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Gentle Healing Lesson 181, Text, Manual for Teachers. 12-30-19

Introduction to Lessons 181 - 200
“And so we start our journey beyond words by concentrating first on what impedes your progress still. Experience of what exists beyond defensiveness remains beyond achievement while it is denied. It may be there, but you cannot accept its presence. So we now attempt to go past all defenses for a little while each day. No more than this is asked, because no more than this is needed. It will be enough to guarantee the rest will come.”

By this time in the lessons, a lot of work toward sorting out the valuable from the valueless and making a decision to discard what is not valuable has been achieved. But there is more work to be done on this front. Every time I think there is nothing I would not release, I come across another idea that grabs my attention. The difference now is that I am certain I want to find these beliefs and look at them with the Holy Spirit. I am certain that I will release them. And, I never waste time feeling guilty about them anymore.

This happened to me the other day at a group meeting in which forgiveness was the topic of discussion. Someone talked about a relationship that had been completely healed and the situation in the relationship triggered something in me. I had this thought, How could she forgive that?” My next thought was, “Holy cow, where did that come from???” I was, frankly, shocked. I had no idea that thought was in my mind. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had any hesitation to forgive. Finding that thought is like mining for gold and hitting the motherlode.

I have been working on this idea with the Holy Spirit. I have asked to see the source of the issue, looking for the root cause. Again, using the metaphor of mining for gold, I see myself as a prospector with a sieve like in old westerns. I’m bent over the river of my thoughts shaking my sieve, letting most of the mind chatter flow through but catching a few of the more relevant thoughts. Then I pick through them until I put together a picture of the problem with its different elements.

Once that is done, I ask the Holy Spirit for clarity and for direction in how to see this situation differently. Talking to a friend this morning, I am sharing my process with her and she says something that is very helpful and another piece of the puzzle falls into place. I notice a fear thought hiding in my mind, the fear that complete forgiveness will leave me vulnerable. There, finally, is the last piece falling into place. Now, my work is done and I am ready to release the belief as I see it. I release it and my Holy Self takes it from there leaving me with a profound sense of peace.

Regina’s Tips
The introduction to lessons 181 – 200 setup our goals for the next 20 days.

Widen the horizons of our vision
Take direct approaches to uncover the blocks that keep our vision narrow
Lift those blocks, however briefly, in order to experience the sense of liberation that comes when the blocks are removed
Intensify our motivation for freedom

It is good to pause before beginning lesson 181 to ask ourselves if we will accept these goals as our goals. We are not asked to add these goals to the list of goals that we have already set for ourselves. We are asked to change our minds about our goals. Are we willing to see the goals we had previously set for ourselves as unimportant, and adopt these goals as our only goals now?

My Thoughts
Clearly, I have accepted these goals as my own. I still do the things I need to do in this place of time and space. But none of that is a goal I have. My only goal is to wake up from all belief in this illusion. Everything that helps with this has my highest priority.

LESSON 181
I trust my brothers, who are one with me.

“Trusting your brothers is essential to establishing and holding up your faith in your ability to transcend doubt and lack of sure conviction in yourself.”

Jesus starts off by telling us that if we are going to have faith in ourselves, we must have faith in our brothers. If we believe in their limits we will believe in ours, in their sins, we will believe we can sin, too. Lack of faith in them blocks our faith in ourselves. We will not know our Self if we are unwilling to know that they are not their mistakes. To reinforce this, Jesus says this: “Remove your focus on your brother’s sins, and you experience the peace that comes from faith in sinlessness. …For their mistakes, if focused on, are witnesses to sins in you.”

With this in mind we will be spiritually self-centered today. We want to see our brother sinless so that we can become aware of our own sinlessness. Jesus says this: “Therefore, in practicing today, we first let all such little focuses give way to our great need to let our sinlessness become apparent. … We seek for innocence and nothing else. We seek for it with no concern but now.”

I like this focus. I think of someone that I have had a disagreement with in the past. I focus on this person without that past interaction in my mind, nor do I think of anything that could happen in the future. My only concern is my relationship with her right now. Jesus says that I have been dismayed by the depressing and restricting thought that, even if I should succeed, I will inevitably lose my way again.

