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Study of Text, C 14: IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 5. 3-31-17

IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 5
5 Before you make any decisions for yourself, remember that you have decided against your function in Heaven, and then consider carefully whether you want to make decisions here. Your function here is only to decide against deciding what you want, in recognition that you do not know. How, then, can you decide what you should do? Leave all decisions to the One Who speaks for God, and for your function as He knows it. So will He teach you to remove the awful burden you have laid upon yourself by loving not the Son of God, and trying to teach him guilt instead of love. Give up this frantic and insane attempt that cheats you of the joy of living with your God and Father, and of waking gladly to His Love and Holiness that join together as the truth in you, making you one with Him.

Journal
Because we chose an experience of separation our tendency is going to be to move toward fear and guilt. This is because they are the natural outcomes of separation. Therefore, if we want to return our minds to love then we need to stop making decisions from a place of fear and guilt. This would seem to be circular thinking since we are in fear and guilt so how do we stop making decisions that keep us in fear and guilt?

Our salvation from this closed cycle of thinking is the Holy Spirit, which was placed in our mind for that purpose. The Holy Spirit is the Love in our mind from which we can make decisions that take us out of fear and guilt. It seems that first, we must become aware of what is happening and why we keep falling back into fear and guilt and then learn that there is another option. A Course in Miracles is an excellent way to learn this. It does a thorough job of highlighting the ego for us and also it presents the way out of the ego.

Once we get to that place on our path Home, we then must overcome the belief that no longer making these decisions on our own is a loss. We have treasured this ability to make decisions and tend not to want to relinquish this right. This something else the Course helps us with. We learn that we make no decisions on my own anyway, that we are always making them either with the ego or the Holy Spirit. With practice, we discover that the decisions made with ego are often unfortunate and that the decisions made with Holy Spirit lead us to joy and peace. From there we must form a new habit of consistently asking the Holy Spirit to decide for us.

From choosing the Holy Spirit as my decision maker, I have seen that I make terrible decisions without Him. I often choose to act from fear and guilt and then the situation in question just deteriorates from there. Recently while trying to be helpful to someone I love, I made things worse for both me and for him. I did this because I was trying to be helpful in my own way. I was in fear and guilt so fear and guilt were all I had to offer. At the time my thoughts seemed to make sense to me, and even to be obviously right. I was wrong… again.

But I saw my error and instead of keeping the feeling of being guilty, and instead of trying to get rid of it by projecting onto the other person, I asked the Holy Spirit to decide for me how I feel, and what I should do. This is always, without exception, the choice that will work. It is the choice that will bring me happiness and peace and will bring me back to God. I truly don’t know what I want or what will make me happy, but the Holy Spirit does know this, so why not let Him decide for me?

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Study of Text, C 14: IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 3. 3-29-17

IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 4
4 You need not understand creation to do what must be done before that knowledge would be meaningful to you. God breaks no barriers; neither did He make them. When you release them they are gone. God will not fail, nor ever has in anything. Decide that God is right and you are wrong about yourself. He created you out of Himself, but still within Him. He knows what you are. Remember that there is no second to Him. There cannot, therefore, be anyone without His Holiness, nor anyone unworthy of His perfect Love. Fail not in your function of loving in a loveless place made out of darkness and deceit, for thus are darkness and deceit undone. Fail not yourself, but instead offer to God and you His blameless Son. For this small gift of appreciation for His Love, God will Himself exchange your gift for His.

Journal
How wonderful that I don’t have to understand creation. Creation is what it is without my understanding. Not only that, but it is meaningful to me whether I understand it or not. To experience that meaning, I need only accept my function. I need only love and be loved, and this I do as I accept the Atonement for myself. It might look like I have to do a lot to achieve this, but really whileI have found this to be true, I have at the same time, found that it is not true.

