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Gentle Healing Journal Day 70. 12-13-18

Journal for Day 70
LESSON 66
My happiness and my function are one.

God gives me only happiness.
He has given my function to me.
Therefore my function must be happiness.

I fully accept this chain of logic. I have also witnessed the truth of it. As my commitment to my purpose has grown stronger, I am much happier than I ever have been in my life. I also find that I do not miss any of the other things I used to do in the hopes of finding happiness, so no sacrifice was asked of me. Nothing in the world is responsible for my happiness.

The ego wants me to think that my function here is to make decisions and win, basically. It thinks that things will make me happy and pushes its agenda. I remember when I was a sales person that I thought the best feeling in the world was getting a new customer and if I took my competitors customer that was a cherry on top.

What I quickly discovered is that what the ego gives, the ego takes away. The idea that I could take his customer left me open to the realization that he could do the same thing to me and so pleasure was quickly replaced by anxiety. My babies brought great joy and at the same time, great anxiety because what was given could be taken. This is typical ego.

What God offers is permanent happiness, happiness that does not vary or change in any way, and that does not come with a downside. What He gives is given completely and forever. If my happiness wavers it is because my dedication to my function wavered. This is a good way to stay on top of things. If I notice that I am not happy, I immediately look at my thoughts. What was I thinking that was not true?

Regina’s Tips on this lesson.
Every time you disengage from ego and bring your attention fully to the present, you are happy. You may make the mistake of thinking it was the fruit or candy (or hike or playing with your grandchildren, etc) that made you happy.

However, in actuality you are happy because you temporarily disengaged from ego, so there was nothing to block your natural state.

In the language of A Course in Miracles, the act of removing your attention from ego is called forgiveness. A Course in Miracles teaches that forgiveness is your function. Since disengaging from ego returns you to your natural state, our function (forgiveness) and happiness are one.

In order to see that this is true, pay attention to your experience. Notice that whenever you are not happy, there is a thought or story present that is driving your experience. Whenever you are happy, notice you are being present with your current experience and not caught up in ego ideas in that moment. By observing this in yourself, you will come to see that ego blocks happiness and happiness is natural when we are not lost in ego’s thoughts or perceptions.

My thoughts.
Regina, mentioned something I had not taken into consideration. She says that when I am disengaged from the ego, I am happy. This is because without the ego there is nothing to block my natural state, which is happiness. When I disengage from the ego this is forgiveness. I think her wording is helpful to my understanding.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 69. 12-11-18

Journal for Day 69
LESSON 65

My only function is the one God gave me.

I am fully committed to the function God gave me. I am the light of the world and the salvation of the world is my goal. Forgiveness is the way salvation is accomplished. In the past, I could not really see how I could save the world, but I accepted my function as best as I could because I trust Jesus.

Now I understand better. Every time I choose to forgive, the idea of forgiveness grows stronger in our mind. The idea of guilt grows weaker. As I continue to forgive, my mind becomes purified and I am prepared to awaken. Every time someone awakens, the mind is stronger. So, I am affecting everyone’s mind because everyone’s mind is part of the one mind.

It is not enough, though, that I forgive each time it occurs to me or every time I feel like it. It is not enough that I forgive most of the time. I must forgive every false idea that comes into my awareness. This is the way that I strengthen the idea that forgiveness is salvation and that it is the only way to salvation. It strengthens the idea that salvation is what we want. If I choose other goals, I am strengthening the idea that forgiveness is a good idea but not the only idea. I strengthen the idea that we can have illusion and Heaven.

Looking at my thoughts and paying attention to the emotional reaction to them, I see the goals I am holding onto that are in opposition to or a distraction to my only purpose.

I see the thought that someone dear to me is still vulnerable to depression and addiction and the emotion that I felt was anxiety. That means I have a goal other than forgiveness. I am recalling the vision I was given and I see myself as pure light aware of this situation and forgiving it because it is the only solution and my only purpose.

I want to lose weight and I want to be free of whatever thought it is that compels me to gain. The emotion I feel is uncertainty, and hesitation, so I don’t believe I can do it or I don’t want to let go of the underlying problem. Maybe I don’t want to look at it. Again, I recall the vision of light and this time I feel compassion as I forgive.

