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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VIII.The Unbelievable Belief, Paragraph 3. 5-20-14

VIII. The Unbelievable Belief, Paragraph 3

3 There are two major errors involved in this attempt. First, strictly speaking, conflict cannot be projected because it cannot be shared. Any attempt to keep part of it and get rid of another part does not really mean anything. Remember that a conflicted teacher is a poor teacher and a poor learner. His lessons are confused, and their transfer value is limited by his confusion. The second error is the idea that you can get rid of something you do not want by giving it away. Giving it is how you keep it. The belief that by seeing it outside you have excluded it from within is a complete distortion of the power of extension. That is why those who project are vigilant for their own safety. They are afraid that their projections will return and hurt them. Believing they have blotted their projections from their own minds, they also believe their projections are trying to creep back in. Since the projections have not left their minds, they are forced to engage in constant activity in order not to recognize this.

Continuing from yesterday’s idea that I can get rid of something I don’t want by projecting it onto someone else, today Jesus explains the two major errors involved in this attempt. First he says that we can’t really share conflict so it can’t be projected. Not literally. And this sounds confusing to me because the Course talks about projecting all the time. But I think what he is saying to me is that I can only try to project, but actually nothing is happening.

I try to get rid of what I don’t want by seeing it in someone else instead. I try to give it to them, but I don’t really give it away. I can’t really give it to them, I can only see it as if it were in them. And that brings us to the second error, which is that in projecting it away from us we are left in a constant state of anxiety because we are afraid the projection is trying to creep back in.

What is actually happening is that there is a level at which we know what is going on. We know that we accomplished nothing in our effort to project. We know that what we wanted to be rid of is still in our mind and we combat this awareness by keeping ourselves very busy and distracted. Our minds are in a state of constant activity, and we reflect this in our lives as well. 

Everyone I talk to who has begun spiritual work has had the experience of feeling like things got a lot worse before they got better. The ego does not want to admit that what it tried to get rid of is really still there in the mind, so it redoubles its efforts to distract through sickness, disasters, and all sorts of fearful situations. It also uses new jobs, falling in love, winning the lottery and all sorts of exciting pleasantries to distract. It doesn’t matter the nature of distraction as long as it keeps us from looking within.

I think the most important sentence for me is the one that says that giving is how I keep something. So if I think that I can be rid of a bad feeling by making it someone else’s fault, I have just reinforced it in my own mind. Today, I will remember to give only what I want to keep.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VIII.The Unbelievable Belief, Paragraph 2. 5-19-14

VIII. The Unbelievable Belief, Paragraph 2

2 The ego’s use of projection must be fully understood before the inevitable association between projection and anger can be finally undone. The ego always tries to preserve conflict. It is very ingenious in devising ways that seem to diminish conflict, because it does not want you to find conflict so intolerable that you will insist on giving it up. The ego therefore tries to persuade you that it can free you of conflict, lest you give the ego up and free yourself. Using its own warped version of the laws of God, the ego utilizes the power of the mind only to defeat the mind’s real purpose. It projects conflict from your mind to other minds, in an attempt to persuade you that you have gotten rid of the problem.

We can accept a lot of conflict, but there is a limit to how much conflict we are willing to endure. The ego’s plan to limit conflict, at least to reduce it to a level we are willing to tolerate, is to project the conflict from our mind to other minds. If you have been studying the Course for very long, you probably understand the idea of projection, though if you are like me, you may have been unwilling to acknowledge the frequency of this strategy in your own life.

I have been very vigilant for projection in my own mind for several years now, but I still catch myself doing it. I noticed recently that I was projecting my anxiety at work onto a co-worker. I noticed just a while back that I did this with family members. But it also occurs in little ways that I barely notice. I went to the road to get my trash can and noticed the garbage man had accidentally thrown away the lid along with the garbage. I felt angry with them knowing I would have one more thing to take care of Monday morning.

Why did I feel angry? I doubt that they tore off the lid and threw it into their truck on purpose. I am aware that I am never angry for the reason I think so I tried to do a little detective work on this. I felt angry. I felt angry at the garbage men because their carelessness was causing me to use my time to fix this problem. I don’t have enough time. I see the belief in lack is still in my mind. I am sick of that problem and sick of giving it to Spirit for healing only to take it back. It is the garbage man’s fault that I feel like this.  The proof is clear; he was careless and now I am inconvenienced. Nice little mental trick.