Then he says this:

5 How could this matter? For the past is gone; the future but imagined. These concerns are but defenses against present change of focus in perception. Nothing more.

What a freeing thought that is! Letting go of any thought of the past or the future feels so right. Without the past, I cannot judge my brother and without the future I cannot judge myself. I can just allow the miracle occur. It is not a lie that my brother is sinless. The lie is that his ego sins are real and have real effects. Without that lie, the truth of his innocence becomes obvious and mirrors my own.

And from Regina: We look neither ahead nor backwards, because there we will find the goals we had previously set. We look straight into the present, because that is where we find awareness-life-presence. It is here right now.

Manual for Teachers
4. WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF GOD’S TEACHERS?
1 The surface traits of God’s teachers are not at all alike. They do not look alike to the body’s eyes, they come from vastly different backgrounds, their experiences of the world vary greatly, and their superficial “personalities” are quite distinct. Nor, at the beginning stages of their functioning as teachers of God, have they as yet acquired the deeper characteristics that will establish them as what they are. God gives special gifts to His teachers, because they have a special role in His plan for Atonement. Their specialness is, of course, only temporary; set in time as a means of leading out of time. These special gifts, born in the holy relationship toward which the teaching-learning situation is geared, become characteristic of all teachers of God who have advanced in their own learning. In this respect they are all alike.

Jesus says God’s teachers don’t look alike and that their personalities are distinct. That caught my attention because when I first started studying the Course, I thought His teachers would be perfect in their outward appearance. I don’t mean looks of course, but I thought they would act like they were already awake, and it was confusing for me when that didn’t happen. In fact, it seems that many of them have lots of personality flaws.

I had to learn to not confuse the messenger with the message, and of course, it was an opportunity to practice forgiveness and look at my desire to judge. I would not be able to take my place among the teachers of God until I let go of this mistaken belief because I would never live up to my own standards and so would never feel worthy.

I used to think that the special gifts Jesus speaks of are things like being able to channel and scribe, or to be good at teaching or maybe to be a good writer. And maybe that is true, I don’t know. But I wonder if Jesus is pointing to something deeper than that when he says this:

These special gifts, born in the holy relationship toward which the teaching-learning situation is geared, become characteristic of all teachers of God who have advanced in their own learning.

I think what he means is that they have taken on the characteristics that he is going to share with us in this section. I’m not suggesting that his teachers are given these characteristics, but that they have achieved them through their own learning.

Text
XI. Christmas as the End of Sacrifice P 8
T-15.XI.8. Let no despair darken the joy of Christmas, for the time of Christ is meaningless apart from joy. 2 Let us join in celebrating peace by demanding no sacrifice of anyone, for so you offer me the love I offer you. 3 What can be more joyous than to perceive we are deprived of nothing? 4 Such is the message of the time of Christ, which I give you that you may give it and return it to the Father, Who gave it to me. 5 For in the time of Christ communication is restored, and He joins us in the celebration of His Son’s creation.

Journal
I felt like Christmas was indeed the time of Christ this year. It was a joyful time for me, surrounded by loving family, giving and receiving gifts as symbols of our love. There was an instance of a family member misunderstanding something I said, and I was momentarily shocked. But I quickly realized that it was just a projection from his conflicted mind and I let it pass. Before he left, we were both able to laugh at the situation. I am in gratitude that it didn’t disturb the joy in my heart as it once would have. I didn’t feel tempted to demand a sacrifice of him in the form of an apology. I didn’t need him to restore my innocence through a demand that he understand what I meant. I trusted that love would heal all wounds.

It does make me think about communication. Jesus tells us that in the time of Christ (which is not just at Christmas, of course) communication is restored. If I had needed to hash this problem out, it might have worked or it might have created a greater rift in the relationship. That is the problem with communicating with words and with personal need driving the attempt at communication. The intention of love and acceptance and knowing the innocence of everyone involved is a form of sharing and joining doesn’t hold the possibility of more misunderstandings. It is much closer to true communication.

