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Study of Text, Chapter 11: VIII: The Problem and the Answer, P 4. 11-30-15

VIII. The Problem and the Answer, P 4

4 No one can withhold truth except from himself. Yet God will not refuse you the Answer He gave. Ask, then, for what is yours, but which you did not make, and do not defend yourself against truth. You made the problem God has answered. Ask yourself, therefore, but one simple question:

Do I want the problem or do I want the answer?

Decide for the answer and you will have it, for you will see it as it is, and it is yours already.

Journal
It seems the answer is always available to us because the answer has already been established and is ours. The only way we could not be aware of the answer is if we deliberately choose the problem over the answer. I have been asking myself what are the problems I am choosing to keep when I could have the answer instead. Obviously, they are the problems I still have.

I still look in the mirror and see an image of a chubby woman and that feels like a problem to me. The image is of my own making, a projection of the beliefs in my mind. I see it as a problem, and yet, if the image is a representation of my beliefs, and if my beliefs can be changed, why am I holding onto this problem image? I must be defending myself against the truth. This is true of all the problems I perceive in the world.

All of them are the same problem. They are just different forms of the one problem; I think I am separated from God. What am I afraid of? Not enough money? Not enough love? Sickness? Loss of some sort is always involved in my fears. All of those fears are really the fear that I am separated from God. Could loss of anything be found in God? Could even the idea of loss and lack be found in God? All forms of loss have something to do with the body. Could a body be found in God?

These are problems that I made and the solution to those problems, the one problem, was given in the instant it was needed. It is in my mind waiting for me to want it. For right now I am still looking at my problems as if each one was discreet and allowing myself to find the answer. But each time I do so, I remind myself that it is just a form of the one problem and the answer is for all forms of that problem. In this way I am learning not to defend against the answer and that I don’t even want to defend against it, because it is a defense against God. I am learning that I want God.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: VIII: The Problem and the Answer, P 3. 11-24-15

VIII. The Problem and the Answer, P 3

3 You do not know the meaning of anything you perceive. Not one thought you hold is wholly true. The recognition of this is your firm beginning. You are not misguided; you have accepted no guide at all. Instruction in perception is your great need, for you understand nothing. Recognize this but do not accept it, for understanding is your inheritance. Perceptions are learned, and you are not without a Teacher. Yet your willingness to learn of Him depends on your willingness to question everything you learned of yourself, for you who learned amiss should not be your own teacher.

Journal
I think that surely I have learned this and surely I believe it and even want it to be true. Then I see that I am defending myself, and in doing so I am defending the right to be my own teacher. Why would I do that? I know it has only brought me suffering in the past so why would I want to do it again?

I also know that following Spirit instead, brings me joy and peace. You would think that the contrast alone would be enough to convince me of the teacher I want.  And yet, I still listen to the ego and the ego is nothing, so I don’t just follow the wrong teacher, I follow nothing. In doing so, I make more of nothing, but it is a nothing that I believe in and so it is true for me, and thus it is painful to me.

This morning while doing my lesson I wrote about defending myself at work. I saw myself doing it and regretted it right away. I asked the Holy Spirit to undo this need to defend myself, and at the same time, I saw my reluctance to let that go. I opened my mind to Spirit as I asked for clarity about this. Why do I think I need to defend myself?

Here is what He showed me.

I saw fear in my mind. I made of myself something that is not real and therefore is not eternal. This thing I made, this separate vulnerable self is in constant danger of not existing because it doesn’t. And yet, I made it and want it and so I must defend it all the time. How exhausting! I want to know my real self, and I want to let this little self disappear from my mind.

I become confused about what I am defending. It is not really my place within the company I am defending. That is just an image I made of the desire to exist as a separate self with a will apart from my Creator. If everyone at work valued me above all others and couldn’t imagine the company surviving without me, I would still not feel safe, because the idea of vulnerability would not have been healed. It would just show up differently.

These stories of Myron are not the problem; they are the effect of a mistaken belief in a self that is apart from God. The solution is to stop asking the self that is the problem for the solution. The ego self will only look for solutions within the images it makes. It will never offer a solution for the source of those images because that would end it. I am asking for salvation of a teacher that doesn’t want me saved.

Thank you, Holy Spirit.

