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Study of Text, Chapter 11, VI.Waking to Redemption, P 1. 10-29-15

VI. Waking to Redemption P 1

1 It is impossible not to believe what you see, but it is equally impossible to see what you do not believe. Perceptions are built up on the basis of experience, and experience leads to beliefs. It is not until beliefs are fixed that perceptions stabilize. In effect, then, what you believe you do see. That is what I meant when I said, “Blessed are ye who have not seen and still believe,” for those who believe in the resurrection will see it. The resurrection is the complete triumph of Christ over the ego, not by attack but by transcendence. For Christ does rise above the ego and all its works, and ascends to the Father and His Kingdom.

Journal
I see suffering and I see death, and it is impossible for me to stop seeing this as long as I believe in them. There is no point in trying to see this differently in the way I used to do. When I would see someone suffering and felt bad for them, I would try to see it differently. I would talk to myself about this not being the truth. I would tell myself that they are not the body that is suffering. But these were just words and all they could do was to push the truth down further from my awareness, because there was no healing in that process.

Here is how it is different now. Instead of seeing suffering and trying to see something else, and then feeling guilty and afraid when it didn’t work, I now see the suffering and realizing that my mind is not healed, I ask for healing. Over the years I have done this many times and I have learned that this prayer is always answered. I may not accept it fully the first time I ask, but even a little willingness changes the way I see.

Eventually, I have formed a new habit of asking that my perceptions be healed, and accepting that healing. These new perceptions become stable after awhile and now there are some wrong minded thoughts that I no longer believe even when the thoughts show up in my mind. No matter what my eyes show me, or my ego mind believes, I am never confused about them.

This success has motivated me to continue my practice. Everything I see in the world, and all my interpretations of what I see are based on my perceptions, and my perceptions tell me what it is that I want to believe. Perceptions are not the truth, but simply a choice made according to the experience I want.

I can change my mind at any time, and I do this through the Holy Spirit. I share with Him the way I am seeing something now, and I ask Him to heal my perceptions and show me what is really happening. It is that simple. If it takes time for acceptance to kick in, then I am patient with myself. I can afford to be patient because I have absolute faith in the outcome.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 18. 10-28-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 18

18 Every brother you meet becomes a witness for Christ or for the ego, depending on what you perceive in him. Everyone convinces you of what you want to perceive, and of the reality of the kingdom you have chosen for your vigilance. Everything you perceive is a witness to the thought system you want to be true. Every brother has the power to release you, if you choose to be free. You cannot accept false witness of him unless you have evoked false witnesses against him. If he speaks not of Christ to you, you spoke not of Christ to him. You hear but your own voice, and if Christ speaks through you, you will hear Him.

Journal
That first sentence really grabs my attention. “Every brother you meet becomes a witness for Christ or for the ego, depending on what you perceive in him.”  When I see a co-worker as being manipulative and mean spirited, it is not because she is, it is because I see her in this way. I perceive it because I want the ego thought system to be true. It is essential that I accept this, and recognize it when it happens if I want my mind to be healed.

What do I do now that I understand what I have been doing? Each time I think of this person, I notice my thoughts and my feelings. If they tell me that I am asking to be convinced that the ego is real and that I want it, then I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind. What I really want is sanity. I want to be happy, and to return to the God mind. I have been confused and now I want clarity, so I ask for it.

According to my willingness, this is done for me. Sometimes I have to revisit this idea because, while I want clarity, the ego mind also attracts me. But every time I choose differently, my desire for God grows stronger and my willingness for healing increases. As I do this, I begin to see this one sister of mine, differently. Instead of showing me the ego, she begins to witness to our Divinity. Every time I think of her I either bind myself ever closer to the ego, or I let her strengthen the truth that I am free. It’s up to me.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 17. 10-27-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 17
17 Would you remember the Father? Accept His Son and you will remember Him. Nothing can demonstrate that His Son is unworthy, for nothing can prove that a lie is true. What you see of His Son through the eyes of the ego is a demonstration that His Son does not exist, yet where the Son is the Father must be. Accept what God does not deny, and it will demonstrate its truth. The witnesses for God stand in His light and behold what He created. Their silence is the sign that they have beheld God’s Son, and in the Presence of Christ they need demonstrate nothing, for Christ speaks to them of Himself and of His Father. They are silent because Christ speaks to them, and it is His words they speak.

