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Manual for Teachers: 10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P 5. 4-30-18

10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P 5
5 Therefore lay judgment down, not with regret but with a sigh of gratitude. Now, are you free of a burden so great that you could merely stagger and fall down beneath it. And it was all illusion. Nothing more. Now can the teacher of God rise up unburdened, and walk lightly on. Yet it is not only this that is his benefit. His sense of care is gone, for he has none. He has given it away, along with judgment. He gave himself to Him Whose judgment he has chosen now to trust, instead of his own. Now he makes no mistakes. His Guide is sure. And where he came to judge, he comes to bless. Where now he laughs, he used to come to weep.

Journal
I really am convinced that I want to release judgment to the Holy Spirit. I understand that I am either receiving guidance from the Holy Spirit or the ego and I don’t value the ego’s opinion anymore. And still, I find myself judging with the ego sometimes. I don’t understand this in myself. I mean, why would I do that?

All I have to do is to ignore the ego mind and turn to the Holy Spirit, asking Him to decide for me what everything means. Then I would be free of all error, free to enjoy my life and free to awaken from the dream. Is it just a habit, or perhaps it is a lack of awareness. We make decisions continuously so it does take some vigilance to be sure I am making them with the Holy Spirit, not with the ego.

I went shopping for a new bedspread last week. It was not pleasant. I went to several stores and I had a hard time deciding. I finally settled on one that I wasn’t sure about. After bringing it home and putting on my bed, I didn’t really like it, but I felt depleted from trying to figure out which to buy and from all the running around.

Yesterday, I talked to the Holy Spirit about it. I asked Him for help in shopping so that I didn’t have to waste a lot of time on it. I had a picture in my mind about what it should look like. I went back to the same store I got the first quilt from and looked for only a few minutes when I found exactly the one I wanted. I brought it home and put it on my bed and it looks great. It is so much better if I ask Him to decide for me, even in the little things.

On the other hand, as I was asking Holy Spirit to help me find the right quilt, I had the thought to bring the one I had previously bought with me. Then I could return it at the same time I got another one, but I made the mistake of thinking about it. The ego mind couldn’t decide if that was a good idea. Maybe I wouldn’t find another one and would have to make do. It was a lot of trouble folding that heavy quilt up and … Well, I don’t even know why I didn’t bring it just in case.

Ego is not all that helpful. Now I have to make another trip. But you see what I mean about not always asking for help or not listening when I do. Could it be that there is just some bit of desire for self-determination left in my mind, some belief that deciding on my own is a really valuable thing and I don’t want to give it up? Maybe the thought is that I made Myron and I want her to be a success. God, save me from such foolish ideas.

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Study of Text, C 15: VII. The Needless Sacrifice, P 13. 4-27-18

VII. The Needless Sacrifice, P 13
13 Forgiveness lies in communication as surely as damnation lies in guilt. It is the Holy Spirit’s teaching function to instruct those who believe communication to be damnation that communication is salvation. And He will do so, for the power of God in Him and you is joined in a real relationship so holy and so strong, that it can overcome even this without fear.

Journal
I was watching a YouTube of Byron Katie this morning (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0YaHxO5A8k&feature=youtu.be) She began the talk with an example of a mother being angry with her child for spilling her milk. The mother says, “I told you to be careful. What’s wrong with you.” Katie points out that the child hears, “There’s something wrong with me.”

I’ve done this before. I used to do it when I was younger in pretty much this same way. I had to forgive myself for my error, and through forgiving myself for what I did, I am able now to not do this as much. I say as much because I still do it in a different way. I won’t tell my friend or child that there is something wrong with them when they make an error, but I might show my disappointment in some way that lets them know they are not living up to my expectations.

This behavior now is much rarer and is going away completely as I continue to forgive. But, as Katie pointed out, doing this is a form of violence and I don’t want to contribute to violence by letting my violent words to go out into the world. Violence is not communication; it is the opposite of communication. I had to ask myself a question this morning. Why it is that even though I know better and want to do better, sometimes I still use words that condemn rather than communicate.

As a young mother, I was afraid of failing at my job. I was afraid that I would not bring my child up right and I had good reason to be afraid. I had no idea how to be a mother. I just copied what my mom did even though she often wasn’t a good role model for motherhood any more than her mother was for her.