I surrender as my own teacher and I ask that my mind be healed of all the false thoughts I have accepted in the past. I want to wake up from this dream of separation and I will never do that if I keep asking the ego mind to be my teacher. I surrender! I surrender not in fear and not with a sense of loss, but in laughter and joy! I surrender, Holy Spirit. Please teach me. I will try to stay out of the way.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: VIII: The Problem and the Answer, P 2. 11-23-15

VIII. The Problem and the Answer, P 2

2 The Bible tells you to become as little children. Little children recognize that they do not understand what they perceive, and so they ask what it means. Do not make the mistake of believing that you understand what you perceive, for its meaning is lost to you. Yet the Holy Spirit has saved its meaning for you, and if you will let Him interpret it, He will restore to you what you have thrown away. Yet while you think you know its meaning, you will see no need to ask it of Him.

Journal
As part of yesterday’s practice, I became willing to see everything in my life as perfect. The ego mind did not appreciate that decision and argued vigorously against it at times. When something happened that seemed not to be perfect, I stopped and asked Jesus to show me the perfection. Instead of saying that this could not be perfect, I asked how this is perfect. It made all the difference.

What a happy day it was! I decided that I must be what God created and so I must be happy and at peace. I decided that I would act as if that is the truth for me regardless of the ego objections. And when it seemed that ego thinking was intruding on my decision for God, I reminded myself that this was not my choice. I decided for joy and I decided for peace. In so doing, I decided to disregard appearances and disregard ego.

I realize that I had become as a little child yesterday awaiting wise counsel rather than deciding for myself based on false meaning. My reward yesterday was to have restored to me what I daily throw away, joy, love, and peace. What is the little ego self compared to this? I wanted to yell from the rooftops; “We are forever Your Effect, and You forever and forever are our Cause. As You created us we have remained. Where You established us we still abide.”

I want to tell everyone that we can be happy and at peace now! We don’t have to wait for anything to change, but the changeless belongs to us, is us. All we need to do is stop deciding for ourselves what everything means. Instead, we need only set aside what it appears to mean and open the mind to the truth, which will be readily revealed to us because it is ours to have.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, VIII.The Problem and the Answer, P 1. 11-20-15

VIII. The Problem and the Answer
1 This is a very simple course. Perhaps you do not feel you need a course which, in the end, teaches that only reality is true. But do you believe it? When you perceive the real world, you will recognize that you did not believe it. Yet the swiftness with which your new and only real perception will be translated into knowledge will leave you but an instant to realize that this alone is true. And then everything you made will be forgotten; the good and the bad, the false and the true. For as Heaven and earth become one, even the real world will vanish from your sight. The end of the world is not its destruction, but its translation into Heaven. The reinterpretation of the world is the transfer of all perception to knowledge.

Journal
This reinterpretation of the world, the transfer of all perception to knowledge, is our goal. It is our ultimate goal, but not my immediate goal, I think. When this goal is complete the world we know will be forgotten. Everything we made will vanish, the good and bad, the false and the true, as Heaven and earth become one. Even the real world will vanish. That seems far from anything that I can imagine or have any part in accomplishing.

I look toward allowing all untrue thoughts in my mind to be healed, at least all that I am able to do toward this goal. I look toward awakening within this world, knowing that what I believe is not true and experiencing the real world. This I can anticipate because I can understand it even if I have not yet fully accomplished it. I think that is not phrased exactly right. I have not fully accomplished my part in it would be more accurate.

I know people who have done so, and I see what it must be like to live a more honest and therefore more beautiful, happier and peaceful life. My life has become more so even now, though not truly the happy dream or real world. But that it is closer makes it seem possible and even probable of accomplishment. But to think of the ultimate goal of the illusion disappearing completely and being only one with God, that is something outside my imagination. I understand the concept but have no experience of it in my recovered memory. One day, though.

In the meantime, I will continue the practices and I will continue to be open and available to guidance and instruction and even revelation. I know these things work and have brought me to this much happier state of mind and to the clarity that I have at this time, so I will stay on this path unless guided elsewhere. I know the end is certain and as Jesus tells us it will be, just as I know that tonight the sun will set and tomorrow the sun will rise. I know it even though it has not yet occurred.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11, VII.The Condition of Reality, P 4. 11-19-15

VII. The Condition of Reality, P 4

4 The perception of goodness is not knowledge, but the denial of the opposite of goodness enables you to recognize a condition in which opposites do not exist. And this is the condition of knowledge. Without this awareness you have not met its conditions, and until you do you will not know it is yours already. You have made many ideas that you have placed between yourself and your Creator, and these beliefs are the world as you perceive it. Truth is not absent here, but it is obscure. You do not know the difference between what you have made and what God created, and so you do not know the difference between what you have made and what you have created. To believe that you can perceive the real world is to believe that you can know yourself. You can know God because it is His Will to be known. The real world is all that the Holy Spirit has saved for you out of what you have made, and to perceive only this is salvation, because it is the recognition that reality is only what is true.