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Gentle Healing Lesson 180, Text, Manual for Teachers. 12-23-19

Gentle Healing Lesson 180

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

1 (169) By grace I live. By grace I am released.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

2 (170) There is no cruelty in God and none in me.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

Grace is acceptance of the Love of God within a world of seeming hate and fear. By grace alone the hate and fear are gone, for grace presents a state so opposite to everything the world contains, that those whose minds are lighted by the gift of grace can not believe the world of fear is real. P 2

All of the study and practice that make up my life are the way I prepare for grace, the way I prepare my mind to accept this gift. But neither the study nor the practice transforms my mind. No amount of logical thinking can show me a world without fear. It is the grace of God that does this for me. How else could I ever see this world as it truly exists except by accepting the Love of God right here, right now, in this world of time and space, right in the midst of separation with all its fearful effects.

Manual for Teachers
3. WHAT ARE THE LEVELS OF TEACHING? P 5
5 The third level of teaching occurs in relationships, which, once they are formed, are lifelong. These are teaching-learning situations in which each person is given a chosen learning partner who presents him with unlimited opportunities for learning. These relationships are generally few, because their existence implies that those involved have reached a stage simultaneously in which the teaching-learning balance is actually perfect. This does not mean that they necessarily recognize this; in fact, they generally do not. They may even be quite hostile to each other for some time, and perhaps for life. Yet should they decide to learn it, the perfect lesson is before them and can be learned. And if they decide to learn that lesson, they become the saviors of the teachers who falter and may even seem to fail. No teacher of God can fail to find the Help he needs.

Like many people, my lifelong relationships have been with family. I have a different relationship with each of them and while overall, they are good, sometimes the relationships have been challenging. My relationships with my children have offered me the richest opportunities for healing and I am grateful for that even though at times it has been painful. As Jesus indicates, the perfect teaching relationships are not always the most comfortable. One good thing about your children is that you can’t divorce them so you have to find a way to release any grievances and guilt.

They may even be quite hostile to each other for some time, and perhaps for life.

When I read this sentence, I thought of my maternal grandparents. This was the relationship they had. There was a lot of hostility between them for as long as I knew them. They lived in a time, though, where divorce was uncommon, and I know my grandmother would never be able to take care of herself even if she would ever consider divorce.

At one time, I might have thought that it was sad to be stuck in a relationship that was not happy and loving. Now though, I see that it was a perfect relationship for what they came to work on. Jesus tells us that everything is in our best interests and what I have seen is that the situation can be something we want, but sometimes it is simply something we need. They had the relationship they needed.

Text

XI. Christmas as the End of Sacrifice P 7

T-15.XI.7. In the holy instant the condition of love is met, for minds are joined without the body’s interference, and where there is communication there is peace. 2 The Prince of Peace was born to re-establish the condition of love by teaching that communication remains unbroken even if the body is destroyed, provided that you see not the body as the necessary means of communication. 3 And if you understand this lesson, you will realize that to sacrifice the body is to sacrifice nothing, and communication, which must be of the mind, cannot be sacrificed. 4 Where, then, is sacrifice? 5 The lesson I was born to teach, and still would teach to all my brothers, is that sacrifice is nowhere and love is everywhere. 6 For communication embraces everything, and in the peace it re-establishes, love comes of itself.

Journal
One of the reasons we grieve when someone close to us dies is because they feel lost to us at least until we join them. Jesus is reminding us that true communication does not depend on the body. In fact, I am sure that using words is probably the hardest way to communicate since it is so easy to be misunderstood when we talk to each other. I am learning that there is a better way to communicate.

As my mind has healed more and more, I have seen that the love which is naturally communicated when there is nothing blocking its extension needs no words. It is felt by anyone even a little open to it. People I don’t even know respond with a smile as I pass them by. My relationships are more loving without any real change that you can see. I feel a connection to Jesus that is more loving and clearer than ever before. When I do communicate with words, the words that are most helpful just come to me. The only time this type of communication is broken or limited is when my mind becomes preoccupied with the story. This seems to block true communication.

