surprised if the ego part of your mind fights you on this. It will try to prove guilt with its stories. Don’t believe them. They are pure fiction.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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