Journal
How I see the world depends on whether I am looking at what God created and what I created, or if I am looking at what I made. I cannot perceive the real world if I look at the illusory world. To be free of the illusion I must no longer desire it. I must desire only what is real. From that desire I am led to release to the Holy Spirit all that is not truth. He remembers the truth for me and will show it to me when that becomes what I want. The real world is all that the Holy Spirit has saved for me out of what I made. Salvation is the willingness to perceive only this.

I was reading in the paper this morning some comments people made about the refugees being placed in our towns. I see that some people have so much fear they cannot conceive of allowing these people into their states. It seems insane to them to even consider it. Their fear is all that drives them and so the world they see is a frightening place in need of constant defense. Their fear will not let them see how their Christian values such as “what you do for the least of my brothers you do for me” and “do unto your neighbors as you would have them do unto you” apply here.

Then there are some who seem to know that they should be generous and provide refuge, but who are afraid to do so. They justify the fear they feel by saying things like, “We don’t hate the ones that would come, but love those who are here.” It is still fear driven thoughts and behavior, but there is also a glimmer of truth in their minds. They know on some level that love is important but fear is still too strong in their minds to choose only love.

Then there were comments from those who spoke from reason. These people are in need, they have been vetted, and we should open our hearts to them. It is the right thing to do and the American way. I have been looking within my own heart. What do I feel? I know that what is fear is not God and not the real world. Fear is always the ego mind and the ego world. Which one will I choose to perceive? It matters, because the choice I make determines my happiness and either pulls us all more deeply into the illusion or lifts us all a little more into the Kingdom.

The words I say about this, knowing how I should feel, are not the same as believing them so I choose to be honest and from that honesty allow healing of all that is not truth. I feel like we should accept these people and give them comfort and help to make a new life. I also feel trepidation. I feel afraid. What if one of them is a terrorist plant that evaded the scrutiny of the government and in inviting them in, I have invited the wolf to take refuge among the sheep.

The fear in my heart is the illusion I made. It is the ego. It is also the veil that keeps me from seeing the real world and from returning my mind to God. I cannot enter His presence if I attack His Son, and these refugees are His Son. Looking at them in fear is an attack. What do I do with the fear thoughts that are blocking love?

I made fear and so I believe in it, and as Jesus tells us in the Course, what we believe in is true for us. That is why I cannot undo fear in my mind. I can see the fear and recognize the harm it does. I can know that fear blocks all that is true and good and that it keeps me in the dark. I can know that I cannot have both fear and joy and that I must choose what it is I really want. But I cannot destroy or change what I believe to be true.

The solution is to turn to the Holy Spirit who is in my mind for that purpose. It is His function to undo for me what I no longer want to believe. I give Him the fear in my mind. I put it on the altar within; all the fearful thoughts, all the justifications, all the judgments about this issue. I ask for the Atonement as I set it all next to Him. I trust in His power to undo what I have done in making a world unlike Heaven.

There. I have done my part and now I wait in trust for the Holy Spirit to do His. The ego mind argues against this and tries to show that there is no way to see this differently. It argues for common sense. It argues for separation, at least in this case. I am willing to perceive only the truth. I don’t have to figure out what that looks like or how it could work. I only need to put my trust in God rather than the ego. The real world is all that the Holy Spirit has saved for me out of what I made. Salvation is the willingness to perceive only this. I am willing.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: VII: The Condition of Reality, P 3. 11-17-15

VII. The Condition of Reality, P 3

3 The ego may see some good, but never only good. That is why its perceptions are so variable. It does not reject goodness entirely, for that you could not accept. But it always adds something that is not real to the real, thus confusing illusion and reality. For perceptions cannot be partly true. If you believe in truth and illusion, you cannot tell which is true. To establish your personal autonomy you tried to create unlike your Father, believing that what you made is capable of being unlike Him. Yet everything true is like Him. Perceiving only the real world will lead you to the real Heaven, because it will make you capable of understanding it.