Because the only real use of the body is for communication while we are here and communication mind to mind is limited, loss of the body is not a real sacrifice as we have thought before. I have been experimenting with this. My mom died a few years ago and I have been having conversations with her. I sometimes use words but I don’t hear words from her. What I do experience is love and the love is purer than it was when she was embodied and we had more life stuff blocking the expression of love. While mom was here, our relationship was sometimes difficult and we didn’t always communicate in the best way, but now our relationship is simple and peaceful and more loving than ever. I think this is what Jesus is telling us.

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Gentle Healing Lesson 178, Text, Manual for Teachers. 12-17-19

LESSON 179

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

1 (167) There is one life, and that I share with God.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

2 (168) Your grace is given me. I claim it now.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

My heart goes to the idea of grace. I looked up the meaning in Kenneth Wapnicks glossary. It says this:

Our natural state as spirit, awareness of which returns to us when we complete our lessons of forgiveness; an aspect of God’s Love in this world, past learning for it cannot be taught, but the goal of learning, for all lessons point to its love.

I then looked in the Course itself for meaning.

Grace as it applies to the Atonement

The lamb “taketh away the sins of the world” in the sense that the state of innocence, or grace, is one in which the meaning of the Atonement is perfectly apparent. T-3.I.6

And so, in this reference to grace we are told that the state of innocence is synonymous with grace, and it is our state of innocence (grace) that undoes the idea of sin.

Grace as it applies to forgiveness

The grace of God rests gently on forgiving eyes, and everything they look on speaks of Him to the beholder. T-25. VI.1

This seems to say to me that it is grace that we are able to see with forgiving eyes, grace that speaks of God to the one who looks with forgiving eyes.

Grace as it applies to healing

Grace is not given to a body, but to a mind. And the mind that receives it looks instantly beyond the body, and sees the holy place where it was healed. There is the altar where the grace was given, in which it stands. Do you, then, offer grace and blessing to your brother, for you stand at the same altar where grace was laid for both of you. And be you healed by grace together, that you may heal through faith. T-19. I.13

First, we are to understand that grace is given to heal the mind, not the body. It then tells us that the mind that receives it looks instantly beyond the body. I have noticed that since I stopped asking for the healing of the body, and instead asked for healing of the mind which is the source of either sickness or health, that usually, the healing of the body occurred fairly quickly. That makes sense because if you heal the source you can expect the manifestation to change. Sometimes that does not happen and I think it is probably because of circumstances within the script of which we are not aware. But while we are experiencing the body it seems to matter to us a great deal, in reality, what matters is the healing of the mind.

The next thing we are told about grace in reference to healing is that it is our function here to offer grace to our brother. It is emphasized that we are healed by grace and that this is done together with our brother. Further, he says that healing through grace, we are healed through faith.

Those who are healed become the instruments of healing. Nor does time elapse between the instant they are healed, and all the grace of healing it is given them to give. L 137. 11

Again, we see that healing is by grace, and it is emphasized that it is to be given by those who receive.

Grace and the holy instant

And now we ask for grace, the final gift salvation can bestow. Experience that grace provides will end in time, for grace foreshadows Heaven, yet does not replace the thought of time but for a little while. Lesson 169. 12-14

Grace, like the Atonement and miracles are only useful to us while we are still in time. Once grace has blessed us and we are released, it will no longer exist. Jesus says it is the final gift salvation can bestow.

Here is a way I see grace in my life. I had to tell someone something they didn’t want to hear. I felt uneasy long after the situation was resolved. This is not a one-off. I often have this reaction even on things that hardly matter. So, what I needed was a holy instant. I asked for grace to see this differently, not just this one situation, but the idea of fear of confrontation so that no situation causes this for me again.

I sat in silence waiting to see what came up. I was shown my fear of rejection, abandonment, and unworthiness and how that was causing the distress I always feel in any situation that is even a little confrontational. I have already moved past acting on these feelings, but I want to be free of them all together so I asked for more.

I was shown how this is just a repetition of the moment of separation in which I told myself that God had rejected me and abandoned me because my desire for a different experience made me unworthy. I was shown, again (because this is not the first time) how everything here in time is just that one moment repeating over and over in different ways so that we can decide each time whether we want to keep doing this or release those foolish thoughts.