I overspent recently, and with the very tight budget I live with now, this is a problem. I am not obsessed with worry or anything, but I notice concern coming up from time to time and some anxiety around this problem. So this idea that I don’t know how I am going to pay that credit card off is another purpose other than forgiveness. But the solution, the only solution is forgiveness and I happily do so now. It will be interesting to see how this unfolds.

I can’t think of anything else right now.

Regina’s Tips for this lesson.
1 – Realizing total commitment to awakening by realizing truth is the only thing we really want.

2 – Seeing that mind’s thinking is filled with other goals & desires, which distract from our commitment to awakening.

As we’ve learned from both NTI Ephesians and The Code, the thoughts that show up in our mind and seem like our personal thoughts are not really ours. They are part of the code. They are made up by totality’s deluded fascination with the dream. As totality involves itself with dream-thoughts, more dream-thoughts become manifest. We experience those manufactured thoughts as ‘my thoughts’, but they aren’t what they appear to be. That means the goals imbedded in those thoughts are not ours either.

Ultimately, it also means that we are not the character/person those thoughts tell us we are. The entire thought-driven identification is a hoax.

My Thoughts
I understand that the thoughts in my mind are not my thoughts. They come from the Consciousness that we all share. This is why I am diligent to weaken the thoughts that are not true and to strengthen those that are. But it is also important to remember that if these are not my personal thoughts, the other goals I have enumerated are not mine either. They are just goals set by these random thoughts that I activated through my attention.

Knowing these goals are not “mine” makes it easier for me to let them go. I am not identifying with them now. It’s funny how different it feels when I think of it that way. When I thought that I must worry about my friend, it was hard to let it go. When I think that this is an idea that I noticed and decided to pay attention to, it is easier to release it.

This reminds me of what ACIM tells me. I can now ask for another way to see this. Or, staying with Regina’s language, I can allow a true thought to take its place. The only true thought is that of recognizing the hoax and choosing not to believe it. This leaves my mind clear so that I can know the truth.

Regina says it like this.
“My only function is the one God gave me.” That function is determining the difference between what is unreal and what I am, removing attention from what is unreal and abiding as myself. Ultimately, abiding as myself—being who I am—is my function.

As you look at thoughts today and tomorrow, try to see beyond the story being presented to the content of the thought. The content is the energy that the thought represents. Is it fear? Worry? Guilt? Unworthiness? Attack? Defense? Jealousy? Control? etc.

After you notice the content, ask yourself, “Is [content] what I want?” It will be easy to see it isn’t. Then you can genuinely go on to say, “This thought reflects a goal that is preventing me from accepting my function.”

My thoughts
I’ve looked at the content, the anxiety and doubt, the worry and fear. I know that I don’t want the content and so I can genuinely go on to say that this is a thought that reflects a goal that is preventing me from accepting my purpose of abiding as my true self. This is exactly the same as forgiving (undoing) the other goal and accepting my true purpose as my only goal.

Salvation is remembering the world is an illusion and my thoughts are maintaining it and so deciding to forgive all of that and be who I am.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 68. 12-10-18

Journal for Day 68
LESSON 64
Let me not forget my function.

Today’s idea is merely another way of saying “Let me not wander into temptation.”

The purpose of the world you see is to obscure your function of forgiveness, and provide you with a justification for forgetting it.

“…every time you choose whether or not to fulfil your function, you are really choosing whether or not to be happy.”

Seriously, my function is to save the world through forgiveness. I was given a vision of myself as a light being that stood in place as the world of time passed by me. When I would become aware of a false thought, or an image that represented untrue beliefs, I would through the power of God in me undo that error. It didn’t matter where I saw it, in myself or in another, in a person or a situation, if it was false, it was my responsibility to forgive it.  It was a simple and joyful occupation of my time here and absolutely necessary.

I understand my function and I accept it. I also am aware of the temptations that pull me away from it. Sometimes those temptations are the belief in guilt, sometimes it is the desire to ruminate about the past or speculate on the future. Other times it is the temptation to occupy myself with mindless entertainment. But I make a conscious decision to stop or at least limit that kind of thing. The more attention I give my function as the light of the world, the happier I am and so the more I want to complete my function.