I have had to look at my thoughts and their effects with the Holy Spirit. This felt like hard work because at first, I resisted it. I didn’t want to look at my thoughts. I didn’t want to take responsibility for their effects. This is the reason it felt like hard work. But slowly, as I surrendered to the process, I discovered that it wasn’t hard at all. I just did it. I laid the false thoughts on the altar and walked away from them. Now when it feels hard, it is because I lay them on the altar and then I stand there keeping an eye on them. ~smile~

How could this be hard? As I lay my beliefs aside, I am simply discovering what always lay beneath them. I am still as God created me. He knows what I am and He has not changed His mind about me. He created me love, and it is love that I am in spite of my foolish belief I could be something else. This is all that salvation is; I am still as God created me. I have not changed creation. I have made a loveless place in my mind and believe I dwell there. But as I insist on love even in this dark place, I dispel the darkness.

This is God’s plan for my salvation, and I desire only His plan. I have tried my plan and it has never worked. I thought that I could find a perfect relationship, a better job, a healthier, prettier body, or a sanctuary in this dangerous place and then I would be saved. And not one of those plans has ever been my salvation. They have all fallen apart and left me without hope, at least I was without hope until I found A Course in Miracles. Through A Course in Miracles, I finally understood that I was in competition with God for the plan for salvation that would work. No wonder it all felt so hopeless.

Ha! You win, God! I give up. I don’t know how to save myself. Thank you for Your Holy Spirit; thank you for placing It in my mind right next to my problem. Thank you, Jesus, for completing the Atonement so that all I have to do is accept it. Thank you for hanging here with me, and helping me as I choose again. Thank you for standing at the end, ready to undo what we are not able to undo ourselves. This very little You ask of me, that I simply lay aside my own plan and accept Yours, this I am willing to do.

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Study of Text, C 14: IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 3. 3-29-17

IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 3
3 When you have let all that obscured the truth in your most holy mind be undone for you, and therefore stand in grace before your Father, He will give Himself to you as He has always done. Giving Himself is all He knows, and so it is all knowledge. For what He knows not cannot be, and therefore cannot be given. Ask not to be forgiven, for this has already been accomplished. Ask, rather, to learn how to forgive, and to restore what always was to your unforgiving mind. Atonement becomes real and visible to those who use it. On earth this is your only function, and you must learn that it is all you want to learn. You will feel guilty till you learn this. For in the end, whatever form it takes, your guilt arises from your failure to fulfill your function in God’s Mind with all of yours. Can you escape this guilt by failing to fulfill your function here?

Journal
When I have let all that obscured the truth in my most holy mind be undone for me…
This is my daily practice. It now occurs almost without effort. I don’t wake up in the morning and think, today I will let my mind be healed. I don’t try to be mindful of my thoughts. I don’t even make a conscious decision to release a thought for healing when I notice it. And yet, it all happens. I think because I have been vigilant for my thoughts and their release and because I convinced myself that this is what I want, now I choose it naturally. There are still times of resistance, but past success has motivated me to push through those.

God will give Himself to me, is giving Himself to me, will always give Himself to me, because that is all He knows. This lets me know that when I fail to know God, to feel Him in me and to feel myself in Him, it is because I have blocked that knowledge with unforgiveness. I have made a world of my own through projecting from my ego mind and have chosen to believe in it instead of God. This is just a choice and I can always make a different choice, and God is the only other choice. Thus, I continue my practice.

Ask not to be forgiven, for this has already been accomplished. Ask, rather, to learn how to forgive …
Asking for forgiveness seems natural and necessary when we believe in our guilt, but it is not necessary. God has not condemned us so He sees no reason to forgive. It is only our own mind that condemns and this is why we must learn to forgive. Rather than praying, “Father, forgive me,” I say, “Holy Spirit, please help me to forgive myself.” I like to be specific when I can and often use the prayer I learned through The End of Death, by Nouk Sanchez. “Holy Spirit, please help me to forgive myself for using ______(name the situation, or _______(name the person, to attack myself. Forgiveness is how I restore the awareness of God to my holy mind.