I often yelled at my kids, especially the first two when I was especially young and ignorant, and I said things that didn’t help. I failed to communicate with love because I didn’t understand that love is powerful and the only real form of communication there is. I stuck with fear and guilt because I understood fear and guilt and it was love that I was afraid of.

Those times when I still use fear or guilt to control, it is still out of fear. It is because I think I must. For instance, if I think my daughter is not protecting her child the way I think she should, I might point out this error, or try to find a way to say it that will not upset her. Maybe I will just frown. But the point is that I want to control her as a mother and I seem to think that making her feel inadequate to the job is a good way to do this. Jeez!

So I treasure the miscommunication and fear communication. But I am learning to see this in myself, to recognize what is happening and why, and to realize that I no longer believe that fear and guilt and control will make me happy. When I see I have failed to communicate, I stop myself right there if I can, or I undo what I had done as soon as I notice it. Thanks to God, I do not have to do this alone. The Holy Spirit will instruct me and as Jesus says, “He will do so, for the power of God in Him and you is joined in a real relationship so holy and so strong, that it can overcome even this without fear.

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Manual for Teachers: 10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P4. 4-26-18

10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P 4
4 Remember how many times you thought you knew all the “facts” you needed for judgment, and how wrong you were! Is there anyone who has not had this experience? Would you know how many times you merely thought you were right, without ever realizing you were wrong? Why would you choose such an arbitrary basis for decision-making? Wisdom is not judgment; it is the relinquishment of judgment. Make then but one more judgment. It is this: There is Someone with you Whose judgment is perfect. He does know all the facts; past, present and to come. He does know all the effects of His judgment on everyone and everything involved in any way. And He is wholly fair to everyone, for there is no distortion in His perception.

Journal

I really get this. I agree that I don’t have all the facts, not ever, and so I have no way to judge accurately anything. I accept that I do have the Holy Spirit right here in my mind and He does know everything and will judge for me. I have had that experience and often. I know how to become still and let Him remove what is not true from my mind. I know how to relinquish my own judgments and surrender to Him. I do it a lot

I would say at this point in my life, judgment is just a bad habit, and one I am working to break. I am asking the Holy Spirit to help me be aware of any judgmental thoughts in my mind today. I ask that He show me judgment in whatever forms it might take. I know that sometimes I judge myself more harshly than I ever would anyone else. I know that sometimes judgment sounds like an attack thought, and sometimes it sounds like fear.

I want to be aware of these judgments so that I can allow them to be removed and I can be free of them. This produces an emptiness into which the Holy Spirit can reveal the truth. Since I am having to ask for this help even in being aware of the desire to judge, I suspect that in addition to habitual thinking that there must be some belief left in my mind that judging is a valuable right that I don’t want to give up. Holy Spirit, please remove that belief from my mind. It doesn’t even make sense.

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Study of Text, C 15: VII. The Needless Sacrifice, P 12. 4-25-18

VII. The Needless Sacrifice, P 12
12 The illusion of the autonomy of the body and its ability to overcome loneliness is but the working of the ego’s plan to establish its own autonomy. As long as you believe that to be with a body is companionship, you will be compelled to attempt to keep your brother in his body, held there by guilt. And you will see safety in guilt and danger in communication. For the ego will always teach that loneliness is solved by guilt, and that communication is the cause of loneliness. And despite the evident insanity of this lesson, many have learned it.

Journal
The ego wants to be autonomous. It wants to be self-directed, to be its own God. It uses the body for this purpose. One way it tries to establish its own autonomy is to use the body to overcome loneliness. I have gone along with this plan more than once. I would feel lonely and start calling people to see whom I could use to soothe this feeling.

I stopped doing that for two reasons. One is that I began to see that using people was not something I wanted to do anymore. I began to desire only to share, not to use. The second reason is because of what Jesus is telling us here.
Going along with the belief that loneliness is undone by being in the presence of other bodies is just strengthening the ego’s autonomy in my mind.

Anytime the ego is involved, there you will find guilt, and this effort to relieve loneliness through being with bodies is no different. Jesus says that as long as we believe that to be with a body is companionship, we will be compelled to attempt to keep our brother in his body, held there by guilt. I was thinking about this, wondering how that worked.

The thought that came to my mind was of being married. I remember feeling lonely when my husband was off with his friends instead of being with me. I thought the solution was to keep him at home in some way and would use guilt to do that, intimating that if he loved me he would be here with me.