Journal
“Would you remember the Father? Accept His Son and you will remember Him.” I want to remember my Father and so I will accept His Son. His Son is every one of us together. I watch my mind for judgmental thoughts about anyone, and when I find them I know I must be wrong. There is nothing my brother can do that changes his nature.

He is innocent, and more than innocent, He is the Son of God. Nothing that is done within this illusion of time and space demonstrates his unworthiness. Within time, he is guilty, but he is not in time; he is in God. The illusion of guilt does not alter reality. When I become temporarily confused and start to believe what my eyes show me, I ask for the Atonement. The eyes are made to prove the unprovable, to provide me a picture of what I want to believe, not what is real.

I don’t want to try to prove that my brother is not the Son of God by witnessing his errors. I don’t have to do this. I have allowed the Holy Spirit to show me what lies behind the ego story of a brother and so I know the miracle of a changed perception. I wish I had words to adequately describe what this feels like.  It doesn’t seem enough to just say that I went from chaos to peace.

Some things in the Course gain meaning only through the experience of them, and once experienced, the understanding is irrefutable. Who would return to hell once Heaven is glimpsed? Well, never to return to hell, because I know there is something else now, but I still spend time in purgatory, it seems. I seem to need to make the decision for Heaven many times before I have made my final decision. But could I go back to not knowing there is another way? No. That is not possible. Can’t get the toothpaste back in the tube!

Here is the sentence that makes my heart speed up. “The witnesses for God stand in His light and behold what He created.” Oh my! I want this! I want to stand in God’s light, look at you and see what God created. I want to witness to your reality and so know God. I want to be silent in the presence of such radiant beauty, and simply allow Christ to speak.

Yesterday, I looked for Christ in everyone I saw. It was a lovely day. It was not a perfect attempt, and I was well aware of the ego pushing back, pointing out errors, even an emotional reaction to the whole thing. I began to feel unaccountable irritation with certain people. But I also wanted, beyond ego thinking, to have this day of Christ consciousness. So it was given me and I loved it! Today, I am asking that I stand witness to God’s creations everywhere I go. I am willing to be silent and let Him speak through me.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: V: The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 16. 10-26-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 16

16 Do not underestimate the appeal of the ego’s demonstrations to those who would listen. Selective perception chooses its witnesses carefully, and its witnesses are consistent. The case for insanity is strong to the insane. For reasoning ends at its beginning, and no thought system transcends its source. Yet reasoning without meaning cannot demonstrate anything, and those who are convinced by it must be deluded. Can the ego teach truly when it overlooks truth? Can it perceive what it has denied? Its witnesses do attest to its denial, but hardly to what it has denied. The ego looks straight at the Father and does not see Him, for it has denied His Son.

Journal
What Jesus seems to be telling me in this paragraph is that the ego has something to say and if I am interested and want to believe it, then I will. That does not make it true, it only means that I want it to be true. When I was holding a grievance against someone, I saw justification for that grievance every time I was around this person.

The grievance was the ego interpretation of this person’s actions and I was fully buying into that interpretation. But when I realized how painful it is to separate myself in this way, I changed my mind. I decided that I wanted to be happy and I asked for help to see differently. My prayer was answered and I began to see this person’s actions in another way as I chose to become aware of the Holy Spirit’s interpretation.

Now when I see him I smile. Every time. It just makes me happy to see him. Nothing changed about this person. The only change occurred in my mind. I wanted to see the Christ that was in him, and so Christ Vision was given me. The transition from seeing with ego and seeing with Holy Spirit seemed to take time because I needed time to fully let go of my judgments.

I had a lot invested in my grievance and I had to divest myself of it. I continued to see, first with ego then with Holy Spirit for awhile as I learned through contrast that the ego had nothing to offer that I want. The ego can show me what I think I want, but it cannot show me truth. Once I make a new decision, I understand why I want the truth. The ego illusion was blinding me to the Son and thus to God.

