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Study of Manual for Teachers7-20-12

7-20-12
6 God’s Will is all there is. We can but go from nothingness to everything; from hell to Heaven. Is this a journey? No, not in truth, for truth goes nowhere. But illusions shift from place to place; from time to time. The final step is also but a shift. As a perception it is part unreal. And yet this part will vanish. What remains is peace eternal and the Will of God.
The Course tries to make it clear to us that there is nothing for us to do and nowhere to go. There is only God. There is only God’s Will. There is only Heaven. I have spent years of study and practice. I have sought out teachers who could help me on my way. I have read lots of books and written two. Did all of this get me closer to God? Only in the sense that it helped me want to be closer to God. It could not get me to God because I am already there. The only thing that needs to change is the mind.

Shift is such a perfect word for what happens. I experience a shift in my thinking, a shift in my beliefs, a shift in my experience, a shift in my willingness. I think of it or express it as moving forward, but there is no forward to move to. I just shift in my understanding. And how do I do that? I just decide to. I accept what is being told to me. I believe.

Jesus says that I am innocent and so is everyone else. He’s pretty clear about that. He says it often and in many ways. No one is guilty of anything because nothing actually happens. We dream things. We dream stories with drama and impossible situations, like there being more than one of us and there being hate and fear, attack and defense. Just dreams. So the Holy Spirit answers our dreams by giving us another dream. This dream is forgiveness which undoes the other dreams. Ha ha ha. How perfect is that?

I forgive the idea that I could ever be guilty. Obviously that is not possible. God created me like Himself so I could only be guilty if He were. If I cannot be guilty, neither can you. There. We are forgiven. There is no reason to feel guilty and no reason to condemn. As guilt falls away there is nothing but Love. There is Heaven. There is God. How delightful! We didn’t have to do anything to get this, just stop believing the impossible.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers7-19-12

7-19-20
5 Forgiveness is a symbol, too, but as the symbol of His Will alone it cannot be divided. And so the unity that it reflects becomes His Will. It is the only thing still in the world in part, and yet the bridge to Heaven.
The work conference I am attending is coming to an end today. I have been attending this conference every year for the last 16 years. I told a co-worker that I think this year’s conference is the easiest ever. Even though I enjoy the conferences, usually by the time it’s over I am exhausted and very ready to leave. I am tired of talking to people, and smiling at everyone all the time. This year that hasn’t happened.

I think that the reason this year is different is because I remembered my purpose, and in remembering my purpose a lot of other stuff fell away. I didn’t smile because I had to, but because I wanted to. I felt happy so I smiled. I talked to people with a genuine interest and so it didn’t feel like a burden. All of this has been true for me in the past, but it was only partly true. Behind every smile was a different goal than love.

My goal was to keep customers and make new ones. It was to make an impression. It was to convince people that they should be my customer. Sure, I hoped that it would work out good for them and would make a genuine effort to assure that it would, but mostly, I wanted them to see things my way and stay, or be, my customer.

This goal required a great deal of energy as I tried to meet the expectations of each different person, to be what they wanted to see in me. It was tiring because it had nothing to do with love and everything to do with neediness. Not only was I feeling needy which is in opposition to my true nature, but I was using my brother (with little regard to his interests) to fill those needs. No wonder I felt disheartened by the end of those conferences.

This year I had one goal. I wanted to be the love that I am. I wanted to be a channel for that love to be expressed in whatever way would be most helpful. This gave all 1500 of us at the conference a single shared interest. They may or may not be aware of this interest, but in their Heart they all want the same thing; to be loving and loved.

If they did not know they shared this interest and they thought they wanted something else to come of the relationship, that was ok. I didn’t need them to know. I didn’t need anything from them and that was freeing. It is not possible to be disappointed if you have no expectations. With no expectations, everything that happens is perfect.

This didn’t mean I had no thoughts that opposed this goal, but it means I had no opposing thoughts that I was interested in. And even if one of those thoughts caught my attention briefly, I just turned it over to Holy Spirit to be purified and so let it go rather than judging myself for it. This is forgiveness. It is recognizing that nothing that is not God is true, so there is nothing to forgive. 

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers7-19-12

7-18-12
4 The face of Christ has to be seen before the memory of God can return. The reason is obvious. Seeing the face of Christ involves perception. No one can look on knowledge. But the face of Christ is the great symbol of forgiveness. It is salvation. It is the symbol of the real world. Whoever looks on this no longer sees the world. He is as near to Heaven as is possible outside the gate. Yet from this gate it is no more than just a step inside. It is the final step. And this we leave to God.