Atonement becomes real and visible to those who use it.
Atonement is forgiveness in the sense it is undoing. It is the realization that nothing actually happened that needs forgiveness. It is the release of the blocks to Love’s Presence in our mind. The only way it becomes real to us is to use it. An example of this is when I have held a grievance against someone and when I finally let that grievance go, I have felt light and free. Then the Atonement is a felt experience for me. Having accepted the Atonement for this grievance I now have a loving relationship rather than a contentious one, and this is an example of the Atonement made visible.

On earth this is your only function, and you must learn that it is all you want to learn.
As the Lesson says, My only function is to accept the Atonement for myself. In accepting it for myself, I accept it for all, and all will experience this acceptance to whatever degree they are able at the time. It is not my responsibility to make the Atonement possible because that was done automatically when the need arose. I don’t have to do anything to set the Atonement in motion because Jesus did this and so that is done. I only need to accept it. The only part of accepting that is hard for me is to make this my only function. I keep getting distracted by the functions the ego would give me. I am learning, though, that while there are things I must do here, none of them is my function and I can perform my function as I do these things.

You will feel guilty till you learn this.
This is the way I free myself from guilt. I learn that the Atonement is my only function and I dedicate myself to that, and I will never feel guilty again. I will never feel the need to see anyone else as guilty if I do not see myself as guilty. There was a time I could not imagine seeing myself as innocent. It was frightening to even think I was not guilty as if that thought would call me to God’s vengeful attention. And I certainly couldn’t imagine others as being guilt free. I didn’t want to be the only guilty one, the only one God would punish. It seemed so very necessary that certain others were guilty and punished for their sins. I can hardly remember what that felt like anymore, only that I thought it.

Now I know this is insane thinking. Yes, I still do it sometimes, but I know that it is not right. I know that there is another way. I know that I can find that way as I forgive and accept the Atonement. I even believe that Jesus is telling us the truth that if we look within that we will see only perfect innocence. Well, I guess that I believe in the concept, but not quite yet in the actual occurrence of such a thing. Otherwise, I would have done it. But each time I forgive, I am more certain than before, and I am closer to accepting that there is only innocence.

Right now, I look without and I see the projections of a confused mind and I think that confusion is a sin. This is why I hesitate to look within. I am afraid I will see that the darkness is there and therefore I am truly condemned. But I don’t entirely believe this anymore. Accepting the Atonement for this situation and that thought and doing this over and over has loosened the ego’s hold on this mind. It is getting harder and harder to find guilt in my mind. I am dedicated to my function now and I would fulfill it. It is not hard. I’ve been doing it all along, but now I accept it as my only function.

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Study of Text, C 14: IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 2. 3-28-17

IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 2
2 You who belong to the First Cause, created by Him like unto Himself and part of Him, are more than merely guiltless. The state of guiltlessness is only the condition in which what is not there has been removed from the disordered mind that thought it was. This state, and only this, must you attain, with God beside you. For until you do, you will still think that you are separate from Him. You can perhaps feel His Presence next to you, but cannot know that you are one with Him. This cannot be taught. Learning applies only to the condition in which it happens of itself.

Journal
Jesus says that we cannot learn through teaching that we are one with God. I can understand that. I read that we are one with God, and because of the source of that statement, I believe it. But believing it must be true because Jesus says it is true, is not the same thing as knowing it is true. It is not the same thing as feeling it. The way Jesus explains it makes sense; it is logical. But realizing this does not give me the felt experience of being in God if that is even the way to express it. So I can’t learn this. I can have it, though. I can have it because when the conditions are right, it will happen of itself.

My part to prepare for this, to make the conditions right, is to let myself be taught that I am guiltless, and so is everyone. That is plenty for me to do. At times, it seems so hard as to be impossible, and yet Jesus says he would never ask us to do what we could not do. It would seem to be easy when you think of it. God created me innocent and so that is what I must be. But then I get caught up in my story and the story seems to prove my guilt. With guilt comes fear and then helplessness and finally hopelessness. It is like trying to extricate myself from quicksand. The harder I fight it the deeper I sink into it.