Regina’s Tip for this lesson.

“Let not the form of the decision deceive you. Complexity of form does not imply complexity of content.” Every decision is one of fear or freedom. To let the mind seek for a solution is to choose the perception of fear. To watch and see how spontaneity unfolds is freedom. Fear hides being. Freedom reveals it.

My thoughts
Regina had several helpful tips but this is the one that attracted me. Sometimes the story grabs my attention and I get caught up in its apparent complexities and overlook the only thing that matters which is the belief behind the story, the content over form. An example might be the recent Kavanaugh story.

There was a lot of complexity in this issue and many people were deciding what was true and what it meant if it was true. The ego mind likes to have an opinion about everything and thinks its opinion is valuable, and that is a form of ego distraction. I read some of the articles and I noticed how it brought up a lot of distress for some women.

I had a few thoughts about it pass through my mind, but in this case, I saw the underlying content, which was fear. Fear showed up as rage and disgust and conflict. I felt compassion for everyone involved. At the same time, I saw the situation as an opportunity for healing for everyone involved, so I did not see it as a bad thing. I saw my part as weakening those thoughts by not giving them my attention or my belief. That is a form of forgiveness.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 67. 12-9-18

Journal for Day 67
LESSON 63
The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness.

“Accept no trivial purpose or meaningless desire in its place, or you will forget your function and leave the Son of God in hell.”

It is in my power to bring peace to all of the Sonship through my forgiveness.  What could possibly be more important than that? Is it more important that I be right? Is it more important that I be a success in the world? How about that I fulfill a dream of the perfect relationship? Could upholding the image I prefer to present to the world will be more important than bringing peace to every mind?

What do I put in the place of this function? Watching TV? Shopping? Visiting with friends? Projecting guilt onto others, accepting guilt as my due? Making plans on my own, playing the victim? Indulging fear? These are the kinds of things I have done in the past rather than accepting my function as the light of the world through forgiveness. Some of those I have left behind and the rest are going that way as quickly as I am able.

How do I save the world? By accepting salvation myself. As Jesus has told us, my only function is to accept the Atonement for myself.

Regina’s Tips for this lesson.
Regina wrote this: I have rewritten today’s lesson for me in order to have more motivating power for me. My lesson is:
The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness. I am the means God has appointed for the salvation of the world. I am purity, pure peace, pure love, truth unadulterated. That is my nature. My nature is realized through forgiveness.

As I look at this, I feel motivated. Each time I say it to myself, my heart opens. It is the right version of today’s lesson for me. Feel free to find the right version of today’s lesson for you. And then, let additional related thoughts come to you throughout the day.

My thoughts
I relate to forgiveness and to being the light of the world, and to be the salvation of the world. I relate to the fact that I am holy. So I think that the phrasing of todays prayer works for me.

The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness. I am the means God has appointed for the salvation of the world.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 66. 12-7-18

Journal for Day 66
LESSON 62
Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.

I have established in my own mind that I am the light of the world. This is not in question. I am dedicated to removing anything that dulls that light. And the way I do this is through forgiveness. There are several things that help me forgive, the first of which is understanding that forgiveness is undoing. When I forgive someone, I am not forgiving him or her for something they did, but for something they did not do. I forgive them the illusion of wrongdoing.

Another thing that helps me greatly, is to realize that I am the scriptwriter of this story of Myron and that includes everyone in it and ever situation that occurs in it. And, I am the interpreter of all things in this story. So how is it that anyone can be guilty of anything that I chose to experience?

“2 Illusions about yourself and the world are one. That is why all forgiveness is a gift to yourself.”

This body, this personality, this ego self that I sometimes still confuse as being myself is as much of an illusion as is the world around it. It is the same illusion taking a different form. This is why forgiveness is a gift to myself. It doesn’t really matter what I seem to be forgiving. I can forgive someone for attacking me with his or her words or I can forgive some pedophile I read about in the paper.