What I noticed as I did this is that the closer I got to the real problem, the more intense the anger. It seemed like a minor annoyance, a bit of inconvenience, but there was intense rage behind the veil I drew over the situation. In asking the Holy Spirit to help me understand this better, I became aware of guilt. I want the garbage man to be guilty because I am damn sick of being the guilty one all the time. Thinking about it makes me grind my teeth and fight back tears. There is fear in there as well as guilt.

Well, there. That was a surprise. Who would have thought that such a minor incident could have been hiding all of that.

I love how Jesus inserts this really important sentence in the middle of the paragraph. He says this:

“The ego therefore tries to persuade you that it can free you of conflict, lest you give the ego up and free yourself.”

Lest I give up the ego and free myself. He says that so casually as if it was the easiest solution ever and I could just decide to give up the ego. I could just decide to free myself. I can stop fooling around with the ego half measures that are no longer working for me anyway, just go right to the heart of the matter, kick the ego out, and free myself. It sounds crazy. After all, I have been trying to do this for a long time. How could it be that easy? I don’t know, but would Jesus say it if he didn’t mean it? He said he would never ask me to do anything I could not do.

I am now very aware of when I project. I understand why I do it. After this mornings little exercise, I understand somewhat the depth of the anger, fear and guilt that is involved. I have even practiced withdrawing my projections and accepting full responsibility, and it didn’t destroy me. I know I want to be free, and Jesus says I can be, and apparently it is not all that hard. I just quit wasting time following ego strategies, give up the ego altogether and free myself.

I accept that, Jesus.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VIII.The Unbelievable Belief, Paragraph 1. 5-16-14

VIII. The Unbelievable Belief, Paragraph 1
1 We have said that without projection there can be no anger, but it is also true that without extension there can be no love. These reflect a fundamental law of the mind, and therefore one that always operates. It is the law by which you create and were created. It is the law that unifies the Kingdom, and keeps it in the Mind of God. To the ego, the law is perceived as a means of getting rid of something it does not want. To the Holy Spirit, it is the fundamental law of sharing, by which you give what you value in order to keep it in your mind. To the Holy Spirit it is the law of extension. To the ego it is the law of deprivation. It therefore produces abundance or scarcity, depending on how you choose to apply it. This choice is up to you, but it is not up to you to decide whether or not you will utilize the law. Every mind must project or extend, because that is how it lives, and every mind is life.

I am always projecting separation thoughts or I am extending love. I must do one or the other in every moment. It is a law and it is not possible to ignore it. My choice is how to use the law. I have had some physical challenges lately and I notice the thinking mind wants to project. It is constantly trying to find the cause of the problem. It wants place blame on something in the environment or someone who “gave” it to me, or something I ate.

The ego doesn’t particularly care where I project, as long as I project. The ego insists that I make someone or something else guilty so that I don’t appear guilty. To the ego mind this is salvation. What really happens, though, is that when I project I make the idea of sickness real in my mind, and I reinforce the belief in guilt. I scare myself as I make the world a dangerous place that threatens my very life with all kinds of sickness.

On my phone I have a local news app and one of the daily announcements is called, “What’s going around.” Just in case people are not nervous enough about catching something, it lets you know what you are probably going to catch. It warns everyone not to get too close to others because they might make you sick. This is perfect ego projection, always promoting fear and separation, always encouraging the belief in weakness and vulnerability.

I keep reminding myself that I don’t care where my sickness seems to have originated because that is just an illusion anyway. In truth, sickness of the body comes from sickness of the mind. All sickness is a defense against God and a choice I make. The only way to heal the body is to heal the mind that chose the sickness. It is in this way that I withdraw my projections and accept responsibility for the problem.

As I accept responsibility, I make a new choice. Instead of projecting blame, I ask for healing. A healed mind then extends love, which is all that is left to give once the mind is healed. When the mind is healed of the belief in separation, there is no fear or guilt and no reason or desire to project. Without the ego belief in separation there is only love and love flows unimpeded through us and to our brothers, because this is the nature of love. It extends itself.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 11. 5-15-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 11

11 Perceive any part of the ego’s thought system as wholly insane, wholly delusional and wholly undesirable, and you have correctly evaluated all of it. This correction enables you to perceive any part of creation as wholly real, wholly perfect and wholly desirable. Wanting this only you will have this only, and giving this only you will be only this. The gifts you offer to the ego are always experienced as sacrifices, but the gifts you offer to the Kingdom are gifts to you. They will always be treasured by God because they belong to His beloved Sons, who belong to Him. All power and glory are yours because the Kingdom is His.