I am not sure what it means to see the face of Christ. If it means that we see everyone as innocent, I have experienced this and more and more often. I still see with ego at times, but this is changing. If it means I see light where there was once form, then I have not yet had this experience.

I am still at the work conference and still watching my mind. Yesterday my prayer was to remember my purpose all day long. I asked Holy Spirit to show me how God would have love each person I meet during the day.  As the day wore on and hundreds of people came by my booth, I forgot about the prayer, but Holy Spirit did not.

I had many loving encounters and while I did not think much about them at the time, now that I review the day I see that they were different than they might have been in the past. My attention was fully given to the one in front of me. When I asked about them, I listened and cared. Even if our encounter was brief, my smile and handshake was sincere. I mentioned to someone that this was the best conference yet, and I am sure that it is my joy in serving my true purpose that makes it feel so.

I ran into my chief competitor and a fleeting thought crossed my mind, more of a feeling and I watched it, but I also noticed it held no appeal. I just didn’t care about that, didn’t have interest in seeing an enemy in my brother. I ran into a man who used to be a customer. I used to hate seeing him because every time I did, I felt like a failure and inwardly winced at the mistakes I made with his account. This time I looked up and saw him and smiled and he smiled back. We had a long conversation and then later he came by to talk some more.

I have been trying to get a new customer and at first all went very well, then suddenly he quit taking my calls. This had really bothered me at the time and I would go over and over in my mind what I could have done differently and worried over what it meant. I felt resentment because of the way he acted and thought how rude he was. When I saw him all of that history went briefly through my mind, but I just couldn’t care. I don’t mean I knew I shouldn’t care and so I suppressed my feelings or hid from my thoughts; I just didn’t care.

I treated him like none of that mattered because it didn’t. Before the day was out he was smiling at me, and seeking eye contact. It is so easy to heal a relationship when the desire is pure. I don’t care whether he ever buys from me. I don’t care if he avoids me. I don’t care if he doesn’t like me. I don’t need anything from him, and in that holy place, all is healed and I am glad for his presence. Is that seeing the face of Christ, I wonder.

The night ended late and usually I am exhausted by that time, dead on my feet. But last night I was just tired and ready to go to bed. I do not doubt that the stress of seeing my brothers as enemies and plotting strategies of defense is what wore me out in the past. A simple prayer, truly meant, made all the difference in the world. Those were just a few of the encounters I had and some of them, while not appearing unusual on the surface, were truly miraculous in the sense that grievances were laid aside and love was exchanged. And only my desire was asked of me, the miracle did the rest. Thank you, thank you, God.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers7-17-12

7-17-12
3 And so they need an illusion of help because they are helpless; a Thought of peace because they are in conflict. God knows what His Son needs before he asks. He is not at all concerned with form, but having given the content it is His Will that it be understood. And that suffices. The form adapts itself to need; the content is unchanging, as eternal as its Creator.

I love this paragraph so much. God knows what I need before I ask and He knows that my neediness may not be helped with the ultimate simple truth. It may be that I perceive a need that requires an answer that seems to meet that need. The content, the love and truth, do not change, but the form it takes will be the form that is most helpful at the time.

God has given His Son everything, but in his confusion he does not remember this and so he thinks he has needs. He thinks he is helpless and so that is where God meets him, and gives him help. Our help comes as the Holy Spirit, One Who knows both the truth and the illusion, and is the bridge from one to the other.

I model my service on the same principle. I see the perceived problem someone has and I also see that it cannot be true. But would it be helpful to state the obvious? Maybe not. Sometimes when I am confused, I need a path out of my confusion. I need to back-track, and take it a step at a time. Always the story we think we are in and the solution we think we need are just illusions, but maybe that is where I need to start. If it is where I believe I am, then certainly that is where I need to start. Knowing this about myself, I know it can be true for others as well.

How do I know what to say to anyone? How do I know where they are in their confusion, and what would help them gain clarity and vision? I, on my own, cannot know, but the One Who put us together knows, and if I am willing to step back and allow that One to communicate through me, then we are both brought to a new clarity as our minds are healed.

It is such an elegant plan the Holy Spirit has. So many times I have had to laugh as the one he brings to me for an answer has the same question I have been struggling with. Through my willingness to be helpful and my willingness to become empty to allow His words to flow through me, I get the answer along with the one who asked.

If I can ask for an answer from Holy Spirit and receive it, why can’t everyone ask their own questions of Him rather than going to someone else for help? They can. But sometimes they don’t know it yet, and so God meets them in that place by sending them to His teachers. Sometimes they know they can get an answer simply by asking the Holy Spirit for help, but they are blocked by their own confused thoughts, and so God meets them there where they believe they are and provides the answer through some other means, a teacher or a book or in whatever way it seems to be helpful.