Now that I see the situation clearly and understand why it is happening, and now that I have fully experienced the distress of believing these ideas, I am ready to receive the grace of forgiveness in this holy instant. I can’t think about it past this because thought has nothing to do with grace or healing. I have nothing to do with this part.

There are many other ways in which grace shows up and many ways it applies to our lives. I have to stop now but I am going to continue to look at grace as I am able. This was a profitable use of my time.

Manual for Teachers
3. WHAT ARE THE LEVELS OF TEACHING? P 4
4 Each teaching-learning situation is maximal in the sense that each person involved will learn the most that he can from the other person at that time. In this sense, and in this sense only, we can speak of levels of teaching. Using the term in this way, the second level of teaching is a more sustained relationship, in which, for a time, two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate. As with the first level, these meetings are not accidental, nor is what appears to be the end of the relationship a real end. Again, each has learned the most he can at the time. Yet all who meet will someday meet again, for it is the destiny of all relationships to become holy. God is not mistaken in His Son.

A lot has changed for me since I first wrote about this paragraph, but I am keeping it the same as before because it is a good example of what Jesus is talking about here. Since I wrote it, all these past relationships have been healed.

Hah! Two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate. That sounds exactly like my marriages. I was Catholic at the time of my first divorce. The priest said I would no longer be allowed to teach Catechism or receive the sacraments. I was very angry with God for about a year, but I’ve since forgiven Him. ~smile~

I experienced a lot of shame at not being able to sustain a marriage relationship and a lot of guilt. But Jesus tells us here that the relationships we have are deliberate. We don’t just form relationships accidentally and we get as much from the relationship as we are both able to at the time. That is a very comforting thing for me to know. Divorce was not a sin or even a failure. We learned what we could and then we separated, which when put like that, makes perfect sense. Why would we remain together if there was nothing else for us to gain from the relationship?

Jesus also tells us that all relationships are destined to become holy, so these aborted relationships will be fulfilled at some time. A part of my mind is relieved at this. I am here to save the world through forgiveness, and it would be disturbing to think I passed up a chance to do so and now it is too late. But another part of my mind holds the memories of all that went wrong in these relationships and really doesn’t want to go there again.  Holy Spirit, could you speak to me about this?

Holy Spirit: The memories you speak of are the memories of your judgments of what happened. As your mind is healed, the judgments and the desire to judge will fall away, and so will the pain and suffering. Your experience of the situation will be very different, indeed, as you see the one before you as he is rather than as you have thought you needed him to be. You have had some experience with this already, have you not?

Me: Yes, actually I have. I have seen the anger fall away as I forgave my last husband for all I thought he was guilty. I was surprised, too, that as I forgave myself for the mistakes I thought I made, it was simple to forgive him. It seemed a lot of the anger I directed towards him was just the projection of my guilt onto him. When I forgave myself, I didn’t need him to be guilty.

Oh, I see. That is what you mean when you say the experience will be very different when I see him as he is rather than as I thought I needed him to be. I still don’t want to return to that relationship, and there are others that I dread the thought of returning to.

Holy Spirit: Yes, these are the parts of the relationships that remain unforgiven, or to say it differently, that you are still judging. Continue the work you are doing now as you practice forgiveness. When you next meet your brother you will welcome him with a loving heart unburdened by judgment.

Me: This is hard for me to imagine in some cases, but I know this is just a measure of my desire to judge, and judgment is the cause of my fear, not the actual situation or person. I will gladly continue my practice.

Text
XI. Christmas as the End of Sacrifice P 6
T-15.XI.6. So is it that, in all your seeking for love, you seek for sacrifice and find it. 2 Yet you find not love. 3 It is impossible to deny what love is and still recognize it. 4 The meaning of love lies in what you have cast outside yourself, and it has no meaning apart from you. 5 It is what you prefer to keep that has no meaning, while all that you would keep away holds all the meaning of the universe, and holds the universe together in its meaning. 6 Unless the universe were joined in you it would be apart from God, and to be without Him is to be without meaning.