I accept that the ego thought system is wholly insane, delusional and undesirable. And I don’t. I (my ego self) keeps slipping back into insanity and this can only happen if I see some value in it. No matter how many times I do this, I am going to choose again until I want only the Kingdom. Actually, I have come a long way and hardly ever slip all the way back into it. I have moments when I think someone is guilty and then I see what is happening and remind myself of the only truth there is: we are innocent.

This remembering of innocence is the gift I give to God, and what I give to the Kingdom I give to myself. Yesterday toward the end of the day, I found myself on that slippery slope again. I don’t even know what it was that attracted me to the ego. Here is what it feels like to me. I see a thought that attracts my attention and I decide to follow it. I get lost in the thought and all the thoughts that are triggered by that one.

It is like being in a dense jungle or a thick fog. I know I’m lost but I can’t remember how to get out of it. Which means I can’t remember the truth, or the words that will lead me to the truth. Then doubt and uncertainty confuse me further. Paying attention to the ego thought and believing the thought are my gifts to ego, and in return, ego gives me grief. It gives me doubt and fear and guilt.

I’ve been doing this work too long to stay in ego long, and when I come up for air, I remember the truth, and like happened today, I can’t even remember what was so important to me yesterday.

The ego wants me to disbelieve all this metaphysical stuff and wants me to disbelieve that Jesus gave us these words and that Holy Spirit is in our mind just waiting for our permission to wake us up. It takes every opportunity to reinforce the separation thought, and to discourage true thoughts. It is up to me to pay attention and make a better choice when needed.

So, I can believe what Jesus is telling me in A Course in Miracles, be vigilant for my ego thoughts and willing to let them be corrected and in return I get peace and joy. Or I can listen to ego and believe that I am alone and guilty and suffer life after life. Hmm. I wonder which choice I should make.

I think that the main way ego holds my attention for more than brief moments at a time is through its gift of guilt. I spend too much time in judgment and then I feel guilty and start to be afraid I will never wake up. So the way to short circuit this ego plan is to remind myself, immediately, that I cannot be guilty. I see what the ego does, but I am not the ego. I was created innocent, I am innocent, I will always be innocent. Remembering this is my gift to God and He treasures my gifts because He treasures me.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 10.5-14-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 10
10 You are the Will of God. Do not accept anything else as your will, or you are denying what you are. Deny this and you will attack, believing you have been attacked. But see the Love of God in you, and you will see it everywhere because it is everywhere. See His abundance in everyone, and you will know that you are in Him with them. They are part of you, as you are part of God. You are as lonely without understanding this as God Himself is lonely when His Sons do not know Him. The peace of God is understanding this. There is only one way out of the world’s thinking, just as there was only one way into it. Understand totally by understanding totality.

The sentence which means the most to me is the last one. “Understand totally by understanding totality.” I will know peace and love and joy when I accept that I am not alone and separate. I am part of a whole. My brother is myself. I am part of God and part of all there is and the same is true for everyone else.

This is the simple truth that I have been able to avoid so far. I became angry with my co-worker because he seemed a threat to me. How could this be? He is my counter-part. He is a different version of me. He is me playing the part of a young man with a particular personality. But in reality, in truth, he is me and we are God.

How could I be in conflict with him without being in conflict with myself and with God since we are all part of the same Wholeness. If I think I am at war with my brother and we are both part of God, then I must, in part of my mind, believe I am at war with God. No wonder I am not at peace. I am never upset for the reason and this is why. I tell myself that my brother attacks me, but in my confusion I must think that this means I am attacked by myself and by God.

How could I be attacked or harmed in any way? I am part of God, in God and safe from harm and since I am part of all that is, what is there to harm me? If I feel threatened, I must be dreaming. The threat can only be an illusion. Can the Son of God be threatened by an illusion? There is a way out of this confused and insane thinking.