I am not alone in this situation, and that is my salvation. God is with me through His Holy Spirit in my mind. I am helped and guided and healed as I give my attention to Him. I turn from the ego thoughts in my mind, and toward the Holy Spirit and He responds to even this slight desire for His help. As my call for help becomes stronger, I more quickly get out of the sticky mess guilt has me in. When that happens it feels like freedom! This is so simple you would think I was done with it by now.

All I have to do is accept the truth that guilt is not real and that we are innocent. There, it is done! Except that I still feel guilty and I still think I see guilt in others. When I witness a situation that seems to prove guilt, I have to let myself be backed out of it. I ask for help and then I begin to remember that the situation occurred not as proof that guilt is real, but as a result of the belief in my mind that guilt is real. The belief came first, then the situation.

© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, C 14: IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 1. 3-27-17

IV. Your Function in the Atonement, P 1
1 When you accept a brother’s guiltlessness you will see the Atonement in him. For by proclaiming it in him you make it yours, and you will see what you sought. You will not see the symbol of your brother’s guiltlessness shining within him while you still believe it is not there. His guiltlessness is your Atonement. Grant it to him, and you will see the truth of what you have acknowledged. Yet truth is offered first to be received, even as God gave it first to His Son. The first in time means nothing, but the First in eternity is God the Father, Who is both First and One. Beyond the First there is no other, for there is no order, no second or third, and nothing but the First.

Journey
What I got from this paragraph is that I will not see my brother as guiltless until I believe in his guiltlessness. While I look with the ego I will see guilt because that is all the ego has to offer. If I decide with the ego that my brother is guilty, I will not be able to see innocence because what I decide on is true for me. This is why I ask the Holy Spirit to decide for me. I need a new decision in order to see differently. The ego will not give me a new decision, but the Holy Spirit will.

I will not see myself as innocent as long as I see my brother as guilty. Seeing the guilt undone in my brother releases me of my belief in my own guilt. The ego would keep the mind trapped in guilt. It argues that the other is guilty and so there is no innocence to see. It uses the same argument against me, so if I accept it for my brother I will accept it for me.

The Holy Spirit says that no matter what I think I see, it is not possible for us to be guilty because we were created innocent. If I accept His judgment instead of the ego’s I will see the innocence. Acceptance comes first, and then vision to see. This is so hard for us to accept because we have taught ourselves to believe that what the body’s eyes show us came first, then the reaction came next. But this is not how it actually works. We choose what to believe and then the eyes show it to us.

Here is an example of this. I see someone I know steal something from me. This seems to prove that she is guilty of being a thief. I saw it with my own eyes so it must be true. Now guilt has been reinforced in the mind. But I have been studying A Course in Miracles and I don’t entirely believe in guilt anymore. So I take a leap of faith. I ask the Holy Spirit to decide for me how to see this.

I realize that, in spite of appearances, my friend cannot be guilty, and this decision makes it possible for the Holy Spirit shows me her innocence. My friend wants to be happy, just like I want to be happy. She is confused about what will make her happy. Her confusion does not make her guilty. Her confusion cannot make her guilty. God created her innocent and therefore she is innocent. That must mean that my sins are meaningless as well, because I, too, was created innocent. First, comes acceptance of the truth, then comes the realization of the truth. It cannot be the other way around.

© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, C 14: III. The Decision for Guiltlessness, P 19, 20. 3-25-17

III. The Decision for Guiltlessness, P 19, 20
19 Whenever you are in doubt what you should do, think of His Presence in you, and tell yourself this, and only this:
He leadeth me and knows the way, which I know not.
Yet He will never keep from me what He would have me learn.
And so I trust Him to communicate to me all that He knows for me.