Journal
Everyone wants love but instead of love what we find is sacrifice. This is because we don’t understand love. We think it is about compromise and bargains and loss. Some people become so discouraged that they give up on love thinking love is the problem when it is their thoughts that are causing them distress.

Love is so very different than what we have thought it was. Love is God and God is all there is. Love is what we are and what everything is because nothing is outside of God and that means nothing is outside Love. It is the meaning of the universe and what holds the universe together.

This sentence gave me pause: 6 Unless the universe were joined in you it would be apart from God, and to be without Him is to be without meaning. We are joined with each other and with the universe. Have you ever thought of that? I wonder if the universe as referred to here is different than we see it. Is the universe a collection of planets and stars and moons etc. as we think of it, or is it simply infinite potential that Love forms in whatever way it wants to?

The universe is definitely something and it is joined in us and in God (Love) because otherwise, it would be meaningless, and this tells us that we are in God and so we are meaningful. The next time you think that you are less than keep this in mind. You are in God and nothing in God is less than. You are Love Itself and so you can never be less than. When you think you are without love, remember that you can never be unlovable and can never be outside love. The universe is in you. You are magnificent. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g4d-rnhuSg

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Gentle Healing Lesson 178, Text, Manual for Teachers. 12-12-19

LESSON 178

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

1 (165) Let not my mind deny the Thought of God.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

2 (166) I am entrusted with the gifts of God.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

Regina said something in a tip from an earlier lesson. She said: “…from NTI Ephesians, Colossians and Luke 9: As we contemplate our truth, the clean energy of our truth goes into the world as grace. As grace, it will do what it does to correct misperceptions and miscreation.”

I think this is the most important thing I can do in the world. I keep my focus on who I really am, on the Self. I remember that I am not the illusion of this body/personality that I seem to be. I remember that beneath that mask, I am Love Itself. As I do this, I also allow my Higher Self to guide me as to what I am to do in the world when there is something that must be done. From a consistent practice of remembering that I am Love, my mind is open and receptive to any guidance I receive.

I am, in union with my brothers, the Thought of God. It is not enough to say that I am the Thought of God if I am going to deny it through my thoughts, words, and actions. When I follow thoughts into a story and I find myself angry or resentful or any of the other emotional states that the story calls for, my mind is denying the Thought of God. That is why I am vigilant for my thoughts. When I see that I am interested in one and it is taking me into the virtual world again, I stop it quickly before I am too deeply into the story. If I fail to do that, I let the story go as soon as I can.

Manual for Teachers
3. WHAT ARE THE LEVELS OF TEACHING? Paragraph 3
3 It is difficult to understand that levels of teaching the universal course is a concept as meaningless in reality as is time. The illusion of one permits the illusion of the other. In time, the teacher of God seems to begin to change his mind about the world with a single decision, and then learns more and more about the new direction as he teaches it. We have covered the illusion of time already, but the illusion of levels of teaching seems to be something different. Perhaps the best way to demonstrate that these levels cannot exist is simply to say that any level of the teaching-learning situation is part of God’s plan for Atonement, and His plan can have no levels, being a reflection of His Will. Salvation is always ready and always there. God’s teachers work at different levels, but the result is always the same.

I have an incomplete understanding of time; I know that it does not exist as I experience it, but eternity is beyond my grasp so I let that alone. I stayed confused about levels within the illusion for a long time. I used to think of those chance encounters as small and so not important. And I used to think of the relationships with my friends and children and coworkers as being more important because they seem to impact me in a stronger way.

My work seemed to be different in some relationships than in others, that is, the level of work required for some relationships may be more intense, but the healing is equal and this is how they are all the same. It takes a slight shift in perception to understand this.

I think of the old adage, you can’t be a little bit pregnant. Well, you can’t have a little peace. You are either peaceful or not. Love is not divided into categories and levels in spite of our mistaken beliefs about it. And your salvation doesn’t come in part, it is whole in each instance or it is not salvation.

When I smiled at the woman who gave me a paper towel and she smiled at me, it was fully a holy encounter, complete in itself. Salvation had come. It was just as complete and important as the moment in which I completely forgave my ex-husband and myself and our relationship. The smile took only a moment and no struggle at all. My forgiveness lesson with my marriage took years and hard work and so it seemed bigger and more important. But love is love and the difference is illusory.