Sometimes when I have asked for help, I have received reassurance and comfort. I have been told to be patient and wait for the answer. I have been given the first step which then led to the next. Spirit has been very gentle. I had so much fear when I began this path that it was only with very small, hesitant steps that I could walk it.

As the fear gradually began to wane with the healing of my mind, my steps became more confident and sure, and the Holy Spirit’s answers more direct. But no matter what form the answer takes, the content is always Love and always leads to more healing. The pace when set by the Holy Spirit is always perfect for that healing without engendering more fear. This is why He should always be in charge, because only He knows what that pace should be for each individual.

Another thought:
The only time I fail to be helpful when working with someone else is when I start to think I know what the outcome should be and how they should get there. This happens when the spiritual ego takes over and sometimes it can be subtle and sneak up on me. But every time that has happened I have had the feeling that something is wrong. The Holy Spirit would tap me on the shoulder. Sometimes I would be so impressed with my own words I would ignore the tap. Sigh. But that was part of my lesson and noticing this with a willingness not to do it anymore has helped me to recognize the ego more quickly and to turn from it more gladly.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-16-12

7-16-12
2 Forgiveness might be called a kind of happy fiction; a way in which the unknowing can bridge the gap between their perception and the truth. They cannot go directly from perception to knowledge because they do not think it is their will to do so. This makes God appear to be an enemy instead of what He really is. And it is just this insane perception that makes them unwilling merely to rise up and to return to Him in peace.

We are confused, and in our confusion we have latched onto the idea that we are guilty for our confusion. It is guilt that keeps us bound to the world. It is guilt that causes the fear of God that makes us unwilling to go from perception to knowledge. And so, we are given a bridge to make it possible for us to cross. We have “a kind of happy fiction” that we are calling forgiveness, as a way to appease the guilt and allay the fear that makes us see God as an enemy. 

Though neither miracles nor forgiveness are real, they are necessary. They are the way out of the dream. Over and over I applied forgiveness to the many elements of my dream and watched the miracle occur as anger turned to peace, hatred dissolved into love, as all manner of misperception was unraveled right before my eyes to reveal the truth.

It sometimes seemed as if I dug in my heals and had to be dragged to the next miracle because I was sure that what happened, though amazing, was a rare trick, perhaps never again to be repeated. Then when it finally became obvious that this was possible, I could not believe it could be that simple.

My ego self kept insisting that surely there was more to do than just see that there is actually nothing to forgive, and even if this is so, surely there must be something more for me to do to make the miracle of transformation happen. It could not abide to see itself so unnecessary to the process. I accepted its many delays and distractions as inevitable and while I had gone too far to stop the process, I delayed it as long as I could.

In delaying the return to God, I was also protracting the painful separation from God, but fear and guilt are powerful blocks and hard to move past, but they depend on my belief for their very existence. The Holy Spirit was given to us to save us from our beliefs. He knows the truth and yet looks on our illusion as well. Because of His unique function He is able to help us bridge the gap. He sees the problem and the solution and He communicates both to us.

I notice that I feel angry or fearful, I see a judgmental thought in my mind, I feel like a victim, whatever form the guilt is taking, I show it to the Holy Spirit and He shows me the problem and provides the solution. Over and over I go through this process, and with infinite patience and gentleness, He leads me from guilt to forgiveness to truth.

This continues until finally I realize that I no longer really believe that I am guilty. I no longer really believe that anyone else is guilty. Since guilt is the glue that holds the illusion together, and since guilt depends on my belief, and I am withdrawing my belief, the miracle of transformation occurs. The illusion dissolves to show me what it had been concealing.

And even in the face of all this, I hesitate and need to be reassured that it could be that simple. Really? To take the next step I just accept that what I know is true, and it is done? I need an angel to talk me over and so of course that illusion is provided as well. And so everything looks the same, but everything has changed.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-15-12

7-14-12
4. FORGIVENESS - THE FACE OF CHRIST

1 Forgiveness is for God and toward God but not of Him. It is impossible to think of anything He created that could need forgiveness. Forgiveness, then, is an illusion, but because of its purpose, which is the Holy Spirit’s, it has one difference. Unlike all other illusions it leads away from error and not towards it.

