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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-8-12

7-8-12
3 There is no definition for a lie that serves to make it true. Nor can there be a truth that lies conceal effectively. The ego’s unreality is not denied by words nor is its meaning clear because its nature seems to have a form. Who can define the undefinable? And yet there is an answer even here.

In spite of what Jesus is telling me in this section, that the ego is nothing, my thinking mind longed for a definition. It insisted on naming and defining because that is what the mind does. It is the way it makes separation. It pieces off from the whole, gives it a name, creates illusional boundaries and says, “There. I have created this thing and made it real.” It’s a joke.

The ego remains nothing and cannot be given substance through my insistence that it exist. Giving it form did not make it real. I made bodies and trees, and all manner of form and gave myself seeing instead of vision, and said, “See, it must be real. There it is.” I made a thinking mind that sends thoughts to support the ego and emotions like fear to terrorize and rage to impress me with its might. And still it does not exist.

And with all of this unreal proof, distraction and disguise, the truth remains fixed in my mind waiting patiently for me to tire of the game and take notice. It goes nowhere and is not in any way diminished by my self imposed ignorance.

There, I see You. I thought You were destroyed, and all along, I just had my eyes closed. Ha ha ha.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-7-12

7-7-12
2 What is the ego? Nothingness, but in a form that seems like something. In a world of form the ego cannot be denied for it alone seems real. Yet could God’s Son as He created him abide in form or in a world of form? Who asks you to define the ego and explain how it arose can be but he who thinks it real, and seeks by definition to ensure that its illusive nature is concealed behind the words that seem to make it so.

I am not really here in this world of the ego, entrapped in a body. How could that be true? I am as God created me. I am as God. I cannot be defined by form. I have no boundaries, and certainly I am not bound by skin and bone. And yet, I imagine myself made small and imprisoned, and this was supposedly done by a thought of smallness that I am learning to think of as ego.

Even though the ego is nothing, doesn’t really exist, as long as our mind is dreaming dreams of form we cannot deny the ego. In this world it seems very real, and since this is where we choose to be, we have to deal with the ego as if it is real. I deny the ego because I know it is not real, but if I pretend it has no affect on me, I am in denial about the ego.

When I began to learn about the ego and to understand how it works, I became obsessed with defining it. I wanted to know all about it, how we got to this place, what it means. Why would we ever leave Heaven if it were all that great? I wanted to learn to master the ego, to destroy the ego. And all of that was the ego response to the news that the ego exists. Even the desire to rid myself of the ego proclaimed its reality and its power to be a threat.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-6-12

7-6-12
2. THE EGO - THE MIRACLE
1 Illusions will not last. Their death is sure and this alone is certain in their world. It is the ego’s world because of this. What is the ego? But a dream of what you really are. A thought you are apart from your Creator and a wish to be what He created not. It is a thing of madness, not reality at all. A name for namelessness is all it is. A symbol of impossibility; a choice for options that do not exist. We name it but to help us understand that it is nothing but an ancient thought that what is made has immortality. But what could come of this except a dream which, like all dreams, can only end in death?

Sometimes I think I will never wake up. I notice that my mind is a jumble of wrong minded thoughts. I notice that I am reacting to something said to me. I notice that I am afraid, I feel guilty, I am ashamed, I am sad. And I think that I will never be anything else except these thoughts and feelings that are so unlike God.

Lately when I have these fears the Holy Spirit has reminded me that I am not the one who feels this way. The body/personality that is Myron and that I so often identify with, is an illusion and part of the illusion of the world I see around me. Illusions will not last. I was created by God as an extension of God and so am like God. I cannot die, or end in any way. I am eternal, therefore I cannot be this body. I cannot be this shifting and changing personality.

Therefore, when I feel lost and think I will never wake up, who is having this thought? Who is fearful? It cannot be me, so I have nothing to fear. I was reading a quote from Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani. It ended with this sentence which I changed to first person to make it more meaningful to me:

  I am already enlightened. I just have to realize it to allow it into my experience.

I, the true I, is already enlightened. In the present ego story of separation that I am engaged in, Myron is trying to remember the truth while living in an illusional environment. Its not easy, you know. If she were a real person and this were actually happening, I would feel bad for her. But she is just an imaginary person living out impossible dreams, but through her dream story she is helping me realize I am already enlightened.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-5-12

7-5-12
Continued 7 In this world the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice; always between two choices or two voices. Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice. Consciousness is the receptive mechanism, receiving messages from above or below; from the Holy Spirit or the ego. Consciousness has levels and awareness can shift quite dramatically, but it cannot transcend the perceptual realm. At its highest it becomes aware of the real world, and can be trained to do so increasingly. Yet the very fact that it has levels and can be trained demonstrates that it cannot reach knowledge.

Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice. I’m intrigued by this sentence. If will were not the first word in the sentence would it still be capitalized? If Jesus is talking about Will, the Will I share with God, then this sentence is telling me that my true Will is not part of this dream and has nothing to do with perception. In this way it is like God not being part of our dream. Our Will is not part of the dream, but continues creating as it always has, and as it was created to do, but not within the dream.

If this is the individual will, the separated will, that is being referred to in this sentence then it would be telling us that we cannot use our ego will, our ego determination, to make our choice for God, and that even our flimsy excuse for control is non-existent. We tell ourselves that it is a strong will that keeps us from doing certain things, and our strong will that keeps us from not doing other things. It seems this is not true.

For instance, I used to tell myself that when my will to lose weight became strong enough then I would go on a diet and stick to it. I was using the idea of an ego will to exercise control of my life, and to place myself above God. I would lose weight to prove I was in charge of my life and was strong. I would fail to lose weight and even this proved I was in charge of my life, and even in my weakness I proved I was above God.

Myron wasn’t doing any of this because she does not exist except in my mind. The real me was simply expressing beliefs in a three dimensional way and then identifying with that expression. But there was no use of will involved. I believe something to be true and it appears before me in some form so I can see how that works, and to see if I want to keep that belief or have it purified by the Holy Spirit.

To keep this straight in my mind, Will is creative and so is not associated in any way with the illusion. And will is simply another expression of the idea of separation, and so is in no way real.

When the Course uses the word consciousness it is referring to the mechanism that allows us to hear the two voices. It hears what the Holy Spirit says or it hears what the ego says. It functions only in the illusion where it is needed. It learns and so shifts and changes accordingly. Consciousness will eventually become aware of the real world but will not reach knowledge, which is outside the realm of illusions.

I identify most closely with consciousness because that is what I have to work with here, though I do understand that this is not what I am, but it is what I use. Yesterday I was doing errands and I began to feel mildly anxious. I watched my mind to see what was going on and realized it had been racing from one senseless thought to another. I deliberately shifted my focus to true thoughts and peace was restored.

This is an example of the consciousness mechanism at work. The awareness of the problem along with the decision for another Voice happened quickly because the consciousness is being trained to that purpose. I was also very aware that this is not who I am, and that awareness is growing.

I sometimes now have the sensation of not identifying self as Myron, though I know her well and so feel an attachment for her. (That sounds strange and is not actually accurate, but that is how it feels.) But I don’t have any feeling for who I am. I have words and concepts that I have learned through A Course in Miracles and through the Holy Spirit, but I don’t have any feeling for my true Self, nor any memory of what that is. Yesterday when that realization occurred, I felt like crying for a moment, but then was comforted. That Self is not lost, just out of my awareness for now.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-4-12

7-4-12

7 In this world the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice; always between two choices or two voices. Will is not involved in perception at any level, and has nothing to do with choice. Consciousness is the receptive mechanism, receiving messages from above or below; from the Holy Spirit or the ego. Consciousness has levels and awareness can shift quite dramatically, but it cannot transcend the perceptual realm. At its highest it becomes aware of the real world, and can be trained to do so increasingly. Yet the very fact that it has levels and can be trained demonstrates that it cannot reach knowledge. 

I’m going to take this slowly just to be sure I fully understand. In this world the only remaining freedom is the freedom of choice; always between two choices or two voices. However I perceive what is happening or what I am seeing, I can choose differently. I am free to decide if I will see this with Christ Vision and so become free, or if I will see it with ego and remain in bondage.

If I discovered tomorrow that I have cancer, I might think that I need to be free of cancer, but my freedom lies only in my two options. Option 1 is to listen to the world as it commiserates with me, and tells me how bad this is, and how important that something be done right away to try to save the body.

It tells me about treatments and alternatives, stories of loss, and stories of recovery. The world will tell me that this is about my body and safeguarding it, healing it, losing it. It will tell me that I have reason to feel guilty for not taking good care of it, or that someone else is guilty for creating an environment that encouraged the cancer.

Option 1 is the ego and its goal is to make the body and the world very real, and to discourage any other option. The effects of listening to this voice are confusion, fear, anger, guilt, shame, pain, suffering and death. Listening to this voice will bring me deeper into the illusion.

Option 2 is to listen to the Voice for God. This Voice will tell me the truth about my Self and encourage me to focus on it alone in spite of what seems to be happening. It reminds me that I am not the body that seems to be sick, and that I am still as God created me. It tells me that I have done nothing wrong, am not guilty, and do not deserve sickness.