As I think of this, I envision myself looking each person I interact with right in the eye, and giving him my loving attention for whatever brief moment we meet. This person like many that I have, in the past dismissed as unimportant, is the Son of God. I envision today meeting each seeming attack, big or small, with love. I see myself pausing for inspiration when unsure what to say, and especially if my immediate thought is to defend myself. Every moment holds the potential for salvation and I will not forget that.

This weekend was one of leisure as I visited with a friend and so I am a bit behind in my writing and calls. I have not even finished my time with Spirit yet, and already my mind has strayed to the busy day ahead. Before I read this paragraph, it seemed like today would be about catching up. Now I understand that today is about holy encounters with my brothers.

Text

XI. Christmas as the End of Sacrifice P 5
T-15.XI.5. As long as you perceive the body as your reality, so long will you perceive yourself as lonely and deprived. 2 And so long will you also perceive yourself as a victim of sacrifice, justified in sacrificing others. 3 For who could thrust Heaven and its Creator aside without a sense of sacrifice and loss? 4 And who could suffer sacrifice and loss without attempting to restore himself? 5 Yet how could you accomplish this yourself, when the basis of your attempts is the belief in the reality of the deprivation? 6 Deprivation breeds attack, being the belief that attack is justified. 7 And as long as you would retain the deprivation, attack becomes salvation and sacrifice becomes love.

Journal

If we become sick and we believe the sickness is about the body (and we will believe it is about the body if we believe we are the body) we will feel deprived and will suffer. We will feel resentful and angry. We will blame (attack) others who we imagine made us sick with their germs. Or we will blame (attack) God who we think is punishing us for our sins. This way of thinking applies to any sense of deprivation, lack of money, lack of love, of friends, of mental health, or purpose. Lack is lack regardless of the form it takes.

To believe we are a body is a way of saying that we are separate from God and that belief is painful. We know that this is not normal and that makes it scary. Why are we lacking anything? On some level, we know that we are not supposed to be separate from All That Is, and to feel like we are terrifies us. This is why we go straight to projection, trying to find someone to blame, anyone but ourselves.

I don’t do this anymore, but I remember when I did. I remember the confusion and feeling alone in my sickness. Recently, I was sick and this body was suffering like crazy. While I was very aware of the suffering of the body and for a couple of days that was my world, I was never confused about it. I never thought it was anyone’s fault and I never thought of it as a punishment or that it had anything to do with God. My only question was, “What is this for?” What am I to learn from this? I am grateful for this healing of my mind.

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Gentle Healing Lesson 177, Text, Manual for Teachers. 12-01-19

LESSON 177

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

1 (163) There is no death. The Son of God is free.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

2 (164) Now are we one with Him Who is our Source.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

I think these two lessons go together very well. When we consider that death is the ego and the knowledge that we are not the ego sets us free, that makes it possible to know that we are one with our Source. It can be no other way. We cannot know we are one with God while we believe we are the ego. We cannot know we are Life while we still believe in death.

How does one let go of the belief in death? Find a path out of the belief and stick to it. Study it, practice it, be vigilant for it.

Relax in it, letting faith and trust smooth your way through it. Question every thought discarding those that don’t reflect truth. Never judge yourself or others. Never allow guilt to enter into the process. Never give up.

Keep your mind open and receptive to a Higher Source. Quickly discard your own plans when that Source moves you to another better plan. Be surrendered to your Guide so that you can be easily moved.

Before you know it, you will become aware of your Self living you. Even if it is only briefly, it is enough to create a strong desire to allow awakening to that way of living. At least this has been my experience so far. It is becoming more and more consistent as I practice it.