I can forgive my father for being an alcoholic, and I can forgive the policeman for giving me a ticket and the person shopping while sick and coughing all over me, and I can forgive myself for past behaviors. It’s all the same. I am actually forgiving an idea of separation, the image this idea takes is irrelevant. In other words, I am forgiving, thus, undoing the ego. So as I forgive you, I am forgiven. As I undo the illusion of you, the illusion of me is undone.

“For this attack must be replaced by forgiveness, so that thoughts of life may replace thoughts of death.”

The idea that my life is actually life is ridiculous. That is why I usually call it my story. It is a fantasy that was written to give me the best chance of undoing the belief in it and the desire for it. Since it is not actually life, we can call it thoughts of death. My purpose while I am here is to recognize the specific thoughts of death that are in my mind and replace them with thoughts of life, thoughts that bring joy and peace. If this fantasy I am living is a story of death, then the story I make with my true thoughts will allow me to get very close to reality, to Life.

*“3 Remember that in every attack you call upon your own weakness, while each time you forgive you call upon the strength of Christ in you.”

This is pretty clear. Every time I attack myself or anyone or anything, I reinforce my sense of weakness. Every time I forgive, I restore the strength of God to my awareness. As Jesus says, “It will remove all sense of weakness, strain and fatigue from your mind. It will take away all fear and guilt and pain.” I am as God created me and He created as an extension of Himself. In my creation God gave all of Himself. Attack thoughts are the reason that this is not apparent to me. The failure to forgive is what keeps me from remembering what I am.

Regina’s Tips for this lesson.
This is from her tips: If you notice your thinking patterns, and then sit down and contemplate what you see with inner wisdom, what type of thinking is helpful for you to focus on first? What type of thinking causes you the most unhappiness now? If you pick one genre of thought that causes unhappiness in you and begin by focusing forgiveness on that type of thought, you can make progress fairly quickly (in weeks or months) with one type of thinking. From that, you will increase forgiveness skills and you will see genuine results. You will have the actual experience of more freedom. This encouragement will increase both your willingness and confidence.

As you contemplate today’s workbook lesson, why not ask within, “Where shall I begin the process of forgiveness?” See if some genuine insight comes. If it does, begin this journey by practicing forgiveness with those thoughts with vigilance.

My thoughts
I don’t have any problem with forgiving others. When I notice an attack thought against another person or even against a situation, I am quick to let that go. I don’t see any value in holding onto it so I don’t hold onto it. The pattern that I still work on is guilt directed toward myself and even that is on the way out.

I do still work on fear thoughts. So I guess that is where I am going to focus my practice of forgiveness.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 65. 12-5-18

Journal for Day 65
LESSON 61
I am the light of the world.

“I am the light of the world. That is my only function. That is why I am here.”

For a long time, I would flinch at this statement. The self I was familiar with seemed to be a dismal failure at being the light of the world. But I kept going back to it, trying to absorb the fact that God knows me and so I must be wrong about myself. Eventually, I came to understand that my ego self is not the light of the world, but I am, and it is my purpose here to accept this function and to let that light shine so bright that the ego self becomes its shadow, still here, but insubstantial.

It is interesting that this is the lesson for today because in the wee hours this morning I woke up from a disturbing dream. The ego was asserting itself and it was not a pretty picture. I tried to stop thinking but that didn’t work. I tried to change the thoughts but that didn’t work. The ego would have me believe that I am this little self and that is all I will ever be. It is a nauseating feeling.

Finally, I thought to do the Sacred Heart meditation. That thought was opposed by the ego, saying that I was not worthy of being with Jesus. I hesitated for a few moments, but I have gone through these ego stubborn attempts to convince me that the truth is not true and while they are unpleasant and I still get entangled, I always throw them off. So I did the meditation and I asked Jesus for his help to see differently.

What he gave me was a visual that I have found helpful in the past and that I teach from myself. I first read about it in “In the World But Not of It.” It talks about the Self as a clear blue sky and the thoughts as clouds in the sky. I saw these thoughts in my mind as dark, foreboding clouds. But what I know is that clouds don’t stay and when they are gone, the clear blue sky is unchanged by their presence.