It seems that forgiveness, like the miracle is an illusion, but it is an illusion that leads away from illusions. It took me a very long time to understand forgiveness as the Course teaches it. My mind kept going back to forgiveness as I have always understood it. This meant I had to first see that someone or something was wrong, and then try to forgive it. It was an endless cycle of going nowhere. Finally, in frustration, every time I said forgiveness, I reinterpreted it to mean undo.

Finally I see that I had no problem understanding the word or the new definition, I simply didn’t want to accept it. Now that I want forgiveness for myself and for everyone else, I can’t imagine returning to forgiveness to destroy. When I do have that desire to see someone as guilty and me as the benevolent dispenser of forgiveness, I laugh at the idea because it’s so silly. That’s the thing about the ego and all it tries to do, its just silly. It only seems awful when I believe it.

My friend, Barbara, wrote something that helped me tremendously. She said that it is our mind’s job to bring us disturbing thoughts. As soon as I read this, I shifted in my understanding. This is how it works. I notice a thought that my friend promised to be here and didn’t show up and that was just plain rude. Then the story grows as more thoughts appear. I am a busy person, and I made a place for her in my schedule. She may as well have said that I am not very important to her, that she has no respect for me. The ego will continue to add to the story as long as I am interested.

If I believe what my mind tells me I will begin to feel angry at my friend. I will start to doubt my own worth. I will become depressed. I will hate the way I feel, and will decide this, too, is the work of my friend and will resent her for that. I will either have to change my friend, or get rid of her.

I can call her and explain how much she has hurt me and how she should never do that again. As long as she understands her culpability, I will be willing to forgive her and give her another chance. If I don’t think I should be the one to do all the work, or if she doesn’t see reason I am left with the only other option, which is to get rid of her as a friend so she can’t hurt me anymore.

Or I can forgive her. I can recognize that the ego is just, once again, doing its job and bringing me disturbing thoughts. I can return my mind to sanity as I realize that nothing God created could ever need forgiveness. I realize that the only thing that happened is that my friend didn’t show up.  Everything else was just a thought in the mind to which I gave meaning. I can just watch the parade of thoughts as they pass me by. They cannot disturb me unless I engage them. Forgiveness is such a simple and perfect solution.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of Manual for Teachers 7-14-12

7-14-12
10 The miracle forgives; the ego damns. Neither need be defined except by this. Yet could a definition be more sure, or more in line with what salvation is? Problem and answer lie together here, and having met at last the choice is clear. Who chooses hell when it is recognized? And who would not go on a little while when it is given him to understand the way is short and Heaven is his goal?

I was at a wedding rehearsal last night. I had never met anyone there before I arrived. The couple had another minister lined up and he cancelled at the last minute, which is why I was in this situation. At any other time in my life I would have been very uncomfortable. I have never understood the rules of socialization.

I never knew what to say to people I don’t know, how to get a conversation started, and always imagined I was the only one who felt like this. This would make me feel less than, and in my uncertainty and discomfort I would begin to compare and project because this is what the ego mind does.

But a lovely thing happened on my way to awakening. I stopped caring about the “rules” of social behavior, about how I appear to others, about how I compare to other people. I stopped caring about myself. I stopped needing to fill the conversational void. I began to be interested in everyone else, but with no need for them to respond.

The groom’s parents are Pentacostal and the bride’s parents are Catholic. In the past, that alone would have made me uncomfortable because their religious beliefs preclude women as ministers. I would have felt judged and would have responded defensively, even if it were only in my mind. All this judgment and defense would have left me nervous and wishing I was someplace else.

When I noticed all this last night I saw these thoughts go through my mind, but since I didn’t invite them to stay, I saw everything through a different filter. It’s hard to explain in words, but I just found that I liked everyone. I noticed all sorts of delightful things about them. I wondered how the parents felt about the wedding being outside their respective churches and if there was tension between the parents since they did not socialize at all. But I did not pick up any of it because I only noticed and did not judge it.

The ego condemns. It sees everyone as a potential enemy, and is constantly on the defense.  The miracle forgives. It sees only Christ everywhere it looks and so has no need to defend, and without a need to defend, there is no attack.

If I had seen the parents as my enemy, judging me and wishing I were someone else, I would have been defensive, and in my mind, at least, I would have attacked them as being judgmental and harsh (which is exactly what I would have been doing to them) and this would have influenced my behavior with them. Everyone would have sensed this undercurrent and the experience would have been very different.

Through the miracle of forgiveness, none of this happened. I enjoyed them, and I was not the least uncomfortable. I noticed some of those old thoughts, as I said, but I didn’t believe them and so I did nothing to hold them in my mind, and they passed through without lingering. I am grateful for the miracle and grateful to Jesus for teaching me.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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