I see how it is that I used to believe that my safety was dependent on guilt as I tried to use guilt to solve my loneliness problem. Looking at the next thing Jesus tells us in this paragraph, that we believe communication is the cause of loneliness, I wonder about that. The ego thinks that speaking a lot of meaningless words is to communication. It thinks that telling someone they are guilty in order to control their behavior is communication.

I redefine communication in the way Jesus does, and communication becomes the sharing of love. I communicate love to the other and there is no need for bodies to be together to do that. I love each of my children very much and that love flows from me whether these bodies are in proximity or not. Just thinking of them fills me with love and makes me happy.

This is real communication and as far as I can tell, the only kind of communication. I might express that communication with my body when appropriate. Yesterday, my daughter asked me to babysit while she was at the doctor and I did that, not out of a need to be with her body or the baby’s body, but just because it felt like love to do it.

The ego must hate this because it undoes its effort to establish autonomy through loneliness. So to the ego, communication is dangerous to its plans. If I am identifying with the ego as myself, then this will be my belief as well. As I let go of the ego (personal self) identity, I become more identified with spirit and so more open to true communication.

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Manual for Teachers: 10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P3. 4-24-18

10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P 3
3 The aim of our curriculum, unlike the goal of the world’s learning, is the recognition that judgment in the usual sense is impossible. This is not an opinion but a fact. In order to judge anything rightly, one would have to be fully aware of an inconceivably wide range of things; past, present and to come. One would have to recognize in advance all the effects of his judgments on everyone and everything involved in them in any way. And one would have to be certain there is no distortion in his perception, so that his judgment would be wholly fair to everyone on whom it rests now and in the future. Who is in a position to do this? Who except in grandiose fantasies would claim this for himself?

Journal
This is the paragraph that made all the difference in my life. When I read this paragraph, I understood that I have no business judging anything, not that I shouldn’t but that I can’t. I didn’t stop judging immediately, but I did start noticing when I was judging; I became willing not to judge. It felt strange to me at first, and I felt the ego’s objections very strongly. After all, how could I navigate the world without judging? Just crossing the street required a judgment of timing for safety’s sake.

So what I did was to take it in steps. My first step was to look at the judgments that seemed most obvious and with the most potential for harm. I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me in this, to point me to the ones He wanted me to look at, and then to correct my thinking about them. I began to notice when I was angry with someone, or resentful toward them, and realized I must have judged him. I would bring this judgment to the Holy Spirit and let Him reinterpret it for me.
I began to do this when I was unhappy about a situation. I would realize that I must have judged it, and so I would ask the Holy Spirit to take that judgment from my mind and to give me a correct judgment. Really, the only reason I decided it was bad was that I asked the ego what it meant. Do I really want the ego mind making decisions for me? So it wasn’t that hard to change my mind. The Holy Spirit knows everything and so can make a decision for me that will help and not harm.

This all sounds so simple and straight forward as I write about it, but while I was developing this new way of making decisions it was pretty messy. I would vacillate between judging with the ego and accepting the Holy Spirit’s judgment. I would balk at times, insisting I knew the right judgment. I would sometimes feel resentful to have lost this “right” to judge. But I trust Jesus and so I kept at it and the excellent results of giving judgment to the Holy Spirit convinced me this was the way to go.

At some point, I began to open more completely to the Holy Spirit, asking for guidance in all things. I began the process of learning to fully surrender to the One Who Knows. I went through the same messy process as I made this shift as well, but it wasn’t as hard because the Holy Spirit had already proved Itself to me. I had tasted the freedom of giving up a job that I was unprepared to do and letting it be done for me. Now, I was just extending that surrender and gaining more freedom.

I am still mastering this decision. I make mistakes and sometimes get pulled back into the old way of fumbling through the world without a clue. But there has been another shift for me even if it is not completely accepted yet. It is harder for me to explain. My trust is so much greater now that I have surrendered on a deeper level. I trust the Holy Spirit to decide for me most things, and I no longer think about each judgment.

In fact, the only time I notice judgment is when I have tried to do it on my own again. I change my mind as quickly as I can because I don’t want to go back to that insane way of living. I want to move forward, surrendering more and more of the ego until I am no longer struggling to live, but am being lived. That is not my experience yet, but it is closer to it than ever before.