How could the Son of God stand right in front of me and I not see Him? I saw what I wanted to see. That is all the ego does for me. It shows me what I want to see, not what would make me happy, not the truth. The ego cannot give me those things because the ego doesn’t have them to give. The power to choose is mine. To see God, I must choose to see His Son. What grievance could be more important than that?

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 15. 10-22-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 15
15 The ego makes no attempt to understand this, and it is clearly not understandable, but the ego does make every attempt to demonstrate it, and this it does constantly. Analyzing to attack meaning, the ego succeeds in overlooking it and is left with a series of fragmented perceptions which it unifies on behalf of itself. This, then, becomes the universe it perceives. And it is this universe which, in turn, becomes its demonstration of its own reality.

Journal
I have been allowing my mind to see the ego attack on meaning in a larger sense. I looked at how it works at those times I am sick and those times I am upset with coworkers. I was thinking about relationships that have suffered this ego attack, and fear of lack and loss. But really, all of those categories are just more ego attack on wholeness.

It is the ego saying that a threatened relationship is different than when my income is threatened. So, I see all these different forms of separation, then I see the different stories around each form. The ego separates things until they are unrecognizable. What seems to help is to become willing to see the sameness in all things. Then the Holy Spirit can heal my mind of this insane fragmentation.

If I am caught up in the story, I will see only separation. I will see part of a story, and focus only on the part that interests me. I will see things through the filter of my beliefs so that what I see will be different than what someone else sees. I then wonder how it is that the other person could be so wrong when I find the “truth” so obvious. The level of confusion is so profound that I cannot find my way out alone. I need help.

When I ask the Holy Spirit for help with any perceived problem, He starts with me where I think I am and then sends me thoughts that lead me out of the story and toward truth. No matter what the story or what emotion the story elicits, it is never about that story. It is always about the belief that sourced the story and then projected it into the world. So He brings me to that belief and then I have the choice of keeping it or letting it go. If I don’t see the value in keeping it, the belief is removed from my mind.

Sometimes I have to go through the process a number of times until I finally decide that I don’t want it anymore. The point here is that the story I am experiencing is just a reflection of wrong minded thinking. It is an idea and that is all. It is either a true idea or false idea. The false idea doesn’t exist because God did not create it. So there is only a true idea. Wow! Look how the Holy Spirit undid the complicated and shattered meaning the ego tries to demonstrate, and brings us to the simple unified truth. Everything is an idea and only true ideas exist. Like it says at the beginning of the Course:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exis

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, V.The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 14. 10-21-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 14
14 The ego’s interpretation of the laws of perception are, and would have to be, the exact opposite of the Holy Spirit’s. The ego focuses on error and overlooks truth. It makes real every mistake it perceives, and with characteristically circular reasoning concludes that because of the mistake consistent truth must be meaningless. The next step, then, is obvious. If consistent truth is meaningless, inconsistency must be true. Holding error clearly in mind, and protecting what it has made real, the ego proceeds to the next step in its thought system: Error is real and truth is error.

Journal
The ego focuses on error and overlooks truth. As soon as I read this sentence I saw how true this is and I saw that the ego then makes the error real. I got a call from an angry customer this morning. He had asked for a repair, and the repair didn’t work. In fact, this is his third time to call about the same repair. What I did was call the repairman and tell him what happened. I told him it must be done and done right, and everything cleaned up. I was very firm about this.

I did what I needed to do to get the problem solved. It should have been over at that point, but what happened is that the ego mind felt aggrieved and felt like anger was called for. It had stories to justify its position on this. The ego overlooked the truth that everyone involved is innocent and that there was a mistake to be corrected and that was all. Instead, it made the error real, insisting that it should never have happened and that the repairman was guilty for doing a shoddy job, and therefore, that my anger was justifiable.
Immediately, I turned to the Holy Spirit for His interpretation of the situation. I saw a problem, I took care of the problem, it’s over. There is no need for guilt or anger. Everyone is innocent and this is true in every case no matter what happened. In the world mistakes are made, but in reality nothing has happened and God’s creation remains as it was created.