Manual for Teachers

3. WHAT ARE THE LEVELS OF TEACHING? Paragraph 2
2 The simplest level of teaching appears to be quite superficial. It consists of what seem to be very casual encounters; a “chance” meeting of two apparent strangers in an elevator, a child who is not looking where he is going running into an adult “by chance,” two students “happening” to walk home together. These are not chance encounters. Each of them has the potential for becoming a teaching-learning situation. Perhaps the seeming strangers in the elevator will smile to one another; perhaps the adult will not scold the child for bumping into him; perhaps the students will become friends. Even at the level of the most casual encounter, it is possible for two people to lose sight of separate interests, if only for a moment. That moment will be enough. Salvation has come.

I have become hyper-aware of those simple moments that offer a chance for salvation. Like most people, I used to think that they were unimportant and that they meant little. Now, I understand that salvation lies in many small moments linked together. Sometimes the other isn’t even there with me but I don’t see that it matters.

Yesterday, I watched one granddaughter in a parade and the other granddaughter scrambling to pick up the candy thrown to the children. Eleanor would stop once in a while to eat a piece of the candy and would drop the wrapper on the ground next to our chairs. When it was time to go, I gathered all the papers to throw away.

If I had not done this, someone else would have and I didn’t want to add to that person’s workload. This was a moment in which I did not lose sight of our separate interests so it was a moment of salvation. The papers were sticky and I was looking for something to put them in to carry back to the car.

A family next to us had a roll of paper towels so I asked if I could have one. I explained that I hated sticky fingers and we smiled at each other and shared a moment in which we were on the same page with no interests that separated us. It was a holy encounter, one more link in the chain of the Atonement that is taking us home.

Text
XI. Christmas as the End of Sacrifice P 4
T-15.XI.4. You who believe that sacrifice is love must learn that sacrifice is separation from love. 2 For sacrifice brings guilt as surely as love brings peace. 3 Guilt is the condition of sacrifice, as peace is the condition for the awareness of your relationship with God. 4 Through guilt you exclude your Father and your brothers from yourself. 5 Through peace you invite them back, realizing that they are where your invitation bids them be. 6 What you exclude from yourself seems fearful, for you endow it with fear and try to cast it out, though it is part of you. 7 Who can perceive part of himself as loathsome, and live within himself in peace? 8 And who can try to resolve the “conflict” of Heaven and hell in him by casting Heaven out and giving it the attributes of hell, without experiencing himself as incomplete and lonely?

Journal

I used to believe that love demanded sacrifice and lived that belief. This showed up in so many ways. My husbands were supposed to sacrifice their desire to be with others, to spend time away from me, to spend money on frivolous things rather than the family, just to name a few. I called this love.

This desire to control and manipulate for my own desires above theirs’s caused me to feel guilty without really even understanding where the guilt came from. And when they failed to comply, I made them guilty of not loving me enough or not living up to the unspoken agreement. I’m sure they had their own list of sacrifices they expected from me in the name of love.

Living like this, believing that love is sacrifice inevitably leads to war. Sometimes it is a quiet little war that eats away at the relationship a nibble at a time until there is no sign of the original impulse to love and connect. Sometimes a concord is established between them in an attempt to bring peace and harmony back to the relationship. This is a pale reflection of the love that is actually desired, and is unstable because the seeds of conflict remain in the heart.

I watch my mind very closely now for signs that I am asking for sacrifice. Even the merest desire that someone give of themselves in order to make me happy is undone as soon as it forms. I want no guilt in my relationships because guilt is the destroyer of relationships. It can be something as simple as wishing my daughter would invite me to supper.

I question that thought relentlessly until I get to the truth that my happiness is not my daughter’s job and that to think so is to ask for separation and suffering. You can’t really love someone you push away with guilt. Agreements in which sacrifices are traded is not love and will only erode the existing love.

Love has expanded in my life since I decided to join rather than separate at every opportunity. Union, not separation is love. If I need something, I give it to myself rather than asking someone else to do it for me. Actually, if possible, I give what I want to receive. So instead of resenting not being invited for dinner, I have invited someone to come eat with me.

When I used to be in resentment, I made the other party guilty and pushed them away. This was the making of a hell in which I felt incomplete and lonely. When I learned differently, and I took responsibility for my own happiness, I felt compelled to share that happiness and so included others and that is the making of a heavenly life in which I am joined with many and this feeling of completion is experienced in relation to God as well.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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