20 Then let Him teach you quietly how to perceive your guiltlessness, which is already there.

Journal
I struggled yesterday with ego thoughts of guilt trying to drive my words and actions. The ego would go from blame to fear over and over again. It felt very uncomfortable, but I knew then as I know now that God’s Holy Spirit is in my mind and that I can trust Him. I kept talking to God and asking for help. And of course, I received help. When the time came to speak, I was spoken through, and all is well.

Looking back on yesterday I have to laugh at the ego’s antics. Did you know that jelly beans are a way to resolve the effects of conflict in the mind? If you are doubtful about that you would be right. While they were yummy, they didn’t actually make me feel any better. “Typical, ego, seek and do not find. Thanks for nothing.”

One thing I notice is that while I was intermittently anxious, I was not nearly as upset as I used to get. What I mean by that is that when I had a worry thought or a blame thought, I would feel anxious, then I would talk to Holy Spirit and feel better. I continuously asked Him to decide for me. So while there was anxiety in the moment, there was also faith which would bring me back to peace.

The only really rough moments led to the over indulgence in jelly beans. And even that helped me to see how the mind works. I started off eating three jelly beans and immediately I knew this was an ego impulse. It was the ego offering me a solution to my anxiety that doesn’t work. In taking that direction I was feeding the ego appetite, which is trying to use the body to solve problems.

I kept going back for more jelly beans even knowing what was happening and that triggered guilt feelings. But still, I was aware and I kept asking the Holy Spirit to decide for me. There are still jelly beans in the bag so it worked. LOL.

It is important to note that in my thoughts and actions it seemed like I wasn’t receiving help, and it seemed like I was giving in to ego. But when the time came for me to speak and to act, it was clear that I was stepping back and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through me, so my prayer absolutely was answered. The idea that was reinforced for me during this time is that I am not guilty for my vacillating mind. This is just how things work until we make a final decision for God.

© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Text, C 14: III. The Decision for Guiltlessness, P 18. 3-23-17

III. The Decision for Guiltlessness, P 18
18 You taught yourself the most unnatural habit of not communicating with your Creator. Yet you remain in close communication with Him, and with everything that is within Him, as it is within yourself. Unlearn isolation through His loving guidance, and learn of all the happy communication that you have thrown away but could not lose.

Journal
I remain in close communication with God and with everything that is in God and this is because it is within myself, so how could I not be in communication with It. So why is it that I am not aware of this communication? It seems that I have isolated myself from it. In other words, I am not listening. I have my hands over my “ears” and I am going, “lalalalala” so that I cannot hear. ~smile~ Actually, this is pretty close to what is happening. I use the world I made as the distraction that keeps me from being aware of the communication with God. I use the noise of the ego mind to drown out God.

Even in this state of separation I have chosen, God’s Voice is available to me. God’s Voice speaks to me all through the day, and even here I can learn to hear only that Voice. It is just another insane idea of the ego world that I must “learn” to listen to the Voice of God, a Voice that never has and never will cease to communicate with me. I am not completely deaf to that Voice anymore. I have learned to listen to it, to be aware of it.

Sometimes it feels like love and something like joy, sometimes like peace, and sometimes a blessed stillness. Sometimes It gives me Its thoughts and inspiration. Sometimes It gives me words. Sometimes it is just an understanding of where I am to go, what I am to do, what I am to say. Sometimes when I am wrestling with a thorny issue and I say something like, “Holy Spirit, decide for me,” all the other thoughts and feelings just fall away and all I know is that I am safe and loved.

But nothing I have said here captures the Voice for God and the effects of listening to it.  And that is not exactly communication with God, I think. As I understand it, real communication is not the exchange of words. It is the extension of love. The words and ideas are just the echoes of the love that is being communicated. It is like the love of God is being extended to me and then it is being interpreted in a way that makes sense to me in this contracted state I have put myself in. The love takes on form that is most understandable and most useful to me in the moment.

I am beyond grateful for the communication I am able to accept at this time and I am determined to be more open to communication with my God.

© 2017, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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