I sighed with relief knowing that ego thoughts do affect this story, but they do not affect me. This morning when I woke up, I was the same light of the world that I am meant to be and the temporary disturbance of the night before was meaningless. Those attempts by the ego to maintain itself as me don’t come all that often anymore, but they are vicious when they do. It’s good to see that even though they can briefly affect me, they cannot overcome me anymore.

From Regina’s Tips for this lesson.
What gives power to a thought and makes it seem meaningful? Can you see that it is your attention that makes a thought seem meaningful?

What causes an emotion like anger or jealousy to become manifest in your body? Can you see that attention on thought creates emotion? Can you see for yourself that your attention is an activating force?

Notice that you have freewill regarding where you place your attention/awareness.

My Thoughts
Last night while I was still affected by that disturbing dream and still not completely awake, I let my attention linger on the ego thoughts in my mind. That is where I was casting my attention and the more attention I gave those thoughts the more they seemed to take on a reality that was not actual. Thoughts can make a false reality that affects my experience even if it does not affect my reality. I will continue to be vigilant for where I cast my attention.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Gentle Healing Journal Day 64 12-4-18

Journal for Day 64
Lesson 60
1 (46) God is the Love in which I forgive.

It [forgiveness] will bring me near enough to Heaven that the Love of God can reach down to me and raise me up to Him.

This lesson has some essential information. For one thing, this is where I am told that God does not forgive because He never condemned. This is certainly not what religion teaches us. It seems to me that I had a hard time letting go of the idea that I need God’s forgiveness.

The next thing it tells us is that the blameless cannot blame. Did you know this before you learned it here? I didn’t. This was completely new information for me. So when I accept my innocence, I won’t see anything to forgive, but in the meantime, I must forgive in order to recognize that I am innocent.

I suppose this means that I must forgive myself and everyone else, including God, and then I will know myself as innocent. This is so important that Jesus ends this paragraph by telling me that it is through forgiveness that I am close enough to Heave that the Love of God can raise me up to Him. Forgiveness readies me for God to take the final step.

2 (47) God is the strength in which I trust.
It is the Love of God in which I forgive and it is His strength in which I trust. This is good news because if I were depending on my own strength, I would not do very well. I never actually forgave anything before I discovered ACIM and learned what true forgiveness entails. Even then, it took years of practicing ACIM before I felt the strength of God stirring in me to the degree that I was able to recognize His reflection on earth.

One of the most complete forgiveness experiences I had was with my ex-husband. I had held many grievances against him and I spent a year after we divorced watching my mind for thoughts that indicated a grievance and letting them be corrected. I then spent more time catching little thoughts that were not completely clean.

Finally, and I don’t know how long this took, but the job was complete. I didn’t need anything from him. I didn’t need him to change in any way. I wasn’t interested in the past and when some past thought came up, I didn’t feel any anger or resentment. It’s really hard to think of a way to describe this, but I absolutely knew this relationship was healed. I also know that I could not have done this with the ego.

3 (48) There is nothing to fear.
I long to experience the world that Jesus talks about in this lesson. He is clear that I am not seeing the world right now. He says that it will not look anything like what I IMAGINE I see now. So I am not seeing the world, I am imagining a world. The world loves me and blesses me. In the world I will recognize in everyone my dearest Friend.

Do you notice that Friend is capitalized? Capitalized words in the Course indicate Divinity. So I think this means that everyone I look at I will see as the Christ. So of course, there will be nothing to fear and since that world exists now, there is nothing to fear now. It is only in my imagination that there is something to fear.

4 (49) God’s Voice speaks to me all through the day.

“There is not a moment in which His Voice fails to direct my thoughts, guide my actions and lead my feet.”

This guidance is going on all the time. Sometimes I am listening and sometimes I am not. I don’t pray for guidance so much as I pray for the good sense to listen to guidance. LOL. May I hear Your Voice speak to me all through the day.

5 (50) I am sustained by the Love of God.
God’s Love, God’s Voice, God’s strength, I am sustained by Him. It is His Love through which I forgive and His Vision through which I see. I am in God and He is in me. I love God and He loves me. I belong to God. As I let go of everything that is not God I will remember that I am His Son.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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