A Course in Miracles offers me the path out and the way Home. I accept that I am God’s Son, part of Him always. Nothing else is possible and nothing else is my desire. I know that I am part of all that is. I know that my brother is part of the same Wholeness. We are One. We are innocent. There are no exceptions to this.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 9. 5-13-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 9

9 Being the part of your mind that does not believe it is responsible for itself, and being without allegiance to God, the ego is incapable of trust. Projecting its insane belief that you have been treacherous to your Creator, it believes that your brothers, who are as incapable of this as you are, are out to take God from you. Whenever a brother attacks another, that is what he believes. Projection always sees your wishes in others. If you choose to separate yourself from God, that is what you will think others are doing to you.

The ego does not think it is responsible for itself so it is always looking for someone to blame. I am vigilant for blame thoughts knowing that this is ego. When I notice them I ask that my mind be healed of the idea that someone else is responsible for my life. This is the way the ego is undone. I choose against it.

The ego has no allegiance to God and so is incapable of trust. I notice when I feel uncertain and doubtful, and I know I must be giving the ego my allegiance. I make a different choice, the only one that makes sense. I choose to place my allegiance in God and to trust Him. This is another way that I undo the ego.

The ego is the idea that I have been treacherous to God. This is insane, but believing it has effects that keep me embroiled in guilt and fear. I cannot be treacherous to God because that would imply God could be hurt, and that God could be offended. God does not have an ego to be offended and God cannot be hurt or diminished by my choices. When I feel guilt or fear I know I am identifying with ego and I choose again. This is the way to undo the ego.

When I am identified with ego, I do believe in treachery and so I believe my brothers are as capable of treachery as I am. This makes them seem dangerous to me. Because I project blame on them, I suspect they are doing the same thing to me. It is like they are pointing their finger at me and saying, “Look, God, I am innocent. She is the guilty one.” This is how I see them as taking God from me.

The ego says I must defend myself by finding more fault in them than they find in me. But the solution is to notice what is happening when I project onto others and let the belief in guilt be undone in my own mind. When I do that, I will see the belief in guilt being expressed by my brother and instead of feeling threatened I will simply see a call for love and ask that this belief be healed in our mind. This is the way the ego is undone in our mind.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text, Chapter 7: VII.The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 8. 5-12-14

VII. The Totality of the Kingdom, Paragraph 8

8 Attack could never promote attack unless you perceived it as a means of depriving you of something you want. Yet you cannot lose anything unless you do not value it, and therefore do not want it. This makes you feel deprived of it, and by projecting your own rejection you then believe that others are taking it from you. You must be fearful if you believe that your brother is attacking you to tear the Kingdom of Heaven from you. This is the ultimate basis for all the ego’s projection.

I want to follow this logic with something that is happening right now. Seeing something in a concrete way helps me to understand the general principle, which of course, is the only value the world has for me. It shows me what my beliefs look like so I can decide if I want to believe them anymore. In time this is the way the mind works, even though our minds are actually abstract as is God.

Looking at the situation with the co-worker I spoke of last week, he seemed to be attacking me when he failed to do the work correctly and resisted any direction from me. The attack took the form of threatening my income and this brought up fear in me. I would not have phrased it like this, but I guess that I have been seeing my income as my salvation.

If Heaven is my goal and I think that my income is my salvation then I am confused about what I need to be safe, and am confusing financial stability with Heaven. So when this man threatened my finances he seemed to be taking Heaven from me. This would certainly explain why I felt justified in defending myself through attacking him in return.

Once I understood the reasoning behind the belief I was being attacked and the reason I wanted to defend myself, I could understand his motivations, too. I think he must see being right as his salvation, and so of course he would resent my “help” when offered. It must look to him like I am snatching away what matters deeply to him, that I am robbing him of his happiness by telling him he is wrong and needs my help.

I am very grateful that I had A Course in Miracles to help me recognize my error and the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. Friday when I got to work I was very calm about the whole thing. I had allowed my mind to be healed of the idea that he was my enemy so when my supervisor expressed her frustration about the situation I was able to step back from it.

I noticed the ego wanting to join her anger, but I, by this time I knew he was not my enemy. Today I further realize from reading this paragraph that no matter what this man does he cannot deprive me of anything unless I decide I don’t want it. This means I cannot lose my money, or my job, because of anything except my own decision. And nothing can tear God from me, certainly not my brother.

Since I was calm and settled about the whole thing by the time I got to work, I didn’t say anything to him about it, but he came to me and explained his error and took full responsibility for it. He also told me he researched the information to understand where he went wrong. I loved that I didn’t have even the slightest desire to be sure he knew I told him so. ~smile~

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