Journal
As I read that the ego always adds something that is not real to the real, and thus creates confusion, I am reminded of the ego version of forgiveness. Let’s consider how the ego forgives. It makes the sin real and then tries to forgive it. For instance, when I was holding a grievance against my co-worker, I tried to forgive him. I tried over and over to forgive him and to forgive myself for judging him.

I would think about the words and the behavior that I found threatening. He was, in my mind, symbolic of the young replacing the old, which in this case happened to be me. He was also symbolic of the victimizer and the proof I was unfairly treated. There, I had defined the problem, labeled it properly and thus made my grievance real. Now all I had to do was forgive it. Well, good luck with that! I have only confused myself by trying to believe in innocence and guilt.

I cannot forgive what I really believe is true. I can only offer feeble attempts to explain away the guilt I believe in, make excuses for the behavior I hate, and thus make the reality of it stronger in my mind. This is the ego attempt at forgiveness. The desire to forgive is true and the belief that there is anything to forgive is not true, so I was at an impasse, and for a long time nothing happened other than I was frustrated at my failed attempts to experience true forgiveness.

Finally, I managed to chip away at the problem through my commitment to not give up. I kept asking for healing until my willingness was strong enough to mean that I wanted healing, and only healing. I lost interest in everything except forgiveness. This was the permission the Holy Spirit was waiting for, and He did His part in removing from my mind the belief that I needed someone to be guilty. In other words, he removed what was not real, my belief that my co-worker was truly guilty, and what was left was only the truth, which was forgiveness.

As I continue to allow my mind to be cleansed of all that is not true, I am left with only truth. I do this here in the illusion because it prepares me to accept Heaven. It makes a place in my mind that is free of illusion so that I will understand Heaven. If Heaven is within and I can’t find it, it must be that I don’t understand it. But that is changing as I continue to release what is not true and allow my mind to be healed.

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Study of Text, Chapter 11: VII: The Condition of Reality, P 2. 11-16-15

VII. The Condition of Reality, P 2

2 Every loving thought that the Son of God ever had is eternal. The loving thoughts his mind perceives in this world are the world’s only reality. They are still perceptions, because he still believes that he is separate. Yet they are eternal because they are loving. And being loving they are like the Father, and therefore cannot die. The real world can actually be perceived. All that is necessary is a willingness to perceive nothing else. For if you perceive both good and evil, you are accepting both the false and the true and making no distinction between them.

Journal
There are two ideas that stood out to me.  First, my loving thoughts are eternal. Honestly, I must think about which thoughts are actually loving. Love has been a much confused concept in this world. There were times when I thought I was being loving and actually, I learned through the study of the Course, that it was only neediness that I was expressing.

I had a recent experience of love when I was flying to N Carolina for the workshop. I had been standing in a long line waiting to get on the plane. It was moving slowly because they kept calling up various groups of “special” people. First class and VIPs of various degrees. I was starting to think untrue thoughts about these folks who were getting the best seats and on top of that, were keeping me standing in line.

With nothing else to do, I started practicing being in the moment rather than anticipating the next moment. Immediately I noticed how heavy and dark I felt and realized it was because I was attacking my brothers. So I asked for the Atonement in this situation and allowed those thoughts to be removed from my mind.

When I did finally get on the plane and was moving slowly up the aisle, I met eyes with a man sitting in first class. I smiled at him and kept eye contact for a moment. It was a smile that conveyed love and union, and he responded with a sincere smile of his own. When I looked away, I made eye contact with a woman across the aisle and the same thing happened.
These were holy encounters, an exchange of love. Those thoughts are eternal.

The second thing that caught my attention in this paragraph is that the real world can actually be perceived. The real world is a world of love and I got a little glimpse of that world, a peek behind the veil, when I had the holy encounters on the plane. Jesus says that I can have that experience all the time in all circumstances as I begin to perceive the world in this way.

But to do so, I must choose only truth. At this time, I am still shifting back and forth between the world the ego perceives and the world that is available to me through true perception. I am closer to consistently choosing truth than I ever have been and so my life is more peaceful and loving than it ever has been. I am dedicated to this practice and I am open and willing to allow the full healing of my mind.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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