Even so, I notice how intent the ego mind is on finding the guilty party and how it loves its righteous anger. But this time, I am not going to join the ego. I see the temptation, I understand it, but I am not interested. I see that the urge to be angry is just a reaction to fear. There is fear of losing a customer and fear of not making the right choice, of having to take on the role of “boss” as I speak to the repairman and not feeling qualified for that role. There is the fear of being judged harshly by the repairman. The fear he and others will see in me the same error I see in them. I give all this to Spirit and let it stay there.

It is not my goal to be the best sales person, or to keep customers. It is not my goal to look good in someone’s eyes, to earn their respect, or their acceptance. It is not my goal to be the boss or to avoid that responsibility. It is my goal to watch my mind, to ask for and accept healing, and to see the face of Christ in everyone including me. I need only open to that, to want it. I am doing that to the best of my ability and the Holy Spirit is doing His part, so it is done.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: V: The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 13. 10-20-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 13
13 The ego analyzes; the Holy Spirit accepts. The appreciation of wholeness comes only through acceptance, for to analyze means to break down or to separate out. The attempt to understand totality by breaking it down is clearly the characteristically contradictory approach of the ego to everything. The ego believes that power, understanding and truth lie in separation, and to establish this belief it must attack. Unaware that the belief cannot be established, and obsessed with the conviction that separation is salvation, the ego attacks everything it perceives by breaking it into small, disconnected parts, without meaningful relationships and therefore without meaning. The ego will always substitute chaos for meaning, for if separation is salvation, harmony is threat.

Journal
So how is it that I analyze instead of accept? What does Jesus mean by this? I was sick yesterday and I don’t feel really good today. The ego mind thinks about what this means. How did I get sick? What caused it? What would fix it? What medicine or action would make me feel better? This, I think, is analyzing the sickness, breaking it down into what feels like more manageable parts and then dealing with each one.

How would acceptance look? I am thinking about a video of John Mark Stroud that I watched yesterday. It was part of the MiracleShare Conference. In his talk, John Mark said that the body is a communication device that tells us where we are mistaken in our thinking. In this way it is very valuable. I agree with this and this morning, instead of analyzing the sickness, I accept it as a message that my mind is sick and needs healing.

There is only one problem and one solution. The problem is separation and analyzing the sickness just increased the separation beliefs in my mind. This sickness is different than other sicknesses I have had before and it is not as serious as some, but because of the symptoms there are certain things I will not be able to do. Maybe I got this stomach upset from eating too much rich food or maybe I caught it from someone. Maybe I need some medicine or just some time and rest, or maybe I need to see a doctor. So many parts to the problem and so many possible solutions if I keep listening to the ego.

If, on the other hand, I accept that I am listening to the wrong voice and that is the only problem I have, then the solution is simple. I stop listening to the ego interpretation of the problem and the ego solutions, and listen instead to the Holy Spirit. Problem solved. If there is anything that needs to be done in the world, I will know what it is, but the problem itself was wrong minded thinking, and the Holy Spirit is the Answer. I accept the Holy Spirit’s answer and quickly or eventually, the body catches up and communicates to me that the mind has been healed.

Jesus says that the ego believes that power, understanding and truth lie in separation, and from looking at the way the ego tried to solve this problem, I see how true that is. If the ego could not categorize the problem, it would not know how to find an answer. It needs to know symptoms of various diseases and the medicine appropriate for each. It needs to know what sickness is serious enough for medical intervention and which just needs time. The ego believes that power and defense lies in how it separates things out and how much information it has at hand for each separate part.

Holy Spirit doesn’t separate at all. It sees only one problem and that is a confused mind. It sees only one solution and that is a clear mind. This is true if I have a headache, a virus, a cold, cancer or if I am dying. It’s all the same to the Holy Spirit, and so the answer is obvious and simple. The ego needs to attack the problem by dividing and separating and the result is chaos. The Holy Spirit accepts that the problem is one and the answer is one, and so the result is peace.

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