The ego hates this idea of not being in charge of my life and recognizes its eventual demise if this keeps up and so it throws up objections and blocks, but this is a done deal. Now it is all just details. I practice surrender of that part of the mind and I experience living from my holy mind, and the ego begins to recede into background noise. Then something gets triggered and it’s loud and obnoxious again until I bring it to the Holy Spirit. Eventually, though, this will end. There is no doubt in my mind that the ego is on its way out because that is my truest desire.

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Manual for Teachers: 10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P2. 4-20-18

10. HOW IS JUDGMENT RELINQUISHED? P 2
2 It is necessary for the teacher of God to realize, not that he should not judge, but that he cannot. In giving up judgment, he is merely giving up what he did not have. He gives up an illusion; or better, he has an illusion of giving up. He has actually merely become more honest. Recognizing that judgment was always impossible for him, he no longer attempts it. This is no sacrifice. On the contrary, he puts himself in a position where judgment through him rather than by him can occur. And this judgment is neither “good” nor “bad.” It is the only judgment there is, and it is only one: “God’s Son is guiltless, and sin does not exist.”

Journal
This is one of my favorite passages from ACIM because it changed forever and for the better the way I live my life. Now, more often than not, I ask the Holy Spirit to decide for me. I am a wanderer, lost in a land not my own. I don’t know where I am or what anything here means. For, the longest time I have been like Moses wandering in the desert. For, the longest time I had no destination, only wanting the journey to be as safe and productive as I could make it, but not knowing how to do that, and often failing.

It is different now. I have discovered that I have a Guide who knows everything! This guide knows where I am going and how to get there. He knows how to help me avoid the perils and to extract myself from the pitfalls when I ignore His help. He decides for me whatever needs to be done. All I have to do is turn to Him and ask for help. He is ever with me, ready to help me as much as I will let Him, and to wait patiently when I fail to call on Him.

I often ask these questions now. What does this mean? What would You have me know about this? What is this for? What would you have me say and to whom? Where would you have me go? I ask Him to show me another way to perceive each uncomfortable situation. Instead of judging for myself, I wait and allow His judgment to come through me. I am grateful because He is never distracted by appearances and always shows me my innate innocence and that of everyone else.

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Study of Text, C 15: VII. The Needless Sacrifice, P 11. 4-19-18

VII. The Needless Sacrifice, P 11
11 The Holy Spirit cannot teach through fear. And how can He communicate with you, while you believe that to communicate is to make yourself alone? It is clearly insane to believe that by communicating you will be abandoned. And yet many do believe it. For they think their minds must be kept private or they will lose them, but if their bodies are together their minds remain their own. The union of bodies thus becomes the way in which they would keep minds apart. For bodies cannot forgive. They can only do as the mind directs.

Journal
In this paragraph Jesus is continuing to make the point that we are afraid to communicate with the Holy Spirit, afraid that if we share our mind with Him, we will lose it to Him. I remind myself that the Holy Spirit is representative of God and thus I have a fear of losing myself to God. A better way to say this is losing my self to God, and yes, I truly would lose that little self to Him.

Though I long to do just that, to let go of the little self completely and thus to know the uninterrupted bliss of oneness, I also know that I keep parts of the self separate and defended against God. There must still be fear of loss, fear of God, unconscious but there in my mind. Sigh.

Symbolic of this separation from God and part of the separation from God, is the separation from each other. I am much more in touch with the fear of sharing my mind with other aspects of my self, my brothers and sisters in time. I am pretty transparent, but I definitely shy away from the idea of sharing minds. I still feel too much guilt for total transparency.

And yet, if all minds were recognized as one and so were open to each other, there would never be misunderstandings. There would never be judgments or grievances because all would see the innocence beyond the actions and words, the fear that drove the behavior, and the yearning to be understood and accepted and loved.

Soon there would be no negative behavior because everyone would feel the love and connection they so deeply desire. And no one would ever again feel alone and lonely. Can you imagine a world like that? It would be a happy world in which we could enjoy our happy dream for a while before being lifted into God.

This cannot be achieved while we insist that we can “communicate” only through bodies, and really, what kind of communication is that while it is so limited. While our bodies are gathered and inadequate words are being exchanged and misunderstood, I don’t know you at all. I only know what I believe about you. No wonder we feel alone. There is not a single person in the world that knows our heart.

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