The Voice for God gently reminds me that I am not this character everyone calls Myron and I think of as myself. It tells me not to worry about her because she is just a figment of imagination, a reflection of thought, and cannot actually be sick and die. The Holy Spirit assures me that if something needs to be done in the story I will be told what it is as I listen to only His Voice.

I am reminded that pain is not possible because there is only God and there is no pain in God. I am asked to remind myself often that what is not God, does not exist. God does not have cancer and I am in God; how could I have cancer?

This Voice talks to me about my true nature, about the love of God, about my perfection and my true purpose. He assures me that dream or nightmare, the one thing both have in common is that they are not real. Nothing is happening. No one is guilty. Freedom is just a thought away.

I look around and see all the illusion has to show me. I focus my attention on self as body and personality and see, feel, exhibit symptoms and think surely this is real, and the Voice for God is the illusion, and I’m back in hell. Or I look around and see God’s Work everywhere. I see the love of family, the support of friends. I see people coming together to pray and be as one in whatever way they understand joining. I see beauty even in the illusion of sickness and death as the choice for God is made and the Light of understanding shines through, dissolving the darkness that is sickness. With a change of thought, I am released from hell and out of the illusion.

Tomorrow I will continue listening to Holy Spirit tell me what He wants me to know about this paragraph.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-3-12

7-3-12
6 Wrong-mindedness listens to the ego and makes illusions; perceiving sin and justifying anger, and seeing guilt, disease and death as real. Both this world and the real world are illusions because right-mindedness merely overlooks, or forgives, what never happened. Therefore it is not the One-mindedness of the Christ Mind, Whose Will is one with God’s.

Through right-mindedness we get to the real world, but even the real world is an illusion. It is a happier illusion, a reinterpretation of the illusion, but still an illusion. To return to the One-mindedness of the Christ Mind, where there is nothing to overlook or forgive, we must first undo what we have done through wrong-minded thinking and to experience our world differently.

There is nothing wrong with the idea of experiencing separation if that is what we want to do. It is not a sin and not even a mistake. We are the unlimited Sons of God and that means we can have any experience we want. However, when we forgot to laugh at the idea and took it seriously, we mistakenly believed in the experience, thus making it true for us. From this mistaken belief fear and guilt arose, and from that a world of separation gone awry.

Choosing to listen to the Holy Spirit is the way we retrace our steps and correct the mistake we made. We can then have the experience we intended before we got lost in fear and guilt. Once we have answered the question, “what would it be like to experience separation,” we can then let the question go, and with it the experience.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-2-12

7-2-12
5 The mind can be right or wrong, depending on the voice to which it listens. Right-mindedness listens to the Holy Spirit, forgives the world, and through Christ’s vision sees the real world in its place. This is the final vision, the last perception, the condition in which God takes the final step Himself. Here time and illusions end together.

The mind, our illusion-making machine, can also be used to turn the illusions off, or more correctly, it can help us diminish our desire for illusions. This is true because within that mind is the Voice for God, the Voice that guides us out of our confusion. This Voice will help us awaken from our dream if we listen to it. If we follow the advice given to us, we will begin to see the world differently. Done consistently, we will begin to see the real world, a world without pain, suffering, or death. Past that, we do nothing. God takes the final step, and illusions and time end.

We can do nothing to end illusions, but we can hasten the real world, through learning to listen to the Holy Spirit rather than ego. Learning to do this is only a matter of practice and willingness. Just a little willingness will get us started, and the practicing itself will increase our willingness until finally, we want nothing else.

When I first began to practice watching my mind for dark thoughts, I was afraid of what I would find and so pretended not to see them. But the little I was willing to see gave me something to practice with. I would acknowledge those thoughts and ask for a different way to see them. I became willing to forgive what I saw, that is to realize I was seeing amiss, seeing something that was not what it seemed. Then I asked for something else. My mind turned from the ego to the Holy Spirit for a new interpretation.

That was such a satisfying experience that I did it again and again with much more frequency. I discovered that allowing myself to see the dark thoughts was ok. There were no dire consequences as the ego had warned. My trust in ego diminished and my trust in Holy Spirit grew. As I forgave what I was seeing through ego (that is as I realized it wasn’t true and allowed it to be transformed through Holy Spirit) I taught myself that this is something I want, and so I began to listen to the Voice for God more than I did the ego voice.

I continue this practice and now take great joy in it. My willingness is strong and my desire for God is growing every day. Now when I see myself holding onto a belief that is hurting me, I am not confused about what it happening. I know that I do this to myself. I am amazed that I do it considering how painful it is to defend against God, but I also know that I will turn from the ego, if not now, then soon. I no longer see it as a betrayal to myself and to God, so its not scary. I know it is just a confused mind searching for truth in the wrong place. And I know that the confusion cannot last because I don’t want it to.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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